Fantasy Baseball Advice

Brandon Phillips isn’t the shiniest tool in the toolbox, but he hit two homers off Beachy yesterday.  He’s gone from a 30/30 2nd baseman to a 20/20 2nd baseman to now an 18/15 2nd baseman, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely screwed if you overpaid for him on draft day.  As long as Dusty hits him between Votto and Bruce, good ol’ Brandon should deliver above average R/RBI at a solid average.  He might not be as sexy as an Altuve or a Jemile, but he’ll probably be a better value the rest of the way.  BTW, even if you didn’t own him last night, the best thing about BP wrecking another Beachy was we didn’t have to sit through a celebrity telethon and Sean Penn’s sourpuss.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, here’s the latest podcast. We talk about the Nats bullpen, Brandon Beachy and I read a poem I wrote for Gio Gonzalez.   If that’s not enough for you, Rudy references Lil Jon and drops an F-bomb, which isn’t as deadly as an A-Bomb, but nearly as effective.  Anyway II, here’s the roundup and podcast:

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Zack Cozart – He homered again yesterday for his second in two days because he wants to make it up to me for his early season struggles.  At least that’s what my ventriloquist dummy wearing a Cozart jersey told me.

Mat Latos – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks.  I want everyone to promise me one thing.  If you don’t want to own Latos right now because of his ERA roller coaster ride, write it down somewhere that you won’t read until next March.  So when you see his 3.50 ERA from 2012, you don’t draft him and then want to drop him for the first 6 weeks of next season too.

R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks.  When asked in the clubhouse where’d these strikeouts come from, Dickey said he pictured all the batters were his childhood bullies who used to pick on him.  Must’ve been hard for a guy named Dickey who was a knuckleballer.

Frank Francisco – Pitched a perfect inning for his 11th save.  Only during the Closepocalypse could a guy with 11 saves and a 7.13 ERA appear good.

James McDonald – Had another great start (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks).  E I E I Own!

Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Limps has returned, and homered.  Opa!

Adrian Gonzalez – Comatose Red Sox Fan, “A-Gon is in the outfield?  So Ortiz is playing first and it’s interleague play?”  Nope.  “Our pitching is doing well, but we’re trying to squeeze in more offense?”  Nuh-uh.  “Please, tell me we’re at least in first for the Wild Card.”  You might want to sit down for this.  The A-Gonz outfield experiment is lasting beyond interleague as the Sawx are stuck with Middlebrooks and Youuuuuuuk at the corners.  Maybe while in the outfield, A-Gonz can reacquaint himself with the area behind the fences.  Not sure if he’ll play there enough to gain OF-eligibility outside 5 game leagues, but it can’t hurt his value.  Hopefully he can avoid the injury curse that is befalling all the Sawx OFs (Crawford, Ellsbury, McDonald, Ross, Kalish….)

Scott Podsednik – I’m gonna go out on a limb and say if you played any post-collegiate outfield, you could receive a call from the Red Sox.  This includes Matt Stairs’ Steak and Keggers Softball League.

Gavin Floyd – 3 2/3 IP, 9 ER pitching at home against the Twins.  Yowza!  Floyd is generally a safe 5th/6th SP in shallow leagues, but you just ask that he does this against a good opponent so you have a proper heads-up.  Party foul, Gavin.

Gordon Beckham – 3rd HR in 4 games (and Vernon Wells robbed him of a HR the game before that).  Not bad for the most British-sounding 2B since William Randolph.

Travis Wood – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, as he was recalled by the Cubs to take Volstad’s spot in the rotation.  Wood had a 4.57 ERA in Triple-A this year.  That’s depressing, until you think about how fortunate you are that you’re not the Red Sox outfield.

Bryan LaHair – Sat out yesterday because he’s in a 1-for-20 skid.  And here I thought he’d hit .400 this year.  I’m glad I didn’t request MLB to defrost Ted Williams’ head.  On May 11th, when I told you to sell him, he had a .384 average with 8 homers.  He now has 10 homers with a .315 average.  He could be a platoon player by June 15th.

Alfonso Soriano – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer.  At least he’s having the decency to hit so it’s not completely laughable that the Cubs will find someone to take him off their hands.  Kinda laughable, just not completely.

Jeff Francoeur – 2-for-4 with his 3rd homer in… Let’s see how many times have I told you to own him in the last week?

Matt Carpenter – Left yesterday’s game with an injury to his side.  Just when you thought the oblique couldn’t get any vaguer, teams are now just calling it an injured side.

