Here’s Chris Davis‘s ceiling. And here’s where he’s playing right now: take your jigsaw, saw out a hole in your ceiling, put a ladder through the hole, climb to the roof, grab onto the tree branch to your right, monkey-climb up to the top and wait twenty seconds. Okay, now grab onto that passing stork and sit in his mouth for five minutes. Go ahead, you can check your phone while you’re in there, it won’t bother Storkie. Now if Storkie has closed his mouth, open it. Otherwise, just look up… See that basket with Bill James waving down? In that basket, just offscreen is Chris Davis. That’s how far he’s playing above his head. Right now, everything he’s hitting is falling in or going out of the park. A .330-average, 50+ homers is obviously not a sustainable pace, but to give you an idea of how bad it could get — he hit around .216 in 167 ABs in June and July of last year. If his strikeout rate goes up to his norm, that’s not far from where it could sit for a few months. Don’t sell him for a pot of pasta sauce from your neighbor, Buddy Biancalana, but I’d explore offers. For our four lady readers, Chris(ten) Davis is a Sell in the City. To reach a better advertising demo, UC Davis, U sell Davis.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Roy Halladay makes every hitter look like Babe Ruth right after he burped. (Burping was the key to his success; I watched a documentary.) Roy’s gotta hit the Disgraceful List, doesn’t he? I mean, it’s in everyone’s best interest at this point. Watching him is like seeing Carol Channing before someone told her to use a mirror to apply makeup. “How’d I get this lipstick on my ears? Maybe a dab of mascara on the ol’ chin!” You should’ve heard me saying that line like Carol Channing in my head. It’s just real sloppy out there right now for Roy. If he’s not hurt, his fantasy owners may find him in a dark alley and change that. If he is hurt, stop taking one for the team, you gamer you. “I’m a gamer. I grind like I’m old school, Jodeci, going riding roughshod over fantasy ratios…Horatio…Alger, in reverse.” That’s Roy doing beat poetry. At this point, I’d bench him against most teams until he starts piecing together something less craptastic. You might, unfortunately, have the reincarnation of 2012 Lincecum. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the first official Deep Impact for this 2013 season. We went over some Overvalued and Undervalued choices to help with your off season tasks. Now that the year has begun, one could ask what our goal will be as this series moves forward. Well, foremost, this series exists to do the chit and do the chat with all things Deep League. That should have been obvious, or my title needs to be changed. But I don’t want to change it, I want to live in a world where Morgan Freeman is the President. And Leelee Sobieski is actually eating. And, well, Frodo is still Frodo, except instead of a ring, he’s keeping his chick safe from the tsunami horde and hopefully any type of sandwich shortage.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Don Mattingly said that Kenley Jansen is now his closer. His exact words were, “There was a time and a place to put a closer in the setup role and an inferior pitcher in the closer role and that time has past. I will know try to figure out why I ever shaved my mustache. Things were much easier when Joe Torre was in the dugout managing the team and not on speed dial. ‘Ooh, I’m Joe Torre, I take twenty minutes to return a text.’ C’mon, man, I can only ask for a replay review so many times! I wonder if I can get Paul Sorvino to be my bench coach. Or Joe Mantegna, he also kinda looks like Torre.” Jansen will be a $12 Salad in all leagues by July, if not sooner. Yes, he should be owned in all leagues, if he isn’t already. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jhoulys Chacin – Went to the Disgraceful List when he refused his assignment to Triple-A. If you are gonna suck in your first 5 MLB starts of the year, Jhoulys you can do is report to AAA.Please, blog, may I have some more?