Fantasy Baseball Advice

Matt Holliday signed with the Cardinals after it became clear that no one else was signing him.  Other than going to the Padres or A’s (again) or some other terrible team/park, I didn’t think it mattered much where Holliday signed.  He is in the prime of his career and is what he is.  A .315, 15 steal, 25-30 home run hitter.  His absurd 28 steals in 2008 looks to be an outlier.  As does his 36 homer season in 2007.  He’s not signing on for Coors II, The Humidor Breaks.  Currently, I have Matt Holliday ranked in my top 20 for 2010.  (The rankings begin next Monday.  You can hardly wait!  No, you!)  I ranked him there knowing he was probably staying in The Bootheel.  Anyway, here’s other signings and trades and what they mean for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Casey Kotchman – Off to the Mariners.  When your career is five years in and your defining moment is an eight month bout with mono as immortalized by Pulling a Kotchman, you got problems.  A junket to Safeco ain’t helping the cause.  Sorta gives you a good idea about imbalance when Kotchman was a back-up’s back-up on the Sawx and is now the starting first baseman for the M’s.  Conor Jackson looks at Kotchman’s power upside and laughs (then coughs from Valley Fever as he pulled his own Kotchman last year.)  I.e. Ignore Kotchman in mixed leagues unless he’s showing signs in Spring Training or the first weeks of the season.

Adrian Beltre – The Red Sox seem to be intent on making sure the only Lowell in Massachusetts next year is the one 40 minutes NE of Boston.  Our hopes that they’d replace him with a Freddie Saugus or Nick Framingham didn’t work out.  The Red Sox keep signing bleh hitters (Cameron, Beltre) because of their defensive prowess.  Whatever.  We’re a fantasy baseball site.  That doesn’t excite us.  There’s only one good fielder in baseball….and his name is Prince.  Because of his fielding, Beltre should help the Sox pitchers (and their opponents with his hitting).  I keed.  Of course leaving Safeco will help Beltre.  Two things will happen now that Beltre is on the Red Sox.  1) He will be more valuable as a hitter.  Hey, a 315 left field wall can’t hurt.  Unless you’re Mike Cameron and you run into it with your head.  2) Beltre will now be drafted much higher.  So you have to weigh how much 1 warrants 2.  Beltre has been a bit of a hacking mess the past few years.  Last year, he ranked 6th in all of baseball for swinging at pitches outside the strike zone.  Two players worse than Jeff Francouer.  Other than his off-the-charts 2004, Beltre has never cleared the fences more than 26 times in a season.  The Red Sox don’t need production from him so that will either mean he’s more relaxed and hit better or he’ll grow disinterested.  I could see the latter happening.  But that should be offset by Fenway’s favorable conditions.  Either way, he’s a fair bet for 24 homers, a .275 average and 10 steals.  There’s value in that at 3rd base.  Just don’t let his newfound home cause you to push him too far up draft boards.  He did, after all, hit 8 homers last year.  Sure, that was because of a shoulder injury, but what makes anyone think shoulder injuries just go away?  After his shoulder surgery, Mariners medical director said, “(The procedure was) very successful.  We expect a rehabilitation timeline of approximately three to four months.”  That was after his first shoulder surgery back in September of 2008.  He then needed to have a similar surgery in late June of 2009.  I.e., Beltre’s better now, but not without flaws.

Justin Upton heads to the DL with an oblique injury.  For those reading, who just got out of a time machine from the 80s, no one has any idea what an oblique is.  And stop wearing Cavariccis.  Upton will probably be out more than the required 15 days, because these oblique injuries that no one has ever heard of are tricky.  With the Baby Backs out of every race outside of The Greatest 3rd Baseman To Ever Grace the Human Race Race, they’re not going to rush Upton.  Does this hurt you to hear?  It’s not my intention.  But just don’t expect anything until September from Upton.  On the bright side, now you have room for Will Venable.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday then he was removed with a sore thumb.  It doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about.  Mini-donkeys get sore thumbs apparently.

