Fantasy Baseball Advice

Four months ago, a torn tendon behind his right knee shut Jose Reyes down for the entire season.  That’s the good news.  In an attempt to return to a team that has been out of the playoff picture since July, Reyes tore his hamstring this week as he ran the bases.  His season is finally, completely, officially over.  Sure, it wouldn’t been nice to see him steal 65 bases and for the Mets to win 25 and a half games in the last three days of the season, but maybe trying to get him back for the last weekend of the season wasn’t the best idea.  Now his 2010 is going to be of the “Is he finally healthy?” variety rather than the “He’s finally healthy” variety.  Obviously more will be known as we get closer to next season.  I’m sure February Grey is preparing his status report as we speak.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 0 ER, 16 Ks.  Probably should’ve been the lead today, but I felt like ranting on the Mets.  You’ll forgive me.  Take out your Benihana Buddhas and pray that next March your leaguemates look at Nolasco’s 5.06 ERA and pass on him.   Then flip a shrimp tail into your hat.

Brendan Donnelly – Got the save by picking off a runner.  Leo Nunez probably would’ve been fine if it wasn’t for some porous defense behind him.

Javier Vazquez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Extremely hard to argue with the season Vazquez had.  I mean, you can argue with it, but you’d be screaming at a bunch of stats on a piece of paper and that’s just silly.

Charlie Morton – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks.  A four run lead is obviously more comfortable than an 11-1 lead that John Russell yanked Zach Duke from the other day.  When you figure it out, let me know because I’m baffled.

Ryan Doumit – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs, 3 Runs and a HR yesterday in the nightcap.  His nightcap had stripes and a little fuzzy ball on the end of it.

Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners.  Ricciardi can now trade Halladay for the Taj Mahal.

Bronson Arroyo – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.   On July 28th, he had a 5.17 ERA.  He now has a 3.84.  August and September, he had a combined 2.00 ERA.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-4 with a steal yesterday.  He has 8 homers and 10 steals in 38 games.  Charades time!  I’m making a tree shape… Has fronds… Palm! Right!  Sideshow Bob! No, wait a second.  I’m making a diving motion near the palm tree… We’re in a desert…  Mirage! Yes!  That’s Drew Stubbs.  Stubbs is the Mirage casino where Siegfried and Roy used to perform? No.  Forget it.

Justin Masterson – 9 IP, 1 ER, 12 Ks.  Wow, were there any poor pitching performances yesterday?  (This is what you get when teams don’t play their first-stringers.  This is also why H2H is kinda lacking.)

Carl Pavano – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Ah, yes.  There’s a poor performance.  Mussina always said Pavano’s got no heart.

Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-3 as he hit his 31st homer yesterday.  He has an outside chance at .300.  Incredible.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-5 with a homer.  He has 270 at-bats, 13 homers and 16 steals.  In 300 at-bats, Beltran has 10 homers and 11 steals.

Hiroki Kuroda – Scratched from Saturday’s start.  Kershaw will fill in for him.  Should be the Rockies B lineup, may not be a bad start to gamble on.

Corey Hart – Probably done for the year with two fractured fingers.  No word if he hurt himself by bumping into something while wearing his stupid sunglasses at night.

Casey McGehee – 2-for-5, HR yesterday.  He has 16 homers in 345 at-bats.  He’ll have 2nd base eligibility next year.  Cust kayin’.

B.J. Upton – Two steals yesterday.  No one’s going to argue that the .238 average is a travesty, but he has 10 homers and 41 steals in only 140 games.  I’m buying for next year.

Clayton Richard – 7 IP, 0 ER.  C’mon, you’re digging the HodgePadres just a bit, right?

Brad Penny – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  When I say NL, you say West.  NL… West… NL… West…  You got it.

Brandon Morrow – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit.  Ah, well, here’s to him being a sleeper again next year I guess.

Adam Moore – Hit his first homer of his career.  He’s considered by many as the Mariners catcher of the future.  So that means he’ll diddle himself in the minors for three years, get called up, be given no real opportunity then get sent away in a deal with the Pirates for some futility infielder.

Jamie Moyer – Out for the season/playoffs with torn muscles in his groin and abdomen.  I told you to let the kids move the sofa!

Joba Chamberlain – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Talk about someone who fantasy owners will have no idea what to do with next year.

J.R. Towles – 2 HRs yesterday.  About 18 months too late for most.