Michael Bourn – 2 homers yesterday.  That’s typically a season for him.  Did his 3rd round drafter Matthew Berry erase his memory and Bourn suddenly assumed a power-hitting identity?

Vance Worley – Hopes to pitch again even after visiting Dr. Freeze.  Here’s what frequent commenter, Cahhhhh-stanza, said, “Jo Anne’s son, Vance, went to see Dr. Freeze Monday for a 2nd opinion.  His first opinion?  Your mom’s best acting was on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.  His second opinion?  I think a 12-18 month vacation may be in your future.”

Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 5 ER.  I’m officially concerned.  Is this the beginning of the end for him being a number one?  Citizens Flank is obviously not the friendliest of ballparks for pitchers, but that hasn’t changed from the last two years.  Luckily, you didn’t draft him and just went with Anibal and Gio to anchor your staff like I told you.

P.J. Walters – The ex-Cardinal had a complete game victory vs. the White Sox – giving up 2 ER and 8 Ks.  That’s 3-for-3 in quality starts so far.  His minor league stats don’t hint at this being his breakout season, but maybe PJ’s turning into a sleeper.

Robinson Cano – 1-for-3 with his 5th homer.  Still off the 8 homer, Ian Desmond pace car.

Josh Bell – 1-for-4 with a homer.  He was hitting the feathers out of the chicken (that’s a saying) in Triple-A.  He was also striking out more than a beagle in heat (also, a saying).  I wouldn’t want him for the long term, but he has everyday playing time and might stay hotter than a camel riding a furnace (not a saying).

J.J. Putz – 3rd blown save last night with 1 IP, 2 ER.  Dickey and Putz’s fortunes seem to be going in opposite directions like Siamese twins connected at the back.  After Putz lived up to his name last night, it might be wise for his owners to handcuff themselves to David Hernandez.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners (6 BBs), 2 Ks.  Six walks and two Ks?  Did Francisco Liriano’s doctor do some ‘minor’ surgery on Ubaldo?

Tyler Clippard – Davey Johnson reached into his bag of relievers and pulled out Clippard to save the game against the Phillies.  Nice 1-2-3 inning.  Now get back in the bag, Tyler, before Davey Boy goes all bulldog on ya.  BB-Rod is safe to drop for Craig “The Pistol” Stammen, Sean Burnett or Tyler Clippard.  If I were picking them up, I’d do it in reverse order.  Unless you’re reading this in a mirror.  .tops dlab eht eciton neve t’nac ,doog skool riah ruoY

Ryan Zimmerman – Sat out yesterday with shoulder soreness.  I’m hoping it’s a coverup because Jordan Zimmermann pitched and they only have one jersey.

Alex Avila – Hit his 5th homer yesterday.  If someone grew bored of the .220-ish hitting Avila, he’s a decent guy to grab off waivers.  No reason to think he can’t get back to respectable.  That sounds like a title of an R&B album, Get Back To Respectable.  A soulful journey as one woman gets back on her feet after a terrible breakup, as sung by Grey Albright.

C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 7 Ks.  Of course, if you read any other site, the lead story is Pujols hit a home run.  Then twenty minutes of Bruce Harper, then what does Pujols think of Bryce Harper.

Elliot Johnson – 3-for-4 with his 8th steal.  Kinda annoyed I missed out on him in the RCL, but I got Cozart homering now.  Small booya.

Carlos Pena – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer as he hit leadoff.  …HA!  Sorry, tried to keep a straight face there.  The Rays are so good, Maddon can’t even Mr. Bungle them.  Luke Scott also homered.  As we know from past experiences, Scott and Pena only homer 5 times in a ten day span, never once.

Hanley Ramirez – 3-for-5 with 2 steals.  Now him and Reyes are red hot.  Or is that red-orange?

Brian Matusz – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks against the Sawx.  Tip of the hat for the huge nutsacked owners who started him in this matchup.  That includes those whose nutsacks are enlarged due to a medical condition and who happened to have Matusz in their starting rotation before going to the hospital.

Wilson Betemit – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer.  Sure, I should’ve went with Betemit over Ryan Zimmerman, but a lot of good that’s doing me now!

Adam Wainwright – 4 hit shutout against the Padres with 9 Ks.  We told everyone who listened to last week’s podcast to buy him as it only seemed like a matter of time before he Wainwrighted the ship.  We have one word for how that must’ve tasted…

Yan Gomes – The Brazilian whacks another one!  Just an FYI to those of you who are getting sick of LaHair in that slot.

