Already sporting 2 of the top 3 NL windmills in Krispie Young and Mark Reynolds, the D-Backs traded for #5 Adam Dunn.  Dunn will give you HR.  Dunn will give you OBP.  Everything else is ugly and it looks like the Reds just couldn’t take looking at it anymore. It’s as if he’s Moneyball on the rocks and everyone prefers to add some tonic or juice. This doesn’t do much for Dunn’s value.  He still has home games in a hitter’s park and it’s not like his HRs wouldn’t clear the walls in San Diego and SF. This move adds some offensive punch to the D-Backs lineup, but remember Dunn was never a huge RBI guy. Speaking of huge, there’s a hole in the Reds team now that Kamala, the Ugandan Giant, (or Jim Thome) could walk through. Hairston should benefit from the lineup spot vacancy and Patterson should get most starts in the outfield. But who will the Reds now judge burly against? Their lardstick has left the building. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Evan Longoria - Fractured wrist sends Longoria to the DL. Word around Wisteria Lane is the injury happened from bitch-slapping Nicolette Sheridan. It’s tough being the youngest and prettiest on the block… For the Rays, this is a tough 1-2 after losing Carl Crawford. It’s as if the world realizes something is amiss with the Rays winning and wants to put things back in order. Bad news for Longoria owners. There’s a chance the Rays rush him back for the pennant race, but there’s also a good chance he may not return this year in time to help anyone or he may return and not be the same hitter in the final month. Wrist injuries are often doom for hitters’ short-term production.

CJ Wilson - Done for the season. Guardado will remain the closer until he begins to look more like the real Guardado then Frank Francisco will take over. ETA for real Guardado? 3 days to one month.

Justin Verlander - 4.1 IP, 6 ER. Reports are saying he has a dead arm. That doesn’t mean he’s walking around like a zombie with his arm sticking out. It means Leyland had him throw 130 pitches last week then had him throw 4 days later. Luckily, a dead arm is not as bad as an injured arm. But it’s the first step.

Aaron Heilman - 3 ER, blowing the save. If Heilman’s got Jerry Manuel pulling out his hair, he might want to call Guiseppe Franco. When the best righty closer in your team’s 40+ year history is Armando Benitez, you’ve got to expect the worst. If you’re Double D’d with closers, you might want to punt this whole situation.

John Grabow - Save for Pittsburgh. Might be good for 5-7 more saves the rest of the way which will require 10-12 Tums.

Glen Perkins - Kudos to those of you who had the cajones to start the now 9-3 Perkins against the Yanks as he shut them out for 8 innings.  He’s not going to give you K’s or a great WHIP but he might be worth keeping an eye on for spot starts the rest of the way.

Carlos Lee - Had surgery on his pinkie. The operating doctor said, “It had been torn apart like a jigsaw puzzle that we put together.” Okay, but was it like a snow scene puzzle where there’s like 3000 white pieces or was it a dogs playing poker puzzle?

Shaun Marcum - 6 IP, 2 ER. He looks flat-out usable. (Which is, of course, below flat-out dominating and above flat-out awful.)

Nomar Garciaparra - Returns from the DL on Tuesday. Hopefully he doesn’t hurt anyone else reinjuring himself on Wednesday.

Hideki Matsui/Joba Chamberlain - Hideki’s running the bases and Joba’s set to throw on Friday. Everything’s all right in Yankee land, except for getting shutout by the aforementioned Glen Perkins. And batting Justin Christian lead off. And being 9 games behind the Rays. And being closer to the fourth place Jays than the second place Sox. And starting Sidney Ponson every fifth day. And starting Rasner. And relying on Xavier Nady. And still paying Carl Pavano. And thinking Ivan Rodriguez would really matter in the big picture. But other than those things, all is right in Yankee land.

