Fantasy Baseball Advice

We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009.  Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen.  The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post).  Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers.  The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys.  The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away.  The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned.  At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto.  Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season.  I have a few.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Chase Utley – He was my choice for NL MVP in the preseason.  He’s going to be my 2010 NL MVP preseason selection.  Probably will be my 2011 preseason NL MVP choice and maybe my pick in 2012.  Then, one day when Pujols is not only hurt, but plays hurt, Utley will win it.  Preseason Rank #1, 2009 Projections:  105/29/105/.295/10, Final Numbers: 112/31/93/.282/23

2. Aaron Hill – Let’s get it out of the way upfront, there was some surprises in the 2nd basemen rankings.  We (or you) can sit there and say to yourself, “Gadzooks, Grey did a terrible job of ranking the 2nd basemen.”  First, who says gadzooks?  Are you in a comic strip?  Second, no one ranked Aaron Hill, Ben Zobrist, Marco Scutaro, Adam Kennedy et al anywhere near the top fifteen coming into the season.  There’s the top guys and there’s the bottom guys at MI.  This is why I usually punt the middle and avoid middle infielders between rounds 7 and 15.  Either get a top one, or ignore and take a flier later.  More will be said on this in the offseason.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  103/36/108/.286/6

3. Robinson Cano -  Someone has a terrific season the previous year (Pedroia, Hamilton) and I pulled back for 2009.  A player craps the bed in the previous season (Robinson Cano) and I got excited about them for 2009.  This is the story of my life with women too.  Kick me in the nads and I’ll buy you steel-tipped boots.  Preseason Rank #8, 2009 Projections:  80/18/85/.310/3, Final Numbers:  103/25/85/.320/5

4. Brian Roberts – My predicted numbers weren’t that far off from where he ended up.  Didn’t like him in April of 2008, didn’t like him in April of 2009, I think I might like him a bit more in 2010 because he’s finally become predictable.  Predictable is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.  Preseason Rank #6, 2009 Projections:  105/10/50/.285/30, Final Numbers:  110/16/79/.283/30

5. Ben Zobrist – Almost surprising as his season is his Christian faith (come on, his name is screaming for a mohel).  Everyone knows the good, so let’s look at the glass half empty.  17/52 and 11 steals with a .297 average in the 1st half.  In the 2nd half, 10/39 in 9 more at-bats.  Not terrible, just not as good.  His eligibility definitely helped offset the regression.   Nevertheless, it was there.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  91/27/91/.297/17

6. Ian Kinsler – It’s great to finally see what he’s capable of over an entire season.  He’s a liability on average, plus speed and nearly as solid as Utley elsewhere.  Preseason Rank #2, 2009 Projections:  110/23/80/.280/25, Final Numbers:  101/31/86/.253/31

7. Dustin Pedroia – This was the season I was worried about when I advised people (that’s you!) to stay away from Pedrioa.  Was 2009 a terrible season?  No, I never thought for one second he’d be terrible.  I just didn’t buy into him as a 2nd round pick and a repeat of his MVP season.  Preseason Rank #5, 2009 Projections:  110/15/75/.310/15, Final Numbers:  115/15/72/.296/20

8. Brandon Phillips – For some reason, no one seems to trust Phillips.  20/20 for three seasons straight and he gets no respect.  Whatevs, I’ll keep owning him since no one else wants to.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  90/25/80/.270/25, Final Numbers:  78/20/98/.276/20

9. Asdrubal Cabrera – With a swift kick to the nuts, the tomato-tomahto portion of the program begins.  It didn’t really matter which of these guys you owned, they were all productive at some points during the season and yawnstipating at other times.  Preseason Rank #21, 2009 Projections:  90/12/60/.275/10, Final Numbers:  81/6/68/.308/17

10. Marco Scutaro – If you would’ve told me in February there would be two Blue Jay 2nd basemen in the top 10, I would’ve punched you in the mouth.  MAR…co… SCUT…aro… had a decent season for a guy that probably wasn’t even owned in your league for a third of the season and returned from Asia with pasta.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  100/12/60/.282/14

