Fantasy Baseball Advice

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2009 Nationals Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Fire Jim Bowden.

1) Which Bowden Fluffer are you the most excited about? And what do you expect from them in 2009?

Elijah Dukes. He has tremendous plate discipline for a player his age, very good on-base skills, and tremendous power. He gets a lot of negative press because of his track record, but from what we’ve seen in DC he’s been a good teammate and frankly pretty close to a model citizen. I’m more concerned about his ability to stay healthy than anything. In 2009, I think a .260 / .360 / .470 line is a totally reasonable projection, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see him beat that by 20 points in each category. If he stays healthy and gets 500 ABs, I think we’ll see 30+ homers, 100+ RBI, and an all-star game appearance.

2) Ryan Zimmerman seemed poised for a 30/100 year until last year’s limp-wristed year. What’s your prediction for him in 2009?

Zimmerman started slow, which has become a typical occurrence for him, and then had a shoulder injury that cost him two months and sapped almost all of his power for the next month after that. He finally hit his first dinger after the injury on August 27, and from that game on he ripped a .325 / .381 / .553 line. He’s not that good, but that’s a hell of a month for anyone. So I’m ready to toss out his 2008 as an aberration. That said, he isn’t a 300 / 100 guy. He’s a .280 BA, 20-25 HR guy who shouldn’t be hitting higher than 6th for a good team. And he’s one of the best defensive 3Bs in baseball. And he’s only 25. That’s a very valuable package, but a lot of people expect more because Bowden (as is his wont) way overhyped him when he was drafted, with comps to Mike Schmidt and Brooks Robinson. He always does that to players, and it’s so unfair. But whatever. This year I think CHONE’s projection for 2009 is a fair projection: 19 HR, 78 RBI, .289 BA / .364 OBP / .488 SLG. I’d be surprised if he did a lot better or worse than that, assuming he’s healthy.

3) Any optimism for the Nats staff? Any chance Scott Olsen or Daniel Cabrera are inspired by Obama and give us change we can believe in?

In a word, no. I dislike Scott Olsen as a player about as much as anyone in the Natmosphere. His K rates and velocity have been in free-fall. He’s gone from 8.27 K/9 in 2006 to 6.78 in ‘07 to 5.04 in ‘08, and he’s lost 3 mph off his fastball over that time. He’s a slight flyball pitcher also, and his command is ok but nothing fantastic. It’s just not a very good package. Last year he only survived in the Marlins’ rotation because of an unsustainably low .266 BABIP. Plus, he’s probably the worst teammate and one of the bigger head-cases in the league.

I don’t dismiss Cabrera’s chances quite as much as Olsen’s, but I don’t see him as anything more than a marginal fifth starter, and I don’t put any stock in his vaunted “upside.” He just can’t hit the strike zone–he improved slightly on his 5.11 career BB/9 last year, but at the same time his K/9 fell to 4.75. He’s just very hittable. Guys know he can’t get strikes with the slider and sit on his mistakes. A lot of people are putting stock in the move from the AL East, but it’s not like the Mets, Phillies, Marlins, and Braves are weak little sisters.

The team’s rap is that Olsen and Cabrera will be as good as Odalis Perez and Tim Redding but with upside. That’s poppycock. I actually would feel better about the team starting Jason Bergmann than either of these two, but Bowden’s hated him from the start, so that’s not going to happen. Frankly, I wouldn’t be at all suprised to see Olsen shipped off to Syracuse and Cabrera moved to the bullpen by the end of July.

4) Who gets more saves for the Nats in 2009? Hanrahanananan or Saul Rivera or wildcard?

Hanrahan will be the closer on Opening Day, and he’ll have to totally fall apart to lose the job. That could happen though. Last year was the first time in his pro career that he had any idea at all where the ball was going.

Rivera is an underappreciated gem. I know, middle relievers are pretty fungible commodities, but Rivera’s a groundball machine who never gives up the long ball and a total workhorse. I wanted him to close last year after the Rauch deal. But the team doesn’t see him as a closer because he doesn’t strike people out.

The wild card in my mind would be Garrett Mock. He should be given a shot at the rotation, but if he doesn’t get that he could be a back-end reliever. He’s been posting some very nice K-rates across every level since 2007, and last year he K-ed 10.1 per 9 in 41 MLB innings.

