So, how’s everyone holding up without fantasy baseball every day?  I don’t know what to do with myself!  This week I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Aaron Sanchez for 2017.  Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave.  We’ve gone over the final 2016 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters.  This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15.  That’s hardcore nerd shizz!  This is simply fantasy baseball, we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle.  So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left.  You’re welcome.  I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2017 rookies.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

papiout

Today, ladies and gentlemen, is officially the last day of school. And by school I mean me writing fantasy baseball posts in 2016. Over the next few months I’m sure Grey will take a gander at the numbers to determine if yours truly will be back in 2017. Hopefully my eight remaining followers have enough pull to see me through to the other side and get me invited back to Razzball Spring Training. But if not, it’s been a good run. This post is my 94th baseball-related post. I have big incentives in my contract if I make it one hundred, so I hope that doesn’t influence Grey’s decision in a negative way. There are a lot of hungry points league writers out there that just might be willing do what I do for even less. Will they be as cool as I am? Doubtful. As funny? Certainly not. And lastly, will they have the maturity level of a third grader? I certainly hope so. Here’s to hoping Grey just flips a two-headed coin.

Before I jump the gun and start saying any official goodbyes, I think we should take a look back at 2016 and what happened in points leagues…

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Mets outfielder Michael Conforto was 2-for-3 last night, scoring two runs with his 12th home run, and three RBI. Could this be the start of something big? Who’s Conforto, you ask? Lol, you pleb–Don’t you know anything? He’s just an uber prospect for the New York Mets.  *Sips cold brew coffee, adjust horn rimmed glasses, strokes beard* Sigh. You’ve probably never heard of him. Have I mentioned he’s the hipster’s favorite player? Do I really have to mention that? The man hit .365 with four homers, 11 doubles and 18 RBI in April, then completely fell of the planet. He was busy working on his documentary film/visual novel/app for dogs. Sitting in an abandoned warehouse turned secret speakeasy/corn hole arena/craft cider house/live-bluegrass music cafe, I sip my gluten-free organic cold brew coffee (cage-free beans, obv) and curl my finely waxed mustache, pondering what life would be like with a fantasy baseball championship. I put down my Gabriel García Márquez book (I only read South American novelists), let my hair free out of its man-bun, and realize that Michael Conforto could be the key to everything. All that magical realism is really paying off! Sure, he struggled mightily all year, and sure, Jay Bruce threatens to steal some of his playing time. But Bruce is also 2-for-31 (.065 BA) in the past two weeks, and Conforto’s got all the upside. If I were you, and I’m not, because I’m obviously way hipper than you, I’d grab Michael Conforto, who’s available in about 90% of fantasy leagues, before he gets hot. In fact, this could only make you cooler because when he does finally break out, that means you picked him up before he was cool. And there’s nothing cooler than that!

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:

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Not quite as spiritually moving as John Lennon, but imagine for a moment Jose Abreu were to actually put together two solid halves in the same year.  “Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try.  No ‘He’ll end up below Andrus,’ for half the year.  Above Andrus only this Jose guy.  Imagine Abreu playing a decent, full season like today.  Aha-ha…  Imagine there’s no countries.  It isn’t hard to do.  Nothing to drop or trade for, and no ‘Abreu’s so cold it’s like this hell has a fridge in it’ too.  Imagine all the people living to get a piece of…Abreu…  You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one!  I hope some day Abreu’ll be better than Andrus, and play an entire season as one.”  So, Jose Abreu hit two homers yesterday (3-for-7, 7 RBIs, and 21st and 22nd HRs), and he’s been great recently, but it’s hard to get that excited about a guy for 2017 who invariably takes three months off every year.  Can’t imagine he’s a top 25 player ever again.  You-WHO-OOH!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t you just love when baseball fate takes over? Or maybe it’s just the expanded rosters in September. Either way, we’re getting a glimpse of the New Kids On The Block. Jose De Leon is the one we’ve been waiting on – at least as far as pitchers are concerned. He’s got “The Right Stuff.” I mean, come on Jose…..”Baby I believe in you.” If you’ve had a chance to watch him in action this season in Triple A, you know he’s been “Hangin’ Tough.” Okay….that’s enough of the song titles. I mean…I wouldn’t want to waste what’s left of your “Summertime.” I’m done. I promise. Anyway, Jose has a very soft landing spot for his major league debut. He’ll face the Padres in a home tilt where the Dodgers are heavy favorites and for good reason. San Diego owns a 25% strikeout rate, which is second worst in baseball and they’re the proud owners of an 87 wRC+ which qualifies for third worst in the league. If that’s not bad enough, their OBP is a paltry .300 and they’re slugging .395. So what I’m trying to say is……this is a very favorable start. De Leon has produced a 33% strikeout rate in 86 innings (111 Ks) at Triple-A Oklahoma City this year, while registering a 2.61 ERA, 0.94 WHIP and 2.71 FIP. More good news! His price tag today is a very reasonable $7,700 – that’s an insane value. Sounds good right? I thought so. Thank me later internet friends.