11. Adam Kennedy – Gene Rayburn, “2nd base is so shallow…”  You, “How shallow is it?”  Kennedy had only a good May and September and he’s ranked 11th overall.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  65/11/63/.289/20

12. Felipe Lopez -  You would think a guy whose ADP was 213 and who is ranked this high would have been a huge success.  You’d be dead wrong.  So many times I wanted to cut the Fe-Lopezian tubes, then he’d go and have a 1-for-3 game with 1 Run and I’d hold him.  Ugh, he had one of the more frustrating seasons.  How does he only steal 6 bases all year?!  Ryan Howard stole 8 bases!  Preseason Unranked, but he did make the Cheap Alternatives post, Final Numbers:  88/9/57/.310/6

13. Jose Lopez – I usually go with speed at MI, but, if you needed power there, J. Lo turned in a perfectly respectable season.  I would’ve taken his season over F. Lo any day of the week and twice on Muesday.  Preseason Rank #10, 2009 Projections:  80/15/85/.280/5, Final Numbers:  69/25/96/.272/3

14. Alexei Ramirez – When you’re ranked within sneezing distance of Luis Castillo, I hope you get Swine Flu.  Ramirez had one good month (May, 7 homers, 2 steals while batting .283) and 4 yawnstipating months.  How does he only steal 4 bases from June 19th on?  I think I’ve found my first candidate of the offseason that I won’t be drafting on any teams in 2010.  No matter what stories come out of spring training. Alexei has never seen the ball this well before! Alexei gained 120 of muscle mass! Alexei can go to hell.  Preseason Rank #4, 2009 Projections:  95/22/90/.285/15, Final Numbers:  71/15/68/.277/14

15. Maicer Izturis – Maicer, what goes on?  Maicer…  It’s funny all the people ending the season at exactly .300 or just over it.  Don’t make me get Vin Scully to recount the story of how Ted Williams started both sides of a doubleheader while sitting on .400 for the season.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/8/65/.300/13

16. Alberto Callaspo – I liked him in the preseason, but even with that like, I couldn’t generate the enthusiasm to draft him anywhere.  Let’s face it, his mother barely gets excited about his hitting.  Was also mentioned in that Cheap Alternatives thingamapost, Final Numbers:  79/11/73/.300/2

17. Luis Castillo – Please don’t make me say anything about Castillo.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  77/1/40/.302/20

18. Placido Polanco – Placido Polanco is Yoda to Callaspo’s Luke.  Can we just call these guys Polancallaspo?  Preseason Rank #14, 2009 Projections:  90/7/55/.310/7, Final Numbers:  82/10/72/.285/7

19. Dan Uggla – Even with how awful this list is, Aramis Ramirez, with 2nd base eligibility, would not have made this list.  Yes, 2nd base was deeper than 3rd base.  Bring back steroids!  Preseason Rank #7, 2009 Projections:  85/30/100/.255/5, Final Numbers:  84/31/90/.243/2

20. Clint Barmes – This is one of my big problems with the ESPN Player Rater (this is where these rankings come from; makes it less subjective).  I’d rank Barmes as the last guy you’d want and above all the tomato-tomahtos.  I don’t really mind the average, but his homers and steals were valuable.  This is how I ended up with Mark Reynolds on all my teams in 2009 and how I will probably have Barmes on some 2010 teams.  (This is not official yet, we’re still recapping.  Barmes needs an everyday job.)  Was ranked 20th as a Shortstop, 2009 Projections:  75/12/55/.270/12, Final Numbers:  69/23/76/.245/12

