Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yesterday, Andy LaRoche made a last ditch effort for some of his parents’ love.  He went 5-for-5, with 2 homers, 4 Runs and 6 RBIs.  He had his best month of the season in September and he’ll still be 26 next year.  I might actually own Pirate players next year.  Weird!  BTW, the Pirates were playing in their final home game of the year in what has been a miserable decade season.  With this last opportunity for the Pirates to give their fans something to cheer about, the 3rd base coach put the brakes on LaRoche as he rounded 2nd heading to third on a long double.  Who cares right?  LaRoche needed a triple for the cycle!  Wait, it gets better.  Zach Duke is cruising for the entire game.  Runs into slight trouble in the 9th inning, but the Pirates have an 11-1 lead.  So what does the manager do with two outs, the never fear-inducing Blake DeWitt at-bat and Duke dealing with a very reasonable 103 pitch count?  He lifts Duke rather than let him get the complete game.  The Pirates deserve contraction.  /rant  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hiroki Kuroda – 4 IP, 10 baserunners, 3 ER and 7 runs total.  As he provided a Ticker Shock.

Garrett Jones – HR and steal yesterday as he went 2-for-5.  On the season, he’s sitting at 21 homers and 10 steals with a .305 average.  That’s in 292 at-bats.  I think Robot Jones might officially be overrated next year, unless everyone thinks he’ll be overrated which could make him underrated or just rated.  Hard to say.  If I had to guess, I think people will assume he’s a fluke and he’ll go later than he should.

Josh Beckett – Scratched from his start vs. the Jays.  I wouldn’t wait around to see if he starts again this season if you need starters.  Chances are the Sawx throw him for only a few innings as a tuneup for the playoffs, if they throw him at all.

Brett Gardner – Gardner, Melky, Hinske, Shelley “I Will High Five You So Hard Your Momma Feels It” Duncan, Miranda-Something-Or-Other, Ramiro Pena and Cervelli.  What is the Yankees lineup a day after clinching?  Yes, that’s right.  We would’ve also accepted, what the Yankees lineup would’ve l0oked like all year if they had the same injuries as the Mets?  For fantasy baseball purposes, this isn’t great that your Yanks are sitting, but I don’t think Girardi is going to want them rusty so the regulars should see at least 4 games this week.

Jair Jurrjens – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks.  With only one start left on the year, his ERA is 2.61.  Zoinks!  Of course, I’d love for him to strikeout more guys, but it’s hard to argue with his year.  Of course, he’s no Wandwagon.  But who is?

Anibal Sanchez – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 walks and that’s why I wouldn’t ever start him.

John Danks – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Every time I think I’m done with Danks (last game 6 IP, 7 ER), he pulls me back in with a start like this.  I’m warning you now, I’m going to like him again next year.

Cole Hamels – 6 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Damn you, Verducci Effect.

Miguel Tejada – 4-for-5 as he had his second 4 hit game in three days while batting over .500 in the last week.  At 13 homers, 5 steals and a .313 average, he’s been one of the biggest surprises this year for me.  Since those numbers aren’t that overwhelming, you can imagine how much I expected of him this year.

Gabe Kapler – HR yesterday.  Now that’s how you break a fast.

Grant Balfour – Got the save yesterday because when the bottle stopped spinning it was pointing at him.

Ervin Santana – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks as the Angels win the West.  Count on most of the Angels lineup sitting or phoning it in tomorrow.  That’s a slight endorsement for the Rangers starter tomorrow, Feldman.

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-3, 3 Runs and a RBI when he was replaced by Millar.  No word if he left because of a serious injury or just to emphasis how scary it is that I care what happened to him.

Colby Rasmus – This video was shot exactly 500 yards from Colby Rasmus.  If you think that is bad, you should see the one for Chris Davis.  It’s just a guy singing honkytonk at a Dallas bar and striking out with every woman he tries to serenade.