Carlos Lee is hurt. Bad. He broke his left pinkie finger sending him to the DL. This also can’t be good for his Dr. Evil impersonation. Chances are he won’t be back this year. I’ve gone ahead and cut him in a 15-team league. Currently, my Carlos Lee replacement is Mike Cameron/Austin Kearns. Mike Cameron’s been hot and… I can’t even justify Austin Kearns, though he did hit a home run yesterday. This hurts everyone in the Astros lineup and their pitching staff, which will now receive even less run support. Too bad, because, with that Randy Wolf acquisition, they were really looking like legit contenders for fifth place in the Wild Card standings. Now the Braves might have their number. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carl Crawford - The other “Carl loss” is our good friend, Carl Crawford. Looks like it was a bad year to predict he would finally show some power. However, it was a good year for me to trade him for Ryan Braun about two months ago. Phew. The right hand injury that forced Carl Crawford to the DL could force him out of action for the rest of the season. I would not drop Crawford just yet, because he thinks he’ll be back in 15 days. We’ll see. This opens up a spot for Rocco Baldelli to get quickly injured, Cliff Floyd to throw a tantrum and Gabe Gross to pickup the pieces. Hopefully you have different options than the Rays.

Chris Carpenter - Right triceps strain. At the best, gone for a start. At the worst, gone ’til March. You shouldn’t have been counting on Carpenter for much anyway.

Brad Lidge - Complaining of a sluggish shoulder. Hopefully no one puts salt on it. (Get it? Cause if you put salt on a slug…Oh, forget it.) Ryan Madson got the save yesterday. Chad Durbin got the save on Saturday. Probably will be some combination of the two (or even JC Romero, if the matchup is right) that will fill-in for Lidge. If this doesn’t turn into a 15-day DL stint for Lidge, I’d be shocked. If the Phillies push him through, it could turn into a “Lidge hopes to be ready for spring training”-type deal.

Orlando Hudson - Will need season-ending surgery to fix a dislocated wrist. If you were counting on O-Dog for anything, you have bigger fish to fry. This boosts Conor Jackson’s value a bit because he’ll be inserted into the three hole on a regular basis. Looks like Upton will have to find someone else to carry him around.

Aaron Harang - 4 IP, 8 ER. Good to see him pickup right where he left off.

Scott Rolen - Placed on the DL with a sore shoulder that has caused him problems in the past. Unless you’re in a league that only used aging vets that are drafted on name recognition alone, you probably didn’t have Rolen anyway. And, if you’re in a league like that, grab Aurilla. He’ll suit you just fine.

Cliff Lee - 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 K. The C. Lee that didn’t break any hearts this weekend.

Mike Hampton - 4 IP, 6 ER. After the game, he didn’t say, but should have said, “I sucked, but that shouldn’t surprise you.”

Todd Helton - If you just read his name and said to yourself, “Oh, wow! I totally forgot Todd Helton existed.” You’re not alone. Helton had a minor setback and now might not return this season.

Carlos Quentin - HR yesterday. 10th since the All-Star Break. Making a strong case for AL MVP and being pretty overvalued next year.

Manny Parra - 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks vs. the Nats. Ah, to pitch against the Nats, if only you weren’t followed by Backne. Parra, “Hey, Billingsley, I saw Kuo blew your lead–” “Actually, Alyssa Milano is blowing my lead right now.”

Fernando Rodney - Got the save yesterday, but the Tigers made it a five run game in the bottom of the 8th so it wasn’t a traditional save. As to who would get the ball in a traditional save opportunity, whoever Leyland wants to point his yellow-stained finger towards. My guess is Rodney, Zumaya and Farnsworth, in that order.

Huston Street - Not sure how far down the depth chart Street’s fallen? He entered the 5th inning  yesterday and gave up 3 runs. Joey Devine might get a save before Street. (BTW, Street only had 18 saves in three quarters of the season. You gotta ask yourself how badly do you want those other five saves he might get.)

Lastings Milledge - Hit another HR yesterday. Has 5 HRs in the last ten games. Might give Mike Cameron a run for the least owned 20/20 man in the history of fantasy baseball.

Emilio Bonifacio - 0-for-6 and nary a hit all weekend. I’m giving him until the end of the week and then will reevaluate. To try and jumpstart Bonifacio, I’m wearing a rally merkin (Weird Thing of the Day) on my head.