This team’s bullpen depth is really shaky. Who pitches the 7th inning for this team? Wil Ledezma? Jesus Colome? Steve Shell? Mike Hinckley? Nationals fans have been spoiled for years with stellar bullpens that have hidden our putrid rotations. That’s all over now. This year could be ugly.

I’d like to see Manny experiment with some less traditional bullpen usage this year. He doesn’t have any bullpen aces, so why not just play matchups? I don’t like the old Tony La Russa rigid 1-inning closer model anyway. But I’m not sure Manny has the vote of confidence from management that he’d need to push something so non-traditional.

One thing to watch is Chad Cordero. If he bounces back this year while the Nationals bullpen immolates, then you can go back to last July when Bowden humiliated Chief by announcing on sports talk radio 6 months before he had to that he’d be non-tendered without any notice to the player. Cordero said at the time that he was livid and unlikely ever to resign with the Nationals. Since then he’s been more forgiving, and he’s still out there, but I would be stunned to see him back, and I think the Nationals will miss him.

5) Your site is called Fire Jim Bowden. While Bowden certainly hasn’t distinguished himself as a GM, it is a tough economy and we hate to see someone unemployed. If no longer GM, what would you think would be a more suitable job for him?

He desperately craves the media spotlight, and although I find his personality grating I think he was a natural on Cold Pizza.

But if you’re asking about jobs in baseball, I think he would be a valuable asset as a scout. He has a decent eye for hitters, and there’s no question that he has a knack for finding useful role players in the major league trash heap. But that’s not nearly enough to build a winner, and he has no capacity whatsoever to think long-term and stick to a plan. Any fantasy baseball amateur could match his performance drafting pitchers. He doesn’t care a lick about defense. He’s literally never drafted a middle infielder who’s gotten so much as a cup of coffee in the majors ever. So I wouldn’t want him in charge of scouting and development, but if he was just a roving advance scout with a focus on finding young toolsy bats and undervalued veterans working for a guy like Jack Zduriencik or Pat Gillick he could contribute.

Delmon Young has 7 home runs for the season, but 3 in the last seven games. Mouth on the left side of the screen says, “Tor-.” Mouth on the right side of the screen says, “-rid.”  …Torrid. Capital T, lowercase -orrid. (As if there’s any other kind of -orrid.) This is a whole lot better than horrid, which he was the first half of the season. Delmon has jowls of a near-20 HR hitter or so say just about every fantasy baseball ‘pert in the beginning of the year. Composite projections look like 76/17/88/.290/15. That’s Shandler, Baseball Prospectus, Rotowire and our own Rudy Gamble’s Point Shares. (See, we only sound arrogant like we don’t read/listen to any other ‘perts, but that’s not true. We’re just aware you’re not that interested in reading how we come to our conclusions. And even less interested in hearing how you are uninterested.) But right now Delmon Young is at 61/7/52/.290/13. So does this mean all of the ‘perts are wrong on Delmon or will he go on an absolute tear in the final 40 games? I’d say a little bit of both probably. He’ll fall low on RBIs, slightly higher on steals, but HRs can be made up fast and I’m buying that he gets close to 17. Anyway, here’s some players to buy and sell for fantasy baseball:

BUY

Marlon Byrd – Don’t Cha wish your last week was fly like me… Don’t Cha!

Melvin Mora - I’ve never liked Mora. Just doesn’t seem like he cares much. But he’s hitting third on the Orioles (I know, great shakes!) and he’s hit .384 since the All-Star break with 6 Melvins and 32 Moras.

Joey Devine -Season numbers look incredible. How incredible, Grey? Tell us! Okay, but don’t sit on my lap. It’s weird. 32 Ks in 27.2 IP, a .98 ERA and a .98 WHIP. For those that read the FBHOF posts and have an encyclopedic memory, like moi, you won’t need this reminder, but go check out this FBHOF post and read about Eck’s historic season. Identical ERA/WHIP ain’t easy, son. (Not son as in I’m your Dad, but you were just sitting on my lap.)

Brad Ziegler – *shakes fist at defaced poster of Orel Hershiser* Don’t worry, you still got value, Ziegler. A whole lot more than that other German reliever, Heilman.

Jensen Lewis – I love Swensen’s! (Editor’s note: Swensen’s did not pay for Grey’s endorsement. In fact, if they knew, they would probably request Grey keep their name out of his mouth.)

Matt Capps – Only about a week away. If he was dropped in your league, I’d pick him up if you have room. Nope, no room! Sure, just move the camping gear out of the trunk.