Alfonso Soriano is out indefinitely with knee problems.  Backdate this news three months.  Al-So is beginning to look like every bit of his Latin 33 age.  A real *pinkie to mouth* Al-so ran.  I’d drop Soriano in all leagues.  So it’s Jakie Foxx time, right?!  Since Soriano’s been gone, Sam Fuld (no power, light speed) got two starts, Bobby Scales (minor league journeyman) got two starts, Fox hasn’t had one start.  In other news, Jake Fox slept with Piniella’s wife.  As for Grady Sizemore… Early last week I said Sizemore’s injury would shut him down sooner than later.  Sooner happened over the weekend.  Grady’s done for the season and the Indians will go with Michael Brantley.  Hey, ain’t that the guy from Riverdance? Nope, but he also has quick feet.  Like Ron LeFlore, Brantley could provide some cheap speed.  Right now, he’s batting first and hitting close to .400 since his call up.  If there’s room in your bottle, there’s your lightning.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Iannetta – The Rockies announced Torrealba will be their starting catcher.  I.e., the Rockies finally gave up on Iannetta.  So bad, so sad.

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Now has two solid games back from his Disgraceful List stint.  While he has a name like a high school bully character from an 80s movie (Shut up, geek!), Cueto could have decent value in the last month.

Jay Bruce – Should return from his DL stint on Tuesday.  If he’s out there, I’d grab him, but don’t expect a miracle.  Bruce had three hits on Saturday in Triple-A, but Dusty Baker said, “There is more to being ready than just hits.”  Hmm… Maybe that’s why the Reds are dead last in the major leagues in hits.

Drew Stubbs – HR yesterday.  Now has 4 homers in the last seven games with one steal.  Has 23 Ks and 25 hits since his call up.  That’s Dusty Ball!

Tim Hudson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks vs. Reds.  See above for why this was a terrific match-up.

Jeremy Guthrie – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks.  I had a brief love affair with Guthrie last year.  It ended poorly in the beginning of this year, but then last month I saw he threw a solid game and I texted him that I was glad he was back on track.  He responded with “Thx.”  I hate when people abbreviate thanks.  They should respond with, “I don’t appreciate you enough to write out thanks.”  Then Guthrie threw another good game and another and another.  We may not be on the best of terms and the Orioles schedule is ugly in September, but if you’re really hurting, Guthrie has four straight solid starts and might have more in the tank.

Derek Holland – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER A.K.A. why I wouldn’t trust Holland this year.

Leo Nunez – No outs recorded, 3 ER.  Now has blown two games in his last three opportunities.  May lose some save chances in the near future, but, unfortunately, Lindstrom hasn’t been much better.  Maybe Kiko Calero takes his awesome sounding name and does something with it.  Though, I doubt it.

Ryan Franklin – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he blew his 1st save since June.  Normally, that would mean he’s as secure as they come, but the Cards can’t afford to lose games in the ninth and I’d imagine LaRussa will have another guy warming up as Franklin takes the mound next time.

Wade Davis – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks.  Might have a solid couple of starts in his arm for this month, but he can roofie you at any time.  Eric Karabell calls that high risk, high reward.  He’s so smart!

Fernando Rodney – Got two days off on Saturday and Sunday.  Leyland’s saying it was just some rest in the long season.  I think it’s because Rodney fired a 97 MPH fastball into the press box after saving Friday’s game.  Incredibly, members of the press were able to make a split second decision to leave the nachos and duck.  Lyon may have some appeal if you’re hurting for saves.

J.P. Howell – No outs recorded, 1 ER.  More disconcerting, Grant Balfour opened the ninth in a save situation.  Howell then entered to face a lefty, then gave way to Russ Springer, who gave up the grand slam to Brandon Inge.  It’s a closerousel, and the Tampa closer is Grant P. Springler.

Gordon Beckham – Sat out yesterday with a sore side.  He should be back in a few games to make his run at .250 while hitting a homer every fifth game.

Krispie Young – 3 HRs yesterday.  Now he just needs to get 20 homers and 20 steals while batting .600 the rest of this month to salvage his season.

Cole Hamels – 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  On the bright side, he should be a relative bargain next year.

Seth Smith – 2 HRs, giving him 4 in the last five games as he hits near .600 in the last week and his Grandpappy settled Jamestown.

Carlos Gonzalez – HR yesterday.  He’s hitting near .400 in the last week with 3 homers and 3 steals.  Like Kyle Blanks’s afro, CarGo’s well rounded.

Doug Fister – 5 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks and a no decision.  Confession:  I’m way under my innings limit in one league, so I gambled on Fister.  Plus, I always dreamed of having someone with a porn name on my team.

Brad Hawpe – The Rockies scored 13 runs and Hawpe went 0-for-3 with 2 runs.  Ticker Tease!