Trent Oeltjen – 2-for-6, as he hit his first major league homer yesterday and got two steals for the depleted ‘Backs outfield.  He’s from Australia.  So I guess that makes him a *pinkie to mouth* Outback.  He’s a bit old for a prospect, but he has some mild pop and speed.  Think David Murphy as the best case scenario.  And, to impress your friends, Oeltjen is pronounced like Meltjen but with an O.

Alex Romero – 4-for-7, steal, 3 RBIs and batted 2nd.  He reminds me of Crapolanco.  Not a compliment.  He has a yawnstipating power and speed and a good average.

Lastings Milledge – 2-for-5, and a steal.  He’s worth a flier.  Between him and fellow transgressor, Dukes?  I’d take Dukes.

Billy Butler – Back-to-back games with homers.  Worth a look in 10 team leagues for your corner spot.

Adrian Beltre – 4-for-4, maybe it’s the start of something, but he hasn’t put together a decent month since 2007.  Not a crack, he really hasn’t.

Franklin Gutierrez – 1-for-4, and .260 over the last 7 games.  Think it’s safe to put The Big FraGu back on waivers until next year.

Fausto Carmona – 6 IP, 1 ER, 2 Ks.  Let’s see, he finally pitches well and now has a 6.66 ERA.  Can someone say Fausto-ian bargain?  I wouldn’t pick Carmona in any league, even a Cleveland Indians-Only league.  Damn you, damn you and your 6.66 ERA to hell!

Asdrubal Cabrera – 2-for-4, and has been scorching hot over the last week.  He’ll also be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell to really drive the hitchhiking point home.

John Baker – HR yesterday.  Member when he was all the rage back in May and you understood exactly what I meant when I said punt catchers, then three weeks later you were cursing Baker and wishing you drafted a catcher?  Ah, yes.  Those were the days…

Hanley Ramirez – 3-for-5 and 2 steals, batting .344 on the year with 16 homers and 18 steals.  I don’t mention the top players too much unless there’s something wrong.  And that’s not with Hanley… Well, not directly, but, man, the Marlins have really put the brakes on his running game.  He doesn’t have more than 5 steals in any month.  25/25 from your shortstop is great, don’t get me wrong.  But you want more from Hanley, don’t you?

Vladimir Guerrero – Hit his 5th homer yesterday.  It’s a limb, but I think when you drafted Vlad you were counting on more than 10 homers.

J.A. Happ – The Phils say he will stay in the rotation.  Basically, take everything I say about Happ and inverse it.  He’s officially confounded me.  That could mean Jamie Moyer goes to the bullpen.  This makes absolutely no sense to me.  Happ has value coming into a close game in the middle innings.  I believe Moyer has no value being used that way.

Shane Victorino – 0-for-4, The Flying Hawaiian looks like he’s really struggling with his knee.  I’m concerned.

Aaron Cook – 5 IP, 3 ER.  Left the game with a sore toe.  There goes the Rox pickup soccer game midfielder.  Cook’s probably day-to-day.

Elijah Dukes – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and a HR yesterday.  Somewhere Jim Bowden smiles.

Ryan Zimmerman – 4-for-4, and another homer.  Mentioned this the other day, but it bears repeating, because, frankly, it’s pretty amazing to me how streaky Zimmerman is.  Good to file away in the back of the ol’ medulla oblongata for H2H players.

Casey Kotchman – HR yesterday.  Is there anything more satisfying then when you pick up a guy for a short schedule day and then he hits a homer?  It’s like picking up a girl anywhere but a bar. (BTW, the girl can still be drunk for this to be satisfying.)

David Ortiz – 0-for-5, batting .222 on the year.  I have a sneak peek of his Saturday press conference, “I’m batting .222 on the year.  I used to hit 50 homers and bat over .300.   Yet, I had no idea what A-Rod’s cousin was shooting me up with.”  Borrr-ring.

Frank Francisco – Pitched a scoreless 8th inning. Any day now he should return to the closer’s role or the DL.

Brandon Lyon – Got the save because he entered the game in the 8th in a save situation.  No change of the guards here.