Fausto Carmona – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  As I was skimming the boxscores to do this roundup, I saw F. Carmona and I was like, “You got that right ESPN!”

Tim Lincecum missed yesterday’s start vs. the Padres (there goes that 14 K start) and gave way to the Giants big-time rookie pitching prospect, Madison Bumgarner.  Lincecum should be back by this weekend.  A detailed Madison Bumgarner outlook can be found where it says, “Madison Bumgarner outlook.”  (Yeah, still haven’t figured out how to naturally link to something.  I feel like Buzz Bissinger.  Bleh!  What are these things you call links?  Bleh! Actually, that sounds more like The Count.)  So one in for Mad-Bum, and no harm done.  5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks.  I think he can supplant Joe Martinez in the rotation.  He sure as heckfire has a better name… Go with Jose at least, geez.  Bumgarner will have value in all leagues down the stretch if he has a rotation spot.  He’s risky, but in the NL West and with his stuff, well worth a look in mixed leagues.  In keepers, pursue him aggressively.  He’s real and he’s spectacular.  I expect he’ll take the David Price route next year.  Start in the minors, then get the call in June.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Lidge – Prior to getting removed from a save situation for Madson, Manuel said that Lidge will remain the Phils closer.  HA!!!  Sorry.  Lidge hasn’t been a closer in three months.  Are they freakin’ kidding me?  Lidge is pitching like he’s wearing contacts that bear Pujols’s face.  Please, someone tie Lidge to a bed and break his ankles to put him out of his misery.

Alex Gordon – He returns from his Triple-A stint.  A lot has been made of his trip to the minors.  (Because of the minors stint, he’ll be under contract through 2013.)  People are saying the Royals pulled a low move to delay free agency.  Um, and Gordon’s done something to stay in the majors?  At this rate, he may not be a major leaguer by 2013.  Though, February Grey still will probably find a way to talk him up for next year.

Pedro Martinez – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Not great vs. the Nats, but I would’ve taken it over the roofie-ing I took from Carlos Torres.  Don’t worry, I’ll get to that.

Raul Ibanez – 3-for-4 with 2 HRs yesterday.  I swear, after three months of homer sobriety from Ibanez, I was a twitch away from pulling the trigger on him.  Now, he’s hot.  Someone was looking out for me.  They obviously didn’t care enough to warn me about Carlos Torres.  Fantasy baseball, because every day stress is not enough.

Carlos Torres – 2/3 IP, 5 ER vs. the A’s.  I hate you, Carlos Torres.  I swore off rookie pitchers earlier this year because of a start by Hochevar vs. the A’s.  Why do the A’s hate me?  Someone, help!  I was roofied and I’m hemorrhaging from the A’s.

Julio Borbon – 2 HRs yesterday and a steal.  Someone’s been talking to Drew Stubbs.

Elvis Andrus – 2 steals yesterday.  If you need steals, maybe he’s running now, cause he hadn’t been.

Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 2 ER.  Kazaam!

Nick Swisher – 2 HRs yesterday.  Hitting over .300 in the last seven games with 3 homers.

Evan Longoria – Has 5 homers in the last 8 games and is hitting near .500 in his last seven games.  H2H teams rostering Longoria tip their caps.

Garrett Jones – Hit his 19th homer yesterday.  If I didn’t see it myself, I wouldn’t have believed it, but after Robot Jones hit his homer, he elevated five inches off the ground to allow wheels to slide out from his cleats and he rolled around the bases.

Dustin Pedroia – This might be Scrappy Doo’s first appearance in a daily roundup this year.  Well, anyway, he hit two homers yesterday against the Orioles’ Double-A pitching.

Felix Pie – 0-for-3, and 2 for his last 13.  I think he’s back to being lame.

Carlos Beltran – Returned with a 1-for-4.  Now he has three weeks to hit 35 homers and steal 20 bases.  Or if he just outproduced Angel Pagan, that would be nice, too.

Cameron Maybin – You’re going to hear about every positive thing he does until next year.  Yesterday, he hit a homer.

Nate McLouth – Hit his 2nd homer since he returned.  This is a hunch, but I think he realizes he has three weeks to make his season’s stats look somewhat palatable.

Manny Parra – Left the game with neck spasms.  Manny, you don’t watch the ball off the bat.  That’s how you get a crick in your neck.