I hate guys that are injured before the season even starts.  I should’ve emphasized that more in the preseason.  I should’ve followed my gut on that with Stanton too.  At least Stanton can play through the nagging pain (hopefully), on the other hand, Mike Morse is shut down for 6 weeks and he has a history of injuries.  (Can you tell I’m still reeling a bit on the Stanton news?  It’s like a teenage love…Don’t…Don’t hurt me again…) As for Morse, he was a former roider (RIP, Lyle Alzado, I don’t know football, but I enjoyed your random guest spots on bad 80′s TV shows) and they say that tends to break down a player’s body.  It’s all very sad (actually, I’m still thinking about Stanton; don’t worry, I’ll move on by Monday).  I don’t think this moves up Bryce Harper’s ETA. (Doesn’t ETA always make you think of business-speak by people who do jobs that you don’t understand even after they explain them?  “I’m a marketing consultant for our foreign sales team.”  You’re making up a job and you hide in a cubicle.  Why don’t I have one of those jobs?)  I think you should lower your expectations for Morse to 17 homers and 90 games played.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Sike!  Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to say you should sign up for the Draft Day freeroll.  What’s a freeroll?  Honestly, I have no clue.  I think it’s, like, a season of fantasy baseball in one day.  “But I want players to annoy me for 162 games!”  I know, but it’s free and Rudy did it last week and had fun, so I guess there’s no harm in it.  You can win some cold hard cash and get yourself a $12 salad!  The cut off is Saturday at 1:05 PM EST.  Anyway II, here’s the roundup:

Mat Latos – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 1 K.  He didn’t pitch incredibly well (1 K — belch), but he only had one bad inning, which was because Ryan Ludwick is playing the outfield instead of Heisey.  Ludwick barely moved over to get a Gio Gonzalez blooper that started the inning where Latos gave up two earned.  Get Ludwick out of there and play The Juice Box (Heisey — Hi-C — The Juice Box — what?).  Juice Box!  Juice Box!  Juice Box!

Ryan Ludwick – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs.  Why is he playing?  He’s batting .133.  We need to see more? Okay, .240 and 18 homers, that’s more if he plays the whole season.  Who cares?  Dusty, take the toothpick out of your mouth and bench him!  (I’m only slightly annoyed at him because he drove in the two runs that cost me my Gio win, which was a whole nutter shizz show.  Zimmerman should’ve had that Ludwick grounder.  Get off your heels and dive!  How do I not get the win from Gio…Wait, not even there yet…)

Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, no walks, 7 Ks.  How do you not get this win?  Pick a closer — or just pick Henry Rodriguez — and let him close games!  Dive, Zimmerman!  Juice Box!  Juice Box!  Juice– Okay, Grey, breath… Being completely objective, the home plate ump had a nice strike zone and the Reds get pretty neutralized by lefties.  Gio still pitched a great game.  Though the no walks thing will be a rarity.

Anthony Rendon – Nats prospect fractured his left ankle and will miss a few months.  He was fitted for a walking boot, which Bryce Harper signed in pine tar, writing “wuz” instead of “was.”

David Wright – Was cleared to return to game action (if his finger doesn’t hurt him).  I put that second part in parentheses because that’s the part you leave off when you try to sell Wright to someone in your league.  It’s April.  If you’re the Mets, do you let your star 3rd baseman play with a broken finger or do you sit him for a month?  Okay, try and think about that again, but this time don’t pretend you’re the Mets.  Still same answer?  I had a different one.

Madison Bumgarner – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Great game from the Bum, but why was he brought back out for the 8th inning?  He was over 100 pitches and he hit 3rd the previous inning.  He needed to face Tyler Colvin for 13 foul tips?  Colvin — singer/songwriter/fouler.  You’d think if anyone would be a fouler on that team, it’d be Dexter.

Brian Wilson – 1 IP, 1 ER.  Was far uglier than that, and I’m not talking about the beard.  Wilson loaded the bases, walked in a run, needed the trainer to come out because it looked like his arm was bothering him (was hard to see around Bochy’s head) and could barely find the plate even when he was getting hitters out.  I grabbed Casilla while the trainer was still on the mound.  Romo is the better arm, but Bochy seems to favor Casilla for saves.  Looking for the next big closer to go down, here ya go.

Francisco Liriano – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Giving up 10 baserunners in 5 innings is bad enough, but the Liriano-Mauer battery ended up giving up 5 SBs in 5 innings to the Angels (whose team speed is not to be confused with the ’85 Cardinals).  In 134 IP last year, Liriano only was stolen on 9 times.  Is there any other part of his game that Liriano can regress for us — maybe bite his tongue when chewing on sunflower seeds?