Pablo Sandoval – 1-for-3, and 3 walks, which is the same amount of walks he got in all of April.  In the same game, a triple play.  Obviously, there was two full moons in Milwaukee yesterday.

Randy Ruiz – Hit in the cheek with a pitch.  The cheek you pinch if you’re an Italian mother, not the cheek you pinch if you’re Italian who drives an IROC.  Ruiz will probably miss a few games.  After the game, he said, “I’m fine now.  Nothing growing up in New York City that I haven’t experienced.”  I grew up in New Jersey.  There you get hit by the strong stench of Drakkar.

The G-Sizzle Fizzle loses more carbonation as we head into September.  Grady Sizemore will undergo surgery prior to the end of the season.  This means you will lose him at some point this month.  The longer the Indians push him the more of a chance that he may not be ready for spring training.  The Indians are playing for $23 worth of trinkets right now so this is a no-brainer for them.  And a no-brainer is the Indians’ management specialty.  They called up Michael Brantley to eventually fill-in full-time for Sizemore.  Last night, Brantley played left field (went 2-for-4, batted 9th).  In 115 games in Triple-A, Brantley had 43 steals.  He’ll probably be a liability on average, but for those steal-starved teams out there — SAGNOF!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hanley Ramirez – Left with a tight hamstring.  Had one of those last Thanksgiving on the Hormel.  Had to chew around it.

Michael Young – His hamstring is a little more serious with a strain.  If I had to guess, I’d say he’s headed to the DL.  Though, knowing the way Young loves his 200 hit seasons, he may just play gimpy.  Hehe, I said gimpy.

Neftali Feliz – Has one earned run, 26 Ks and ONE WALK (caps for emphasis and the guy reading over your shoulder) in 19 and two-thirds innings.  Holy heffin hey!

Josh Hamilton – 2 HRs yesterday to bring his season total to ten.  Almost as big a bust as the one he was seen licking whipped cream off of.

Chris Davis – 5-for-8 in yesterday’s doubleheader with a homer.  And no strikeouts!

Tim Hudson – Last time he pitched in the majors, I titled the post, “Whoscow for the Hudson,” and he went off to see, Dr. Freeze.  (Oddly, in the post where Hudson was injured, so was Michael Young.  They’re cosmically linked, I tell ya.  Kismet, I say.  When Michael Young slides, Tim Hudson’s pants get dirty.)  Hudson’s line this game (5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks) is almost exactly what I would imagine you’ll get from him the rest of the season.  Iffy five inning games.  Worth it in some leagues, not in others.

Jorge Posada – 2 HRs yesterday.  Why doesn’t he have a “de la” in the middle of his name?

Carlos Guillen – It pains me to keep saying nice things about Guillen, yet here he is again with another homer.

Andy Marte – Now has 4 homers in the last seven games.  I dropped some schmohawk for him in one of my leagues.  This is a trust exercise.  Just fall into Marte’s arms.  He’ll catch you.

Carlos Carrasco – 3 IP, 6 ER.  Was in my September call ups Markie Post-thingie.  I said I liked him for next season.  Never said I liked him for this one.  Okay, I did like him for this one, but that was last December.

Cole Hamels – 9 IP, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Hey, Cole, nice of you to join us for September.

Jonathan Sanchez – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  His walks aren’t a thing of beauty, but you know what is?  His collection of air sickness bags? No, I’m going to tell you, random italicized voice.  His Ks.  He has 145 Ks in 132 1/3 innings.  That makes him ownable everywhere.  Well, except in 4 x 4 leagues, but no one plays them anymore, do they?

David Wright - Went 1-for-3 in his return as he wore an American Gladiator helmet.

Andy Sonnanstine – 4 IP, 3 ER, 2 Ks.  Glad to see he didn’t lose his lack of stuff in the minors.

Garrett Jones – Another homer.  Argh, I’m actually excited for Pirates.  Okay, pop quiz, hot shot.  Who’s been more valuable this year, Garrett Jones or Ryan Ludwick?  You infer the answer.

Mike Carp – Called up for the M’s and should see a decent amount of time.  He has moderate pop, not a great average.  Outside of deep leagues (>12), I’d just wait to see.  (BTW, that’s a greater than symbol and a twelve.  Not some kind of weird teenager texting language meaning a heart next to a coat hanger or something.)