Erick Aybar – 3-for-4, HR and a steal yesterday.  I literally wrote his name in the Sell section of this afternoon’s post before this game.  Guess his blurb will go in the director’s cut.

Tommy Hunter – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners.  That’s nice, I wouldn’t pick him up.

Nelson Cruz – Sounds like he’s headed to a DL.  Why, you ask.  Because he can’t throw a ball or swing a bat.  That’ll usually do it.

Rafael Soriano – 3 earned runs, no outs as he blew the save.  Could’ve been worse, could’ve set fire to my house.

Chad Gaudin – What happens when a HodgePadre doesn’t pitch well at home?  He gets traded.  That’ll teach him!  Aaron Poreda may get the vacant rotation spot in San Diego, or Geer or Mujica.  Poreda would have value, the other two would not.

Clayton Richard – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 Ks, 9 baserunners.  Wasn’t a brilliant start, but definitely worth holding onto for home games and he gets a bunch of decent matchups for the last 2 months.

Bobby Parnell – Added to the Mets rotation.  I believe Bobby Parnell is the little black kid from Role Models.  Not positive though.

Lastings Milledge is about to get called up by the Pirates (We’re not your Pops’ Pirates!) and he should get playing time.  Shoot, I could prolly get playing time with the Pirates.  Is this still the head case that the Mets and Nats gave up on?  Sure.  Luckily, the rap scene in Pittsburgh is about as happening as Poughkeepsie’s and there’s no chance Milledge will high-five a fan after a homer, because, well, the Pirates have no fans.  Lastings Milledge can give you a two month stretch that looks remarkably similar to what Beltran has done over the last two months, or he can give you a two month streak where he looks like what Beltran should’ve done for the last two months.  Will Milledge suddenly be 10 team worthy?  Check yo projections at the door.  I don’t know.  His 2nd half last year was hella strong.  (Yo and hella were requests of the 18-29 test audience).  So Milledge can give you a ten team worthy outfielder and that’s worth a flier in every league.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Ty Wigginton – Hit a homer on Thursday.  Know how many homers he hit last August?  12.  Why does he get hot in August?  I don’t know.  Maybe his moon sign coalesces well with August’s sun sign.  Whatever the case.  Pick him up in deep leagues and monitor him closely in 12 team or shallower.

Kyle Blanks – The Pillsbury Fro Boy has been hot.  That’s your positive tip, now dance on the floor and have room for The Chubbster.

Billy Butler – The Moobster has also been hot.  I have my doubts about him for this year (I’m getting excited about drafting him next year).  But if you’re struggling at corner, you have my express written consent to pick up Butler.

Chris Tillman – As defined by the Razzball Glossary, a roofie is a rookie pitcher who fails to deliver on their tremendous K potential and, instead, abuses your trust and violates your ERA and WHIP.  If you need to take on risk, Tillman’s worth a shot, but you may end up crying in the corner of your bathroom.

Derek Holland – Shoot me now for what these roofies will do to you.

Clayton Richard – Latest HodgePadre.  Suddenly, he has value for mixed leagues.

Aaron Poreda – This trade makes him an immediate grab in NL-Only keeper leagues.

Adam LaRoche – I told you he’d get a boost from his trade!  It just wasn’t his first trade.  My visions of the future are sometimes murky.

Andy Marte – Father, I must confess, I’ve picked up Andy Marte in a mixed league.  You know how much I love prospects who are past prospect staus.  His Triple-A stats were apple-sweet this year.  When I own him, I can’t stop thinking about crates of Dippin’ Dots slowly parachuting into Africa, so it can’t be all bad, right?

Eugenio Velez – Hot and he has speed.  (Sounds like a young Ron LeFlore.)

Jim Johnson – Doesn’t he sound like a cult leader?  Jim Johnson states that in order to get vulture saves you must drink his Kool-Aid.  This will also help you shed your Earth skin.

Danys Baez – If you’re really hard up for saves and Johnson’s gone, grab Baez.  Though you may be left holding your Earth skin.