Matt Capps – 1 IP, 2 ER and the save.  Almost had a Cappsizing.

Denard Span – 4-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI and a steal.  Here’s a fun thing for Topps baseball cards.  They should do one of those novelty dual cards with Span and Billy Butler.  Have it titled, “Spanning the Globes,” and Span stands behind Butler cupping his moobs.

Joe Mauer/Justin Morneau – The M&M boys both homered in yesterday’s game against the Angels in Target Field.  The odds on that exacta were so tiny that, if anyone bought it, Scott Downs would’ve been bankrupted.  Just in case Downs got any ideas, someone made sure he couldn’t walk off the field.

Josh Willingham – 3-for-5 with his 4th homer of the year.  The Other White Meat is red hot.  That is all.

Lance Berkman – Has a small tear in his left calf.  A small tear on a calf?  That sounds like a Guatemalan harbinger of doom.  Berkman says he can return on Tuesday.  Not sure how someone of his age is going to be playing in less than a week with a muscle tear in his calf, and I don’t mean that like, “Hey, he’s going to be playing next Tuesday at 100% and I’m gonna be surprised.”  No, I meant it like, “He’s going to be at 75% and then need the DL at some point.”

Dan Haren – 5 IP, 9 H, 1 BB, 3 ER, 7 Ks against the Twinkies in Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome with all the runs scoring on a 3-run HR by Mauer.  As Rudy mentioned on the Risky Pitcher post, Haren was heavily dependent on his cutter last year — wouldn’t be surprised if his April struggles (6.97 ERA) are a harbinger of Haren’s first non-borderline ace year in a long time.

Mark Trumbo – 2-for-4 with a slam & legs.  He’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  It’s gonna be a doozie to end all doozies!

Carlos Pena - 2-for-3 with his 3rd homer.  Remember, he won’t stop hitting homers until around Monday, when he’ll go so ice cold you’ll be looking to chuck Pena.

Jeff Keppinger – 0-for-5 batting cleanup yet again for the Rays.  The Rays are so against giving Longoria any protection that they’ve disabled his home alarm system and are poking holes in his condoms.

Kyle Seager – 1-for-4, and a homer.  He’ll also be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  I told you it’s got doozie written all over it.

Matt Garza – 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks.  It’s an ExtravaGarza!

Drew Smyly -  4 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He has very little experience as a professional, which doesn’t seem to stand in the way of the Tigers (see Porcello).  He looks like he has strikeout stuff, but as I tell my girlfriends, beware the small sample size.  I wouldn’t go near him outside of AL-Only leagues for the time being.  For now, Drew’s a consolation prize SP on his dad Guy’s game show.

Jed Lowrie – Should return from the DL on Friday.  Watch out rusty Astros lineup, here comes your booster shot!

Zack Greinke – 3.2 IP, 8 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  We love Greinke, but this gave us bad flashbacks to his infamous “Greink’d” moments prior to his Cy Young year.  Hopefully next outing he’ll be able to put away batters when he gets to 2 strikes.  If I were the type to calculate xFIP and not just read it at other sites, I’d say Greinke was hella unlucky yesterday.  Then I’d fist bump someone and explode my fist, or something equally douchey that is done by people that say hella.

Jamie Moyer – The last remaining Leftosaurus threw about as good a start as you can hope for him @COL (5.2 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners).  Pitching Moyer in the mile high air is like pitching Justin Verlander on the moon.

Even though major league teams have only played 3 or 4 games, RCL managers have been extremely active, averaging 50 moves per league. 10.6% of rostered players were picked up from the free agent pool. Factoring in players on the DL, you’re still left with the fact that 8% of drafted players have been dumped after only 3 full days of action.

Of course, many of those moves occurred before the season started, and in the week between the 2 games in Japan and the “real” start to the season. And 58% involved relief pitchers. Some of that is managers taking advantage of the RCL’s Game Started rather than Innings Pitched limit (more on that later), but the majority appear to be chasing saves, guessing who might be the next to get the opportunities as injuries and struggling pitchers abound in the relief corps. 19 pitchers have recorded 26 saves so far this season. 4 leagues have an almost perfect score with 25 saves; I don’t think anybody owned Brian Shaw, who picked up the save for Arizona yesterday as J.J. Putz was rested. Congratulations RCL 24, ECFBL, Robust Herd, and Schmohawk in Training. 41 other leagues have 22-24 saves, while the remaining 3 have 19, 20, and 21.