Hmm… Let’s see, where does the news that Josh Hamilton is headed to the DL go on the Hype Cycle?  Oh, wait!  I know!  “Falls Back to Earth, Hits the DL.” Call me, Greyvoyant!  Hamilton may be headed to the DL this Thursday if he’s still in pain.  This is obviously bad news for Hamilton owners.  As we learned from Dylan McKay’s battle with drugs on 90210, addicts can’t take pain killers.  So Hamilton is in “extreme pain” and needs to let it subside on its own.  I don’t think he’ll be out much longer than two weeks, but I’m no doctor (I am psychic though).  If Hamilton’s rib becomes a nagging type injury that bothers him for a few months, this could turn into a Def-Con 4 situation and his owners may have to jump into an Andromeda Strain decontamination shower.  For those out there with alligator blood, this may be your only opportunity to Buy Low on Hamilton.  Just remember his owners were crying in their soup last night, don’t blow on it for them.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edwin Encarnacion – Looks like his chip on his shoulder has moved to his wrist as he heads to the DL.  I liked Edwin going into the year, and was bummed to see him do nada, nada, not a damn thing this season.  At least the wrist injury explains what was going on with him.

Adam Rosales – NL-Only owners could take a flier on the Reds call-up, Rosales.  There’s no indication Baker will play him at all.  If he does, he has some pop.  He was batting .431 with 4 HRs through 17 games at Triple-A.  Not really mixed league material yet, unless your league is very deep.

Joel Hanrahan – Removed from the closer role.  Actually, he kinda removed himself.  As I said yesterday, Julian Taveras seems like the best option to me.  Kip Wells is said to be in the mix.  That mix is in the toilet bowl.  Joe Beimel is rumored to get a shot when he comes off the DL.  Might be, but if Taveras can hold the job, then Beimel will never see the chance.  Hmm… Now that I write that I must say it’s anyone’s job.  I would not carry more than one Nats reliever.  If you have an open DL spot, no harm no foul with Beimel.  I took a chance on Taveras in all of my leagues.  If it’s not him, I’m not losing sleep over it.  Just watch what you say about Taveras, he will karate kick you in the sternum.

Scott Richmond – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Not sure how long Richmond’s mastery continues because his stuff isn’t really that great, but I’ll admit it.  I started him last night in a mixed league.  Hey, lightning, you wanna get in a bottle for me?

Hideki Matsui – How many pop-ups can a lefty hit to the 2nd baseman?

Edwin Jackson – 6 IP, 0 ER. Hey, whaddya know?  He’s still looking good almost a month later.  I went over why I liked Edwin Jackson during the first week of the season.  If you weren’t here, go back and read it again.  If you were here, continue on, I start to pick up speed soon.

Phil Hughes – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks.  I told everyone to start him because we were going at this like ripping off a Band-Aid.  This was either gonna be the last time he was on anyone’s team, or he was going to be great.  Glad he climbed the latter.  His hook was complementing the speedball very nicely.  Like a well-trained gimp, his leash got longer.

Jose Valverde – To the DL.  Told you yesterday it seemed to be headed this way.  LaTroy Hawkins gets a few weeks to shake his Cuddle Boy label.

Cole Hamels – Left the game after 4 1/3 scoreless innings with an ankle injury.  Can’t a brother get a Win?  Hamels really seems cursed this year.

Jo-Jo Reyes – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I don’t mind Jo-Jo in deep mixed and NL-Only leagues.  Though in most leagues, he’s No-No.

Kyle Lohse – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Has an ERA of 1.97 on the season.  You don’t want to be there when it starts to climb up to 4.

Dave Bush - 5 IP, 4 ER. Almost threw a no-hitter last time out.  So it’s a no-brainer to start him against the Pirates, who batted Brandon Moss as their number three hitter, right?  Moss of a .220 average.  Nope, Bush took a no-brainer and made you look stupid.  (BTW, I always need spellcheck for “brain” and “genius.”  I’m a moron.)

Jorge Cantu – Took deep Livan and Sean Green (not the Jewish one) in yesterday’s game.  Cantu’s now batting .357 on the season with 5 homers.  Mmm… Me love some cheap power.

Chase Utley – Chase ordered up two homers yesterday and three strippers.

Nick Swisher – HR yesterday.  Swisher has 5 HRs and is batting .300.  At some point the bottom will fall out of the average, but he’s good for 30 home runs.  You can put it on the boardddddd…  Oh, wait, he’s no longer on the White Sox.