Mat Gamel – Was recalled.  But McGehee’s got the corner locked down like Marlo Stanfield.

Corey Hart – Is back from the DL.  He says he wants to steal bases.  I have no idea if he’s lying.  I couldn’t see his eyes through his sunglasses.

Chris Davis – 3-for-4 with a HR in yesterday’s nightcap.  In the, uh, daycap he went 0-for-5.

Michael Brantley – He’s stealing bases.  You know you wanna.  Go ahead, pick him up.

Franklin Gutierrez – Hit his 16th homer yesterday.  The Big FraGu’s having a better year than Carlos Beltran, Grady Sizemore and Josh Hamilton.  Cust kayin’.

Matt Murton – Called up by the Rockies.  Score this a victory for the National Association for the Advancement of Gingy People.  But the NAAGP won’t rest until Murton gets playing time, so there will be a lot of late nights for them.

J.A. Happ – His strained oblique is still vaguely hurting and will miss another start.

Jeff Baker – The pride of Bad Kissingen, West Germany went 3-for-4 yesterday as he hits near .400 in the last week.

Jake Fox – Piniella hates him.  Bobby Scales?  Sam Fuld?  They sound like the bassist and drummer for the Cubs’ heavy metal band, Quite The Riot.

Corey Hart is out for up to a month with an appendectomy.  My college roommate had an appendectomy and he returned from the hospital in 24 hours and back to drinking Olde E forties with me by Friday, which is what we called Tuesday.  Bill Hall will be recalled (Score one for NL pitchers) and Frank Catalanotto will see time in right field (score one for the Catalanottos).  Good thing the Brewers traded for Gerut.  Who?  Hey, you sound like Ken Macha!  I expect the Hart will go on in September.  If he gives you his biggest month of the season then, it’ll be about 4 homers and 4 steals for the month.  Whoopie!  If Hart’s still on your team, now’s as good a time as any to cut him, unless you have DL room.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ian Kinsler – Just hit the DL.  Usually he doesn’t turn into a pumpkin for another twenty games.  Kinsler was in Friday’s Buy/Sell.  Betcha can guess which side of the slash he fell on.

Neftali Feliz – Called up to come out of the bullpen.  Yes, he’s flippin’ awesome.  I know.  But out of the bullpen?  Eh.  If your league’s deep enough, I guess I could see it, but I’m not running out to grab him.

Frank Francisco – Activated and set up C.J. Wilson, who got the save.  Should be about a week until Francisco’s the closer again.  And about a week and a half until he’s back on the DL.

Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 2 ER and his 10th win.  Incredible.  Three of my starters together don’t have 10 wins and this schmohawk does.  Feldman who has 58 Ks in 119 2/3 innings.  I hate wins.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 2 HRs in his last three games.  If it’s a hot streak, it’s long overdue.

Ian Snell – 6 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks, 6 baserunners.  Got the start for the M’s vs. the Rangers.  I don’t mind a pickup of Snell in 12 team leagues, but he gets the Rays then the Yanks in his next two starts.

Chad Billingsley – Left the game with a cramp.  Aw, it’s that time of the month.  He should be ready for his next start.

Casey Blake – Had problems swinging a bat during batting practice, now he’s headed for X-rays on his hand.  Coulda called me, I own X-ray glasses.  Thank you, back of a comic book.

Matt Kemp – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs with a homer from the five hole.  This was his first homer of the year while batting above the 6th spot. (<–Torre supplied that info.)

Scott Downs – To the DL.  What I don’t get is why was Downs the closer anyway?  It’s not like he has some absurd contract cough B.J. Ryan cough.  Jason Frasor takes over the job he should’ve had anyway.  I’d own Frasor in any league.

Scott Rolen – Beaned on the helmet by a pitch.  Phillies fans can’t believe it took that long for the voodoo doll work.  Rolen should be fine.  Phew…  The Reds playoff hopes are counting on him going 120/50/120/.450 and pitching 30 no-hitters in the last two months.

Drew Sutton – 2-for-5, has SS eligibility and 15/15 type appeal.  Do I think he can reach those numbers?  I have my doubts.  But Dusty hit him leadoff all weekend and Dusty is CRAZY enough to keep him there.  Worth a flier in NL-Only leagues, keeper and otherwise.  (Dusty gets crazy in caps, you shouldn’t have to ask.)

Jon Garland – 9 IP, 2 ER vs. Guess who.  The Mets.  C’mon, these are gimmes…  Kinda like starts vs. the Mets.

