Jackie Bradley Jr. walked three times in one game. Have you people forgotten he walked three times…IN ONE GAME! Yeah, that’s old news for the Sons of Sam Horn. They have a new fish to park in Harvard Yard. There’s going to be a new man in Bo’ town soon. The master of no disaster, the king of that’s a purdy swing, the man who once impregnated a lady by looking at her while he was in the batter’s box, Mookie Betts. Oh, you better, you better, you Betts! I usually don’t get caught up in the thrill of the rookie chase (Ha! Of course I do, I’m a damn fool!), but this one looks like he might be mollywhopping like, well, a middle infielder and stealing bases like, well, a middle infielder. Now, now, no deflating. He does look like he can be special and should have middle infield eligibility, which ups the how’s your father just a bit. He stole 22 bases in 54 games in Double-A, but he was completely overmatching people there. Okay, in Triple-A, he’s doing the same. He’s putting up Atari numbers everywhere he goes in the minor leagues. Hard to imagine it continues in the majors, but, if it did, he’d be a 15-homer, 35-steal guy. Sounds like another Red Sox middle infielder from once upon a time ago (no, not dyslexic Ramon). The one that they shipped off to Florida (Hanley Ramirez). If Mookie is available in your league and you have room, I’d stash him. It sounds like he could be up in the landmark case of sooner vs. later. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you’re a regular listener to the Razzball Hot Sheet and Razzball Radio then you know I wear a handsome turban and we Razzicians love our wOBA. “Guru, what the hell is wOBA?” That’s a great question disembodied voice of Razzball Nation that sounds slightly like my ex-girlfriend. Brenda, stop stalking me! When it comes to my daily routine for DraftKings there are a few things I do: 1) Drink a Bloody Mary. 2) Check the daily salaries, cross out the overvalued guys. 3) Check the weather and the Vegas lines. 4) Look at batter vs. pitcher stats then ignore them. 5) Dive into the wOBA and drink another Bloody. Basically, wOBA (weighted on-base average) is a way to measure a hitter’s overall offensive performance. wOBA is calculated by giving a value to each type of offensive stat including walks, singles, doubles, etc. with the player’s totals for each being combined and then divided by their total plate appearances to arrive at their weighted on-base average. That explains why I have this tattooed on my chest all Memento-style: (0.72 x NIBB) + (0.75 x HBP) + (0.90 x 1B) + (0.92 x RBOE) + (1.24 x 2B) + (1.56 x 3B) + (1.95 x HR) / PA. Math is fun! Thanks, handy abacus. If you’re curious to learn more check out The Book: Playing the Percentages in Baseball by Tom Tango and some other aliens that have a love for baseball stats and anal probing.
We have 12 games on the night slate with a couple aces on the mound in Clayton Kershaw and Felix Hernandez along with some pricey big bats that’ll make putting together a solid team a challenge. Fortunately, we have the Hitter-Tron, the Stream-o-Nator and the DFSbot to help us out. Is that cheating? Hell, no! We’re Razzaholics. Let’s get to it, here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s all-wOBA team for Wednesday 5/28. Of course all these players won’t fit on one team, but there’s a good chance you can get more than a few of them in tonight.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I put a poster of David DeJesus up on my bedroom wall. Cougs said to me, “Grey, why do we have a picture of David DeJesus on our bedroom wall?” She was right. It was silly to put DeJesus up on my wall. So I cut out his face, cut out his lips, cut out his eyes and taped it around her face with masking tape, so she could see and talk to me through DeJesus. Then I asked my religious poster-ography if it could please leave my sweet, sweet upside pitchers alone. DeJesus said back to me, “Yes, can you please untape this thing from my head now?” DeJesus spoke to me! Too bad I didn’t do this prior to Yordano Ventura going out and getting rocked (2 2/3 IP, 5 ER) and then complaining after the game of elbow discomfort. Dah! As we know by now, no pitchers get away with elbow discomfort without a DL stint. The MRI will either lead him to a 15-day DL stint or a 12-18 month one. Lowercase yay. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
King Salomon Brothers, the overseer of the Iron Bank, was mortgaging castles that he shouldn’t have been and fighting to get repaid, so he decided to sell his crown that was bespeckled in quinoa and Boca Burgers. The crown itself was worth more than all castles together. The world could be saved of economic ruin if the crown could get safely to the world’s largest pawn broker, Wei-Yin Chains. Unable to leave the kingdom himself, King Salomon Brothers gave Prince Fielder the crown, entrusting it to his overweight son, knowing if there was one person not interested in the healthy adornments on the crown it would be he. Unfortunately, heavy is the neck that wears Prince’s crown, and he gobbled up the crown like he gobbled up all the fantasy trust I put in him when I drafted this man the size of four horses. Goddammit! Dubya tee eff, doode! You can’t put on a neck brace and get up to bat? Shoot some cortisone is your cellulite! DAH!!! The only positive in this travesty that has befallen the fattest POS in the seven kingdoms? You’ll get to drop him! Fielder exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, I hate you. Sincerely, Your Drafter. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Santana finally seems to be showing signs of life in the past week. Despite a league-leading 35 walks, his .328 OBP is merely average. I’m confident that he will continue to approach his typical ~.370 OBP going forward. He’s not hitting as many line drives as you’d like to see, but this seems to be one of those situations where his BABIP should improve somewhat dramatically. On a different note, I was blown away by this year’s Riot Fest lineup. Anybody going this year? It was definitely a good time last year. Anyway, here are some other guys on my mind and what it means in OBP leagues:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m going to take a different approach to this week’s Deep Impact post and talk about my up-to-this-point woulda-coulda-shoulda team, and point out the surprises with whom I think will have a sustainable, deep into-the-season impact. I’m omitting the non-surprises i.e. Adam Wainwright, Felix Hernandez, and Jose Fernandez who are naturally in the top-20 so long as they stay healthy.
