The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road. An optimistic timetable has him out for 6 weeks, but it sounds like Choo doesn’t think he can. I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see him until September and, even then, what are you going to get? The same you’d get off waivers. If you don’t have DL room, I’d cut him, Mickey. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jose Tabata – Left the game on a cart with a quad injury after running out a bunt single. Paula Deen would call that a bunt ache. Or, as Cameron Frye would say, Tabata Tabata Tabata, stuh-rain, Tabata Tabata. The Pirates immediately pulled Alex Presley from their Triple-A lineup. It’s time for the really big shew with today’s guest, Alex Presley. Girls in poodle skirts go crazy. I just went over Presley the other day. I said, “He sticks…longer…profiles…” Hmm… Gotta work on what quotes I pull. He’s a 12/20 guy over the course of a season. In one league instead of Presley, I grabbed Xavier Paul, though Garrett Jones was who the Pirates called on yesterday to replace Tabata. He would be my first choice too in some fantasy leagues. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Joyce a sell? Now I will bite my lip and try not to sob. Quiet, gentle sobs that Joyce used to assuage. Joyce and I had something together that no one else can understand. Well, maybe some of you that also own him can understand it, but the rest of you never will. We shared moments that can only be explained by watching an Ecuadorian couple that has been married for 60 years sharing a mango on a park bench. That’s what we had! Picture, if you will, a giant mustache wrapped like a shawl around Matt Joyce’s shoulders. We were that inseparable for about six weeks. I own Joyce all over the place and he’s about the only hitter I have playing over his head. Alas, playing over his head is the problem with Joyce, to DeWitt. His BABIP is absurd; he’s a .270 hitter currently hitting .360. He’s sandwiched between Votto and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater. That’s crazy. I know I told everyone to grab him back in April, but he’s not this good. Humble brag! He’s never had more than 5 hits vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With 4 homers for Kelly Johnson, there’s still the Kelly Ka-POW, see? With the 6 steals, he’s still running. If you extrapolate those numbers out, it’s a 20/20 season. If extrapolate is the right word. From radio, to the video, to Arsenio… Tell me! Yo, what’s the best case scenario for Johnson? Last yeario, Phife Dawg. That’s not happening this year though. This is what currently is happening. His balls batted into play are showing he’s been unlucky, so he’s pressing and his Ks have gone up and walks have gone down. If a couple balls fall in front of fielders and Johnson gets on base, his confidence will rise and he’ll start being more selective at the plate. His average will then rise and he’ll continue to hit for power and steal bases. His average isn’t likely going to get up to .280, but a 18/15 year with a .250 average is still very possible. That’s better than the current perception of him. If he’s been dropped, I’d look to grab him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Lind looks headed to the DL with back spasms. Wait until the Iron Shiek gets his hand on Lance Berkman. You know how he hates ex-members of the Killer B’s. I break your back! Make you humble! And… Well, you can watch the video yourself. It’s not safe for work, community outreach centers or, really, anywhere there’s anyone else within earshot. From that point, browse some more Iron Sheik videos. He has a surprisingly large amount of hatred for a wide array of people and expresses his hatred in the most eloquent of ways. Okay, that was a long sidebar. As for Lind, hope he gets DL’d quickly so you can grab someone else. Yeah, I kinda just wanted to talk about the Iron Sheik. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Vicente Padilla – Mattingly said Padilla could keep closing even after Broxton returns. I say, it’s early May and things will change. To misquote my new favorite song, “Padilla is the same man, same that he’s always been.” All these buckets of rain! I love that song. Okay, moving on. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Around 7 AM on Sunday morning, my smoke detector started beeping every few minutes. Hungover, I rolled out of bed. I figured the battery was low, so I removed it and went back to sleep. An hour later, it started beeping again. So I removed the smoke detector from the wall and it stopped beeping. Then at 3 AM Monday night, it started beeping again. I pulled out my ladder and, like I was defusing a bomb but not caring if it blew up, I indiscriminately cut all the wires from the smoke detector and went back to sleep. About 5 hours later, it started beeping again. I pulled a hammer from my tool box and began smashing the smoke detector. Then I went into my office and did the same to that smoke detector just to make sure. Then I removed the one from my bedroom and did the same. No more beeping…. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jordan Walden is replacing Fernando Rodney as the closer for the Angels. The Angels decided to drop a guy with two first names for a guy with two last names. Makes sense – you start a game with a guy with two first names, you close a game with a guy with two last names. (No bullpen backup plan for you, Jeff Francis!) (Oh, and don’t forget Charles (Jeff) Nelson Reilly in middle relief.) Walden should be owned in every league that counts things like saves. Seems like a Neftali-type situation. Walden has to lose the job back to Rodney. Fernando can’t win it back by just being good (as remote as that even seems). By June, Walden can be a Donkeycorn and never look back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kendrys Morales – Took BP. Where? To court for the oil spill? *rereading news report* Oh! Batting practice. That’s a good sign. If someone lost patience with Kendrys, I’d buy him for sixty cents on the dollar. No more though, he could be a setback away from missing another month. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Many things have changed since December when we kicked off the 2011 fantasy baseball sleeper posts. For one, the date. For two, some of these guys are no longer that sleepery. For three, hut-hut-hike! As long as you don’t reach too far, sleepers can make all the difference on your team. You’re not grabbing a sleeper in the first round. You’re not like, “Hey, Swiggy Cabrera, you go threaten death on the shot girl, I’m going with Juan Miranda.” You should have a solid foundation in the first eight to ten rounds, then mix some sleepers in after that. If you click on the names for these players, there’s entire posts about some of them with their 2011 projections. It’s magical! Anyway, here’s some sleepers for 2011 fantasy baseball:
Shaun Marcum – Member back in December when he was first traded and I started raving about him? We were younger back then and you had more hair. Also, Marcum was still sleepery then. Now? Not so much. Seems like everywhere I look people are abuzz with excitement over Marcum. Assuming you don’t pay too high of a price, he can still have value. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2011 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2011 projections. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2011 fantasy baseball. Now, guys (and three girl readers), I am not saying avoid catchers like Napoli, Geovany Soto, et al (which is not the Israeli airline). To get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall. And, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2011 fantasy baseball:
J.P. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Went over the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball and top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball. Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball. The top 20 catchers are the glass of warm milk right before you go to sleep. Hey, I just drafted Jorge Posada! Snooze. I love Kurt Suzuki this year! Yawn. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Chris Snyder? Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Napoli. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2011 fantasy baseball under 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2011 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the clubhouse after last night’s game, the Nats watched as ESPN reported Strasburg wasn’t pitching until Friday so there was nothing to talk about. Nothing to say about Adam Dunn. Nothing to say about that Zimmerman guy. Josh Will-something… They couldn’t even remember his name. The team stopped watching the highlights, upset they were nothing but Anthony Edwards to Strasburg’s Clooney. Knowing something had to be done, Dunn left the clubhouse as he always had – by reaching up, removing the ceiling and climbing out. Then he jumped on the back of a blue ox and circled the globe until time rewound to before the game. Dunn then went out and hit his 18th, 19th and 20th homers while rocking a .280 average on the year. Now after the game, ESPN reported Dunn hit 3 homers, specifying it came just two days prior to Strasburg’s next start. Dunn shrugged, it was a start as he ripped the blue ox’s leg off and had dinner. Hee-haw! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Desmond – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Now has 6 homers and 6 steals on the year. Ever heard of the slow boat to China? Yeah, Desmond’s on the slow boat to 12/12. Please, blog, may I have some more?