18 trades involving 54 players have already been made. The biggest names involved were in RCL 38, where Big Mess traded the 13th overall pick, Carlos Gonzalez, to Team Arnold for Hanley Ramirez, the 16th pick. Big Mess had not drafted a shortstop until the 20th round (Yunel Escobar), while Team Arnold had also taken Elvis Andrus in the 5th. In RCL 46, Team Stacy traded Andrew McCutchen to Hooka Man for Drew Stubbs and J.J. Putz. RPs were included in 8 deals, with Mariano Rivera and Heath Bell among those changing teams.

OK, as promised, some thoughts on our pitching limits. For those of you in your first season in the RCL, the 180-game started limit (approximately 1 start per day) is probably different than what you are used to. It makes management of your rotation more important to get the maximum numbers from your key starters. Middle relievers also become more valuable, as you can get ratio help and add Ks without eating into your 180 starts. And, it is important to remember, stats from relievers continue to count after you reach the games started limit. It is also possible to get a few extra starts, as all stats will count on the day you reach the 180-game limit. So, if you load up on starters for that day, you could actually finish with 188 starts. See 2011 results here.

TEAM OF THE WEEK – March 28 – April 8
snooki’s baby daddy (Balls and Razz)
.304(49/161) 27 R/7 HR/28 RBI/11 SB	40.2 IP 38 K/4 W/1.55/0.93/3 S
snooki’s baby daddy rode Matt Kemp (.412/6 R/2 HR/8 RBI/1 SB) and Carlos Pena (.500/2 HR/7 RBI) to 1st place in their league with 106.5 points. Their pitching was even more impressive, with Jeremy Hellickson, Justin Verlander, Zack Greinke, and Johnny Cueto totaling 30.2 shutout innings.

There’s a theorem that says if you gave a monkey a typewriter and an infinite amount of time, it could produce a Shakespearean sonnet.  My question is, what if every monkey with a typewriter writes something more ingenious than anything Shakespeare ever came up with, but since we don’t have monkey brains (entirely), we don’t understand it?  Deep Thoughts with Grey Albright.  As for the theorem, how much monkeying around does it take in Boston to get one Bard?  The Red Sox got the infinity part of the theorem right (Aceves’s ERA and WHIP), and they got what you usually get from a monkey and a typewriter… Crap thrown against a wall.  Mark Melancon’s ERA is 36.00 and WHIP is 5.00, which looks downright beautiful compared to Alfredo Aceves’s ERA and WHIP which are just letters — INF, and if you owned Aceves for fantasy you know the INF stands for I am Now F***ed.  To be, or not to be:  the real question is who will close for the Red Sox?  Bobby Valentine hinted they might go to Daniel Bard.  Valentine doth protest too much, methinks!  Of course, Bard should be the closer.  You mean the one pitcher with the stuff to close that is now in the rotation that doesn’t have starter stuff?  Over the last three years, Bard has the third most Holds, 213 Ks and 1.06 WHIP in 197 innings.  But no Holds, Bard, now.  Thine own self be true, and thine self is a closer.  Give him saves.  In the meanwhile, trattorias in Boston’s North End are adding Fedupfitzy Alfredo to their specials.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks.  This Tigers/Red Sox series lived up its billing, and that billing was, “Both teams have one ace, then agita.”

Austin Jackson – 4-for-6, 3 runs yesterday and 8-for-14 in the series.  In related news, Vanity sang her big hit, Nasty Girl, at karaoke.

Max Scherzer – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  If Max Scherzer sounds like a character that Michael Chabon created, then yesterday the Nazis won.

Doug Fister – Off to the DL with a costochondral strain.  That’s what you get when you eat too many $1.50 hot dogs at Costco.

Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and a homer.  On Saturday, 2 homers and 3 RBIs.  Now hitting .455, which coincidentally is his BAC.

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 5 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The Giants three-headed ace (Lincainbum?, Caincecumgarner?) didn’t fare so well in Arizona as the Giants’ petition to play their next series in Arizona in the Grand Canyon.

Brandon Belt – 1-for-10 this weekend with 5 Ks, as he was out-hit by his bench replacement Brett Pill (1-for-1 with a homer).  I’m not making excuses, but I think for Passover Brandon Belt was replaced by his Jewish doppelganger.

Buster Posey – 2-for-4 with a homer and no broken ankles.

Aaron Hill – Homered twice on Saturday.  Love to see him combine his crazy homer year of 2009 and crazy steal year of 2011.  Imagine 36 homers and 21 steals from Aaron Hill.  Will take a whole lotta tryin’ to just get up that Hill.

Bryan Shaw – Got the save yesterday since Putz recorded saves in the first two games of the season.  Nothing to see here, the Diamondbacks just aren’t jerking around with their Putz.

