Is it just me, or has anyone else already started worrying about which players are going to burn them the most in 2018? Grey has already mentioned how the sudden late-season production of guys like Jose Bautista and Josh Donaldson will probably dupe folks into buying into them next year with a sense of false promise. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl, but I’m already imagining and stressing over the bad relationships I will probably enter into during my 2018 drafts and auctions, and trying to figure out if there’s anything I can do to avoid them.

The gentleman who I feel has strung me along the most, given me a handful of fun times over the last couple of seasons, but ultimately disappointed me to the point where I’ve decided it’s probably time to break up for good, is Yoenis Cespedes. Even after a spotty, injury-plagued 2016, I put a lot of eggs in his basket this year as my go-to NL power/average guy. Cut to mid-August, and dude has fewer homers than (among a million other people), Paul DeJong and Scooter Gennett (and now Ces has pitched fewer innings than Scooter to boot!) He’s been one of my biggest busts of the year, and yet, after seeing him hit 4 bombs over his last 7 games, I can feel my head starting to turn in his direction once again. I’m already wondering if he’ll be a value pick next year, and worrying that if I don’t stock up on as many shares of Cespedes as I can get my hands on, he’ll pull a 2017 Giancarlo and lead the way to 2018 victory for everyone else’s fantasy teams. Am I the naïve girl falling for the jerk who’s mistreated her before, and will again? Or the wise woman ready to give a great guy the final chance he deserves before ultimately walking off into the sunset with him?

The Razzball Commenter Leagues for Fantasy Football are now open! Take on your favorite writers and other readers of the site for a chance at prizes!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Thank Cobb this injury wasn’t worse. After failing to stick the landing on his improvised triple lutz down the first base line, Bryce Harper owners ran to their bobble head and starting lineup figure shrines to pray to the old baseball Gods and the new (Praise Be to Frank Thomas.) Luckily, there was no knee meat damaged in the play which is good, but it is still looking like a mid-September return from a bone bruise in his knee. But Harper is just crazy and young enough to beat that time frame. Funnily enough, the first few suggestions when you start to type “bone bruise” into Google are “bone bruise knee,” “bone bruise heal time” and “bone bruise knee heal time.” Fantasy managers are so quick to become amateur physicians when their players go down. How you handle a Harper replacement could be key to you making & surviving your playoffs. Stash or Trash: Stash. Fill In: Say it with me now: “Goosfraba.” No one man can replace Harper. Now that that’s out of the way let’s see what we’re working with. You know who you should grab before it’s too late? Eddie Rosario (37%.) Since July 1st Rosario has a .333 average with 20 runs, 6 HR, 22 RBI and 3 SB — 5 of those HR have come in his last 8 games. Is this realistic? Not entirely. However, Rosario is only 25 and was a 20/20/.280 threat in his minor league days. Ride the hot hand here.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