Miguel Montero – 3-for-5 as he hit cleanup.  Hinch, you don’t hit a catcher cleanup then platoon him with Chris Snyder.  I’m not sure why the D’Backs are forcing Snyder into the lineup every other day or so, but Miguel Montero’s value is taking a hit.  I’m sure Tonya Harding’s available (and cheap) if anyone wants to send her to the desert looking for Snyder.

Ty Wigginton – HR yesterday.  As I mentioned in Friday’s Buy/Sell, he goes from Mr. Wigginton to Dr. Donkowitz in August.  Why?  Beats the shizz out of me.

Ronnie Cedeno – HR yesterday with the Pirates.  All he needed was a change of scenary… And 120 MPH winds blowing out.

Elijah Dukes – Trouble’s back in the town called Malice.  Riggleman says Dukes will get the majority of starts and he should.  Definitely worth a flier in 12 team leagues and deeper.

James Shields – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Unfortunately, he pitched against Brian Bannister, who looked like his brother Bruce.  Would’ve been nice to get the win, but I was just happy to see Shields dominate.  Baby steps, Bob, baby steps.

Mark Buehrle – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Now that’s how you make a correction to your season stats.

Gordon Beckham – I was getting some shizz in our fantasy baseball forums for pushing people to pick up Beckham.  In July, he hit .330 with 3 homers and 3 steals.  That’s kinda good for a guy who has shortstop eligibility.

Asdrubal Cabrera – 7 for his last 17 with two homers.  A’la Cher from Clueless, “AS-drubal!”

Bud Norris – 7 IP, 5 Ks, 4 walks, 2 hits.  That’s the problem.  The walks.  I suppose I’d own him for his next start, but I don’t think he’s going to have a rotation spot for much longer and he’s still a rookie and liable to roofie you.

Kendry Morales – 2 HRs, 6 RBIs.  March Grey told you he was a sleeper.  (Please ignore June Grey that told you to Sell him.  June Grey was phoning it in from a methadone clinic.  It was a dark time.)

Jered Weaver – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 Ks.  Sure would be nice to see him throw a game where he doesn’t give up 4+ earned, but the 11 Ks vs. the Twins is pretty impressive.

Orlando Cabrera – 1-for-3, HR yesterday as he batted 2nd.  He hit near .400 in July. (Ted Williams, “Unfreeze me when you do it over an entire season.”)  I’m not a huge fan of a guy who has light power and diminishing speed, but you can probably do worse at SS.

Ricky Romero – 7 IP, 2 ER vs. the A’s was a nice matchup and, for the rest of the season, Romero has matchup potential, but I think the Jays will have to begin to limit his innings.

Casey McGehee – Well, lookie what the MI schmohawk cat dragged in.  McGehee hit 2 homers in the last four games and has been playing regularly at 3rd base.

Eugenio Velez – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs.  Not  sure why, but I have a special place in my heart for Velez.  Maybe because he’s a buck thirty soaking wet.  Potatoes to chips, Velez is hitting near .500 over the last week.

Cole Hamels – 5 IP, 6 ER.  Did you really just get out-pitched by Barry Zito?  For shamels.

Jake Fox – Of course he hit a homer yesterday, he started.   I’m not what you would call a person who gets involved.  I yell, “Hands free,” to people who are talking on their cellphone while they’re driving, but that’s about the extent of my community involvement.  But if I were, say, a person who takes action, I’d start a campaign to make Jake Fox the catcher.

Victor Martinez – 5-for-6, 4 RBIs as the Red Sox won 18-10.  Without V-Mart, the Red Sox would’ve won 14-10.  Even the Yankees disapprovingly shook their heads mumbling, “Enough’s enough.”

David Ortiz – 0-for-5, 1 RBI.  Ticker Tease!

Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 7 ER.  When you’re working with a 14 run cushion… Well… You gave him a shot.  It just didn’t work out.  I’d let him figure it out on someone else’s team.

Melky Cabrera – Hit for the cycle yesterday.  The guy who took four minutes to design “Got Melky” t-shirts at Cafepress is ecstatic.