Jay Bruce – Hit his 2nd and 3rd homers yesterday.  I’m Eskimo-kissing Jay Bruce on all of my fantasy teams.

Zack Cozart – 1-for-3 yesterday and hit a homer on Saturday as he bats .545.  You don’t want to know what I’m doing to Cozart on all my fantasy teams.

Heath Bell – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he joined every reliever in major league baseball and blew the save.  Why do I feel like 2012 is the year we all do Chinese fire drills on closers?

Chris Perez – Got the save yesterday after I got to the red light, ran around the car, grabbed Pestano and got back in the car.  I’m sure we’ll hit another red light by Wednesday.

Carlos Santana – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with 2 homers.  I don’t own Carlos Santana anywhere, but as long as he’s not doing duets with Rob Thomas I’m happy.

Corey Hart – 3 HRs over the weekend.  Shame on those of you who didn’t get the memo that he does really well overcoming spring training injuries in even years.

Ryan Braun – Homered on Sunday.  The homer is under review because it was postmarked on Friday.

Fernando Rodney – 2 outs, 2 saves over the weekend.  First Farnsworth, now Rodney.  Joe Maddon is like the Crappy Reliever Whisperer.

B.J. Upton – Expected to return April 20th.  Just think, if the Rays were married to this then they’d have to a wait a lot longer for a B.J.

Carlos Pena – Hit his second homer of the weekend yesterday.  He’s the kind of player that hits 7 homers in 10 games, then 20 Ks in 5 games, so get in while the gettin’ in is good.

Jeremy Hellickson – 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Pitched a superb game for the “Grey Says He Hates These Guys, Let’s Make Grey Look Wrong” team.

Mike Minor – 5 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Here’s me yesterday, “Hey, Minor’s through 3 innings with 5 Ks and only one run.  Finally, one of my pitchers is performing.  It’s about time.  I won’t look back at this game, so I don’t jinx it.”  That No-Look/No-Jinx worked out perfectly!  I will now stick my head in the oven.

Lucas Duda – Hit 2 homers on Saturday.  Oh, what a Duda day.

Jason Hammel – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks as he switched bodies with Gio Gonzalez, Madison Bumgarner, Matt Cain and Yovani Gallardo.  Not cool, Jason Hammel, not cool at all.

Vance Worley – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks making his mom, Jo Anne, so proud and me, since he was, like, the only pitcher that I liked that did well this first weekend.  On a serious note, don’t throw out the baby with the fantasy team.  There’s only three games played for most teams.  You want your pitchers to come out and pitch well, but Bumgarner, for instance, had an ERA over 6 last April.  Gallardo’s ERA was also over 6 last April.  You can’t win your league in April, but you can lose it by overreacting.  Chillax is the portmanteau of the day.

Juan Nicasio – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Pitched a terrific game until Rex Brothers blew it for him.  Last time, I buy furniture from him.

Wilin Rosario – Homered in his first start of the year.  Can we get someone to Gillooly Ramon Hernandez?

Bud Norris – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Triceps issue behind him, and now unto bigger and better injuries like shoulders and obliques!

Eric Hosmer – Homered in back-to-back games this weekend and had the always-delicious slam & legs on Easter Sunday.  Guessing Moustakas is waiting until next Sunday to do the same.

Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with a homer.  Way to show up to the party 12 months late.

Lance Lynn – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Looking for someone that can come out of nowhere and be valuable?  Here ya go.

Jeff Samardzija – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Someone already grabbed Lance Lynn, but you’d prefer a guy with a last name you can’t pronounce?  You’re in luck!

Matt Kemp – ESPN reported, Kemp homered on Sunday to extend his hitting streak to 16 games.  Huh?  Did the Dodgers and Padres play back-to-back-to-back quintupletheaders?

Dustin Moseley – To the DL with a strained right shoulder.  What an odd thing to find in your colander.

Chase Headley – 1-for-2, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer in Petco and equaling his Petco homer output from last year.  Chase “Doing Just Enough To Stay Rostered on Your Fantasy Teams” Headley.

Hector Santiago – With heat from the fantasy baseball community and Nolan Ryan, Robin Ventura finally relented and decided on Hector Santiago to close, saying Thornton will maintain his 8th inning role.  Not sure why it took so long for Ventura to say that.  It’s like the White Sox manager hat is The Mask.

On Base Percentage (OBP) is what Skynet created for the Oakland A’s so they could win the World Series and ruin baseball.