That’s right DFSer’s, you read that correctly, it’s Discount Double Check time!  I’m not too thrilled with the pitching slate tonight, so instead of payin’ top dolla’ for some so-so matchups, I’m going grab a couple under the radar guys and lots of offense.  First up on the Blue Light Special, we have Jake Junis, SP $11,100.  Last Week, he came out of nowhere and threw up 31.60 points against a strong Seattle Mariners team.  He went 8 IP, 1 ER and 7 Ks, not too shabby for a guy who is going for a little more than my top offensive picks for tonight.  He’s facing an Oakland team who is one of the worst in the AL and they lead the league in K’s vs RHP.  He doesn’t have the home cookin’ on his side, but he is in a very good pitchers park.  Let’s hope this Blue Light Special goes all Blue Streak and delivers a gem for us at a discount.  Matching up nicely with JJ is Jerad Eickhoff, SP $15,600.  J-Rad has the lowly Padres in San Diego tonight, Yes, Please and Thank You.  He threw up a juicy 27 points against them last month in Philly, so I’m hoping he can surpass that tonight in pitcher friendly Petco.  Now that we’ve scrapped the bottom of the barrell for our starting pitching, let’s have some fun and spend some cash on offense.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week’s slate of two-start starters was pretty light, so it is nice to see our list back to being robust for Week 20. A week after not having any two-start starters with a positive dollar value who were owned in less than 75% of RCLS according to Streamonator, we now have three. Streamonator likes two of the starters and like likes another one. Enough stalling and fluff, here are your three beloveds for this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I don’t know about the rest of you fellows, but I like to spoil my lady every so often. I mean, Honcho is all about romance and class. When I’ve been struck by cupid’s arrow I like to take Mrs. Honcho to a fancy restaurant, order the finest bottle of Boone’s Farm in the building and reflect on our glamorous lifestyle. So the other night, while we were dining at Red Lobster, I was filling her ears with sweet nothings about my favorite under the radar plays on DraftKings. She was enthralled with my tales as usual and she couldn’t take her eyes off me as we shared a package of saltine crackers from the salad bar. Then it struck me…tomorrow the Padres will be at Coors Field! They’ll be facing Chad Bettis, who happens to own a 4.70 ERA at Home this season. While that’s probably acceptable for a Rockies’ starter, I’m more than happy to get a piece of that action with my daily fantasy dollars. Bettis has also allowed a .260 batting average to left-handers this season, which is above the league average. I’ll be looking to use a number of Padres in various lineups today, especially the power hitting lefties. Ryan Schimpf fits that description perfectly. Schimpf has 19 home runs on the year in just 238 at-bats. Sixteen of those long balls have come at the expense of right-handed pitchers – who he happens to also own a .929 OPS against. In my best Kirk Cousins voice I ask you…You Like That!? Well, I do. So excuse me while I finish my left-over plate of hush puppies and fine tune my lineup. While you’re waiting, here’s a look at the rest of my favorite plays for Sunday’s slate:

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 19th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You know how people write stuff on a grain of rice.  With that in mind, on Rich Hill‘s blister this is written, “Took a whole lot of tryin’ to get up that Hill — R.I.P. Sherman Hemsley.  I can’t believe I not only had room on this grain for an inspirational quote, but also room to attribute the quote to the wrong person and to also add in this meta comment about my inspirational quot–”  Damn, he wasn’t able to fit everything.  That’s the worst.  That’s like when you’re writing a birthday card to someone and you start writing a note only to get to the end and need to start writing super-tiny and curved to fit it in.  And that’s not the first time you’ve heard your curve is super-tiny.  Rich Hill was perfect on Saturday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 9 Ks — but, to be honest, Hill has been perfect for the last two years (though only 29 IP last year).  This year, 1.80 ERA, 0.96 WHIP with a 10.4 K/9 and 1.74 ERA over the past two years.  So, ya know, your usual ace you get about 120 IP from.  For 2017, it’s going to be hard to rank him much below the top 25 with the caveat that you’re only getting him for three to four months.  Makes you wish rice grains were just a tad bigger to fit all of the superlatives on there for Rich Hill.  Know what I mea– Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Holy shizzballs.  That’s not the Urban Dictionary definition of shizzballs either, which is when you shizz your grapes.  That’s shizzballs as in this is the greatest display of sexiness since a young Kim Cattrall was featured in a window display.  Brian Dozier is doing more for the long ball than any old man with shizzballs could ever imagine.  That’s back to the original definition of shizzballs.  Right now, Dozier is the exact perfect moment when your 12-year-old self pressed the buttons perfectly together on the old cable box and unscrambled Playboy TV at its best, with a perfectly scrolled, snowy version of Naughty Candid Camera.  Trying to cover, when being caught, “It’s Allen Funt, mom.  Uh…Maybe that’s not an F on the front of his last name.”  Yesterday, Brian Dozier hit three more homers — 3-for-5, 4 RBIs, hitting .279 — and now has 38 homers on the year, and is easily leading the entire majors for homers in the 2nd half with 24 homers.  For 2017, he’s going to be tough to peg, due to his inflated HR/FB% and falling line drive rate, but he doesn’t look much worse than a 25 HR/15 SB guy, which still has value.  For this year, obviously you ride the lightning.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Labor Day DKer’s! Hopefully most of you got to sleep in today and if you didn’t you should have, because I’ll only be featuring the late games due to scheduling conflicts. The Early Bird usually fairs well in most aspects of life, but for me in DK it’s just the opposite, as I tend to win in the later contests. My theory is that the East Coasters are putting together weak ass lineups because they’re all loaded up on Bud Light & Blue Crab, trying to chase the dragon from the earlier games. Regardless if there’s any proof to my theory, I can assure you that we’re in line tonight to cash in on some holiday DK dough as long as you follow my lead. There are some top Aces’s taking the mound tonight, I’m hoping that Drew Pomeranz, $12,000 at San Diego gets passed over for the bigger names like Max Scherzer, Chris Sale, Justin Verlander and Cole Hamels. I’m sure Pomeranz was ecstatic when he found out he was being traded to a playoff contender at the trade deadline and they told him he was going to Fenway (lowercase yeah). When the trade went down, everyone questioned his durability after having an All-Star first half, because he’s never pitched more than 97 innings in his previous five seasons. Initially he made the critics look like they knew what they were talking about as he definitely took a few lumps when he arrived in Bean Town. In fact some of the Boston Brass thought there may have been an undisclosed injury, because in his first three starts he went 0-3, coughed up 12 ERs in just 14.1 innings and looked like hot garbage. Good thing for the Red Sox he figured things out, because this Dr. Drew has been carving up AL opponents over his last six starts. He’ll never light up the radar gun, but he’s got a nasty hook that’s contributed to 39 Ks over his last 36.2 innings to go along with a 2.78 ERA. I know it seems like I pick on San Diego every Monday, but this has all the right ingredients for a monster performance by the former Padre. I love rostering guys that are facing their former team, although I’m sure he was happy to leave San Diego, there’s still a little part of him that wants to shove it! I’m expecting double digit Ks tonight to go along with a W thanks to the big Boston bats beating up on Edwin Jackson in Petco.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I was going to lede with Lester the Molester is going to flip the script on the Padres, but I didn’t want the Vatican Policia to flag me. The last thing I need is some little Italian guy going through my trash in the middle of the night. I just had a vision of Grey outside of Giancarlo’s house rummaging through his Salvation Army donation bags looking for his old jock straps. This coming from a guy who tried to get Manny Machado’s birthday bubble gum he tossed at us when Grey proposed a Netflix and chill night. Oh what hijinks we get ourselves into. For the record I wasn’t going to extract the DNA for a Mini Manny Heater, but that’s a hell of an idea, Grey! Now let’s get into the real reason you’re here; Monday Night DK. There’s only 8 games on the docket tonight. I really liked the Dodgers matchups, but unfortunately they had a 9:35 am start time and DK doesn’t even have that game available. A-Gon will probably hit 2 HRs and Kazmir will probably have 15 baserunners and 1 K because I need him to deal in our Scout league. I’m not to thrilled about the offensive matchups tonight as there’s some solid arms taking the bump tonight. The few matchups I do like are through the roof expensive, so I’m going to pay for two top arms and try to jimmy rig the rest, hopefully it comes together. I know we like to pick on the Padres, but after seeing Robby Ray strikeout 13 over 7 innings on Saturday I just can’t pass up on this matchup. Granted, Jon Lester at $12,500 is the most expensive and he’ll probably be highly owned, so it goes without saying he’s not the ideal tourney play. Lester had a couple clunkers going in the All Star break, but he’s been great over his last six starts picking up 4 Ws, 38 Ks to go along with a 2.47 ERA over 36.1 innings. With the Padres offense trailing just Milwaukee for total Ks on the year I’m counting on Lester to hit double digit Ks and he could top 40 points if all goes well tonight.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As the season begins to wind down, and the grind of the first four months feeds into the stretch run of the final two months. The contenders begin to rise to the top in Razzball’s own dynasty league the Razznasty. We got a serious race going, with the top spot changing hands multiple times over the last few days. RCL Czar Matt Truss sits atop the mountain, for the next few hours at least. BTW Matt you are a Czar, watch out for Commies old friend. Look at that a Russian history lesson mixed with fantasy baseball. I’m gunning for a Smithsonian gig one day. In the meantime I’ll keep providing you with gushing articles about prospects, dynasty strategy, and PROSPECT PODCASTS!!! I hope everyone is ready for our first episode coming tomorrow!!! We’ll be talking the prospect side of the trade deadline, and some of the recent weeks callups. Benintendi anyone? Yes, I have to mention him twice a post.

Please, blog, may I have some more?