Matt Thornton – Potential vulture saves if Ozzie ever convinces Jenks to go to the Disgraceful List.

Kaz Matsui – He might be as exciting to you as the Jockular Sphincteritis he once suffered from, but he’s 4 for his last 7 with his homer yesterday.  He hit over .300 in 2008’s 2nd half with 5 homers and 5 steals.  Decent enough in NL-Only leagues or very deep mixed leagues.

Howie Kendrick – Not only is he hot, but if you pick him up, you can mock everyone who drafted him back in March.

Ben Francisco – Don’t cha just wanna call him Benji Cisco?  No?  Okay, maybe it’s me.  He has no value if he’s on the bench, but while The Flying Hawaiian’s grounded, he’s worth a look.

Michael Saunders – Had a .310/.378/.544 line in Triple-A along with 13 homers in 248 ABs.  Eh, he’s a decent flier in AL-Only leagues, but I just can’t get excited about Mariners prospects.  If he was any good, why didn’t they trade him to the Orioles?

SELL

George Sherrill – Unless you count Holds or you’re a MR. B., Sherrill’s not worth your roster spot.

Ian Kinsler – Yup, it’s almost that time of the year.  Kinsler’s missed the last two games and he’s never played in more than 130 games.  Washington has already said he will bench him more in the 2nd half to try to keep Kinsler out of the dumps, so far it hasn’t worked.  Kinsler hit .157 in July with 4 homers and 6 steals.  Now don’t trade Kinsler for a lanyard anklet, but you might want to explore some trades.

Jake Peavy – The White Sox didn’t acquire Peavy to rush him back and risk further injury.  He’s there for the playoff push.  This trade doesn’t suddenly make him healthy. Not to mention, he leaves the (really) friendly confines of Petco for a hitters’ park.  It’s not great for his value.

Victor Martinez – Nothing like a trade to the Sawx to cause a player’s perceived value go through the roof. Will this trade boost his value?  Of course.  Will his perceived value suddenly be higher than his actual value?  Yup.  Again, don’t trade him for the innate ability to spell Gewurztraminer, but I’d keep my avenues open.

Casey Kotchman – Nothing like a trade to the Sawx to… Oh, wait.  He’s now stuffed in the middle of the revolving cornerman door.  Considering Kotchman will only be facing favorable matchups now, it doesn’t kill his value, but you would need a backup for the days he sits.

Francisco Liriano – Member back in 2006 when you guys had the time of your life?  Frolicking around the park like the two schoolkids you were.  You’d start a sentence, he finished it.  You’d invite him to sleep over and beg your Mom to make his favorite kind of pupusas.  Well, now he won’t leave and he just wet your bed.  Stop lying in Liriano’s urine and drop him.

J.P. Howell has back-to-back blown saves.  Joe Nelson hasn’t even sniffed a save opportunity after getting saves when Percival was healthy.  Balfour has given up 7 runs in the last five games.  Isringhausen hasn’t pitched in June.  Dan Wheeler got his first save opportunity on Saturday and blew it.  Lance Cormier sounds like a hockey goalie.  Who’s leading the Rays bullpen since Percival went down?  Lefty specialist, Randy Choate, of course!  When asked after the game if he’ll ever decide on a closer, Joe Maddon pushed his Buddy Holly glasses up the bridge of his nose and said, “That’ll be the day.”  Where’s Percival when you need him?  I would hold one of Howell or Wheeler for now, if you have room.  If you’re desperate for saves, I’d put the other five names in a hat then let Akinori Iwamura pick out a name.  That’s what Joe Maddon does.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike MacDougal – Manny Acta said MacDougal was the new Nats closer.  The rest of the league said, “Bring on the ninth!”  I’ll put MacDougal’s saves at 2 and his blown saves at 3.

Vladimir Guerrero – 1-for-5, zero home runs and batting .260 since his return.  Three days before he returned, I told you to sell him. I could see him being better than he has been (I called him a has-been!), but his name is obviously a lot more valuable than his bat.