Jeff Kent – So everyone pegs this D-Bag to get 17 Hrs, he’s at 11. And that was before Manny. I just grabbed him in a 15 team ‘pert league.

Asdrubal Cabrera – Yes, his first name sounds like a leaky bum, but in August he’s batting .310 with 2 HRs and a 1 steal.

Ty Wiggington – Another hot 2nd baseman. Actually, he’s been hot for a 3rd baseman. Surprising factoid of the day, he’s only 30. I would’ve guessed 37.

Wandy Rodriguez – No Rhyme or Reason, “Yeah, I can talk. Whaddup?” “I’m picking up Wandy.” No Rhyme or Reason, “That makes sense to me.”

Dan Wheeler/Grant Balfour – I’m grabbing Wheeler first, and only after he’s gone am I looking at Balfour. UPDATE: Since I wrote this, the Rays announced Balfour would fill-in. Saves are the bottom line, so he should be the first one grabbed. I still think Wheeler will get a handful of chances.

Jeff Francoeur – As I like to say about one of my female neighbors, “What a bust.” But the other day, he hit his first home run in over month. If you didn’t have Frenchy throughout his razztastic season and he’s sitting on your league’s waiver wire, he could have value in the last 40 games.

Chris Dickerson – Okay, so I touted him here and here in the last day. Get Off My Dickerson And Tell Yo B**** To Come Here. (BTW, **** Weren’t asterisks to look below the post. That was to fill in for “itch.”)

SELL

Jed Lowrie – The newest recipient of the tooting of the Sons of Sam’s Horn. With one home run and zero steals in 122 at-bats, I wouldn’t even be talking about him if he was on any other team.

Chris Young – Looks like a lost season and I’d just drop him to waivers, except in the deepest of leagues.

Jorge Campillo – Getting off here, fellas. Next stop, Pueblo de Wandy Rodriguez.

Phil Hughes – Holy heffin’ heff, ESPN JUST!!! announced that the NY Daily News announced that the Yankees might announce Hughes might take over for Giese. I guess it’s better than their usual announcement that Hank Steinbrenner farted.

D.J. Carrasco – First he played the skinny, cracked out buddy in those teen comedies and now he might take Contreras’s spot in the rotation. He’s worth a flier in AL-Only leagues, that’s about it.

Paul Byrd – Yes, being on the Sox gives him a bit more value. But he doesn’t strikeout anyone. Last year, in nearly 200 innings he K’d 88 guys (only two of those were Adam Dunn, but 16% of them came in interleague). He’s onto some similar yawnstipating numbers this year. He’s given up 23 HRs compared to his schmohawkian 56 Ks. Has he been good recently? Yup. Could he be good against the Jays tonight? Perhaps. In the long run, Koko B. Ware because the Byrd man will kill you.

Troy Percival – After the game, he was seen in crutches (and some fly-ass Zubaz). Percival lost nearly a month with a sore hammy. Now he’s on crutches (in fly-ass Zubaz) as he heads to the DL and he’s old as dog balls. I’d drop him if your DL-spot is Nissan Sentra crowded.

Daniel Cabrera – Member that girl you slept with who bugged out and put together a future photo album, which was pictures of Ken and Barbie posing as you and the girl in the future?  Dooooode! Cabrera’s the pitching equivalent of that crazy ass chick!

Matt Holliday hits the 15-day DL with a strained hamstring. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just sat for a few days and pushed through it if the Rockies were in a better position team-wise. Well, ain’t that a kick in the pants? In one NL-Only league I have Holliday, I’m pretty much screwed. Some people who are out there in some leagues (this is the order I’d pick them up, but, as always, it depends on needs): Mike Cameron, Bill Hall, David Murphy, Jose Guillen, Gary Matthews Jr. or Joey Gathright. Then there’s Seth Smith, another stopgap replacement for Matt Holliday, is the rookie call-up that should be replacing him (at least against righties) while Holliday’s on the DL. Is he worth a flier? Sure, but he’s got two strikes against him. 1) The Rockies seem convinced he’s nothing more than a pinch-hitter and 2) The Rockies have options in the outfield. Hopefully you have some maneuverability so you can just pickup a hot hitter and not have to worry if he’s an outfielder. Holliday swears he’ll be back in two weeks on June 8th; he better not pull a Kotchman. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday:

