Playoffs. More like payouts. That’s what I am looking for right now. I know foosball starts on Sunday and I am pretty geeked up, but when there is money on the table I’m excited. I feel like Jimmy Conway after the Lufthansa heist.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Jim Edmonds was a trending topic on Twitter, I figured he died. Turns out he was just taking the Casino Bus to Cincy, though that might be a riverboat. Edmonds will continue to be a part-timer, gaining no value. Maybe one day he’ll garner 25% of a HOF vote and the interwebs will go abuzz with the travesty of it all. But Jim Rice is in! This is worst than season two of Lost! Chris Dickerson goes to the Brewers, but you knew that. You have the internet or you wouldn’t be reading this. Dickerson is currently on the DL. I like him. In a career 401 ABs, Chris Dickerson has 8 homers and 19 steals with a .277 average and a .369 OBP. In Triple-A this year, he had 3 homers and 6 steals in 43 ABs. I say the Brewers should play him, but I don’t make those decisions. Who is playing? Lorenzo Cain. In 331 ABs in Triple-A, Cain had 26 steals and a .402 OBP with a .317 average. Yes, and thank you. Carlos Gomez is due back at some point too, but he’s not good at, you know, baseball. My guess is Cain and Dickerson, when healthy, will see some sort of platoon. I’d grab Cain right now for speed, then wait to see how this dumbo pot gets stirred. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – If you thought his playing time would be squeezed by just sucking on the suckhole, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Edmonds will definitely take time from Stubbs. Heisey’s a better batter too (say that fast 45 times). BTW, Stubbs and Carlos Gomez should be on the same team. Unfortunately, it’s a track team, not a baseball one.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Rolen says he’s going to try to avoid the DL because of his hamstring. Dusty said, “Too bad he can’t pitch because they don’t use their legs. Except in soccer.” It doesn’t sound too promising for Rolen. Injuries are old hat for Rolen. He makes everyone else besides Glass Chipper seem healthy. On top of the injury, Rolen was hitting .182 in July with zero homers. If I owned him, I’d hope he went to the DL, so I can store him on my DL while grabbing another player. Either way, I’d start making other plans because a Rolen that’s playing injured isn’t an exciting hitter to have on your team. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th steal to go along with his 13 homers. He’s batting .500 over the last week and has been valuable the whole year, even with the ridiculous amount of strikeouts. Would’ve been a good player to fingercuff.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After hours of rumors about a trade to the Yankees, Cliff Lee was traded to the Rangers. Going the other way, Justin Smoak and some prospects. We’ll get to Smoak in a bit. You know who I really feel sorry for in this whole Cliff Lee ordeal. The poor, poor New York Yankees. Now they have to make due with CC, Vazquez, Hughes, Pettitte, Tex, Posada, Jeter, Swisher, Gardner, Cano and A-Rod. Here’s hoping they can acquire Werth for the first man off the bench position. Or Oswalt for middle relief. My pet crocodile is crying for them. Cliff Lee threw a 2.52 ERA in Citizens Flank last year with 40 Ks and 5 BBs. Is The Flank that much better than Arlington? No, it’s not. He’s still in the AL West, at least, and not the AL East. His first start vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jimmy Rollins went 0-for-4 in his return from the DL. After the game, Charlie Manuel said… Actually, no one’s sure because he was chewing a piece of straw at the time. I wouldn’t just yet start blowing your vuvuzela at your TV set that’s broadcasting the Philly game expecting an explosive 2nd half from Rollins. J-Roll lost 16 steals from 2008 to 2009 and is now 31-years-old and on a bad set of wheels. He’s in a great place to succeed — the Philly lineup and hitter-friendly Citizens Flank. In a half a season, you may only get 10/15 with a .270 average. It’s nice, but this isn’t your slightly older brother’s NL MVP anymore. This is a guy that is one poor 2nd half away from plummeting in the shortstop rankings. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jamie Moyer – 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 5 Ks. He attributes his success to how well he prepares for each opponent. Here he is checking the Indians’ scouting report.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Haren got the win yesterday, but his line was 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners and 5 Ks. Did he see his shadow in Spring Training and now think spring w0n’t start until August? Someone inform this young brother it’s the pre-All-Star Break. Ergo, therefore, vise a vie, he’s supposed to be pitching well now. He only has about a month before he turns into summer squash. Right? Well, what if he pitches well in the 2nd half this year? I know, it’s crazy talk from a guy that pees into milk bottles. So far this year, he has his best K-rate of his career. He has the 8th best K-rate in the major leagues. He also has the 2nd best K/BB in all of baseball. Just behind Roy Halladay. At his current rate, Haren would have his worst ERA since his first half year. That shizz doesn’t add up. Striking out people, not walking people and a terrible ERA? I know the 2nd half Boogie Monster scares Haren pretty good, but I think he might be able to fight the 2nd half terrors this year if his luck just evens out a little bit. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Dana Eveland – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 0 Ks. Has a K:BB ratio of 21:29, which looks like a Roland Emmerich film. Both are terrible, by the way.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas. 3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was. The lack of Ks? How second nature these terrible starts have become for Beckett? Or the amount of wood the Jays were getting after seeing Beckett’s pitches?Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week is bloated with guys who are most likely owned in your league. Or guys that should be owned. Though maybe not in ESPN abandoned leagues. ESPN owners, raise your hand if you’re not here. Guess they’re not here either.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano moves to the bullpen. Whaaaa??? Oh. Wait, what? Somewhere, Dusty Baker just tipped his “Crazy Manager Move” hat to Sweet Lou. Dusty, “After Harang complained of arm soreness, I needed him for another 140 pitches the next day, so I fashioned a pitching arm out of rubber bands and a dead giraffe. Some saw that as crazy, but this Big Z move takes the cake.” Are the Cubs building a new and improved frankencloser, Carlos Zambarmol? Close game, two men on, starter’s tiring… You want Carlos Zambrano entering the game or leaving it? That’s not even rhetorical. That’s common sense, isn’t it? As Lou ever seen Zambrano pitch? This is the guy you want coming into pressure situations? Wow, what a move. I want to say there’s no way this move lasts, but Zambrano’s also not that valuable to wait it out. Lose him in fantasy like Sweet Lou lost his mind. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alfonso Soriano – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and he hit his 2nd homer as he bats .327 on the year. He also has one more steal than Alcides Escobar. Not as glamorous as he used to be, but should get to a 25/10 year, assuming the knees he borrowed from The Mummy hold up.Please, blog, may I have some more?