Rick Porcello – 5 IP, 4 ER.  I’ve been saying all along he’s nothing but a matchups guy because of his lack of strikeouts.  He now has a 3.98 ERA on the year with 36 Ks through 61 innings.  Bleh.

Miguel Cabrera – Left the game after tweaking his hamstring again.  This is not a ‘for now thing,’ but I just thought of it.  I could see Miggy taking a career dive around age 30.

Vince Mazzaro – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER.  In AL-Only leagues, you can do worse.  Fausto Carmona, for instance, he’s worse.  Chien-Ming?  Yeah, he’s pretty bad.  Rich Hill?  Not interested in him at all.  Revolving schmohawk Indians pitcher is terrible.  Mazzaro is marginal at best in mixed leagues.  Sorry, paisan.

Rich Hill – 1 IP, 3 ER, 4 walks and 1 HBP.  And that’s why I wouldn’t own him in any league.  His owners actually got off easy in the earned run department, which is downstairs with home furnishings.

Casey Kotchman – Hit the DL.  Obviously jealous of so many others pulling a Kotchman, he decided to show them a thing or two about sitting for two weeks with a minor injury.

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 6 ER.  Dazzling early on, but uneven is the key word with rookie pitchers.  Most impressive thing was 91 pitches with 61 going for strikes.   As I told you the other day, prior to his first start might be his peak value in one year leagues.  I’m sure he’ll be better than he was on Sunday, hopefully for his owners (and him) it’s in his next start.  I wouldn’t turn him down if he were on waivers, but I wouldn’t trade for him in one year leagues either, unless the deal was too good to be true.

Aaron Harang – In the Reds 14 inning game yesterday, Harang did not pitch.

Edwin Encarnacion – Felt soreness in his wrist and is now heading for an MRI.  If you’re counting on big things in the near-future from Edwin, you probably have bigger fish to fry.

Andrew McCutchen – 6-for-16 since his call up and still without a nickname.  Shame on you, Razzballers.

Dan Haren – 7 IP, 1 ER.  After he was removed from the game, he threw on a fake mustache and tried to get back in the game.  Unfortunately, Hinch went with the non-mustachioed until Clay Zavada took the mound in the 13th.  At least I think it was Zavada.

Chad Qualls – 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  Suffering forearm stiffness, I think that’s doctor-speak for, “Capable of surrendering a home run to David Eckstein.”  Potatoes to chips, Tony Pena should be able to pickup a blown save or two in the coming week.

Justin Upton – Left the game with an aggravated left shoulder.  Maybe he shouldn’t have said he liked his right shoulder better.  It didn’t look good.  Hopefully, he’ll be back in a few days.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s out until at least the end of the week.

Chad Gaudin – When the Reds game was over, Dusty flew into San Diego and pitched Gaudin in relief.

Josh Wilson – Backup shortstop pitched in the 18th inning for the Padres.  He looked better than Chad Qualls.

Nelson Cruz - Hit his 17th home run yesterday.  Member what Hamilton did last year?  Yup.  Throw David Eckstein in the middle of the Rangers lineup and he goes 35/110.  Of course, Eckstein would need Chad Qualls to be his designated pitcher.

Jacoby Ellsbury – Day-to-day with a strained shoulder.  Fingers crossed in Beantown that it’s contagious and Ortiz catches it.

Joey Votto – Votto won’t be back when he’s eligible on June 14th.  I’ll let frequent commenter, Sean, sum up everyone’s feelings, “The good news is that Joey Votto doesn’t have the swine flu. The bad news is that he has social anxiety disorder.  Anxiety of what? Hitting another HR in every game that he doesn’t feel dizzy?  Maybe you get to take days off for this shizz in Canada, but where I come from, we bottle up our emotional issues and play like crazy til we have a stroke/heart attack and die prematurely.  Votto could lessen the sting of the scrutiny and judgment of others if he moved into the adult world and called himself Joe or Joseph.”

Randy Wells – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  Through 6 starts, he’s 0-2/1.86/1.01/31.  After Wells’s lead was reduced to rubble by the Cubs bullpen, Wells called Haren for some moral support.  They chitchatted for almost an hour.  Haren finally had to get off the phone to punch Qualls in the mouth.