Randy Wells – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER.  Has a 2.90 ERA on the year with 133 1/3 innings.  Is his name in the Rookie of the Year convos?  Hmm, I just did, didn’t I?  For what it’s worth, and I guess it is worth something since you’re reading this, I think Wells is going to slightly disappoint next year.

Jeff Manship – 5 IP, 1 ER vs. the Called It A Day White Sox.  Besides having a last name that sounds like a cruise hosted by Adam Carolla, Manship has good control and decent K-stuff.  Listen, if the Twins start him, he’s probably better than most.  He’ll have the same growing pains as most rookie pitchers, but could have matchup potential.

Jorge de la Rosa – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  Another solid start from The dlR.  I hope the Rockies miss the playoffs just so dlR’s innings stay low(er) and I can draft him without worries next year.

Carlos Gonzalez – 1-for-4, HR and steal yesterday.  You know what I really like here?  Besides the homer, he was only on base once (a walk) and he stole a base.  That’s the kind of initiative we need in September.

Clayton Richard – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  If he didn’t pitch well in Petco vs. the Nats, there would have been problems.

Vicente Padilla – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  It’s nice in the NL West, ain’t it?

Felix Pie – HR yesterday for his 4th homer in the last eight games.  No idea where the power is coming from.  Maybe Aubrey Huff left behind some corked bats.  Whatever the case, when the player’s hot, grab them.  By the time I write about him in the Buy section of Friday’s post, Pie may no longer be hot.

Adam Jones – Left the game with an ankle injury.  Is it me or is this guy injured every other week?  Maybe he’s doing it to get a prescription of medicinal marijuana.

Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday.  He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now.  Man, third base is a minefield.  Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box.  No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad.  But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.”  I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year.  I’m Grey and I make proclamations! But Longoria isn’t exactly setting the world afire with flames shooting out of his areolas.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Sonavabench!  I can’t stand Rays pitchers this year.  They’re sucking the life out of me.  One day it’s Shields pitching terribly in my lineup, then it’s him pitching well on my bench. Then Kazmir follows suit.  I might need to take a sabbatical next year from the Rays pitchers.

J.P. Howell – 1 IP, 1 ER. This is the 2nd game in a row Thurston and Lovey’s son has blown.

Oliver Perez – Out for the season with surgery to his knee.  In September, I’m fully expecting the Mets to play their home games in candy stripper outfits.

Brad Penny – Wanted out of Boston and he got it.  He cited irreconcilable differences.  Sox just said he sucked.

Chad Qualls – Placed on waivers, but it’ll take a John Holmes-sized package to get him from the Diamondbacks.  If he’s shown the door, I’d expect Rauch to get the saves.  Oh, and he blew a save last night.  Yay.

Justin Upton – Back from his oblique strain.  Oh, and he went 1-for-3.  Non-sarcastic yay.

Jonathan Sanchez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Has been solid since his no-hitter.  Somewhere, Buehrle realizes he should’ve renegotiated his deal with the devil.

Brian Wilson – Medders got the save yesterday (quite easily actually), but I think it was just because Medders was warming up to enter a losing game, then one of The Flying Molina Brothers put the Giants into a save situation with 2 outs in the 8th.

David Ortiz – 2 HRs yesterday.  Has 22 homers on the year while batting .227.  Who are you, Dave Kingman?

Josh Johnson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks vs. the Mets.  Is it only me or do you, loyal Razzball reader, also expect a shutout from your pitcher when they face the Mets and are upset when all you get is a s0lid start?

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Was outpitched by Pineiro.  What’s worse, I’m not surprised.  I wanna say to Oswalt, “You gonna let this punk get away with that?  What’s the matter with you?  What’s the world comin’ to?”

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4, but caught stealing again.  On the bright side, he’s at least attempting steals.  I’m farting in your general direction, Alcides Escobar.

Andre Ethier – 3-for-4, 2 HRs.  Mentioned so I don’t get hate mail from Andre Ethier’s Mom.

Jack Cust – HR yesterday.  Member two days ago how I said when he gets hot, he gets scorching?  He’s now batting near .600 for the last week.

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  Has 4 homers in the last week.  Cool, but I dropped him back in May and don’t regret it.

Trevor Hoffman – Placed on waivers.  These things usually don’t go through.  Keep that in mind.  But I’d expect Coffey to grab Brewers saves in September if The Hoff’s off.