Ryan Garko was traded to the Aints for Scott Barnes, no relation to Priscilla.  Not sure why the Indians traded a cheap guy with 11 homers and a .285/.362/.464 line.  Maybe the Giants offered some trinkets to the Indians.  Besides his season line, Garko has been hot recently (.429 in his last seven games with two homers).  Pac Bell/AT&T/The Fridge That Sandoval Raids is not a hitter’s haven, but Garko should hit in the heart of the order and see every day playing time.  Definitely worth pursuing in NL-Only leagues and 12 team leagues, if you’re hurting at corner. The other name worth mentioning is Andy Marte, who was called up by the Indians yesterday.  In Triple-A this year, Marte has a .329/.366/.590 line with 17 homers in just under 300 ABs.  Not too long ago, Marte was a blue chip prospect in the minors.  But Marte’s middle name may as well be Prospect-Shmespect.  As in, show it in the majors, Prospect-Shmespect.  Marte may get that chance again, but outside of very deep mixed leagues (15+ teams) and AL-Only leagues, you need to take a wait and see approach.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Hamilton – Dropped to 7th in the order. We may need to start calling him Josh 20081stHalfilton.  Where’s Brokeback Hamilton?

Daric Barton – Headed to the DL.  I’ve already talked too much about this schmohawk.

Bronson Arroyo – The Yankees denied interest in Arroyo.  Nice neg.

Jonny Gomes – 2 HRs yesterday vs. two righties. Will be harder for Dusty to bungle The Gomes Situation™ with Dickerson on the DL.  Gomes should get the majority of starts… Oh, who am I kidding, Dusty will still find a way.

Tommy Hunter – 7 IP, 1 ER.  He could’ve pitched a shutout and I’d be saying the same thing here.  Don’t go near him.  His minor league stats are yawnstipating.  He will leave you crying in the corner of your cubicle.

Billy Butler – 5-for-5, Voice from the future, “Next year Grey will be excited about him in the preseason.”

James Shields – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  He’s gonna need a freakin’ shield if I ever run into him on the street.  Can’t start him away, can’t start him at home… How does he have a 3.87 ERA on the year?  When did he ever pitch good?  I don’t remember that.  Yesterday, I said to Rudy over IM, “Shields is getting rocked again. What else is knew (sic)?”  Rudy, “He usually waits until the 6th or 7th inning.”

Pat Burrell – HR yesterday.  Hasn’t gotten hot like I would’ve thought, but there’s still time.

Nick Swisher – 2 HRs.  He dedicated both homers to his fallen comrades (his sideburns).

Robinson Cano – I never watch the Yankees because everyone knows about them and ESPN does a fine job of covering every one of their moves/non-moves/possible moves, but I watched them yesterday (cause of freakin’ Shields).  Anyway, Cano tried to steal 2nd.  He was out by five steps.  I have a new contest for next year’s All-Star game festivities, Guys Who Look Fast But Are Remarkably Slow Race Against Guys Who Look Slow But Are Fast.  First heat, Cano vs. Pablo Sandoval.  Like you wouldn’t watch this.

Randy Wolf – 6 IP, 2 ER.  Of course he got no run support.  Unlucky like a Wolf.

Josh Beckett – 7 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks and his 12th win.  My AL Cy Young prediction doesn’t look too bad so far.  Will depend on how much imagination capturing Greinke’s still doing.

Adam LaRoche – 2-for-4, with two half-homers.  Has now started three days in a row.  Meanwhile, Lowell trimmed his goatee.

Everth Cabrera – HR yesterday, while Kyle Blanks stole a base.  That was nice of Homer Bailey to let Everth hit from second and give Blanks a 59 foot lead off first.

Homer Bailey – 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  He’s trying to sucker you in.  Don’t fall for it.

Ryan Zimmerman – HR yesterday.  Might be finally getting hot again.  Took about 2 months.  Maybe it was my snide comparison of him to Kouzmanoff yesterday (who also homered).

Josh Willingham – Two grand slams yesterday and 4 homers in the last 7 games. When they’re hot, and this even goes for Nationals players, they’re worth owning everywhere.  BTW, with 8 RBIs yesterday, guess how many RBIs Willingham has on the season?  39.  He recorded a fourth of his RBI total in one game… In almost August.  That’s incredible, and not the good kind of incredible.

Garrett Atkins – Started at first, and since Helton usually bats third, Atkins batted third.  Jim Tracy must be a disciple of Leyland.

Corey Hart – He gets sizzling.  Why do I tell you this?  Because he has two homers in the past two games.