Actually, that doesn’t sound quite right. I think OBP is the brew baseball writers’ fermented in a basement to scare Andre Dawson, or it was the reason pitchers feared Jim Rice, thereby making him a Hall of Famer.

I’m all confused. But, apparently, Razzball readers and commentators aren’t. According to the recent survey we conducted (to mine all of your personal information to sell to Facebook), a ton of you play in leagues that swap out average for those crazy on base skills. Accordingly, this changes the value of several players:

Jose Bautista: Over the last three seasons (including Bautista’s generally poor 2009), Bautista has the eighth best OBP. Last season, Bautista was just .001 behind the OBP leader, Miguel Cabrera, and over the last two seasons, Bautista has the third best OBP in all of baseball. The only glaring weakness in Jose Bautista’s armor is average. If you substitute OBP, Bautista is a legitimate best-player-in-the-format candidate.

Lance Berkman: Berkman’s .412 OBP last year was the fifth best in all of baseball and not far off his career mark (.409). While Berkman’s average is typically useful, his OBP is top 10, making him a four-category stud. With OBP instead of average, Berkman should pass the likes of Paul Konerko, Mark Teixeira, and Eric Hosmer and is a top six first baseman.

Adam Dunn: Until 2011, Dunn was the answer to the question of who benefits most from the switch to OBP. Last season, he posted an OBP under .300. Oddly enough his walk rate was close to his career norm, but his already high K-rate spiked, his ISO and BABIP cratered and he hit .159. Dunn can walk and appears to be approaching 2012 with more determination. A return to .350 OBP is certainly plausible and has some upside. Last season, Mike Stanton with a .356 OBP had the 40th best mark.

Prince Fielder: Fielder and Pujols have the same OBP over the last three seasons. During that time, Pujols has just 10 more HRs and eight more RBIs. In addition, during that same span, Cabrera has an OBP .012 points higher, 14 less HRs and 10 less RBIs. Fielder isn’t the top 1B in OBP leagues, but he isn’t far off. His move to the American League could depress his numbers somewhat, but in OBP leagues, he is a top producer.

Carlos Pena: While Carlos Pena’s OBP skills do not produce league leading rates, they do erase the stank displeasure of his putrid batting average. Pena has a .239 career average, but .352 OBP. A first baseman capable of hitting 25-30 HRs with a .355 OBP is top-10 consideration.

Mark Reynolds: Like Pena, Reynolds makes an untenable batting average disappear with a superior walk rate. For his career, his OBP is about 100 points higher than his batting average. While his .323 OBP last season was tied for 99th best, it’s a far cry from where his average would rank him. Reynolds is an incredibly attractive option in OBP leagues, as his immense power is not entirely derailed by a sub-optimal OBP. Grab Reynolds with confidence that you will get a .330 OBP, with 35 HRs and near 100 runs and RBIs.

Carlos Ruiz: Over the last three seasons, Ruiz trails only Joe Mauer in OBP. His .376 mark is far ahead of the third place healthy backstop Brian McCann. An afterthought in most leagues, Ruiz can provide solid catcher production in OBP leagues at virtually no cost. Pencil Ruiz in for a .365 OBP, eight HRs and 50+ runs and RBIs.

Nick Swisher: Nick Swisher in an on base cyborg. When you throw out Ryan Braun, Jose Bautista and Lance Berkman, Swisher has the fourth best OBP over the last three seasons (behind Matt Holliday, Shin-soo Choo and Carlos Beltran). With Swisher’s .365 OBP and the Yankee line-up, runs and RBIs will be there. He’ll also add good pop and, best of all, you don’t have to worry about his .255 average.

Ben Zobrist: Zobrist, who walks at a great clip, has the ability to post the second best OBP at the position (behind Dustin Pedroia). A basic 20-20 guy with 100 runs and RBI potential, Zobrist takes a massive step forward in OBP leagues when they do away with his .260 average.

OBP Sleeper Values

Daric Barton: Over the last three seasons (1,158 plate appearances), Barton has a .373 OBP. He crashed and burned last season, but still posted an above average walk rate. If healthy, Barton should post a .365 OBP with 10 or so HRs, 80 runs and 70 RBIs. He could be a sneaky value in OBP leagues.

Jack Cust: Like Barton, Cust was horrible last year. However he had a .366 OBP from 2009-2011 and is moving from two difficult parks (Oakland and Seattle) to the hitter friendlier Houston and NL Central. In the easier league, Cust’s walk rate should play tremendously, possibly to the tune of a .370 OBP. He could also add 20-25 HRs and solid RBIs. As a flier, Cust’s upside makes the gamble reasonable.