Clayton Kershaw – The most hyped non-Mexican, non-Jew Dodgers lefty of all-time. He has the kind of stuff that can battle back from being behind on hitters. Pretty impressive debut. Of course, his ownership is contingent on the farkakteh Yahoo waiver process. I know they are reading this, because they’ve linked here before, so I’m going to explain something to them. Everyone else can skip ahead. Rudy covered this already in one post; I’m adding my two cents. Yahoo, take everyone that is sent down to the minors and pull them from waivers until they are called back up. So if they are not currently rostered and they are in the minors, then they are unavailable. Rich Hill? Yup. Homer Bailey? Yup. Sidney Pollack? Well, he’s a film director, so he should be unavailable too. I prefer everyone is available, but obviously you can’t figure out how to do that. CBS Sportsline and ESPN are doing a lot better job than you, so I’m assuming it’s a financial decision on your part. Well, financially it can’t take much programming (I’m pretty computer-stupid, so I’m not sure about this) for you to simply make everyone in the minors unavailable. This way at least there’s an even playing field. Right now, some minor leaguers are available and others are not. It feels completely willy-nilly and it causes unnecessary confusion. Why would Jay Bruce be available and Clayton Kershaw not be? There’s no reason other than a complete lack of regard for your customers. If this is not rectified by next year, I will do everything in my power to direct people to any site other than Yahoo. Okay, carry on. And thanks for reading!

Kevin Kouzmanoff - A Padres hitter besides A-Gonz that is hot. Weird! Kouzmanoff was a preseason favorite of mine because I figured he’d build on his strong ‘07 second half. Well, it didn’t work out fully like that early on, but he is getting hot now. Here’s hoping he stays hot.

Aaron Cook – Sure, he averages four Ks a game if you count the front and back of his jersey, but he can be useful.

John Maine – If I have a pitcher facing another pitcher on my team or pitching at Coors, I almost always start him. I figure there’s no reason to have a guy if you’re not going to start him. Maine went against Cook today on my ten team mixed league and it worked out fine.

Jon Lester – Make-A-Wish sends Lester back out to do battle on his own.

Ryan Zimmerman – Being outslugged by Aaron Boone. Awesome!

Corey Hart – Last year he didn’t get hot until June. Hopefully that doesn’t mean he’s going to get cold a month earlier this year.

Manny Parra – I think a minor league stint might be in his future. As he’s been pretty, um, sub-Parra.

Cole Hamels – I hate to the bearer of bad news, but knowing Hamels, a bad outing means he’s injured. I sure hope I’m wrong. In his defense, he had a ten minute delay because Carlos Lee bonked the ump with his bat.

John Smoltz – Experienced tightness in his shoulder. The Braves don’t consider it setback. Nah, why would tightness in a shoulder be a problem for a pitcher over the age of forty? I told you two weeks ago to try and trade him if you don’t need saves. At this point, I’m thinking I’d trade him for another closer if you do need saves.

Daniel Cabrera – If you have high blood pressure, you may want to consult with a doctor or Leo Mazzone before adding Daniel Cabrera to your fantasy baseball team.

Nomar Garciaparra/Andruw Jones/Rafael Furcal – When Torre was asked how he felt about the injuries hitting Garciaparra, Jones and Furcal, Torre said, “Two out of three ain’t bad.”

Justin Verlander/C.C. Sabathia – Both pitched well, neither got the win. It’s like their poor Aprils pissed off their teams and now they’re not speaking. Maybe in their next start they can get makeup sex.

Josh Hamilton – He was ejected yesterday. Let’s hope it doesn’t send him on misbehavior spiral. Hopefully he just gets another tattoo and calls it a day.

Fausto Carmona – He’s expected to miss about four weeks with a strain in his left hip. Carmona was seen muttering, “Why can’t I have hips like C.C.? He’s got them good girthing hips.” For his owners, don’t worry, get Laffey. Actually, worry.

J.J. Putz – He blew a save to give the Yanks a three-game sweep. The Mariners management is contemplating whether to outsource the team to Asia.

Jorge Cantu – He hit two more home runs yesterday. What does Florida have to do to suck? Their owner must feel like the female owner in Major League.

Evan Longoria – He gets another big late inning hit. If it weren’t for all those early and mid innings, he’d be hitting higher than .246. Longoria is going to be great. Odds are it won’t be this year. There are more Gordons than Brauns.

Carlos Quentin – While Carlos Quentin may have 14 HRs, Eric Byrnes still has better hair.

Aaron Harang – 9 Ks in 4IP. How hard do you think Dusty had to twist his arm to enter a game facing the Padres at Petco?

