When Ike Davis told reporters,”Gag me with a spoon,” red flags were raised. Why was he talking like he grew up in Reseda? It wasn’t the dreaded Valley Fever, was it? Like, oh my god, it might be. Valley Fever, from what I gathered from Google, WebMD and other non-reliable sources, could knock Davis out a week, two weeks, a month, a year or for his career. Yes, there’s a lot of space between best and worst case scenario. Maybe you remember Conor Jackson got Valley Fever and pulled a Kotchman for a year. The kicker for me is the Mets trainers scare the shizz out of me. They once diagnosed Casey Stengel with the flu and he had been dead for seven years. Right now, the Mets are saying it shouldn’t be more than a week for Ike. I’m not moving him down my rankings yet, but if you’re drafting right now, I’d be very cautious. Anyway, here’s some more news going on in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Corey Hart – Had knee swelling and went for an MRI. When the trainer told Ron Roenicke Hart’s issue, he said, “Corey swelling,” and Ron said, “Donna Martin graduates.” The MRI said (figuratively) Hart needs arthroscopic surgery and will miss the start of the season. I’d be surprised if we see him at full speed before the third week of April. Figure, four weeks to recoup and at least one week to go on assignment. It’s a pretty big blow for Corey Hart and everyone that likes to wear sunglasses at night. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the last installment of the grading process, we have to look at the bad – those guys I, Albert Lang, was totally wrong about. As always, in the comments, feel free to beat your chest about who you were high on relative to the rest of fantasy baseball players! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday heads to the DL with a quadriceps injury. C’mon, Mantle played with no knees for ten years! Have a scotch and get in the lineup! John Jay should see time while Holliday recoups. Worth owning in 12 team leagues and could make a decent sub while Holliday’s out. That’s not to say he could make a decent hoagie. Different things. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kyle McClellan – Out for at least a couple of weeks with a hip flexor strain. Or it’s hip to be strained, if you’re a kid of the 80′s. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Danny Duffy is much better than Stan Stuffy. Or Brian Bruffy. Now Gerry Guffy, well, he’s another story. Stephen literally just went over his Danny Duffy fantasy. He wrote it in pink highlighter while having cornrows put in his hair. Oh, Stephen. So what can we expect of The Duffman? Maybe just a spot start. Though when the Royals announced it was only a spot start they did wink, wink, nudge, nudge the Royals beat reporter. His stuff/numbers have been dynamite this year. The Royals should just keep him in the rotation. I mean, who are they rushing to get back to in this rotation? Jeff Francis? Vin Mazzaro? Nadir Bupkis? No, blech and belch. I’d grab Duffy in AL-Only and very deep mixed leagues then wait to see if he stays in the rotation. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Guerrier – Just when you thought you had the Dodgers bullpen figured out, Don Mattingly bats his long, beautiful eyelashes and brings Guerrier on for the save. How many closers do the Dodgers have now? I don’t know, but more the Guerrier! What’s that circling above Dodgers Stadium? Oh my God, it’s save vultures! Don’t you dare peck at Vin Scully! He’s a national treasure! I think everyone knows how I feel about Padilla. I think he’s crizz to the ap. He’s not an effective closer. Guerrier, actually, can be. That still means to get Guerrier to five saves on the year in the City of Angels he needs a wing and a prayer. (Pun point!) But I would grab Guerrier if I had room and really needed saves. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey, Fantasy Baseball King here. In “Fire and Ice,” I’ll analyze the past 2 weeks’ performances, and using my best combination of statistical analysis, baseball knowledge, charm, and pure crystal ball wizadry provide you with a plan of action for the coming week. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Someone defrost Ted Williams’ head, Jed Lowrie is hitting .516. If Mickey Rooney were playing the part of Dice-K, he’d say Jed is so Lovrie. That’s if we can pull Rooney away from pooping in your neighbor’s chimney. Right now, Lowrie is seasoning up fantasy steaks something delicious, but can this continue? No, of course not. Can he hit .280 with 10 homers? Sure. Can he get to 15 homers? Is the moon made of green cheese? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some rejected titles for this post were, “Adam’s Appendix Is Dunn,” “Dunn’s Appendix Chooses Worst Of Three Outcomes,” and “Dunn Develops Killer App.” First Holliday, now Adam Dunn with a busted appendix. I heard if the doctor gets cold during the surgery, he’s going to snuggle inside Dunn like Luke did with his tauntaun. Big Donkey only needs 5 days to heal because he already had an axe scar in that area they could re-use. The turnaround time is so quick now on these surgeries that you have to wonder why it took the Twins so many years to remove their appendix (Nick Punto). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Quentin – 4-for-6, 3 RBIs, 2 Runs and his 2nd homer. He’s now hitting .500 on the year. If he can stay healthy, he can have a huge year. Though that if is the size of Dunn’s appendix. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Almost a 11 K/9 in the minors is, uh, Mike Minor. He major, Kanye. I hope Roberto Kelly doesn’t come back to visit the Braves because when R. Kelly sees a minor, urine trouble! So should you play some Gary Glitter if you’re lusting after this Minor? In 118 2/3 IP this year, he has 144 Ks and 44 walks. Hello, beautiful. Want me to continue? Of course you do. You’re greedy. In Triple-A through five starts, his ERA is 1.99 while rocking a .171 BAA. He probably only has around 7 starts left in his arm this year before the Braves shut him down, but that’s all right, no one has many starts left. Minor’s a must grab in NL-Only and keepers. In mixed leagues, I’d grab him for his first start vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In a year where umpires like Joe West and Bill Hohn are doing all they can to show they are far from perfect, Jim Joyce went one step further by having his imperfection blow someone else’s perfection. It’s like that O. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Rolen went 2-for-4 as he hit his 3rd homer in the last week. Now has 11 homers and 30 RBIs. I’d say he’s in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not. He almost was then I thought about what I would write about him. I didn’t want to write about how I wasn’t sure what to write about him. I figured that was pointless. Wait… Oh. Soooo, Rolen will hit 25 homers this year with a decent average and RBIs or he’ll get hurt and play only 100 games. I’m thinking the latter happens, but I’d own him if I needed power for a chance at the former. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks. Please, blog, may I have some more?