John Danks – 4 IP, 5 ER.  Sure, Mike Sweeney’s batting third and A-drain Beltre is at cleanup with a .169 average.  Of course, you get hit hard in this game!  Makes perfect sense!  Danks!

Mike Fontenot – HRs in back-to-back games as he played 3rd for Aramis.  He’s still batting .238 and he seems destined to be a three to four games a week guy.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks.  I almost predicted him for AL Cy Young.  That’s how much I believe.  If he can stay healthy and get some Win Karma, he could do it.  Next start, F-Her ‘n the A’s. (<–provocative!)

Chone Figgins – 2-for-3.  I give Figgins a hard time and he’s still batting .246, but he stole two bases last night to give him 9 on the season.  That’s a healthy pace.  Then again, Fowler has 9 steals and he’s batting .310.  Cust kayin’.

Mark Ellis – Calf injury, headed to the DL.

Nomar Garciaparra – Sympathy pains, to the DL.

Ian Stewart – Lookie here, Miss Moneypenny, Ee-yon Shtew-art just played his 6th game at 2nd base and, with the Polish kid benched, 2nd base eligibility could happen verrrrry quickly.

Chad Gaudin – 5 IP, 0 ER.  I’m picking him up in all kinds of deep leagues.  Hey, he’s in Petco?  Why not?

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1ER, 1.69 ERA on the season.  Begged people to draft him this season, but, let’s be fo’ realz, even I didn’t think he’d start out the year this well.  He’s not necessarily a sell because I don’t think people are buying, but he’s not going to finish the year under a 3 ERA, so he will take some lumps at some point.  Hopefully, they’re not for a while.  I’m still on the Wandwagon, just tempering expectations.  (BTW, wouldn’t Tempura Expectations be a great Japanese restaurant name?  What?  You like yakitori?)

Brad Penny – 2 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  And Penny’s usually a pre-All-Star Break pitcher.  Hmm… Looks like someone’s missing Alyssa Milano’s nooners.

Ben Zobrist – HR yesterday off the bench.  As Zobrist goes, so go the mohels.

Matt LaPorta – Ripping up Triple-A and could replace Ben Francisco, then Francisco goes and hits a HR yesterday.  LaPorta will be up soon, but soon’s relative.  Ask Stephen Hawking.

Francisco Liriano – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  He bounced back from that last mugging like Bernie Goetz.

Vernon Wells was primed for his ‘every 3rd year’ routine, but now he’s strained the same hamstring he hurt last year that caused him to miss 50+ games.  Word out of Blue Jay camp is he’ll miss at least 4 weeks.  A broken-down VW isn’t going to help your team go anywhere.  Just forget about the 30/100/.300/10 guy and think of him as that 20/80/.270/5 guy.  Hate to say it, but he’s a lot closer to Aaron Rowand than an elite fantasy OF.  The best thing to come out of Vernon’s hammy injury is Adam Lind and Travis Snider could see more time.  Anyway, here’s some other things going on during spring training that effect 2009 fantasy baseball:

Garrett Anderson – GA signed with the Braves.  This does nothing for his value.  And prior to this, he had no value.  You do the math!

Orlando Hudson – Joyce DeWitt was so proud when I anointed her son a 2009 fantasy sleeper.  Oh, well.  She’ll always have the hand she played in inventing Jiggle TV.  (And it wasn’t a hand — wokka, wokka, wokka…)  Orlando Hudson’s picture is next to the definition of yawnstipating.  You should not be drafting him in any leagues.

Blake DeWitt – His value is now K to the aput.

Nyjer Morgan – Sounds like he’ll be opening day left fielder.  Stay tuned because he could be a cheap source of steals.  SAGNOF!

Chase Utley – He’s already taking batting practice.  I think he’s the Phillies starting 2nd baseman when they take the field for their first game of the season, with him and Hamels sharing hair gel.  Does the hip effect his speed?  He steals 10 instead of 15.  I’m just hoping my drafts happen soon so I can get Utley at a discount.  You should be hoping the same thing.

