I said three days ago that Brian Wilson was probably headed for a DL stint. And now he’s on the DL. Confession: I’m a time traveler! And not for stocks or gambling Biff-style, I use my foresight for fantasy baseball. To recap what I’ve been saying, I said three days ago that Brian Wilson– Wait, I should recap from a little further back. Ramon Ramirez already has two saves, so that’s who I’d grab first. Affeldt could get some saves, you just need to put up with his annoying duck. Casilla may sneak into the picture, but I wouldn’t go deeper than one of these guys unless you’re very desperate. Though remember closers can smell desperation and you’ll never get any saves like that. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce that this afternoon there will be announcement. Please, blog, may I have some more?
As Alex Rodriguez rehabs down in Miami, the heat (oofa!) is on his gambling habits. “According to the baseball executive, MLB has yet to positively determine that Rodriguez took part in the (poker) games, which reportedly included actors Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, John Malkovich and that guy in that movie starring that other guy.” Poker is a game played by men or women who will beat your ass, so you know A-Rod is only getting invited to these games because he’s probably the world’s worst poker player. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Uggla has now homered in two straight games, but, more importantly, he has two other hits in those games, making him hotter than a junebug on a duck’s back or some other yokelism they say in The South. That’s at least compared to how he looked like Rocky Dennis on all his swings prior to this week. That’s if Rocky Dennis wore Affliction. “Yo, yo, yo, whaddup, boss? Get another round of Flaming Nads for my lady friends!” That’s Dan Uggla at Senor Frog’s. (BTW, it looks like the 3rd Giambi brother in the background of that Uggla picture.) I don’t think Uggla can get his average much higher than .230, but he’s still more than capable of getting to 30 homers. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jair Jurrjens – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks as he continues to defy his FIP. BTW, if you were in a fantasy league with Murray Chass, you’d be getting your ass handed to you. “Hey, Grey, I just traded Alexi Ogando to Murray Chass!” That’s you two months before you’re throwing darts at a board with my picture. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wilson Betemit collided with Albert Pujols and… Why is Wilson Betemit playing?! He never plays. Doesn’t your Quad-A Beer Pong Tournament partner, Shelley Duncan, need you for a tourney? Manzo! (Which is my new favorite exclamation that means nothing.) Another tough break (strain?) for a high draft pick. You high draft picks remind me of my shoe closet — I got one penny and a bunch of loafers! (Thanks, Lil Penny.) Pujols supposedly only has a sprained wrist, but will be reevaluated on Monday. If it’s any more serious than a strain, I suggest Betemit enter the Witness Protection Program. Your deity of choice willing Pujols will be back on the field in a day or two. Luckily, Pujols has severed elbow tendons in the past and only missed one game. Manzo! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Lance Berkman – Didn’t start on Sunday because his back and leg were “barking.” Sounds like someone has figured out how to appeal to La Russa’s PETA leniencies. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jonathan Broxton blew his first save because of an error and he’s out as closer. Hmph. The Dodgers’ GM Colletti said the Dodgers would turn to Padilla and Broxton with Kuo joining the mix when he returns at the end of the week. Hmph. Hmph. Mattingly then said last I checked Colletti doesn’t have a goatee and Broxton is still his closer, no committee. Hmph. Hmph. Hmph. Whatcha gonna do with all those hmphs? All those hmphs up in your trunk? Then Mattingly called Colletti a dwarf brain and shaved his goatee to reveal a cold sore. Got all that? Glad one of us does. I’d own Broxton and Kuo. Wouldn’t mess with this Padilla or this Padilla. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
James Loney – 4-for-4 with a steal. I almost wrote the other day how there’s no way Loney stays hitting .200, but then I grew bored and fell asleep… Snooze…
Phil Hughes – Underwent four hours of tests on his arm. Towards the end his arm just started answering C for everything. Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I’ve been saying for the last month, Neftali Feliz will be the closer and he doesn’t have syphilis. Now stop experimenting on him! Feliz shoots all the way back up to the top of the Donkeycorns and can/should/verb be the top closer in the game by the end of the season. This also means Matt Harrison will be a starter. And to that I say, “I enjoyed your work on Falcon Crest.” Matt Harrison shall be now known as the Lone Ranger, as in he’ll be the lone Ranger that no one drafts. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:
Tommy Hunter – Suffered a groin strain. I know too well about those! Oh, wait, no I don’t. *blushes* Maybe they’ll put Neftali back in the rotation. I’m kidding! They’ll probably use Dave Bush. Um, yikes. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We finish off the infield with the top 20 3rd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. The 2011 fantasy baseball rankings from shallowest to deepest go catchers, shortstops, third basemen, 2nd basemen then 1st basemen. That’s right, I think the 2nd basemen are deeper than the 3rd basemen. 3rd base gets the gas face. In 2009, I punted 3rd base for Mark Reynolds late. Worked out fine. In 2010, I punted 3rd base for Ian Stewart late. Didn’t work out fine. In 2011, I really want a top 3rd baseman. I ain’t mucking around. As with other top 20 rankings, I list where I see tiers beginning and ending and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and top 20 shortstops for 2010 have been accounted for. Up now, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball. Lots of surprises in the top 20 for 3rd basemen. In the top 3, two guys that weren’t drafted in the first 10 rounds with the 1st guy not being drafted in the first 20 rounds. Heroes of 2009, Mini-Donkey and Kung Fu Panda, which sounds like an anime cartoon that has a 75% chance of giving you a seizure, did give you the fits. Then when you get to around the halfway mark, the drop off is precipitous. Also, to recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2010 and the top 20 1st basemen for 2010. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, though it’s nearly as deep as 3rd basemen, but we’ll get to those). To recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ted Williams hit a HR in his last AB. John Elway won his 2nd straight Super Bowl in his last start. Chipper Jones eschewed a standing ovation in favor of a reclining operation. Sometimes you don’t appreciate greatness until it hits the DL. In between all the injuries, Chipper Jones has had one of the top 5 careers for a 3rd basemen in WAR (behind only Schmidt, Eddie Mathews, Boggs and Brett). Fairly well, Glass Chipper, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars while trying not to pull any ligaments. Omar Infante should now play every day for the rest of the year even after Prado returns. He’s a solid average contributor and… Well… Uh… Yeah, average. That’s it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Freddie Freeman – Frank Wren says the injury to Chipper doesn’t change Freeman’s timetable. Glaus’ inability to hit anything other than weak grounders to the shortstop could change that timetable though. Right now, I don’t think we see Freeman until September. Stay tuned! Or not. Your choice. Please, blog, may I have some more?