In just his first full week back J.D. Martinez topped the charts in week 7 coming in with 40 points and doing what he does best, hit dongs. I freaking sound like Casey Kasem with that opening line. Is he still doing top 40 countdowns? I haven’t heard him in quite some time. But then again I pretty much only listen to the Howard Stern Show. En route to those 40 points, J.D. smacked four home runs, drove in nine and walked ten times. Owners that have been stashing him until now must be pretty happy with themselves. Have yourself a shot of JD! Jake Lamb fell one point short of Martinez with 39.

The winner for week 7 is the contestant that picked Nelson Cruz (21 points), Corey Seager (23 points) and Jose Bautista (33 points). That person is Peter guigli with a total of 77 points. Coming in at second on the charts was Smallwine who scored 76 points by picking Nelson Cruz (21), J.D. Martinez (40) and Buster Posey (15). With both selecting Cruz, it came down to Seager and Joey Bats versus J.D. and Posey, with just one point separating them.

Here are the top-5 from Week 7:

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Avisail Garcia – Sell, sell, and sell. I’m sure it’s been used before, but for the purposes of this post his name should be Avisell Garcia. Even if we buy into to his breakout, he’s producing at a level too high to sustain. He’s so high he’s in Tim Lincecum territory. Last year he had a points per plate appearance of 0.428 and over the last three seasons it’s 0.422. This year, however, it’s 0.78. That’s a significant jump. Last year Mike Trout finished the season with a 0.797. Do you really believe that Garcia can put up Trout-like numbers over the course of a full season? Like I said, Avi-SELL.

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Mookie Betts led all hitters in week 6 with 45 points. Unfortunately, if you placed your bets on Betts, then you earned yourself 0 zero points since he is an Unpickable. Next was Buster Posey with 37 points. Unfortunately no one picked Buster. After Posey was Carlos Correa who scored 36 points. Again no one picked Correa. As it turns out no one picked the top 22 highest scoring batters. The first batter that was actually selected in week 6’s contest was Mark Reynolds who scored 24 points. So the question remains, who deserves this week’s honors, Buster Posey or Mark Reynolds? How about Buster Reynolds?

It’s not Posey’s fault that no one picked him. Last week the San Francisco backstop hit four home runs en route to his 37 point performance. He now has 7 homers on the season is on pace for a career high 27. With 102 points on the season, Buster is once again leading the way at the catcher position. Surprise, surprise!

Week 6 brings us our first tie of the year. There was actually a three-way tie for first place. Who doesn’t love a good three-way! With 57 points, DonSlaughtOnslaught, Thor da Man and MattH didn’t exactly light up the high scorers list. But there can be only one winner. And that winner is the contestant that picked Ian Desmond (15 points), Mark Reynolds (24 points) and Cody Bellinger (18 points). That contestant is Thor da Man. For those unfamiliar with the rules, a tie goes to the runner. I mean a tie goes to the contestant that submits his/her entry first.

Here are the top 5 from Week 6:

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Yesterday, on the holiest of Hallmark-created holidays and celebrated most of all by Bill Hall, mothers from all different backgrounds came together to put up their feet, sip mimosas and talk about how “The Handmaid’s Tale” could totally happen now with Trump.  I’d contend that Hallmark should get a little credit for women’s rights.  Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Secretary’s Day, “Buy a card just because you love her” Day… Before this, it was, “Do you wanna make this pelt I skinned into a rug or a sweater for little Kevin?  What?  You’re tired from churning butter?  Okay, you can have the afternoon after you make beef and kidney pie.”  In honor of Mother’s Day, one of the great lovers of women (who are handcuffed to his bedpost), Aroldis Chapman was diagnosed with rotator cuff inflammation, and will be sidelined for a month.  If Dellin Betances is available in your league, can I get into your league?  If there’s an entry fee, all the better.  You pay it, and we’ll split the cash prizes.  I even grabbed Tyler Clippard in one league just in case Betances gets all Cuddle Boy on us.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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It was actually Billy Hamilton that led all batters in week 5 with 47 points, but since no one picked him, I’m moving down the list. Next up is Cody Bellinger who swatted 40 points. Guess what. No one picked him either. The first batter on the list to be picked was Matt Carpenter, but since he finished fifth I just don’t feel like he deserves to be highlighted. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I’m giving the honor to Bellinger. In 21 at bats he had 9 hits, including three home runs, and 12 RBIs. In addition, Adrian Gonzalez gave him the middle finger 37 times. Once again, only a stat you can get from us fine folk here at Razzball.

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All judging aside, Yankees’ right fielder, Aaron Judge, is loudly (opposite of quietly) making a name for himself. As if his 6’7″, 282 pound frame wasn’t enough to garner attention, how about a league leading twelve home runs in just 99 plate appearances. Having played in all but one game this season, Judge has granted his owners 107 fantasy points in 24 games. During that span he has 26 hits, 12 of which were long balls. That sounds like the name of a porn starring six old men. While Aaron also has 24 strikeouts, he is still sporting a .313 batting average. Personally I have a soft spot for Yankees right fielders as Big Dave Winfield is my favorite player of all time. Well it seems the Yankees have found an even bigger dude to man right field. I think Judge might project to Winfield-like stats, and considering he was a 12-time MLB All-Star, that’s a considerable comparison. He should be owned everywhere. I realize that’s a obvious Captain Obvious statement, but his ADP was greater than 200, so he was likely available for the pickings in most leagues earlier in the season.

