Carlos Villanueva

Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 24

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 9 Comments

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As always on Saturdays we come to you live and direct with some of the lesser owned two start chaps that may be wandering your waiver wire like a lost kid at the Walgreens.  This week has some tasty options of the buy low variety, and 2 guys that are especially hot and pitching stupid.  Stupid in this case is a good thing, and if I really needed to explain that then, well, stupid does makes sense.  So enjoy this week’s selections of pitchers with that two start persuasion.  (Please note that pitchers and match-ups change.)

Kyle Kendrick (Mia vs LeBlanc, Hou vs Lyles) True story, his porno name would be Sweetums Swampfoot.  Last 5 starts he has been money, 4-1 with an ERA a tick above 1.50, yes that’s a one in front.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

It Won’t Feel As Good When Profar Lacks Hits

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The Rangers are thinking about calling up big-time prospect, Jurickson Profar.  When I saw that news my eyes did the John Lithgow’s eyes when he sees the gremlin on the wing of the plane in Twilight Zone, The Movie.  Then I started thinking, as I’m wont to do on occasion, Kinsler is on lock, Andrus isn’t going anywhere yet, Beltre and Olt can play 3rd, while Young can butcher all 4 positions and fly the “This guy is the heart of our team” flag.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 20

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 12 Comments

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Another week closer to the end.  Well my friends, it is getting to be that time, crunch time.  I wish they sold some kind of crunch machine for this time of the year, as every start becomes more important than the last.   As you are calculating your starts remaining, innings remaining, and most inevitably the trade deadline in your leagues, take a look at where you’re trailing.  It is now the time to do something about it, not yesterday or in 3 days.   This is why we do all that preparation for the draft and read countless blurbs about players.  We want to win or at least look good doing it.  So take this week to make your final push, because it feels better to try and lose then to not care at all.  Good luck and happy fantasy baseballin’.  (Please keep in mind that match-ups and pitchers change.)

Blake Beavan (Tb vs Cobb, Min vs Deduno) Leave it to Beavan, not literally but figuratively.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 19

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 11 Comments

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So my weekly piece comes on the heels of the awesomely fantastic Stream-o-nator, which was dropped by the other fellas that run this piece.   It is a great little widget for fantasy baseball and a great stocking stuffer for the kids come Festivus.  So what else happened in the week since we checked each other out, and, by check you out I mean I was in your neighbor’s tree and all I can say is I like what you have done with your furniture.  Oh… not that checking,  gotcha, we are officially on the same page now.   So the trade deadline dropped some great nuggets of fantasy usefulness, not much in my department of 2-start lads, but still some.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Depressing Red SS Situation Requires Pro Zack

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 95 Comments

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Zack Cozart is a pickup in all leagues where you need a middle infidel.  Go, I’ll wait here.  *scratches chin, yawns, covers mustache with two fingers to see what I look like without it, shakes head*  Welcome back!  Cozart hit 17 homers and stole 30 bases last year.  You know who that reminds me of?  No, not you in high school.  Let it go, man.  It reminds me of Danny Espinosa.  Danny has a bit more power and a bit less speed, but tomato-tomato with a different emphasis.  Cozart also comes with the same potential to be an average drain.  Also, Espinosa and Cozart sounds like a promising TNT drama starring Freddy Prinze Jr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Pujols And His Owners Going Wristerical

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 226 Comments

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Wilson Betemit collided with Albert Pujols and… Why is Wilson Betemit playing?!  He never plays.  Doesn’t your Quad-A Beer Pong Tournament partner, Shelley Duncan, need you for a tourney?  Manzo!  (Which is my new favorite exclamation that means nothing.)  Another tough break (strain?) for a high draft pick.  You high draft picks remind me of my shoe closet — I got one penny and a bunch of loafers!  (Thanks, Lil Penny.)  Pujols supposedly only has a sprained wrist, but will be reevaluated on Monday.  If it’s any more serious than a strain, I suggest Betemit enter the Witness Protection Program.  Your deity of choice willing Pujols will be back on the field in a day or two.  Luckily, Pujols has severed elbow tendons in the past and only missed one game.  Manzo!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Lance Berkman – Didn’t start on Sunday because his back and leg were “barking.”  Sounds like someone has figured out how to appeal to La Russa’s PETA leniencies.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Hart Trick

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 292 Comments

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Corey Hart with 3 homers, 7 RBIs and a pair of sunglasses.  Never surrender, Corey Hart!  In short, you should grab him if he’s on waivers (80% owned in Yahoo).  In shorter, grab him.  In shortest, grab.  He’s streaky like Bret Boone’s hair in the 90′s and this is obviously the start of a good one.  If he’s not on waivers and someone else owns him, you bid him adieu, assuming you’re French.  (I know how much the French are into fantasy baseball.)  Just as I felt in the beginning of the year, I don’t think Hart comes anywhere near his 2010 stats.  Très bummer!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Stephen Strasburg – Threw off the mound for the first time.  His fan club, the House of Strasburg, has time to launder their early-1900s, Austrian officer uniforms as their ordainment of St.

Please, blog, may I have some more?