Alberto Callaspo was traded to the Angels. Exactly what the Angels needed, a light hitting infielder. Oh, wait, no they don’t. Why’d they get Callaspo? To get Mel Gibson to be interested in the team? Oh, wait, that was Apocalypto. Anyone see that movie? I like the part where Mel’s like, “I will slap the taste out of your mouth, Pocohontas! So help me, I will rip your neck off! Even if I have to go through a number of metal rings.” Callaspo will help the Angels more than he’ll help fantasy teams. He is what he is. Light power, decent average, next-to-no speed. The Royals will go with Wilson Betemit at third base. Why are they not going with Mike Moustakas or Alex Gordon? Because for whatever reason the Royals are punishing them. If you can figure out the peasant Royals, you get a cookie. I actually like Betemit if he’s the everyday 3rd baseman. He has 4 homers and a .377 average in 61 ABs this year. As for “Of Maicer Men,” I think Callaspo is more Lennie than George. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
David DeJesus – Slammed into the outfield wall when DeJesus was turning a Jeter out into a homer. He’s listed as day-to-day, which is trade deadline code for “Please still trade us someone for DeJesus, he’s really, really healthy.” In reality, he’ll probably be out for a while. So, while Betemit might replace Callaspo, here’s a chance for Gordon to see some daylight. We’ll see now how much sense the Royals make. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Lindstrom threw 1 IP, 2 ER and his second blown save in two games and third in his last four. If you’re not reading this until Sunday, he probably blew another game. Oops, there goes another one. I grabbed Brandon Lyon in two leagues where he was available. If it was simply Lindstrom sucking, I’d say you can hold off, but Lindstrom said he has mechanical issues. You know what mechanical issues are code for, right? A breakdown. In the mean’s while, Lyon is just okay. If I said he was good, I’d be (Mad Lib in your own pun). But Lyon does have closing experience, so there’s that junebug on the duck’s back or some other yokelism. As for Matt Capps, his rope is a bit longer, but his shakes haven’t been great either. Yesterday, he went 2/3 IP, 3 unearned runs and the third time he was Cappsized this year. Ticker shock due to Cristian Guzman playing about fifty feet too far behind 2nd. It was Guzman’s third error of the game. [mind-boggling] I realize the Nats are the Nots without Guzman and all, but there really should’ve been a defensive replacement in this game. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dontrelle Willis, the flat-billed pitchypus in question, was traded to the Diamondbacks for a half-used #2 pencil and a race car-shaped eraser. When a team trades a guy and still has to pay the majority of his salary, it’s usually not a good sign. I have maintained in the past that maybe the only thing eating at Dontrelle was the Tigers taking away the best aspect of his game –> his hitting. It’s still not a reason to pick him up. It’s not like the Diamondbacks stadium is a pitchers’ haven. Let someone else take the flat-billed pitchypus under their wing and nurture it back to health. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Teixeira – Day-to-day after he left the game with a bruised foot, which is far less tasty than a braised foot. Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is a moderate Buy. I wanted to find a player that would make you excited to buy, but I also wanted to cover Grady Sizemore. I owed it to you, loyal Razzball reader. So here we are. Grady has NOT (Hey, it’s Caps Night!) been terribly unlucky. I know BABIP makes you say WTF, but I need to go there super quick. His BABIP shows a guy that isn’t that far off from his career mark. His line drive rate is around its norm and his fly ball rate is down. His K-rate is up and his walk rate is down. So to break this down into your Leisure Suit Larry terms, I think he’s pressing (that’s what the walks and Ks are telling me), his average should go up (his line drives), which should help his steals (guessing). There’s got to be some homers in his bat. Guy just doesn’t lose his shizz at 27. Actually, they’re supposed to gain it. I wouldn’t pay more than sixty cents on the dollar, but I would buy Grady. The Indians are despised, according to the Wall Street Journal (that’s real PC there, WSJ), but that doesn’t mean Grady needs to be. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the post, I wanted to tell everyone I’m in Austin this weekend to attend Rudy’s wedding. I won’t be near a computer for the weekend, so please help each other. You can do it! Now make me proud. Anyway II, here’s the post…
Brandon Wood – I will now attempt to avoid any Wood puns. As I opine… Dah! If you’re hard up… Gah! I give up, grab Wood. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Jones is not on a great team. He’s not hitting well. Not to be blunt, but he doesn’t even look like he’s getting stoned anymore in his ESPN profile pic. SOS to Adam Jones, it’s past 4:20, cuz. Grab some Crunk Juice and be fire. Right now, his BABIP, line drive rate, home run rate and walk rate are all way off. Bundle some non-investment-grade triple-B bonds make it seem like a triple-A tranche and trade them for Adam Jones. I.e. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally, Jacoby Ellsbury hits the DL. This is probably a DL trip of less than a week. At least the Sawx hope so. Was also revealed Mike Cameron will miss a few weeks with a strained abdomen. (Shouldn’t it be a strained abdoman?) If Cameron needs surgery, he could miss up to two months. Darnell McDonald was called up. Darnell McDonald is the answer to the question, “Who is Darnell McDonald?” Other questions his name could’ve answered were, “Who’s the thirty-one year prospect in the outfield?” “This is the Red Sox depth?” and “Wait, what?” Old McDonald has some speed…. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With more outfielders than G-Unit feuds, we take it to the top 60 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball. These guys may seem like they’re not worth the effort, but remember last year Adam Jones, Nelson Cruz and Justin Upton were found here. As with the other 2010 fantasy baseball rankings, where tiers start and stop are mentioned and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:
41. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the recaps for hitters. (Here’s all the final 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. They’re also to your left… your other left. And down.) Pitching recap will begin next. (NOTE: The end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course. This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight. Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect? No. It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did.) Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and shortstops for 2009 have been accounted for. Up now, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. Lots of surprises in the top 20 for 3rd basemen. On top, Mini-Donkey, Figgy, Longoria and Kung Fu Panda, which sounds like an anime cartoon that has a 75% chance of giving you a seizure. (BTW, anyone ever watch anime? It’s about giant robots that want to be loved. That shizz is depressing.) Then when you get to around the halfway mark-o, the drop off is precipitous. Please, blog, may I have some more?