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As the old expression goes, you can count on three things in life, death, taxes, and Mets pitchers ruining your week/month/season with an injury of some sort. This is a slight update on the late 80’s iteration of this expression, death, taxes, and Mets pitchers at a snowstorm. If you’re a Noah Syndergaard owner you might want to hit up Doc’s medicine man, because the mighty righty was skipped in the rotation due to a sore bicep. Apparently curls are for the girls, and the DL too. Seriously how does Bartolo stay healthy eating like Kristie Alley on a bender, while Thor spends his free time living like Schwarzenegger in the beginning of Twins? Nothing makes sense, I’m writing the Notes! Riddle me this, Does that mean Colon was birthed from his poop? Or is it the other way around. Yes, I was an odd child. As for Thor, and his right arm, he’s headed for an MRI today. After first experiencing pain between bullpen sessions, and playing catch. He said he “felt great” playing catch, two things, “who doesn’t feel great playing catch?” and as far as I know “felt great” doesn’t mean I couldn’t lift my arm above my shoulder. But Syndergaard is from Texas and a Viking, so he may speak a different language. Oh, yeah, that’s not a joke. He actually said I “felt great playing catch”, but his bicep “stiffens up when it gets cold”. Funny, mine does the opposite when it gets cold. The worst part is that gem of a comment was followed with “I couldn’t really lift my arm above my shoulder at that point”. However, the Mets and Terry Collins assure us that Thor isn’t hurt. In fact, he showed up to the park ready to pitch! But old cautious Terry pulled the plug, because as he so eloquently put it, “when you are talking about anything that runs into the shoulder to where he changes his delivery and other things happen.” Damn, the man has the vocabulary of Sling Blade! Not going to lie, I’m intrigued about these “other things” happening in Syndergaard’s bicep. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Early season DFS is tough.  DFS on the regular isn’t easy, but add in the uncertainty of playing time, crazy weather, early slumps, offseason adjustments, new teams, new teammates and there are a lot of extra factors.  It’s for this reason I tend to ease myself into the DFS waters.  I take it pretty slow in April while we let some data collect.  When May hits we can start ramping it up and really be ripping come June.  We’ve got three weeks worth of data to work with so far and Ivan Nova ($15,600) has been fantastic.  The strikeouts have been a bit lacking but it’s hard to quibble with a 2.25 ERA and a sub 1.00 WHIP.  If you are prone to quibbling, I’d point out that Nova is smack dab in the middle of the road for pricing today, allowing you to afford those sweet Coors bats we all crave.  Plus, I mean, come on, #RevengeGame, #EnoughSaid.

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There’s no denying that Madison Bumgarner works hard. Well, he plays even harder. So it should have come as no surprise when news broke that the San Francisco ace was placed on the disabled list after injuring his left shoulder in a dirt bike accident. Wait. You were doing WHAT? But why!? You can’t expect Madison to get his kicks doing regular pleb things like playing Xbox or frisbee golf, it’s gotta be EXTREME. Regardless, this is a huge blow for Giants fans and Bumgarner owners alike. Madison is sporting a 3.00 ERA, 1.07 WHIP and 28/4 K/BB rate through four starts and early reports suggest he is set to miss over two months. Bummer. But honestly, what do you want from the guy? For him to not participate in dangerous extreme sports on his days off? I mean, come on, his hands were tied. Ty Blach is set to fill in the interim. Blach and his just 21.2 innings of major league experience. Blach is a ground ball pitcher with just a 13.4% strikeout rate, so he’s probably not the answer to your Bumgarner woes. More like, Ty Blech, right? Lol. He is slated to take on the Dodgers next week, but if you’re feeling dangerous you’d likely be better off dirt biking than picking up Ty Blach outside of deep NL-Only leagues. Here’s hoping at the very least Bumgarner got some sick air.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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28.4, 12.2, 21.4, 34.1, 24.9, 43.6, 28.7, 31.4. What Power Forward game log is this? You have a 7x day where he puts up 20 points and 15 rebounds, a day where he flopped hard because he got in foul trouble, and then a lot of 4x and 5x scores. Wait, what’s that? It is the last 8 games of Eric Thames? That’s absurd. I’m not even saying he’s a great play simply because of his last 8 games, but Adam Wainwright’s a decent innings muncher, who is losing the ability to get ground balls so Thames is in play again, even at his elevated price. Are we at the point where Thames is always in play because he’s a good hitter who obliterated the KBO and will spend 2017 obliterating major league pitching. I think the previous sentence answers your question. You might be asking where does Eric Thames rank in the greatest hitting seasons ever with a minimum 50 PAs? And I would tell you that it’s not first, it’s actually 2nd. Yes, Eric Thames 281 wRC+ ranks 2nd. That’s because Freddie Freeman this year has a 282. It helps when you decide that outs really aren’t your thing for 3 games. I’m also sure you are wondering who’s 3rd, and I will tell you that this year Bryce Harper is 3rd at 256. We’ve had some insane starts this year, but only one of them is making crotchety old pitching coaches and grumpy veteran pitchers subtly hint “things.”

On to the picks as soon as Freddie Freeman makes an out…wait, that may be a while…I’ll just do the picks now…

Please, blog, may I have some more?