Here are thine options (within the top-100) to date with their ESPN Player Rater rankings in parenthesis as of Friday, 4/25:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Giancarlo Stanton ($5,800) is locked in to start the season, hitting .329 with six homers and 26 runs batted in. He’s taking his walks as well, but when the young slugger gets a pitch to hit, he’s not missing. Hitter-Tron is liking him to the tune of $40 for this Easter Sunday / four-twenty festivus for the rest of us. Where did we hide the Easter baskets, guys? Nobody can remember, but someone ate all of the Peeps. Not cool. I’m liking Stanton today against Blake Beavan, who’s got a great name but a not-so-great arm.
Let’s crack a few Easter eggs and make a DFS omelette, shall we? As always, there are some great tools here at Razzball for daily match-ups. The Hitter-Tron and Stream-o-Nator will give you an idea of each hitter and pitcher value for the day. If you’re thinking about getting your feet wet in daily fantasy sports, sign up with our friends at DraftKings. In addition to the daily contests, there’s also a big Sweet Spot event happening that you really need to check out. Sign up via our promo and get a free ticket. Here are today’s picks…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Zimmerman should just join a kickball league. His upper stuff doesn’t work right. He’s got a bad case of waist-up-is-not-up-to-snuff-is. He should tent his entire body, because he’s got an infestation of the bad health termites. They lay dormant, living off of bacteria that is produced naturally by your secretions. Then one day you wake up and you dive into the 2nd base bag and break your thumb. The preceding was taken directly from WebMD, I can’t vouch for its accuracy. It’s a thumbpocalypse! So, Zimmerman’s gonna be out for six weeks with a broken thumb. I’d point out that I told you on Friday to sell him, but that’s in poor taste. As would simply pointing and laughing at you. Mostly due to the fact, I don’t know where you are, you don’t return my phone calls! So, put Zimmerman on your DL, and let’s pray his shoulder gets miraculously better in the mean’s while. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Raise your hand if you got burned by Justin Masterson‘s last two starts. If you detect a touch of Old Spice deodorant and bitterness that’s because I’ve got both of my arms straight up in the air on this one. Bet you’re wondering how I can still type. That’s a trade secret Sky taught me. I haven’t been this mad at an Indian since I caught my neighbor Joe Charboneau peeing on my rose bushes. Don’t think I can’t see you Super Joe! As our fearless leader, George W. Bush used to say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…you can’t get fooled again.”
That’s why this week I’m learning my lesson and going for the ace instead of trying to get cute with pitching values. Which leads me to this week’s pick, Max Scherzer, whose nice match-up against the Padres and all-around goodness make him a great start today. He’s perched atop the Stream-o-Nator at a $25 value, and while he’ll cost you $11,900 to roster, he’s worth every penny.
As always, the Hitter-Tron and the Stream-O-Nator are your best friends in this DraftKings venture. Their cold, emotionless robot minds are perfect for gambling. Signing up for DraftKings is easy…just click here. There’s also a great contest happening now called the Sweet Spot. Good luck and let’s look at some of the other picks for today…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I don’t practice Santeria. I ain’t got no crystal ball. Well, if I had $6, I’d spend it all…
…I’d spend it on these Corner Infielders (owned <10% on ESPN as of 4/3)! They are placed in the order of my zeal, because my zeal smells nice and fresh. What does that even mean? Post now includes bonus CI Prospect list as well! (And maybe thermal packaging. What can I say? It’s a demand-driven commodity.) Follow me after the jump to find out what this all means… maybe.Please, blog, may I have some more?