David Huff – 5 IP, 3 ER vs. the Pale Hose.  The White Sox’s offense is some kind of awful.  Seriously, what happened to this team?

Albert Pujols – Got 2 RBIs on a sac fly.  You know how awful it must make hitters feel who hit behind Pujols when he’s pitched around?  Imagine how it feels when the third base coach sends the guy home from 2nd on a sac fly because of lack of confidence in the next batter.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 8 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks.  Sure, but he didn’t have to face Nick Stavinoha!

Matt Wieters – 0-for-4 and batting .143 with 0 RBIs since his callup.  Aren’t you glad you held him for two months? Just pray Gregg Zaun doesn’t give him any hitting tips.  “When you’re hitting, you keep stepping forward with your left foot.”  “Because I’m a righty.” “You rookies think you know everything!”

Jose Lopez – HR yesterday.  When I saw that he hit a homer, I thought to myself that Lopez has been hot recently so I looked at his splits.  He’s batting .200 in June.  He has been hot!

Sean White – With Aardsma working back-to-back days, White was called on to save yesterday’s game.  I wouldn’t read too much into that.  I would read into that White has 14 walks and 13 Ks on the season.  I’d also read into Morrow has only pitched once in the last 8 days.  Finally, I’d read into Sweet and Low: A Family Story.  Great book.

Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4 Ks, 13 baserunners.  Not a bad start back, until you realize he was facing the Ain’ts.  Last year, he would’ve chewed these guys up and spit out a shutout.

John Maine – Suffering from a dead arm.  Just like Bea Arthur.

Royals prospect Luke Hochevar was called up yesterday to replace Sidney Ponson in the rotation.  But he’s Aruba’s favorite son!  You know who I feel bad for?  The Royals caterer.  With Ponson out of the rotation, who’s going to eat that side of cow he ordered?  Hochevar has been lights out so far in the minors with a .90 ERA, .95 WHIP and 5-0.  His 30 Ks in 40 innings is solid, not quite crazysexycool.   He doesn’t seem like the kind of pitcher that is going to dominate like, say, a Volquez last year.  Fortunately, he’s cut his walks this year.  As I said with Cecil two weeks ago, you pickup Hochevar to see if dominates.  Cause if he does dominate, people will start going gaga goo-goo for him and then you can flip him.  Or you take the rookie pitcher’s thunder, slide it next to your lightning and make it rain.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Joakim Soria – Went to the DL.  Juan Cruz will fill-in mostly, with Jamey Wright maybe seeing the occasional chance.  You’re thinking, I’m not bothering with Cruz, Soria will come back and be fine.  Who cares if he comes back and he’s fine?  Cruz may take the job and hold it for the next two months while accumulating 15 saves.  Or maybe Soria returns fine in a week.  All I know is Soria has said his sore shoulder dates back to WBC (Nice, Selig!) so maybe he doesn’t recover that quickly.  Add Cruz, ask questions later.

Hank Blalock – 2 HRs, 9 on the year and zero DL stints.  Somewhere Nomar shakes his head, disappointed.  Maybe Blalock’s staying healthy because it’s his walk year and he wants to, um, walk.

Jorge De La Rosa – Over the weekend, he threw a spectacular game where he K’d 12 ‘lins.  More importantly, he only walked one.  Walks have always been his issue, but it’s looked like he’s harnessed his control.  I’d throw him in his next start against the Pirates.  Keep in mind, he’s capable of giving you a devastatingly awful start.  High risk/high reward — no pain/no gain and all that shizz.

Troy Tulowitzki – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday in the last three games.  Though he was pulled from game in the ninth with a tweaked quadriceps.  Seemed to be a day-to-day thingawitzki.

Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper left Sunday’s game with elbow soreness.

Rick Porcello – 5 IP, 1 ER.  Was a good matchup for him and he’s a good matchup starter.

Juan Pierre – 6 hits in two games.  Led off yesterday and he stole his third base.  This is what it looks like when Pierre’s flexing.

