Jordan Walden is replacing Fernando Rodney as the closer for the Angels. The Angels decided to drop a guy with two first names for a guy with two last names. Makes sense – you start a game with a guy with two first names, you close a game with a guy with two last names. (No bullpen backup plan for you, Jeff Francis!) (Oh, and don’t forget Charles (Jeff) Nelson Reilly in middle relief.) Walden should be owned in every league that counts things like saves. Seems like a Neftali-type situation. Walden has to lose the job back to Rodney. Fernando can’t win it back by just being good (as remote as that even seems). By June, Walden can be a Donkeycorn and never look back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kendrys Morales – Took BP. Where? To court for the oil spill? *rereading news report* Oh! Batting practice. That’s a good sign. If someone lost patience with Kendrys, I’d buy him for sixty cents on the dollar. No more though, he could be a setback away from missing another month. Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s always fun when a player is traded from one team to another and doesn’t gain or lose any value whatsoever. Can’t wait for Moneyball: The Movie. After the last image of Billy Beane patting Scott Hatteberg on the butt, the screen fades. Over black, we read: After three straight sub-.500 years, Billy Beane, still finding value where no one else is, traded for Conor Jackson, who failed to impress anyone ever but had a career .358 On Base Percentage. (I imagine Hollywood would spell out OBP.) Not one dry eye in the entire theater. Of course, the only ones in the theater are A’s fans, nevertheless! Pursue Jackson timidly in AL-Only leagues. Meanwhile, Gerardo Parra will take over for CoJo. This Parra doesn’t walk people, he runs. Unfortunately, he hasn’t run enough to make him that interesting in mixed leagues. Parra’s upside is 7 homers, 15 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he can be grabbed in NL-Only leagues. In most mixed leagues, I think there’s gotta be someone more suave than Gerardo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Heilman – Will officially take over for Qualls. Every since Qualls had kneecap n’ crunch last year, he hasn’t seemed right. Hinch says he’ll let Qualls work in non-pressure situations so he can regain the closer role down the road. So in leagues where you were hoping to lose him, Qualls once again provides no relief. Pun point! Please, blog, may I have some more?
I picked up Doug Fister in every league I could. So, that’s out of the way. I won’t start him the next time out though and I’m not sure I’ll start him ever. I may just drop him if I never get a good matchup at home. At home’s key. That’s the only place I’d start him. Last night, his 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks performance is his peak. He pitches to contact and doesn’t K anyone. He’s similar to Joel Pineiro. Call him Jo-eh. If you were the firster to get him off waivers, chuck him into a package trade for someone much more reliable or exciting. His appeal is limited. So, yes, I grabbed him to chuck him. My apologies, Mister Fister. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Casey Kotchman – Hit his 2nd homer in as many days. Going mono y mano with Soriole, Bradley Bergesen. Please, blog, may I have some more?
AJ Hinch said, “Conor Jackson screams two-hole to me right now.” That’s what Mexican food does to me. Speaking of Mexican food, Conor Jackson is in a good position for runs, hitting in front of J-Upside, LaCucaracha, and Mini Donkey. That’s also a good spot for LaRoche, assuming the D-Backs aren’t facing a lefty and it’s after the All-Star Break. I tease. Who knows, maybe LaRoche will get his act together, hit well the whole year and be a decent sleeper in the end rounds at your corner infidel spot. Both Jackson and LaRoche are being drafted right now like they don’t even exist and, well, that feels wrong. Anyway, here’s some more fantasy baseball news:
Andrew Bailey – Out for a week with tennis elbow. No word exactly what caused it, but we’re guessing it’s from all the pressure on his serving when playing with his doubles’ partner, Brad Ziegler. Stop with your underhand serve! Wuertz hasn’t pitched yet in the spring, Waking Joey Devine is Walking Wounded Joey Devine until he sees game action, so that leaves Ziegler. Here’s my IM exchange with Rudy about picking up Ziegler. Me, “I’m grabbing Ziegler.” Rudy, “Forget it, Grey, it’s Oaktown.” He was right; I forgot it. Bailey could still be ready to start the season, so this isn’t an immediate add, but, as I’ve been saying in the offseason, Bailey’s not that safe. This could be a bullpen by committee by May 1st and Ziegler’s probably the third man on the totem pole. Hard to say right now with so many injuries. If this were in the middle of the season, I would’ve grabbed Ziegler. Please, blog, may I have some more?