Corey Patterson – After going 0 for his first 8 ABs, Corey was successful in sacrificing a player to second. It’s fitting because when Red fans think of sacrificing a player, they think of Corey.

Jay Bruce – Red fans are calling for Bruce so much they sound like they’re from Jersey.

Edinson Volquez – He got Dustied today. No idea how Dusty throws a rookie pitcher out there two days after he threw more than 90 pitches. Somewhere, Mark Prior sheds a tear like a commercial Native American crying at environmental abuse.

Direct TV – I love how I watch a game for six hours and then it cuts out three minutes before Adrian Gonzalez hits a game-winning home run. Maybe Direct TV’s the mastermind behind Yahoo’s waiver process.

When I go for chicken ‘n waffles, they have to be smothered in gravy; that’s just the way I like ‘em. And I love me some Red Rooster Hot Sauce. I can do without the hot sauce, but it makes the whole experience so much better. I mention this for two reasons, 1) I’m really hungry and my woman’s taking a long time preparing my eats and 2) a rookie pitcher like Manny Parra is the hot sauce. You shouldn’t expect them to win your championship. You have your chicken ‘n waffles and gravy. You need those components.  (Yes, I’m calling chicken, waffles and gravy components.) But the extras — the hot sauce — the rookie pitchers, the ones you don’t count on, they make everything that much better. Actually, I’m not sure if that metaphor makes any sense, but like I said, I’m hungry so bear with me. I don’t think Manny Parra is out there in too many leagues, but if he is, you should jump on him. The hot sauce can make all the difference. (Okay, just returned from dinner to finish this post and that pre-dinner rambling made a surprising amount of sense. You’re welcome.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Mike Mussina – If you have him on a team, you’re probably reading this site for the pictures.

Erick Aybar – Left yesterday’s game with a hand injury. Chone Figgins says, “Ah-ha,” a’la Nelson from The Simpsons.

Ryan Ludwick – Vincent aka The Queen’s Assassin was asked about in the comments recently. Crux of the question was, “Can Ludwick keep up this pace?” My abbreviated/edited answer, “Chances he keeps hitting three home runs a week? Slim to anorexic. Can he get to 30 home runs? Probably. He’s about a HR/15 at-bat guy. LaRussa’s your biggest obstacle right now because there’s a chance he starts some other schmohawks in the outfield over Ludwick and Rasmus is waiting in the wings too. I’d say that Ludwick can net you 65/28/80/.270.” And that’s me quoting me!

Salomon Torres – He could be back on as the Brewers closer since Backne is complaining of stiffness.

Clint Barmes – Homered in third straight game. Deer Meat plots its revenge.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – He has absolutely killed me thus far in my ‘pert league. Get a load of this one, this was his first three RBI game of the year. That’s pathetic. According to Elias Sports Bureau, this is the latest point in the year that anyone’s knocked in three runs for the first time after starting a majority of their team games. (Elias Sports Bureau didn’t actually say that. But here’s some things that were overheard last week at the Elias Sports Bureau, “For the first time in three years, the soda machine ran out of Dr. Pepper before Orange Crush,” “Patrick slept with his secretary sixteen times before telling the same co-workers he swore not to tell,” “On March 3rd, the elevator stopped at every floor three times before it stopped at the fourth floor once. This is the first time in the history of the Elias Sports Bureau elevator that this has happened.”

Corey Hart – Looks like he’s finally getting hot. About time, now maybe he can send that elixir Alexis Rios’s way.

C.C. Sabathia – Now has a 1.17 ERA and a 28/3 K/BB ratio in his last three starts. He’s still 77% Number One Starter and 23% Twinkies. (The margin of error is plus or minus four percentage points.)

Yunel Escobar – Was helped off the field after taking Church’s noggin to his knee. I’m hoping this is nothing because he’s been most of my offense on one team. I’m talking to you, Kouzmanoff!

Daniel Cabrera – I feel like he will burn you at any moment, but he’s thrown eight consecutive quality starts and didn’t walk anyone against the Yankees, a team that draws walks against Carlos Silva. Whoever took the risk and grabbed him late or off waivers could reap serious rewards this season. Unfortunately, I didn’t pick him up in any league. *sniffing the air* I smell like vagina.