Melvin Mora – He said he’s going to put up “.340, 20-plus (home runs) and 100-plus (RBIs).”  Otherwise known as Bill James’s projections for Chris Davis.

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere.  To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.  We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2009 Phillies Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of The Fightins.

1) Will Ryan Howard hit above .260 in 2009?

Yes. Yes he will.

Even I, the staunch Ryan Howard defender, can’t possibly begin to explain what the hell was going on with him at the start of 2008. By the end of May, the greatest power hitter in baseball was batting a dismal .206 with 78 punchouts; well on his way to obliterating the single-season strikeout record. He spent the better part of the summer trying to boost that first number while lowering the second. Over the next 4 months, he regained that MVP swagger and wound up hitting .273 with just 121 K’s in twice the amount of at-bats that he had in April and May.

I don’t think it would be asking too much to expect those same type of numbers throughout a full season in 2009.

For some odd reason, many baseball fans — especially in Philadelphia — don’t give Howard the propers he deserves. They think the strikeouts are way too high and average way too low, therefore dismissing the brute strength that has been known to deposit poorly-placed fastballs 25 rows deep in right field.

Me on the other hand, I have faith in the big guy. I’ll gladly take the behemoth who hits 175 homers in 3½ years, thankyouverymuch.

The point of baseball is to score more runs than the opposing team. Nobody will help you do this on a nightly-basis better than he. Because Ryan Howard just doesn’t produce — he PRODUCE.

2) When will Chase Utley return?  How do you think the surgery will change his game?

Your guess is as good as mine.  I assume he’ll miss the first month of the season, but then again, this is Chase F*cking Utley we’re talking about.  Towards the end of last year, you could really notice how the hip was bothering him.  He’d swing at pitches he usually crushes and put his head down right away knowing he didn’t get enough of it.

Chase’s offseason training regimen is sick, though.  By the end of next year, he’ll put up his usual line of .300+ BA/30+ HR/100+ RBI/100+ Runs and everyone will forget he was injured in the first place.

3) Cole Hamels avoided injuries and got above 30 starts in 2008. But does the 262 innings in 2008 worry you?  Can he stay healthy in 2009?

Yes, the increase in innings are definitely a cause for concern.

I wouldn’t dare call Cole Hamels soft (blasphemy!), but his stick-like frame and injury history would lead one to believe that a repeat performance is nearly impossible. As long as it’s nothing major, we (and by “we” I mean “the Phillies and I”) should have enough above-average pitching available (Happ, Kendrick, Carrasco) to come in and fill the void if need be.

But until he actually gets injured, I will go on believing that Cole Hamels is a cot damn iron man who will show up every fifth (or sixth) day with that outstanding change-up of his and continue to baffle MLB hitters.

Plus, he’s so dreamy!

4) The Phillie fans were notoriously hard on Mike Schmidt and Scott Rolen yet they don’t boo Pedro Feliz.  Is this because his name translates to Pete Happy or is there another reason?

There is definitely another reason, and I’m pretty sure it has something to do with being the least productive member of the greatest run-producing infield ever assembled. While Schmidt and Rolen were supposed to be the team’s main source of offense, Pete Happy is best served playing in the shadow of guys like Chase, Young James, and Big Brown.

The reason Phillies fans were so hard on Mike Schmidt and Scott Rolen was simple: they loved to complain. When a player in Philadelphia bitches about the fans, or the way they are being treated, the fans repay those players by booing the ever-loving shit out of them. Over time, we have forgiven Schmidt. He was a sensitive fellow, but at the end of the day, he was THEE greatest third baseman to ever play. Rolen on the other hand, was, is, and always shall be, a joyless prick with loads of talent who never lived up to his potential. At least now he gets to revel in the obscurity of playing for Toronto.

It’s just how he likes it, too. When no one pays attention to you, no one complains.

Say what you want about Feliz, but he was an unsung hero during the playoffs who — might I add — smacked the game-winning hit in the deciding contest of the World Series. And his glove work makes up for the fact that he can’t hit an off-speed pitch to save his life.

Seriously, why do pitchers even bother throwing him fastballs?