(Note from Rudy: I wanted the title, “Ditch Stitch Tits.” Over Instant Messenger, Grey thickly said, “What’s with you and the stitch tits? This is about Vlad, not Pamela Anderson.” It means Vlad had a pectoral tear. Your pectoral is in your chest. Sorry none of you could bask in my preferred title. Now, carry on, Grey — lamer!) Vladimir Guerrero is due back on Monday from a torn pectoral. I’m not a doctor, but occasionally I played one in my preteen years. All I know of the pectoral is it’s somewhere in Vlad’s body. Do I have one? Maybe. No idea. So let’s go with what I do know. Scioscia lies; he lies when he cries that Vlad can’t play the outfield, but can DH, which he said on April 7th, right before Vlad missed six weeks. When Vlad did finally hit the DL, some source that Jayson Stark won’t reveal (because this is just so damning I suppose) said, “When those offensive linemen get (the same injury as Vlad) in the NFL, they’re out for the year.” So, assuming Vlad doesn’t need to block Jose Guillen from trying to tackle Scioscia, will Vlad be in the clear come Monday? Not likely. The injury that was only supposed to effect him when he throws has already sidelined him for 6 weeks from hitting. I’m assuming the Angels brass got together and decided half of a Vlad (or Vl) was a lot more intimidating hitting in the middle of the lineup than sitting on the sidelines doing Sudoku. This does not mean you need to have him in your fantasy lineup. Remember last year from June on, Vlad only hit 20 homers, or about what Raul Ibanez has done already (Raul!). Then you throw in the risk of having a player who is a Latin 34 with deteriorating skills and knees and he’s a sell. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Brian Anderson – Could have some slight value in AL-Only leagues. Though if you have a erection for longer than 4 hours after picking up Brian Anderson, you should seek advice from a doctor. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Orioles love their ex-Cubbies so they decided to sample some of their Pecan’t Pie rather than just hand the LF job to Nolan Reimold. As with most of these rookies, a lot depends on starting jobs. And Reimold doesn’t have one. Yet. So who’s blocking Reimold? Luke Scott? Who are you, Luke Scott? A 30-something prospect? Luke Scott must’ve called Matt Stairs for advice on how to prolong a major league career that should’ve ended years ago. Go to the DL, Luke. (He’s not there yet, but maybe if we all hold our breath. What Razzballers want, Razzballers get!) Then there’s Felix Pee-ay, who is crap-ay. He was hurt in yesterday’s game. Not to mention, many think his ship has already come and gone for prospect status. If Reimold emerges from this O’s left fielder mess, he’s a slugger who we think could hit for power without costing you too much in the average department. The nice thing about Reimold compared to a rookie pitcher — say, I don’t know, Hochevar! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Travis Hafner pronk’d you like only he can. Here’s you in the 17th round of your draft, “Well, Swisher’s staring at me like he wants my Jolly Ranchers, but his playing time is an issue. Oh, wait, I know! I’ll grab Hafner because he’s going to bounce back to in medias res HGH levels of production.” First off, it’s impressive you used in medias res in a sentence to yourself even if it was used wrong. That kind of Latin isn’t often seen during internal monologues by anyone born after 78 AD. Second, I told you to avoid Hafner! What are you doing? Thinking on your own? Please, blog, may I have some more?
As Stephen Drew tried to take that step forward in 2009 that fantasy baseball owners craved, he hurt his hamstring. Wonder what a Drew family vacation is like… “J.D., you wanna go see the world’s largest bottle cap? It’s supposedly 17 inches in circumference!” “Sure, I’ll go tell Mom and Pop.” On the way to the Sequoia, two hamstring pulls, a fractured hip and the Mom needs Tommy John surgery. Pretty sure no one’s giving them joint family coverage. The MDs in AZ say Drew’s injury shouldn’t knock him out longer than the 15 days. When you consider he hadn’t even started to hit yet, looks like Drew’ll begin his season mid-May. All in all, this is a decent buy low guy right now. If you can trade some spare parts for him (closer-du-jour, extra OF, etc.), he should prove worth stashing. He’s still talented and he can have a solid three-quarters of a season. Hopefully, he spent the first quarter on someone else’s team. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
Brandon Webb – Earliest return date is late-May. Still a long season so you can’t really sell him short, but with the trouble coming in his right shoulder, I’d be worried this doesn’t become a worst situation before it gets better. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. In today’s installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, we’re going to look at some outfielders and try to figure out if maybe the numbers tell a different story than their names tell. Anyway, here’s the latest in Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers:
Player A – Last season, 95/17/71/.303/29
Player B – Last season, 112/22/66/.280/12
Player A is Johnny Damon, Player B is Curtis Granderson
Player A – In 362 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/4/39/.285/23
Player B – In 379 at-bats Pre-All Star, 50/5/31/.253/21
Player A is Alex Rios, Player B is Carlos Gomez
Player A – In 248 at-bats Post-All Star, 36/9/39/.278/9
Player B – In 268 at-bats Post-All Star, 46/9/25/.299/13
Player A is Krispie Young, Player B is Matt Kemp. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. Please, blog, may I have some more?