Orlando Hudson – Hit third yesterday.  Zoinks!

Emmanuel Burriss – Member how hot Bonifacio was the first week?  That’s what Webster’s doing right now.

Kenshin Kawakami – 6 IP, 2 ER.  Myers and him battled in a 1-1 game that looked like it should’ve been a 10-10 game.

Mike Gonzalez – Pitched a scoreless 8th inning because there was three lefties up in the 8th.  Soriano will continue to get the occasional save.

Dustin Pedroia – Tweaked his groin.  Michael Jackson was wildly successful in the 80s doing that.

Jay Bruce – Hit his 10th home run yesterday.  He’s on his way to 30+ homers, 10+ steals and a .270 average.  Bruuuuuce!

Adam Wainwright – 6 IP, 4 ER. Obviously not a stellar start, but the encouraging sign is there was only one walk.  Then again, it was the Reds, not exactly the most patient team.  Wainwright is turning into more of a split between a number two/three fantasy starter, rather than a number one/two.

Ryan Franklin – 1 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Phew, Gagne’s record is safe. Consecutive save record, not the record for the biggest difference between one’s pre- and post-steroid performance.  B. Giles is still going after that record.

Kip Wells – Recorded his first save over the weekend.  I’d place the over/under at 7 and take the under.

Casey Kotchman – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs.  In Friday’s roundup, I thought Kotchman was breaking out.   He now has 2 homers this past week and has tied for the NL lead for doubles.

Bret Cecil – 8 IP, 0 ER.  With Romero set the return, Cecil probably just bought himself a little more time in the rotation.  He gets both colors of the Sox in his next two starts.  If you could flip Cecil for a junky closer right now, I would.  Otherwise, ride the lightning, Lars.

Brad Ziegler – 1 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  I’d say Kazaam, but I don’t even think he’s the closer anymore.  The A’s want Ziegler as a long man in the bullpen and one and two-thirds innings would indicate what the A’s want, they get.

Alexei Ramirez – 0-for-7 since Ozzie put the Nix gun to his head.  [sarcastic] Way to step up! [/sarcastic]

Adam LaRoche – 4-for-May with zero RBIs.  Looks like he’s decided to go cold in the 1st half after all.  Now is that any way to set an example for your little brother.

Brandon Morrow – Returned for the save and to give up a run in a shaky inning.  I’d hold Aardsma for now if you have room.

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 4 ER.  Winning the game, but giving up four runs against the Padres is like winning a stuffed animal for your kid by slipping the carny a twenty spot.

Travis Snider – His May has been terrible and now he’s losing time.  He’ll get some starts and home runs, but he’s a liability for this year because of his average.

Sean Marshall – 5 IP, 2 ER.  Yup, and he gets the ‘Stros next.

Edinson Volquez – 6 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Julio-Reyes-Edison-Edinson Volquez will forever be unpredictable.  If you own him, you just have to accept you’ll never know when he’s going to pitch well.

Cameron Maybin – Demoted after he ran the ‘lins out of a ninth inning rally with a boneheaded mistake.  Oh, and it didn’t help he’s sucked for a month and a half.  Sorry, Maybin, our love affair will continue next February when I publish my sleeper outfielders for 2010.

Chris Coghlan – Didn’t show much this weekend and still showed more than Maybin.

Mariano Rivera – Worked a scoreless save yesterday.  Good thing, because Joba wasn’t available to relieve him. (BTW, how do you spend so much money and not get a bullpen?  George Steinbrenner just rolled over in his scooter.)

Koji Uehara – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  He’s looking a lot more usable than his fellow import, Kawakami.  And his Korean tacos are delicious!

Jim Johnson – Was hit yesterday.  Baez was hit on Saturday.  Tomorrow Sherrill will be hit.  As long as Ray doesn’t pitch, he might be the closer by next weekend.

Joba Chamberlain – 6 IP, 3 ER.  Pattern emerging — tough first inning, then settled down.  Oh, and in honor of yesterday’s Mother’s Day —   Owen doesn’t have a friend!