In honor of St. Patrick’s Day, I’m going to stumble through some baseball-related drunken lullabies, (mostly) rants labeled as poetry, and a token haiku. If you read between the lines, you just may even find some potentially useful fantasy advice. See what I did there?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Chipper Jones
Well, if the Dodgers really do have the Magic touch, they better get Zack Greinke some aid. Greinke flew back to LA yesterday and, boy, is his elbow tired. I say, “Blame it on Harang,” but I say like I’m Milli Vanilli. Greinke’s MRI came back clean, and Dr. Neal ElAttrache diagnosed him with inflammation. Is it me or does Dr. Neal ElAttrache’s last name look like those sneaker/slippers Nike used to make in the 90′s? Any the hoo! Dr. Neal Air Huarache gave Greinke some anti-inflammatory medication and the news has been positive (after the negative news). I really to the third power dislike pitchers with elbow issues, but Greinke is supposed to be able to throw again in a few days. I haven’t moved him yet in my 2013 fantasy baseball rankings, but I’m going to be watching this situation like I’m a cyclops with a monocle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:
Please, blog, may I have some more?You know how when you turn on the lights in my bedroom, the cockroaches scatter? Well, maybe you didn’t know. Okay, say Hodgepadres are the cockroaches and the lights are from any stadium but Petco. You following the analogy? Good, let’s add another layer.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Josh Vitters and Brett Jackson were called up on Sunday. Here’s what I just said on Friday when I told you to pick Vitters up, “(He) comes with high expectations simply because Cubs fans are like a 104-year-old virgin who would just love to touch the playoffs’ boobies.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Brennan Boesch is hitting near .400 in July and I said he could be the biggest surprise of the 2nd half on our fantasy baseball podcast. Let’s get in our DeLorean for a moment… Geez, it smells like sitting inside a TV dinner.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s not the Year of the Tiger, but don’t tell Doug Fister that. And don’t ask Mr. Fister to sing Kyrie, because that song kills kittens. Fact! He just followed up a strong start @BAL with a dominating performance against the T & T Angels: 8 IP, 10K, 1 ER, 4 baserunners.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Andrew McCutchen went 3-for-4 with his 21st homer yesterday, and now has five homers in his last 4 games. On the year, he’s batting .371. For s’s and g’s, I went back to look at April comments about McCutchen when he had zero homers and only 7 RBIs through the first month.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Four full days without fantasy baseball!? I know, it was brutal. How are we possibly supposed to keep ourselves occupied when we’re not refreshing our team pages every two minutes? In all seriouslyness, there are plenty of alternatives to constantly monitoring your team, for example: speak to a loved one, watch the All-Star Game (yaaaawn), go outside, play real baseball (have a catch with the old man?), Google cat videos, or if you dare not venture too far out of your comfort zone, perhaps you can start to prepare for your fantasy football draft?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) held on to the lead with 109 points while Navseal 7 in the tough RCL 9 rocketed up to 2nd with 106. AdamH (Sleeve of Wizard – RCL 43) is 3rd at 104, followed by Pig Charmer (Grunge Ball – RCL 16), Simply fred (The Fredsies – ECFBL), and Bill Hodgeman (Team Hodgeman – Toads n Wet Rocks) with 102 points.
Please, blog, may I have some more?