Let’s all give Scott Sizemore a big “Welcome back.”  Well… Let’s give him a medium-sized “Welcome back…”  Screw it!  Let’s give him a quick “Hey” and a head nod like you give to your sister’s boyfriend that you can’t stand.  It’s not like he’s done all that much in his short time in the majors, but — and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but — who else are you rocking at your middle infidel spot?  Sizemore was hitting in the minors (.408/.495/.605 and 2 homers in 92 PAs).  It’s worth the flyer to see if he can translate minor league success to the majors.  Who knows?  Now that bin Laden’s listening to Gary Glitter’s Greatest Hits in hell, maybe Sizemore can get his bats through customs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Freese – He’s gonna miss nine to twelve weeks.  Or the same amount of time it takes to get a 4-year degree from the University of Phoenix.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS.  On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening.  Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan works things out.  Then Nathan returns, gets torched again and, finally, the Twins send him to the Disgraceful List.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Right now, we’re at the point where Nathan’s off to work things out.  I don’t think this ends well for Nathan.  Someone in the Twins organization should’ve stepped forward and said, “Hey, Taipei, you’re a gamer in the non-nerd way, we appreciate that.  No one likes nerds — the candy or otherwise.  But, listen to me, you’re rushing yourself back.  Chillax!  Go get a Jamba Juice, enjoy some me time and let’s take it slow with your recovery.”  But, well, that didn’t happen.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Brian Duensing – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s a Duensing machine!  Would I pick him up in certain deep leagues?  Yes, but I don’t trust him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Well my friends, or enemies, it has come to be again:  Baseball… sorry… fantasy baseball! Is there anything more addictive than fantasy baseball? Twenty plus weeks of stats and trades, adds and drops. Preseason stuff is all well and good… but we want competition amongst our so-called friends.  Week one started early and for those in weekly leagues that can’t use any of this: I’m sorry.  For those who can, start off by asking yourself, “Will this help me?” and “Do I really need to add any of these players?” The answer to both of those questions is subjective: It all depends on league size, team need, and scoring setup.  So use the advice I give with fair warning and don’t just do it ‘cause I made a suggestion because this is only a guide of who pitches twice.  I can only show you the way, but you must walk it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week, my borderline fantasy starter post was nominated for a Clio.  Lost to Draper, but what else is new?  Drunks get all the breaks.  Just being nominated was a thrill.  My line for last week was:  2.17 ERA in 108 IP (that’s only 26 earned runs, you’re welcome).  The WHIP was 1.19 with 7 Wins and 71 Ks.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are in no particular order.  Also, in the final month of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, September 3rd

Fausto Carmona – I’m not a fan of Carmona, but he gets the French in Safeco, talk about an easy victory.  French may just start pitching for the Indians halfway through the game.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Verducci Effect as explained by Amerigo Verducci, “Pitchers generally feel the effects of abusive increases in workload the next year, not the season in which they were pushed.  That’s a no amore!”  I believe Amerigo’s cousin in the States, Tom, leaves off the last line when he’s describing it.  So to avoid this, clubs shutdown or skip young pitchers (this applies to those 25 years old and younger).  In fantasy baseball, lots of championships are won in September, H2H and otherwise.  If you have rookie pitchers, it’s imperative — ooh, strong word — that you pay attention to which pitchers are going to be shutdown or skipped.  Anyway, here’s a list of some pitchers who may be shutdown in September:

Mat Latos – I’m positive if they clinch early, Latos will be done for the regular season.  Then again, Latos was on Amerigo’s list last year and he’s doing a’ight.  I say pitch him an extra 200 innings this year and he’ll have a zero ERA in 2011.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The deadline is here. Nobody has any money, but want top starting talent. Huh? Whatever happened to, you have to spend money to make money? Several big deals are coming. Haren and Oswalt top most teams wish lists. As I sat at the Yankee game on Friday, dancing in the rain(literally), I realized that you need two people to do the Kid N Play dance.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chris Tillman will start Saturday for the Orioles.  He’s yet another prospiñata for the Orioles.  They’re fun to play with until they get the stuffing beat out of them by the Yanks, Sawx, Rays or Blue Ks.  Before picking up Tillman, do me one favor.  Ask Matusz’s owners how the experience has been owning him.  Though since they’re probably your competition they may lie to you.  Those bastards!  Maybe you can ask Matusz yourself since he’s probably on your waivers.  Can Tillman be lights out?  I suppose.  Is he worth a flier in 12 team leagues?  Eh, if expectations are in check.  You should proceed with caution.  Or you can pull the ol’ “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick with Tillman.  Let me explain the unfortunately named “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick.  You grab Tillman off waivers, then the next day you drop him so someone (<– the sucker) uses their waiver claim to get roofied.  Ah, yes.  That stings.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Frank Mata – Will Ohman seems to be the leading candidate for saves, but Mata’s a dark horse for saves (that’s not racist).  He was the closer in Triple-A Norfolk, which is only slightly below the Orioles in the ESPN power rankings.  I don’t think the O’s will/should throw Mata right into the fire, but they did that with Alfredo Simon, so there’s that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?