Jeff Francoeur – 3 homers and batting .429 in the last seven games.  I fully expect him to fall on his face again, but maybe Frenchy’s not toast.

Alfonso Soriano – Grand slam yesterday.  He also gets scalding hot for extended periods of time.  Or see Hart, Corey, or two above.

Carlos Lee – And another guy who’s finally picking up the pace with 3 homers in his last 7 games.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  He deserved more offense.  He also deserves the award for Even His Owners Can’t Believe He Has a 2.65 ERA.

Kendry Morales – 2 HRs yesterday.  As someone in the comments pointed out the other day, April Grey had Kendry as a sleeper, July Grey had Kendry as a Sell.  April Grey says to July Grey, “You’re a moron.”

Brian Fuentes – 4 earned and no outs recorded.  Ow…  Wait, what?  Ouch…

Gordon Beckham – Now has two homers in the past two games.  C’mon, Ozzie, move him up in the order!

Garrett Jones – When I saw he had one RBI, I thought for sure he hit a homer and Yahoo just hadn’t scored it.  Alas…

Tim Lincecum – 9 IP, 0 ER, 15 Ks.  He would’ve had 18 Ks, but Adam LaRoche was in Boston.

Adam Lind – The Jays scored 11 runs, Lind went 0-for-4 — Ticker Tease!

Nolan Reimold – 2-for-3 as he stole his sixth base yesterday.  I get it, Michael Bourn is Fred Savage and he’s Judge Reimold.

So how was your weekend?  Mine included news that Jake Peavy could be out for as long as 12 weeks with a tear in his ankle.  Could’ve been worse, he could’ve hurt his ankle kicking me in the groin.  He was fitted for a cast the other day.  I’d like to sign his cast, “But your FIP’s a 3.00!”  Wasn’t it the flu stopping him from pitching last week?  What’s this, the influenzankle?  That’s some Nomar shizz right there.  As of right now, I’ve DL’d Peavy in all leagues where I own him, hoping for news that he’ll only be out the shortest possible time of 4 weeks or I’ll drop him if news comes out that he will miss the rest of the season.  Now begins the part of our program where I jump from matchup to matchup waiting for someone to stick.  Obviously it depends on the league, but, as of right now, I’m giving Dallas Braden a whirly-bird.  Braden gets the Dodgers and Padres this week.  If he’s good and his matchups are decent, I’ll hold him.  If not, I’ll move onto the schmohawk starter behind door number three.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Roy Halladay – His right groin is hurt.  He has two groins?!  The Blue Jays are hoping he can make his next start against the Nats.  I’m sure the Jays are not the only ones holding out hope.

Johan Santana – 3 IP, 9 ER.  Rumors are he prepped for this start with Livan Hernandez.

Mark Teixeira/Alex Rodriguez – Yanks scored 15 runs, these two went for 1-for-8 with one run scored.  Ticker Tease!

Brad Bergesen – Complete game, 2 ER.  Here’s one those guys I wouldn’t try and force onto my team just because Peavy was hurt.  Bergesen is just as likely to give up 5 in four innings next time out.

Derek Lowe – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Didn’t I just say he was about as reliable as they get?  Lowe obviously let my praise go to his head.  This start was so egregious, I’d think about sitting him next time out.

David Ross – Hit two homers yesterday.  Is it me or does it feel like David Ross has more two homer games than one home run games?

Yunel Escobar – Was pulled from the game after he botched a rundown.  After the game, Bobby Cox said, “Grrr.”

Ty Wigginton – 2 HRs yesterday.  Deep league spoiler alert!  Wigginton gets crazy hot at least once a year.  Maybe this is the start of one of those streaks.  He isn’t guaranteed playing time, so don’t try and jam him into your lineup in 12 team leagues just yet.

J.A. Happ – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Told you to loss him after his previous start.

Rocco Baldelli/Nick Green/Josh Beckett – All homered yesterday for the Sawx.  If you picked them in some kind of depraved, baseball home run challenge trifecta, you deserve the loot.

Corey Hart – 2 HRs yesterday.  Now 6 for his last 12 with two homers and one steal.  Helped that this was a day game, but he was still wearing his sunglasses.

Casey McGehee – HR yesterday.  Now 9 for his last 16 and occasionally batting leadoff for the Brewers.  He has no speed, but some light power.  Think 10 homers.

Miguel Olivo – 4 homers in his last 6 games.  He’s a liability on average, but while he’s hot it’s worth taking a flier for some pop.

