Jeurys Familia has been diagnosed with a clogged artery in his right shoulder. Do the Met doctors have Waze? Try the Van Wyck Artery. You know what’s happening here, right? This is Metsferatu, the evil spirit who haunts Mets pitching. Metsferatu was not happy about the Taillon news, only he sidelines pitchers! Metsferatu looks at back cover of the Post and Daily News, plotting his next move, “What if I give Gsellman a third testicle? Or two horns that pop out of his forehead so people can call him Gazelleman? Maybe I go hitter and turn Neil Walker into a zombie. Will anyone notice? I mean, I had them replace a guy with Valley Fever with a guy named dude-a and no one said a damn thing.” So, Jeurys Familia could be out a while, or not at all. Still early to say, but I would absolutely grab Addison Reed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings streamaholics. I’m back for another week of zany hijinks and madcap fun in our pursuit of streaming perfection. Like always, I’ll be sorting through the bargain bin and lightly owned section of arms and bats to bring you the best options available in standard ESPN leagues. By now you should know the drill…..These suggestions will be less than 50% owned in the aforementioned leagues as well. Holding my hands throughout this entire process are the brains of this operation: The Stream-o-Nator and Hitter-Tron. These sexy, next-level love-bots have provided the pertinent information necessary to pass along the best streaming information in the industry. Hands down. Or hands up if you’re on a dirt bike excursion in the Rockies with Madison Bumgarner. He’s such a blast to kick it with on off days. So do yourself a favor and sign up for one of the many packages Razzball has to offer. The “tools” Rudy has put together here are second to none. The absolute best in the industry if you ask me. And you did ask me, right? Of course you did. Anyway, just sit back, relax and enjoy this post. I’m here to help you win your league. #honchoyourfriendPlease, blog, may I have some more?
28.4, 12.2, 21.4, 34.1, 24.9, 43.6, 28.7, 31.4. What Power Forward game log is this? You have a 7x day where he puts up 20 points and 15 rebounds, a day where he flopped hard because he got in foul trouble, and then a lot of 4x and 5x scores. Wait, what’s that? It is the last 8 games of Eric Thames? That’s absurd. I’m not even saying he’s a great play simply because of his last 8 games, but Adam Wainwright’s a decent innings muncher, who is losing the ability to get ground balls so Thames is in play again, even at his elevated price. Are we at the point where Thames is always in play because he’s a good hitter who obliterated the KBO and will spend 2017 obliterating major league pitching. I think the previous sentence answers your question. You might be asking where does Eric Thames rank in the greatest hitting seasons ever with a minimum 50 PAs? And I would tell you that it’s not first, it’s actually 2nd. Yes, Eric Thames 281 wRC+ ranks 2nd. That’s because Freddie Freeman this year has a 282. It helps when you decide that outs really aren’t your thing for 3 games. I’m also sure you are wondering who’s 3rd, and I will tell you that this year Bryce Harper is 3rd at 256. We’ve had some insane starts this year, but only one of them is making crotchety old pitching coaches and grumpy veteran pitchers subtly hint “things.”