5) Because Raul Ibanez is boring, we’re going to end this with a Pat Burrell question.  It’s rumored that Pat Burrell was the man back in college days, earning the nickname, ‘Pat The Bat.’ (My girlfriend was a Sugarcane, the baseball team’s cheerleaders at University of Miami, and Burrell slept with a bunch of her friends.  I refuse to believe she was one of them.) So a friend of yours calls you up from a bar to tell you your wife/girlfriend is talking with a player.  Are you more worried if it’s Burrell or Brett Myers?

Rumored?!!?? That’s a FACT, brother.

Stories of Pat’s philandering — especially in his early days — are legendary around these parts. If you happen to run into an attractive girl under 30 in the Tri-State area, chances are Pat has slept with her, one of her good-looking friends, or both at the same time. Phils broadcaster Harry Kalas even told a story this year how teammates used to call him “Pat the Bait” because they would take him to a bar just so they could sample his leftovers. His LEFTOVERS!

The sad truth is, if you see your girlfriend/wife chatting it up with Pat Burrell in a bar, let her go man. It’s over.

We’ve already gone over the top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball.  Other positions’ top 20 lists can be found under 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  Now here we are with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. While going through this top twenty list of 2nd basemen something stood out at me.  The position is extremely shallow.  You really don’t want to have to resort to the bottom half of this list, but this list is actually deeper than the top twenty shortstop list that is coming later in the week.  Scary, right?  As with the previous lists, tiers are mentioned within the player blurbs.  My 2009 fantasy baseball projections are also noted.  Here’s the list of every player who has multiple position eligibility.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball:

1. Chase Utley – In the top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball post is Utley’s 2009 projections.

2. Ian Kinsler – In the top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball post is Kinsler’s 2009 projections.

3. Brandon Phillips – You’re in a new tier here, one that goes to Uggla.  I call this tier, “If the spot is right, draft one of these guys, but they’re probably going to be overrated.”  I really took a left turn on this top 20 list.  I’ve never been a fan of Brandon Phillips, but I see lots of people zigging, so what did I do? Zagged!  Barring injury, he can get to 25/25 while raising his average a bit from last year.  I’d let the rest of the schmohawks in your league grab Pedroia, Brian Roberts or Uggla while you grab Phillips.  (BTW, I already covered Brandon Phillips in a different post.)  2009 Projections:  90/25/80/.270/25

4. Alexei Ramirez – Another guy I bumped up higher than most fantasy baseball ‘perts.  At the end of 2009, Alexei Ramirez is going to be above Dustin Pedrioa on top 20 2nd basemen lists.  Why are you drafting your 2009 fantasy team like it’s 2008?  Are you in college in Boston and you bet your friend you would draft Pedroia if he finished a whole bottle of Mad Dog 20/20?  Pedroia had a great 2008, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be incredible in 2009.  Good, but not incredible.  2009 Projections:  95/22/90/.285/15

5. Dustin Pedroia – I was pushing Scrappy Doo real hard last year in the preseason.  I was telling people he can be a cheap 15/15 player.  And he can still go 15/15, but why is he suddenly being pushed by others like he’s King Shinola of Siam?  Did King Shinola die and make Pedroia King?  I don’t think King Shinola died.  Pedroia won an MVP in about the stankest of years for MVP candidates ever.  People taking him in the 2nd round of 2009 drafts need to chillax.   2009 Projections:  110/15/75/.310/15

6. Brian Roberts – It’s no secret that I didn’t like Brian Roberts last year.  Guess what?  Still don’t.  2009 Projections:  105/10/50/.285/30

7. Dan Uggla – Uggla’s a solid, low average power source.  He’s like mini-Dunn, which sounds like what an insensitive guy would tell his girlfriend if he wanted a break. “We’re not breaking up, we’re just mini-Dunn.”  2009 Projections:  85/30/100/.255/5

8. Robinson Cano – We’re in a new tier here.  This tier goes until Kendrick.  This tier I call, “Good value before we get to total Crapolanco.”   2009 Projections:  80/18/85/.310/3