Dexter Fowler: If only Fowler knew how to steal bases! His .365 OBP and 12.1% walk rate last season was a good step forward and echoed his minor league successes. He’ll likely only produce two categories: runs and OBP, but has a decent shot at 20 steals and upside to more if he ever figures out how to use his speed.

Jason Heyward: While Heyward hasn’t quite become a star, he knows how to get on base (13.2% walk rate, .362 OBP). In addition, his legitimate and realistic upside to 20+ HRs and 15 SBs make him worth reaching for in drafts. As he gets on base, he’ll score runs and has a solid shot at triple digits. At the worst, you have a solid run and OBP contributor with a little pop and speed.

Nate McLouth: Aside from a rough 2010, McLouth has shown above average on base skills. In fact, he posted double digit walk rates in every season since 2007, excepting 2008. As a late flier, McLouth makes a ton of sense. He should post a .345 OBP, get close to double digit HRs and steals and provide somewhat solid counting stats.

Geovany Soto: Soto’s treacherous average makes betting on his power unreasonable in average leagues. However, his 11.8% walk rate and .348 OBP solidify his power. As a catcher capable of 17-20 HRs with a .340 OBP, he is a clear top 10 option.

Those that get hurt in OBP leagues

Adrian Beltre: Beltre has been a good hitter throughout his career, especially since his escape from Seattle (.309 average last two seasons). However, he averages just 41 walks a season and has only posted two OBPs above .331 since 2001. His 2011 OBP was lower than that of Edwin Encarnacion, Ryan Roberts, Evan Longoria, Aramis Ramirez, Kevin Youkilis and Michael Young, whereas he had the third highest average among qualifiers at the position last year. He simply doesn’t walk enough and projecting and OBP over .335 is silly. While he remains a top seven option or so, hot corner specialists like Ryan Zimmerman, Youkilis and others can have more of an impact in OBP leagues.

Starlin Castro: There are a ton of shortstops with small gulfs between their averages and OBPs. Castro, who hit .307, is one of those. His average last season was only behind Troy Tulowitzki, however his OBP trailed eight shortstops. Given his age, there is optimism for growth, however Castro loses some luster in OBP leagues.

Robinson Cano: Cano has been a batting average superstar for much of his career. However, aside from 2010, he’s never been an on base machine. Last season, his OBP was seventh at the position and over the last three seasons is fifth. Meanwhile, Dustin Pedroia is an OBP dynamo. Certainly swapping average for OBP closes the gap between Cano and Pedroia. In this format, I wouldn’t mind passing on Cano and securing Pedroia.

Ian Desmond: Desmond just isn’t very good, so we shouldn’t be surprised he gets dinged in OBP leagues. His career .304 OBP was actually better than his effort last season, even though he improved his walk rate. There’s some optimism that Desmond can get his OBP to the .310-.320 range as he did improve his walks and cut down on swinging strikes and swinging at balls, however, over the last three seasons, roughly 30 shortstops have averaged OBPs over .315.

Alcides Escobar: In OBP formats, Escobar becomes a true one-category producer. His career .294 OBP is putrid and he has shown no signs of improvement (his walk rate declined in 2011, he chased more balls out of the zone and swung and missed more). He might be good for 25 steals, but that’s all he’s good for in fantasy.

Jeff Francoeur: Over the last three seasons, Francoeur’s .314 OBP is 75^th among OFs, nestled between Aaron Rowand and Luke Scott. While his OBP improved last season, it was in large part thanks to a .323 BABIP and .285 AVG – he didn’t walk anymore and actually struck out more than normal. It is prudent to temper expectations for Francoeur in OBP leagues, especially because if that OBP suffers he’ll have no chance of reaching 20 steals again.

Ichiro: Just like Dunn has been the perennial gainer in OBP leagues, Ichiro has been the perennial loser. His .351 OBP over the last three seasons is 30^th among OFs, while his .312 average is third. While many expect a bounce back, Ichiro is unlikely to post an OBP above .345, which, last season, would have tied him for 28th at the position. OBP leagues take away one of Ichiro’s calling cards: his superior average and relegate him to #3/#4 OF status.

Adam Jones: Jones really likes to swing the bat; his swing percentages have gone up pretty much across the board every season. In fact, his O-Swing% (the percentage of pitches a batter swings at outside the strike zone) is at Vlad Guerrero levels. While he has been able to post solid averages, his swinging has translated to miniscule walk rates. He’s a fine option for average leagues, but his OBP over the last three seasons is 70th among OFs. In addition, his OBP has been trending downward: .335 in 2009, .325 in 2010 and .319 in 2011.