So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday, I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Mike Stanton for 2012. We’ve gone over the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. There’s only one of these godforsaken recap posts left before we’re into 2012 fantasy shizz. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Steve Cishek got the save, but it wasn’t that cut and dry. Edward Mujica came in for the ninth for the save, but promptly gave up 2 runs. One person who was nowhere in sight was Leo Nunez and with only 17 people in attendance at Joe Robbie/Pro Player/Blockbuster/Dolphin/Sun Life/Whoever Ponies Up Money To Sponsor This Godforsaken Stadium, it’s not hard to find someone. As of right now, I’d grab Cishek and Mujica, in that order, but yesterday I thought it was the opposite, so it could change at any moment. Really depends on McKeon or how good his memory still is. “Let’s warm up Looper!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Javier Vazquez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 11 Ks. From April-June, Vazquez looked like he should’ve retired. Or returred, if Ludacris is reading this. Or he looked down right turrible, if Charles Barkley is reading this. In July, he looked good. In August, he’s been great. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tommy Hanson is having his next start pushed back. Well, it’s not official yet according to the Braves. But they read Razzball, so we’ll just say it’s official now. Even if Hanson’s next start isn’t pushed back, it should be. On Saturday he looked like Rocky Dennis trying on a fitted ball cap. Please, blog, may I have some more?
After being hit on the kneecap by a Jon Lester pitch, Mark Teixeira needed to be helped off the field by “Quiz Kid” Donnie Smith– I mean, Joe Girardi. Te(i)x must have been in serious pain to let a grown man with braces help him off the field. That’s I before E except in Teixeira seizes codeine. Luckily, Te(i)x’s x-rays came back negative and it sounds like he’ll only be out a few days with a bruised knee. You feel me? Yeah, you do. Now stop touching me. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Jakubauskas – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. He’s not a worth a pickup outside a 20 team league that only uses Orioles. BTW, you think he ever misspells his own last name? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Danny Duffy is much better than Stan Stuffy. Or Brian Bruffy. Now Gerry Guffy, well, he’s another story. Stephen literally just went over his Danny Duffy fantasy. He wrote it in pink highlighter while having cornrows put in his hair. Oh, Stephen. So what can we expect of The Duffman? Maybe just a spot start. Though when the Royals announced it was only a spot start they did wink, wink, nudge, nudge the Royals beat reporter. His stuff/numbers have been dynamite this year. The Royals should just keep him in the rotation. I mean, who are they rushing to get back to in this rotation? Jeff Francis? Vin Mazzaro? Nadir Bupkis? No, blech and belch. I’d grab Duffy in AL-Only and very deep mixed leagues then wait to see if he stays in the rotation. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Guerrier – Just when you thought you had the Dodgers bullpen figured out, Don Mattingly bats his long, beautiful eyelashes and brings Guerrier on for the save. How many closers do the Dodgers have now? I don’t know, but more the Guerrier! What’s that circling above Dodgers Stadium? Oh my God, it’s save vultures! Don’t you dare peck at Vin Scully! He’s a national treasure! I think everyone knows how I feel about Padilla. I think he’s crizz to the ap. He’s not an effective closer. Guerrier, actually, can be. That still means to get Guerrier to five saves on the year in the City of Angels he needs a wing and a prayer. (Pun point!) But I would grab Guerrier if I had room and really needed saves. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Beltran, or as I like to call him Rickie from My So Called Life because of his resemblance, went 3-for-5 with 6 RBIs and 3 homers yesterday. 2006 called they want Beltran back. I’d put Beltran in the same boat as Sizemore. In fact, I did yesterday. He’s not going to steal bases anymore. Those days appear closer in the rearview mirror than they actually are. Beltran hasn’t even attempted a steal this year. Watching him play and you realize Ron Kovic could give him a run for his money. So if someone in your league thinks, Beltran is back to the 30/20 player he once was I’d check raise to the bettor and see what they have to offer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Justin Masterson – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 12 baserunners, 6 Ks. A pimply teenager runs into frame and screams, “Watch out! Justin Masterson is falling back to earth!” Then Roland Emmerich calls cut, but it’s too late. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The other day I looked at the pitchers that were getting lucky for fantasy baseball. Today, we hold that up to the mirror and see how the other half lives. You know, the losers that should be winners. The Jon Cryer’s of the world. Or is he just a loser? How about these guys are the Ronald Miller’s? They’re going to go from total geek to total chic. These pitchers are either not leaving men on base at a normal rate and/or they’re giving up hits like there’s 7 Pat Burrells fielding behind them. They couldn’t get lucky with a bottle of Rumplemintz and Lindsay Lohan. But that could all change. Anyway, here’s a list of pitchers with the biggest difference between their xFIP and their ERA. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Already thin 3rd base position just got a lot thinner with Pablo Sandoval breaking his hamate bone. When Sandoval first heard the bad news, he pulled a half-eaten ham bone out of his pocket and asked if the doctor could insert it in the injured bone’s place. He couldn’t. Sandoval now knows how Rikki Lake feels when she lost all that weight then lost her job. Sometimes fatty boombalatties are best to stay fatty boombalatties. Hey, I don’t make the world, I just live in it. So, Sandoval will miss up to 2 months with surgery and rehab. His blimpotence was already an issue and hamate bone breaks tend to zap power further. It’s not a good day to own Sandoval. Yesterday wasn’t very good either. Tomorrow probably won’t be much better. Then on Wednesday…Well, you get the point. When Mark DeRosa returns, he stands to see an increase in ABs, for those in NL-Only leagues who just need counting stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Zimmerman – Will miss 6 weeks with a tear of the rectus muscle in his abdomen. Why does he have an anus in his stomach? Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Marlins outfield is only big enough to handle one prospect as Logan Morrison is hitting the DL on the same night that Mike Stanton finally hits a home run. Morrison projected to be the anti-Stanton with solid AVG and OBP but limited power (10-15 HRs). Yet after 4 early HRs, he was showing the 4-category prowess that makes owners feel all a-tingle. But then Logan goes and hurts his left foot and will miss 2-4 weeks. Guess Daniel Day-Lewis is now the favorite for the title role in The Logan Morrison Story. I’d stash vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Many things have changed since December when we kicked off the 2011 fantasy baseball sleeper posts. For one, the date. For two, some of these guys are no longer that sleepery. For three, hut-hut-hike! As long as you don’t reach too far, sleepers can make all the difference on your team. You’re not grabbing a sleeper in the first round. You’re not like, “Hey, Swiggy Cabrera, you go threaten death on the shot girl, I’m going with Juan Miranda.” You should have a solid foundation in the first eight to ten rounds, then mix some sleepers in after that. If you click on the names for these players, there’s entire posts about some of them with their 2011 projections. It’s magical! Anyway, here’s some sleepers for 2011 fantasy baseball:
Shaun Marcum – Member back in December when he was first traded and I started raving about him? We were younger back then and you had more hair. Also, Marcum was still sleepery then. Now? Not so much. Seems like everywhere I look people are abuzz with excitement over Marcum. Assuming you don’t pay too high of a price, he can still have value. Please, blog, may I have some more?