Nick Johnson – Heads to the DL.  If you set your watch by Johnson’s DL trips, you were probably pretty tardy this year as it took him much longer than usual to hit the infirmary.

Brad Lidge – Before yesterday’s game, Manuel said Lidge will remain the Phillies closer.  So, of course, Madson came on for the save.  And blew it.  Give Scott Eyre the ball!  I keed.  Lidge had worked a few days in a row, so I think Lidge is still the guy… To blow saves.

Cole Hamels – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks.  I watched a good chunk of this game.  The Pirates had a lot of opportunities to score.  Love to sit here (and I am sitting) and tell you Hamels is gonna be just fine going forward, but I’d be lying.  He might be, but this game shouldn’t be used as an indication either way.

Matt LaPorta – 2-for-4 and a HR yesterday.  He now has at least one hit in every game since his recall.  Now Eric Wedge must think harder about ways to bench him.

Andy Pettitte – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  I don’t think I’ve owned a Yankee pitcher in five years.  Too many headaches with the division and now the ballpark.  Pettitte’s one of those I wouldn’t have owned (though used to when he was on the Astros).  But through it all, Pettitte has pitched well this year.  Nothing incredible (4.18 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, around 7 K/9), but solid.

Alfonso Soriano – May need knee surgery.  No word if he’ll have it sooner than later.  My guess is later, but if he does it sooner, then suddenly we have a some playing time for Jake Fox.  Yes, Soriano’s fallen far when I’m hoping for knee surgery and I own him in a league.

Milton Bradley – HR yesterday.  Before the game, he talked about how much he hates Chicago, “I’m talking about hatred, period. I’m talking about when I go to eat at a restaurant. I’ve got to listen to the waiters badmouthing me at another table, sitting in a restaurant.”  Milton needs to stop eating at Dick’s Last Resort.

I went over 13 pitchers in May that should be better according to their FIP.  Some of those pitchers on the list who weren’t doing great that have since turned it around are Nolasco, Floyd, Verlander, Lincecum, Lester, Beckett, Javier Vazquez and Ubaldo.  8 of 13.  Two other pitchers were Randy Johnson and Gil Meche.  So they were injured and haven’t hurt any teams in a while.  So 8 of 11 healthy pitchers.  One of the missing pitchers is Scott Olsen.  Next to his name, I wrote, “Blech.”  So I think it was clear I wasn’t telling you to go grab him.  So that’s 8 of 10.  Another pitcher was Pavano.  Next to his name I said, “Hmm… Maybe I should’ve ignored some of these schmohawks.”  Obviously not an endorsement.  That’s 8 of 9.  The last pitcher was Andy Sonnanstine.  I’m never been a fan of his and he’s been in the minors since June, so he didn’t hurt you really either.  So that’s 8 for 8 in Grey Math.  Eat it, snitches!  Anyway, here’s a list of pitchers with the biggest difference between their actual ERAs and their FIPs. (If your guy is on the list, it’s a good sign.  Some would even say you could go out and trade for some of these guys, you educated fantasy baseball owner you!)

Ricky Nolasco – 1.66 difference.  Yup, he’s going to continue to be better.

Carl Pavano – 1.12.  Still ignore.

Paul Maholm – 1.11.  Don’t you love when a plan doesn’t come together.  Maholm should be better, but that doesn’t mean I’d rush out to own him.  He’s nothing but match-up material.

Jorge de la Rosa – .90.  I do own him in a 12 team league and I’d start him every time out in away games and play match-ups at home.  BTW, he had a 2.50 ERA in July.  That included 5 home games and only one away game.

Cole Hamels – .87. Having some shizzy luck when it comes to men LOB and BABIP.  The bigger problem is I think the Phils abused his arm so badly in 2008 that he/they are paying for it now.

Jon Lester – .75.  Gotta love when a pitcher’s below a 4 ERA and still supposed to be better.

Francisco Liriano – .75.  Hmph. Well, what do we do with that?  The Twins seem like they’re at the point where they don’t want to bother with Liriano anymore.  I’m definitely not bothering with Liriano.  If I want an ulcer, I’ll snoop through my girlfriend’s photo albums of old boyfriends.

Kevin Correia – .75.  Hey, I think this is our first HodgePadre to ever appear on a FIP post.  Johnny Olson tell ‘em what he’s won…  A brand new washer and dryer!