It’s not the Year of the Tiger, but don’t tell Doug Fister that. And don’t ask Mr. Fister to sing Kyrie, because that song kills kittens. Fact! He just followed up a strong start @BAL with a dominating performance against the T & T Angels: 8 IP, 10K, 1 ER, 4 baserunners.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The game of musical chairs at the top of the Master standings continued as captainpyper (RCL 3) moved up a spot and MattTruss223 (Rube Waddell’s Shiny Objects — Magnificent Mustachioed Men) jumped from 10th to share the throne with 108 points. The captain had the first pick in the RCL 3 draft and started his team with Miguel Cabrera, Adrian Beltre, and Hunter Pence.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The trade to the White Sox couldn’t have worked any better for Kevin Youkilis. Now he can just chuck all of his clothes in with some bleach. I imagine him and Ventura will get along thick as thieves. They can bond over how they were both publicly beat up.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Zimmerman recently admitted to the Washington Post that his shoulder isn’t at 100%. I recently admitted to the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston Alumni magazine that my pinkie finger has been acting up. I go to type up some fantasy baseball advice and it looks like this, “I drafted Ryan Zimmerman, that piece of @#$%^&*” I don’t reach for the Shift key and symbols, but my pinkie involuntary adds them.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Colby Rasmus took the Miller Park crowd and said, “How ya like me now?!” Then they said, “We don’t really know you, because the Blue Jays/Brewers rivalry extends only about an hour or so, unless you count that time Rance Mulliniks said this town was nothing but a bunch of Lenny and Squiggys.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lance without an ACL isn’t NE good. With a torn meniscus, Lance Berkman is only out for six to eight weeks. “Hello, I’m Keith Morrison of Dateline. Today’s story is about an aging vet. A vet that the media began reporting as finished. Done. But where this vet saw the end, his knee saw just a setback. Also, on tonight’s Dateline: Can you get cancer from playing with your cat?” Berkman and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. Last year, he berated me in the comments for not believing in him, then disappeared this year when he wasn’t going well. I hold no ill feelings towards him. That competitive edge that drove him to compete also drove him to comment on our site. Last year, A-Rod missed 6 weeks with a torn meniscus. I’d put him and Berkman around the same level of gimpiness. So Lance B.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the doubleheader, Nate Schierholtz went 6-for-10 with a homer, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, steal and back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-etc. starts from Bochy, go ahead with your big head self! “This is the year Schierholtz breaks out! And fill up my Merlot!” That’s every Giants fan for the last three years. Then within a few weeks, he’s usually hurt. If Schierholtz is indeed German for pantyhose, he sure gets rips in them quickly. Maybe he should bathe in clear nail polish. (See, ladies, Grey doesn’t forget about you.) Schierholtz has power, he just needs to stay healthy. For now, I’d pick him up in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Lincecum – Good news: 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks. Bad news: 4 hits, 5 walks, 108 pitches. Reminds me of my stat lines when playing backyard Wiffle Ball. Maybe Timmy needs to throw to a Pitchback instead of a Posey.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum went six innings and gave up a bongillion runs and has a 10.54 ERA on the year. He’s either sharing a UCL with Wilson or he’s about to make a turn around. No pitcher is going to throw a 10.54 ERA without the universe abandoning that whole gravity thing. And in that case, there would be bigger fish to fry, and we’d have to fry that fish in a Jiffy Pop container, otherwise the hot oil would float away. Or so I read in one of Ken Cosgrove’s stories. Will Lincecum have a 2.75 ERA this year? Well, that’s a different bag of flying fried fish. There’s talk that his velocity is down, which makes his change-up less effective. See, you need one to go fast and one to go deceptively less fast. It’s timing, y’all. Could Lincecum be nothing more than a 3.50 ERA pitcher? Yeah, it’s possible, but there’s still value in that. I wouldn’t give the farm in a trade for him, but I’d see if someone was interested in the tractor. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brian Wilson – There’s talk he could rehab and not get Tommy John surgery because he has a moderate UCL sprain. Oh! Is that all? Terrific. Spray some Windex on it and get out there!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Wilson is donzo. I called this one about 48 hours prior. You can put it on the beard…. Goodbye! The crizzappy thing for me is I told everyone to pick up Santiago Casilla to replace Wilson, and I picked him up too. I mean, I literally grabbed Casilla while the trainer was looking at Wilson’s arm on Thursday. So, of course, I dropped Casilla when Wilson was supposedly okay on Friday and Rudy grabbed him on Saturday before I could. *shakes fist* Rudy! No one really knows who’ll follow in Wilson’s non-conformist footsteps. He leaves a long shadow that smells of dirty socks. Sergio Romo has been a great MR for a couple years, while Casilla is rumored to be the favorite and Bochy brought him into the 8th in a tie game on Saturday. The mystery of ‘Who replaces Wilson?’ is trapped inside Bochy’s enormous head. To get the answer, you have move Bochy’s head like one of those wooden labyrinth marble mazes and hope the answer comes out his mouth and not one of the other holes. I’d grab Casilla and Romo, in that order. I actually even grabbed Affeldt for situational saves, but I realized I couldn’t speculate that deep — don’t have the bench room, yo — so I lost him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jacoby Ellsbury – That hard C you heard was the crunch of Brignac falling on a crapton of fantasy baseballers’ (<–my mom’s term!) number one outfielder. Doctors are saying Ellsbury has a subluxation, laymen are saying he has a dislocation of the shoulder, my Asian woman neighbor who’s always working on her lawn said, “Potato-potahto, you’re screwed.” For the next six to eight weeks, he’s D’Ellsburied. If he fails to respond to rest, there’s a chance he’ll need season-ending surgery. I say put a cone on his head and shove him in a dog crate. Gotta respond to that kind of rest. If you owned Ellsbury, you should be able to find steals — SAGNOF!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Holliday heads to the DL with a quadriceps injury. C’mon, Mantle played with no knees for ten years! Have a scotch and get in the lineup! John Jay should see time while Holliday recoups. Worth owning in 12 team leagues and could make a decent sub while Holliday’s out. That’s not to say he could make a decent hoagie. Different things. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kyle McClellan – Out for at least a couple of weeks with a hip flexor strain. Or it’s hip to be strained, if you’re a kid of the 80′s.Please, blog, may I have some more?