Adam Jones – He went 4-for-5 and knocked in four RBIs yesterday. (He’s beating you, Kouzmanoff.) I dropped Jose Guillen in my ‘pert league to grab Adam Jones. I figured that I know what I’m getting from Guillen, but with Adam Jones, who knows, maybe he’s adjusted quicker than anyone thinks he can. ‘Member he was a lot of prognosticators’ choice for AL ROY in the preseason. (BTW, prognosticators was your Word of the Day.)

Chad Billingsley – I’m thinking Billingsley can win a Cy Young in two years and he will be in my top twenty starters for next year. Yeah, I’m crushing hard.

Chase Headley – He didn’t do anything yesterday. (Well, I’m sure he did something. I mean, he is alive and all. Some extremely large people considering eating ‘doing something.’ Others consider Yahtzee ‘doing something.’ So Chase was doing something, just not sure what it was. But I digress.) The reason why I mention him is because this morning I picked him up in the same ‘pert league. (Yeah, when you have Kouzmanoff, you scrounge for offense.) He seems like he’s due up within a week or two. (June 1 gives the Padres some extra arbitration time.) I don’t know if I’m going to have him by the time he’s called up, but if I do, then I might have an extra piece on offense. He hit nearly .350 in spring training with pop. And, really, it’s not like he can hurt the offense that the Padres are trotting out there every day, so why wouldn’t they bring him up? (BTW, there were three sets of parentheses in this entry alone. That’s impressive. (And four if you count that one (Wait, that’s five) Now six) Infinity!)))

I’m not looking at his wins and losses. I’m not even looking at Matt Cain half the time. Just the numbers, ma’am. His BABIP shows he’s been unlucky this season. His Ks say he can still hang with the big boys. I don’t like walks. After last night, he has a 29/23 K/BB ratio. That’s atrocious. Last night, I actually watched Cain. He’s got filthy stuff, but the numbers don’t lie. He’s not just missing; he’s missing. Last night, he walked Hawpe and Tulo then got Baker to line out. Actually he got lucky to get a line out. Then you throw in a Taveras bunt out to kill another rally and good relief from Vinnie Chulk to save Cain in the sixth inning and what I saw was a pitcher who gave up four runs in five innings in most games. I’d see what kind of offers I could get if I dangled Cain. Anyway, here’s what else I saw:

Eugenio Velez – Heffin hey, he’s fast. If you need steals, here you go. Still not sure if he can get on base with any regularity.

Mike Napoli – Now at six home runs. Does it really matter if he’s not playing every day? That was rhetorical.

Dan Haren – I didn’t end up with him on any team, but I loved him coming into the season. As I said in the beginning of the season, any concern about his 2nd half stats should be assuaged (Word of The Day) by the move to the NL.

Jon Garland – I’d say he could be a giant bust this year, but I think you need to have positive expectations for that to happen. No one really bought into Garland, did they? Except for The Orange County Angels, of course.

Frank Thomas – He got a triple? I was watching Thing 2 get the boot from Flavor of Love and missed it, but… wow. Did anyone see this? Did Vlad’s leg finally fall off when he was going after the ball? Did the Angels pull their outfield for Frank’s at-bat? I’ve seen The Big Limp barely make it to first legging out a walk; I can’t believe he got a triple. I’d like to see some video evidence of this. BTW, Thomas has value if you need some pop in your utility.

Carlos Quentin – Now with six home runs. If you still have Sheffield on your team while Quentin languishes on waivers, I’m blocking your IP. Expose yourself!

Franklin Gutierrez – Not an exciting 2-for-4, but The Big FraGu still got it. You should take gambles on fifth outfielders. He’s one I’d consider.

Mike Mussina – If he’s on your team, you’re just not trying hard enough. Laffey looked better taking the loss and that’s not praise for either pitcher.

Albert Pujols – He’s batting .382 with five home runs and 20 RBIs. Cust kayin’.

Edwin Encarnacion – Hit in 17 of the last 18 games. I think he might finally be up to 51% owned in ESPN leagues.

Brandon Wood – He was recalled by the Angels and then made to watch from the bench. I don’t understand either.

Daniel Cabrera – Member that corner he turned last week? Yeah, he just turned another corner back to crap.

Hank Blalock – He was placed on the DL? How could it be? That makes no sense. I thought he was already on the DL. Okay, you want to carpool to work because it will save you two hours a day because you’ll be able to drive in the HOV lane. But Hank Blalock and Nomar are the carpool captains for your neighborhood and will be driving you every third week. Do you drive with them or sit in traffic an extra two hours every day? Trick question.  You sell your house and move.