Here’s a look at the rest of my picks for Sunday’s slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday, September 5th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

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Gerrit Cole has an injured arm, possibly elbow spurs.  I love this scenario:  a pitcher throws like garbage for weeks then the team announces he’s hurt.  Love, love, love.  This is my favorite.  Five innings, five runs, but it’s likely nothing, just a bad start.  Cut to five weeks later of terrible starts.  “Oh, yeah, he’s got a torn tendon/elbow spur/missing forearm due to lost baggage.  Oops!  We should’ve sent him to a doctor six starts ago.  Our bad!”  Here’s what I said after his last start, “I don’t know what’s going on with Cole, but I’d guess injury or dead arm.”  And that’s me quoting me!  How is it that I can guess there’s a problem but a major league team can’t figure shizz out?  That should never be possible.  I couldn’t even pass Bio 101, and a MLB team has a staff of doctors.  Seriously, how does this happen?  I want answers!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

First and foremost, I’d like to thank all of the loyal readers out there in the Kingdom of Razz. I’d also like to apologize, kinda. You see, what I’m about to do makes me feel dirty. There’s no way I would’ve considered this earlier in the season. Ultimately, the time has come. I’m suggesting Ivan Nova for your DFS pleasure this afternoon. I need a shower. Hopefully he’ll pitch well enough that I won’t end up crying in the shower. That’s another story for another blog. Anyway, here’s the thing…..He’s facing the Brewers and they’re extremely generous when it comes to swings and misses. Milwaukee leads the majors with a 25.2% strikeout rate and over the last 7 days that number jumps to 27.2%. That’s certainly not optimal if you find yourself rooting for the home team. For today, that’s music to our prospective daily fantasy ears. Their .316 wOBA lands them right in the middle of the pack and the .156 ISO they’ve produced thus far shouldn’t scare you away either.

As far as Nova is concerned, he’s never had issues with his control as his 1.91 BB/9 suggests – so he shouldn’t stuff the bases with potential landmines. In fact, ever since the trade from the Yankees, he’s held opponents to nine runs over 25 1/3 innings and produced a 3-0 record in his four starts. To his credit, Nova is doing a fantastic job keeping the ball on the ground, producing a 2.25 GB/FB ratio which to be honest has played a big part in his remarkable turn around since being dealt to the Pirates. So there you have it amigos, take advantage of his $8,000 price tag, put on your Sunday chaps and jump on the back of my Hog – We’re left lane cruising to Nova Nova land.

Here’s a look at my favorite suggestions for today’s action:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 29th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Sunday, Nolan Arenado broke out of a mini-slump and hit his first home run since August 8. He couldn’t have asked for a better matchup this week than the one that he gets on Tuesday night against Chase Anderson and the Brewers. This game is on the road, so it doesn’t have quite the positive effect on hitters, but Miller Park is one of the more hitter friendly parks in the league–it just isn’t Coors on a hot summer night. Arenado has owned Anderson throughout his career, hitting three home runs in 20 career at-bats against the righty. Priced at just $4,500, Arenado is actually reasonable. If he goes on an extended hot streak, his price will surely jump, so use him at a mild bargain. You’ll see below who I recommend building your lineup around. Arenado comes in right behind the burly right-hander from the North Side of Chicago.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 29th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

For the fantasy owners who drafted Chris Archer back in March, the answer to the question posed in the title is likely quite simple: no, he can’t be trusted. And, well, it’s difficult to argue against the fact that he has been disappointing this season. His earned run average has jumped nearly a full run from last year (3.23 to 4.18), and his 7-16 win-loss record looks like it came directly off of the back of Steve Trachsel’s baseball card. The only thing that seemingly hasn’t changed is his propensity to strike hitters out at an elite rate (his 10.66 K/9 is the 7th highest rate among qualified starting pitchers). Other than the strikeouts, everything else appears to have regressed. So what’s going on with Archer? Can he turn things around or was 2015 just a career year?

Let’s take a look at Archer’s profile to determine what can be expected from him moving forward. Here are a few thoughts and observations:

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Twenty-six years after my Lord and Savior, Reggie Jackson, retired from professional baseball to collect cars, full-length fur coats and start a business where you use cocktail franks as cocktail stirrers, I saw a young Mariner by the name of Brad Miller.  To this day, when you Google “Brad Miller sleeper,” you still see archival footage of Grey’s massive excitement — that’s not what she said!  I was jazzed back in 2013 because Miller had hit 20 HRs, stole 11 bases and over .300 between the majors and minors.  Then 2014 and 2015 happened, Miller did nothing, and I retreated into my cubby hole of snack food that I eat out of sight from my Cougar wife.  “I’m snacking on kale, baby doll!”  “Grey, you sound louder than usual.”  I was being amplified due to eating a nacho cheese Bugle.  Finally, this year I was sure not to own Miller anywhere.  So, of course, he breaks out.  Yesterday, Brad Miller went 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 25th homer, 5th homer this week, while hitting .265.  On our 30-day Player Rater, Miller is 5th most valuable for hitters.  The top 4 –> Blackmon, Hamilton, Braun, Betts.  Yeah, pretty good company, like Reggie’s cocktail frank stirrers’ company, The Dog That Stirs The Drink, Inc.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?