As Alex Rodriguez rehabs down in Miami, the heat (oofa!) is on his gambling habits.  “According to the baseball executive, MLB has yet to positively determine that Rodriguez took part in the (poker) games, which reportedly included actors Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, John Malkovich and that guy in that movie starring that other guy.”  Poker is a game played by men or women who will beat your ass, so you know A-Rod is only getting invited to these games because he’s probably the world’s worst poker player.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Today is the trade deadline so we’ll look at a few of the prospects that have been on the move before jumping into minor league player news.

As of this writing (3 pm CST), the trade of Hunter Pence for right-handed pitchers Jarred Cosart, Josh Zeid, first baseman Jonathan Singleton and a PTBNL between the Phillies and Astros has been the largest trade based primarily on the value of prospects.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Holy hell, it’s July already, cue the fireworks. Roll the stock footage of Bill Pullman from Independence Day, except make it sound cool with a nice fantasy touch, “This week we celebrate our wins above replacement day!” This week’s list is littered with crafty lefties and dudes who wear pseudo-athletic glasses, which are also cool for squash.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In an alternate universe, one in which the Cuban Missile Crisis was more than a crisis, the local family big-box appliance store would be Montgomery Castro. Launching the next holiday sale, Montgomery Castro introduces the exceeding expectations oven, the humidor microwave and the “Honey, I can’t find my [ground] balls,” fake grass-carpeting for the “dry” seasons down south.

Please, blog, may I have some more?