On to the picks as soon as Freddie Freeman makes an out…wait, that may be a while…I’ll just do the picks now…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Imagine the Cubs decided to use Lester, Hendricks, Hammel and Lackey in the playoffs, and not Jake Arrieta. Not sure it would be the wrong move either. Arrieta isn’t just out of gas, he’s on a late-70s gas station line, cursing Jimmy Carter. He’s eaten six Chalupas and a Pintos ‘n Cheese from Taco Bell, washed it down with a 16-ounce Coke, and can’t produce any gas. He’s staying at a Marriott in Saudi Arabia where OPEC is meeting and all hotel guests get a complimentary barrel of petroleum and Arrieta can’t produce any gas. Yesterday, Arrieta went 5 IP, 7 ER and his ERA went up to 3.10. About five months ago, I said Arrieta doesn’t look right. I said it around the time of his no-hitter. That took some pants grapes. What’s funny (not funny) when you’re super early at calling something out, people write you off as cuckoo in the coconut. On April 29th, I said, “It’s hard to find a positive when you take this year’s numbers vs. last year’s (of Arrieta). Velocity is down, K-rate is down, walk rate is up, xFIP is up, luck is up, homers are up, ground balls are down and fly balls are up. It’s like looking under a Maserati’s hood and seeing a Mercedes engine. It’s not bad, but it’s not a Maserati.” And that’s me quoting me! On May 9th, I said, “Not to sound like a broken record, but his peripherals just haven’t been as good as last year thus far.” And that’s me quoting me sounding like a broken record! I continued to say more or less the same for a few months, then SUDDENLY everyone else started saying it. For 2017, I picture Arrieta being drafted a lot like Felix Hernandez in the preseason this year. People are concerned, but he’s so good, they’re still drafting Arrieta around 60th overall. Yeah, and it won’t work out either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the offseason, you did your due diligence and formulated opinions on players. After that exhaustive process, you selected the worthy few and enshrined them in your “fantasy display case.” These are the players that you knelt down and prayed to for fantasy glory. After an arduous five month journey, many of those gods have forsaken you. What you must do now is beckon the Faceless Men-a guild of assassins that are servants of the Many-Faced God. If you don’t know these references, then… If you really don’t know, Google Game of Thrones…Many-Fa…Who am i kidding? Either you know them or you don’t. The point is that it’s all about accumulating stats at this point. Don’t get caught up in the name or the fame. The waiver wire, which is the Many-Faced God for you now, will provide plenty of anonymous assassins to help you.Please, blog, may I have some more?
At Stephen Strasburg‘s summer DL rental, the driveway is an inverted W and he timeshares with Ryan Zimmerman. The Nationals said Strasburg’s elbow issue is not structural. Yeah, it’s deconstructed like a Cobb salad at some overpriced restaurant. I’m sure Strasburg is totally fine and it’s completely coincidental that he has a 10.19 ERA in August. Totally unrelated, guys and five girl readers, totally unrelated. Strasburg feels like the kind of pitcher that we can never rely on for more than 150 IP. In five years, he’s thrown 200+ IP once and he’s 28 years old. Oh, and ‘member how Strasburg was supposed to bounce back this year? He currently has the worst ERA of his career. Yeah, great. In my fantasy team news, because who doesn’t love someone talking about their fantasy team, Strasburg hit the DL about an hour after my weekly Scout league locked. The same league where I was in first a week ago before Strasburg went to Coors and Lackey went to the DL. The same league where I’m now in 2nd. The same league where I needed Strasburg to start twice this week and Lackey was set to face the Padres. The same league that ends at the end of August. The same league that just made me cry. I need a tissue, you karmic bullies! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I was fresh out of college, I worked at a web company (everyone did in the 90s). There was four of us. The other three had real job titles; I was the gofer/do-whatever. It was about a month before I was going back to school for my Master’s. I had no intention of keeping the job. Honestly, I doubt they would’ve kept me for that full month if I weren’t leaving. I failed at everything they assigned me, but they kept giving me new tasks, hoping I’d succeed. The only task I seemed capable of was heating up pre-cooked sausages from Trader Joe’s. I made sausages on a grill for three weeks straight, so, when I finally did leave, they gave me a plaque that reads, “Who wants some sausages?” This brings me to the sudden and incomprehensible rise of Yulieski Guerriel. The Astros are that company, and YuGu is me. The Astros seem between a rock of “We really want this guy to succeed” and “We have about a month left and we’re just hoping something works.” Yulieski hasn’t failed in the minors, he’s looked completely lost. He hit .118 in Double-A, was promoted to Triple-A and hit .222. I could see grabbing Guerriel in all leagues to see if he can get lucky, and figure out how to make something other than pre-cooked sausages for lunch, but the Astros are not promoting him because of how well he’s looked. They’re promoting him because there’s about a month left. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let me start out by briefly introducing myself because this is my first post here at Razzball. Literally everyone that has ever played fantasy sports thinks they are the best to ever do it. All of these people are wrong. I am the best, period. Now that I got that off my chest, let’s head into my picks for today…
When I think of the word “Archer,” I first think of Katniss from The Hunger Games. Why? Because she is an artist with a bow and an arrow in her hands. She uses her archery skills to fight off enemies and ultimately win “the games.” Next, I think of one of the very few talented players on the Tampa Bay Rays, Chris Archer. Though Archer had a rough start to the year, he is still averaging 18 DK fantasy points per contest and has a very favorable matchup against the San Diego Padres this afternoon. A date with Archer on his home turf is never fun. He is significantly better in Tampa Bay than he is on the road. Not to mention, the Padres can’t do anything offensively unless they are facing a left-handed pitcher. Plus, believe it or not, the Rays are hot. They have somehow managed to score 35 runs in that past two games, so Archer should get the run support he needs to register a win and an extra 4 DK points. So, go ahead and take Archer at $10,600, grab your popcorn, and enjoy two bottom-of-the-league teams face-off against each other.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 22nd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
True or false: A) Dansby Swanson is famous for being Ted Knight’s caddy in Caddyshack. B) Starting a meme at his frat house in Arizona where he’d put his checkered pants on a cactus with the caption, “I’m thirsty, yo.” C) There’s no C. D) All the above. E) Was drafted a second ago by the Diamondbacks 1st overall, then traded to the Braves for the fellow WASP, Shelby Miller, and all-around terrible pitcher. If you answered D) All the above, how did you know what all the above was before reading E? Also, it was a true or false quiz, what the hell is all of the above?! So, Dansby Swanson is being called up by the Braves just in time, no lie, for their series against the Diamondbacks. Dayum. Hello, wounds, here’s your salt. In Prospector Ralph’s midseason top 100 prospects, Dansby was 22nd overall, right by Willie Calhoun, who totally tanked Mike Dukakis’ campaign. Swanson is a 22-year-old that was a’ight in Double-A (8 HRs, 6 SBs, .261 in 84 games). That’s neither here nor there, he’s young; he should be owned in most mixed leagues; you’re not going to find his talent level on waivers in many leagues; semicolons; fun. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s time for the Dodgers’ mailbag with your host, Grey Albright and I’m here with Dave Roberts. First question up, Billy from Toluca Lake asks, “Why didn’t we sign Johnny Cueto?” Dave Roberts runs full-speed towards 2nd and slides head-first…safe! Well, that doesn’t exactly answer the question, but he is still quick. Okay, next question, “Was there ever a chance of re-signing Greinke?” Dave Roberts brushes dirt from his uniform and motions for the ump to call him safe, and he likely would’ve been safe if we were in a game and not just taking questions from Dodger fans. Okay, next, “What exactly is Brandon Beachy doing as a Dodger?” Dave Roberts takes off for third, what a speed demon, though we’re not sure what that has to do with the Dodgers losing pitchers one per hour. Early yesterday, the Dodgers announced Hyun-Jin Ryu hit the DL with elbow tendinitis. There’s no clear timetable for his return, but I’d guess sometime in the future. Him returning in the past seems to be a long shot, at best. Ryu didn’t look good after he returned from injury and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t return until next season. If you have no DL room, you should look on Redfin. Might be time to get in a bigger place. For now, I’d drop Ryu. Next up for the Dodgers was Clayton Kershaw would be shut down indefinitely. Ouch. I hate to see the top guys in the game get shut down. It hurts the game that we all love. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t own him, and am pumped about the teams that do have him, losing him. Schadenfreude! If he’s shut down now, I’d say the earliest he could possibly return is mid-August. Filling in will be Julio Urias and his special brand of 5 IP, 3 ERA, blink-and-you-miss-it starts, which makes me wonder if he’s seen himself pitch. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?