Doesn’t Danny Valencia sound like a bad actor’s stage name? “For my audition, I’m going to do the scene ‘Eating the Old 96er’ from The Great Outdoors.” Okay, try not to choke. (Quick side note: My aunt used to date Danny Aiello. But not Danny Aiello, the actor. A different Danny Aiello. It was like McDowell’s vs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Clay Hensley
Before the NAAPP, National Association for the Advancement of Polish People, write me, it’s not Polish, it’s polish. Pa-lish. Not Pole-lish… Oh, forget it. David Murphy has a hit in every game this month and, with Hamilton out, he’s playing every day. In the month of September, he has a .380 average, 2 homers, 3 steals, 10 RBIs and 7 instances of “Who the hell is David Murphy?” from fantasy owners. Texas Rangers media guide has him listed as “That Guy” and a picture of William Fichtner. When Murphy goes to the plate, there’s no song playing. Know why? Cause he’s unsung! Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitresses. I know the prevailing thought with Murphy is he’s a platoon player, but why does that have to be Murphy’s Law? Well, because he can’t hit lefties usually but he is right now, so, like a trophy wife, own while hot. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Emilio Bonifacio – If you picked up Bonifacio in April of 2009 in your keeper then were abducted by aliens, your team’s looking good again. The Xavier Nady pickup doesn’t look too bad either. Though you may want to switch out Cantu.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Kyle Drabek, the Blue Jays top pitching prospect, was called up to start on Wednesday vs. the O’s. Kyle Drabek is 24th on the top 50 prospects for fantasy baseball. He has top of the rotation stuff and a good pedigree with his dad being the former Cy Young winner, Doug. Or Guod if you’re dyslexic. Or “Hey, look a bird,” if you have ADHD. Well… Kyle Drabek had top of the rotation stuff. Now he looks closer to a number 2 or 3. His strikeout rate went from 10+ K/9 in A to 7+ in Double-A. Word on the street is his velocity is down. He’s obviously too young to write off. Velocity could return with the gaudy Ks. In keepers, I’d grab him in AL-Only, obviously. In mixed league keepers, it needs to be deep for him to have any real value. For this year, I’d be very cautious about starting him anywhere. In his first two starts, he gets the M’s and O’s, or the Mo’s. Not bad matchups, but starting rookie pitchers in the final weeks of the season is asking for trouble. You just have no idea what he’s going to do in his cup of coffee, he may or may not get creamed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Adam Lind – 1-for-2 with 22nd homer. I’m sorry, I will like him again next year. I’ll love him if he can train with the guy who trained Zobrist in the winter of 2009 and Bautista last winter.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s go over the Danny Espinosa positives first, shall we? A) In Triple-A, he had 18 homers and 20 steals. B) At MI, you need another positive after A? C) B was already forced and you want a C? D) Hmm… You need another positive, huh? Umm… How about D.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing. You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings. If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves. Hello, Juan Gutierrez, would you like to dance? If you fall into the latter category, you can either start dropping brain freezes – Joel Hanarahananananan, we had a terrible time together and now I will drop you. Goodbye. – or just bench your lower tier closers to avoid getting Kazaam’d. I’d only drop a closer if I knew no one could catch me in saves or if it were strategic. For instance, I’ve been known to drop a closer because I know the guy with the high waiver claim can get him and catch the guy in front of him in saves, which will help me in the overall standings. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league. That’s a true story in opposite world. On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad. On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first. He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September. Mark my words! But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
