The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies. It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown. I refuse to draft a top starter anywhere where they are usually drafted. Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth. Simple math tells us there’s starters to go around. In most leagues, there’s a ton of guys on waivers that can help you — all year. Not just in April, and then they disappear. With the help of the Stream-o-Nator (it’s not populated right now because there’s no scheduled games), you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest. To read more about streaming as a draft strategy. There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck. Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to shift due to which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can do anything. Finally, I’m good at projecting starters, so just fall back into my arms. I won’t drop you. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?Cole Hamels
Mike Moustakas left yesterday’s game with a groin injury that could end his season, which would also end his sophomore slump (the “o” is silent in sophomore, like when you make love to your woman — oofa!) The 2nd season like the 2nd Greek letter is beta.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It didn’t take long for Josh Beckett to cause people to question the heart of the Dodgers staff. And they didn’t even have to send them a Valentine. Look, we wouldn’t wish a heart issue on anyone but of all the Dodger closers over the years, why Kenley Jansen?
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Rangers are thinking about calling up big-time prospect, Jurickson Profar. When I saw that news my eyes did the John Lithgow’s eyes when he sees the gremlin on the wing of the plane in Twilight Zone, The Movie. Then I started thinking, as I’m wont to do on occasion, Kinsler is on lock, Andrus isn’t going anywhere yet, Beltre and Olt can play 3rd, while Young can butcher all 4 positions and fly the “This guy is the heart of our team” flag.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Desperate housewives and team owners rejoice – Evan Longoria is back and he has the mysterious, bedroom-eyed Giancarlo Stanton with him. Woo-hoo! Tommy Hutton be my Marlins docent and read me Giancarlo’s stat line. No, a little to the right. Ah, yeah, that’s the stuff.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Oakland A’s called up their prized prospect, Daniel Straily, to start tonight. Their prized prospect that no one even heard of before this year. Is that egg on your face, Keith Law? ”Actually, it’s a sous vide’d ostrich egg with fleur de sel.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Fugs (Epic Beardmen Division) were joined atop the overall standings by Rank Railheads (RCL 40), each with 112 points. The Fugs have managed to overcome the lengthy absence of their number 1 pick (7th overall), Evan Longoria. The Railheads, with the 2nd pick, started their team with Miguel Cabrera.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Andrew McCutchen went 3-for-4 with his 21st homer yesterday, and now has five homers in his last 4 games. On the year, he’s batting .371. For s’s and g’s, I went back to look at April comments about McCutchen when he had zero homers and only 7 RBIs through the first month.
Please, blog, may I have some more?For a quick recap of closers potentially on the move with the trade deadline looming, here’s the Bottom of the Ninth post from two weeks ago.
Houston Astros: In an even earlier post, I covered the Astros closing situation. For a not-so-quick recap, Brett Myers is due $10 million in 2013 if he closes 45 games and doesn’t end the year on the DL.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We all need a little wonder, so let me pose a question to you after this clunky intro. Was Matt Cain‘s perfect game the best one game pitching performance in major league history? I pose that question to you, young prematurely balding man, not to answer. Remember, I can’t hear you, unless you scream louder than 200 decibels. I pose this to you to put awe in your heart. A piece of childhood shoved right into your aorta. I’m saying, remove your short-sleeved button down shirt, and let me touch your heart with my question. A 14 K perfect game is kinda hard to top. I mean, I liked Pedro Martinez body slamming Don Zimmer as much as the next man, but the only pitcher to have 14 Ks in a perfect game was Sandy Koufax and he was coming off a Shabbos. Yesterday, was pure shock and “Aw crap, why don’t I have him on one single team?! I love Matt Cain! Bumgarner, you better throw a 15 K perfecto next time out!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Belt – 2-for-3 and his 2nd homer in as many games. There’s gonna be some hot schmotatos mentioned further down this post, even a hot thotato, but Belt is an immediate pick up. If he’s clicking, he could be a top twelve 1st baseman, like fo’ reals fo’ reals.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