Coco Crisp – Heads to the DL.  To take his place, the Royals called up Franken Berry.

Kosuke Fukudome – After batting .277 with one homer in May, he’s batting .135 in June with no homers and no steals.  On May 1st, I said to sell him.  Now, I’m saying why are you still holding him?

Jason Hammel – He was a one week flier to fill-in for Peavy last week.  He went 11 1/3 innings with 3 ER.  He gets the Pirates at home and the A’s in Oakland next so I’m going to press my luck.  Though I’m benching him for the Pirates game to avoid the whammy, then will start him against the A’s.

Chad Billingsley – 7 IP, 2 ER and his 9th win.  Oh, and he got stronger as the season went on last year.  Zoinks!

Nelson Cruz – On June 5th, I said, “…he’s just about at .300, that’s when the patented Cruz Stall takes over and he ends up back at .265 by June 20th.”  He’s at .278 and batting .200 in June.  Cust kayin’.

Frank Francisco – To the DL.  Is it me or does it seem like Frank² goes to the 15-day DL every 16th day?  C.J. Wilson will take over closing duties.  Or I should say he’ll continue closer duties.  Francisco is dealing with shoulder tendinitis, which is obviously not a great thing for a closer.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this is an ongoing issue for the rest of the season.  Obviously there’s safer closers out there than C.J. Wilson, but he could rack up some saves for the rest of the season.  SAGNOF!

James Shields – 6 1/3 4 ER.  Should’ve been a gimme today vs. the Nats.  Now sits at a 3.52 ERA on the year, so it’s not like he’s been terrible, but I was expecting more.

Dan Wheeler – Got the vulture Win yesterday, which is nice, but he’s not the guy the Rays are going to for saves.  At this point, I’d hold Howell for saves and no one else.  I’m currently holding Wheeler as an MR, but my leagues are hella deep.  He will be the first one to go if there’s a need to drop someone.

Scott Kazmir – Should be back soon.  If he was dropped by an impatient owner, I’d grab him just in case he gets his shizz together.

Jered Weaver – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  The Padres had five hits, surprisingly three by Adrian Gonzalez.  I say surprisingly because why is anyone even pitching to him?  Challenging themselves?

Juan Rivera – Coming off the heels of making Friday’s Buy/Sell, he hit 2 HRs yesterday.  I told you!  Then again, Kendry Morales hit two over the weekend and he was a sell. *sighs*

Sean Rodriguez – Kendrick got sent down and Rodriguez was recalled.  So what does Scioscia do?  He doesn’t start Rodriguez.  Brilliant!  I’d hold Rodriguez for a few more days to a week to see how or if he’s used.  Because if he’s used and starts hitting homers, you’ll want to be the one owning him.

Jose Lopez – With a 4 HR / 12 RBI June, he’s somehow on pace for 24 HR / 102 RBI, albeit with an Ugglay .247 average.

Ian Kinsler/Aaron Hill – Proof that if you’re going to take a 100 AB vacation, you’d best do it right after a hot start.  Last 102 AB for Kinsler:  .176/13/4/13/3.  Last 101 AB for Hill:  .248/6/3/11/0.

Garrett Atkins - Proof that if you’re going to take a 200 AB vacation, you’d best get used to sitting on the bench.  He hit 3 for 4 on Sunday for his ONLY start in the week.  Yikes.

Cliff Lee - A 3 H / 2 BB shutout against the Cards with a no-hitter bid broken up in the 8th inning by the youngest Flying Molina brother.  Only 4 wins this year but the biggest regression for him has been in his run support vs. his ERA (2.88 ERA).

Josh Johnson – Complete game win giving up 3 earned.  The box score doesn’t show it, but this start was a bit of a nail-biter.  More of a nail-biter than the Lakers clinching win.  Speaking of which, the Lakers didn’t even seem to care.  Pile on someone.  Dump a Gatorade jug over Phil Jackson’s yellow Malcolm X hat.  Fog up Stuart Scott’s coke bottle glasses.  Something!  What a bore.  Then again, I don’t like basketball at all.  How hard is it for any of these guys to dunk?  About the same as me throwing a piece of paper in the trash.  You know what I want to see?  A basketball league of five-seven and under guys.  Now that would be interesting.  Where’s the skill?  He made a layup… He better, he’s six-seven!  /tangent