9. Kelly Johnson – Kelly Johnson, Jose Lopez and Mark DeRosa are a coin flip.  You want the Braves schmohawk who’s going to give you 14/10 or you want the Indians or Mariners schmohawk who is going to give you 15/5.  It’s called Schmohawk’s Choice.  2009 Projections:  90/14/65/.285/10

10. Jose Lopez – Looking at cursory numbers at the end of November had me thinking Lopez was going to be a great sleeper for 2009.  As I dug deeper, I realized he’s not really due to take a huge jump forward.  Though he could repeat last year’s numbers, which makes him moderately valuable.  Kinda like your nana’s broach.  Projections:  80/15/85/.280/5

11. Mark DeRosa – I’m seeing him a lot higher on other 2009 fantasy baseball rankings lists so take necessary precautions to not overrate him.  A career year at 33-years-old screams outlier.  2009 Projections:  75/15/70/.280/5

12. Rickie Weeks – Call me a stewpid bizzlenitch.  I don’t care.  Old habits die hard.  I believe in leaving at least a $3 tip even if the bill is under $10, I believe you should live with a girl before you get married and I believe in Rickie Weeks.  Maybe I’m a dope.  2009 Projections:  90/15/60/.250/20

13. Howie Kendrick – What are we to expect from Kendrick?  A) Injuries B) Blah power C) A little speed D) Anything’s better than Polanco.  2009 Projections:  70/7/55/.310/10 and two 15-day DL trips.

14. Placido Polanco – This is a new tier and it goes from Crapolanco until Orlando Hudson.  I call this tier, “Punt.”  Seriously, why are you drafting Polanco?  What’s he going to do for you?  Take a flier on Kendrick or wait to take a flier on some late round doode.   2009 Projections:  90/7/55/.310/7

15. Kaz Matsui – In 2008, Kaz Matsui had a usable season even if he had to wear diapers for half the season.  Sorta like Jamie Moyer.  2009 Projections:  65/5/40/.280/20

16. Freddy Sanchez -  See Crapolanco.  Not even sure why I’m wasting my time writing up this schmohawk.  2009 Projections:  80/10/60/.285

17. Orlando Hudson – O-Dog is a poor man’s Polanco.  Blah!  2009 Projections:  75/10/45/.280/5

18. Mike Aviles – Here’s the final tier of 2nd basemen.  I’ll call this tier, “A-Ha! Take on me.”  Aviles won’t bat .325 again; he probably won’t bat .300.  In the end, he might not end up much better than 10/10, but he’s got some mystery to him.  The unknown is better than the known when you’re this deep into the 2nd basemen pool.  2009 Projections:  80/10/55/.295/10

19. Blake DeWitt – I already covered him in a Blake DeWitt, 2009 Fantasy Sleeper post.  You’re much better off taking DeWitt late instead of Polanco, Matsui or Hudson.  2009 Projections:  60/14/75/.275/7

20. Emmanuel Burriss/Eugenio Velez – Whichever schmohawk wins the Giants 2nd base job as long as it’s not Kevin Frandsen.  With this pick, you’re going for SAGNOF.  2009 Projections:  A badonkadonk of steals.

After the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but two stand out:

Ian Stewart – I already went here in the Ian Stewart 2009 fantasy sleeper post.  I could’ve put him up with Aviles, but I wanted to highlight him down here.  Just make sure he’s eligible for 2nd base in your league.  2009 Projections:  65/17/80/.265/5 (<–optimistic, but reachable)

Asdrubal Cabrera – With a first name that sounds like what Kaz Matsui was suffering from in the beginning of 2008, it’s easy to overlook Asdrubal Cabrera for 2009 fantasy baseball.  But Asdrubal (hehe, I said “but Asdrubal”) had a solid 2nd half last year.  Okay, this was preceded by him being sent down to the minors.  Cabrera won’t put together his 2008 2nd half over an entire season in 2009, but he’s worth the flier over some of the above names cough Polanco cough.  2009 Projections:  90/12/60/.275/10