In fantasy baseball, it’s imperative to trade away overrated players before they lose their luster and trade for underrated players. Then there’s simply the rated ones. If this reads vaguely familiar, it’s because I’m cribbing Chuck Klosterman, who I think is brilliant. Here’s the relevant quote to better understand what follows:

If you are the kind of person who talks about music too much, there are two words that undoubtedly play an integral role in your workaday lexicon: “overrated” and “underrated.” This is because those two sentiments pop up in 90 percent of all musical discussions.

He goes on to list bands that are overrated (Wilco, Sonic Youth) or underrated (Duran Duran, Tortoise), coming finally to bands that simply rated, which are no more or less than their reviews (The Beatles). Klosterman’s theory also applies for fantasy baseball. Let’s look at some overrated, underrated and rated players.

OVERRATED

Ryan Braun - As I said earlier today, “I had Braun 22 overall. It’s not like I had him between Hank Blalock and David Ross. I think his average is below .285 and he’s below 15 steals. He’s basically Carlos Lee with 3B eligibility and without the track record. Carlos Lee does Braun’s thing for 7 years and Braun does it for four months and Braun should go ten spots before him? I just don’t get it.” When you put a player twenty-two overall and people say you are unfairly down on him, that player is the definition of overrated. (BTW, I have a picture of Jesus in my office and it’s signed, “Grey, Thanks for steering me away from Ryan Braun. You are a Fantasy God. Love, Your Savior. P.S. What do you think about Lackey for Alex Gordon? I’m good on starters, but have Cust as my Utility.”)

Ryan Zimmerman - Before the Anti-Defamation League of Ryans contacts me, I swear I have no prejudice towards the name Ryan. I even just picked up Ryan Franklin in a league and I’ve eaten at Ryan Gosling’s Moroccan Restaurant — the couscous was overcooked, but the bastilla was good. Then again, who’s ever had a bad bastilla? Someone who puts catsup on egg noodles and calls it pasta, that’s who.

Dustin McGowan - He threw too many innings last year. If you like math — Pitcher who has a good season + overworked = overrated. (More math problems, MTV reality shows = mindless wonderfulness. Republicans = Democrats. Hispanics + peanut butter and jelly sandwiches = Unhappy Hispanics.)

Any AL Starter - Hater Bell covered this in this post. I don’t like trading apples for apples (starter for starter, third basemen for third basemen, etc.), but I can almost get behind a trade like Lackey and Cliff Lee for Wainwright and Maine. In fact, I likey. Hey, I just made a hypothetical trade with myself.

Any Closer - Think of them as a necessary evil and you’ll be better off. I love to do trades like Mariano Rivera for Josh Hamilton then turn around and trade Josh Hamilton for Trevor Hoffman and Matt Capps then turn around and trade Capps for Victorino. Closers are like girls. You will overvalue them at first, grow to despise them, wish you traded them for their sister, not understand how they can get over you so fast when you drunkenly call them at three in the morning. Finally, you find a replacement then get a sex tape in the mail of your ex with your best friend time dated to the afternoon of your one year anniversary. Or maybe that’s me. Anyway, don’t get too attached.

UNDERRATED

Any Setup Man - Rudy claims he taught me how to use middle men many years ago. I don’t remember it, but maybe. Or maybe that’s his consolation for losing to me last year. And three years ago. And four years ago.

Any Big-Bellied 1st Basemen that is Currently Struggling - These guys could go 100/40/100 in their sleep. Howard’s average might leave something to be desired, but he’s a .265 hitter. What, you wanted a fat Ichiro?

Any Padres Pitcher - I could have a 4.50 ERA in Petco and I throw like a girl.

Aaron Cook - He’s a ground ball pitcher. It’s hard to hit ground balls out of the yard.

Any NL Starter - See 5 3/4 inches above.

Me - I think I’m good for about seven to eight posts a week. Maybe 500 to 700 words per post. Everyone has off days, but I think at the end of the season, you’ll be better off with me than without. And I can beat you in checkers. (Union County Checker Champion grades 5 thru 7. That horn is twenty years old and I’m still tooting it.)

Shawn Hill - As someone who has tried to beat the drum about about this guy, I can tell his fan club is not well-attended. In one of my leagues, I tried to trade Hill for Stephen Drew when Tulo went down. That trade got shot down quicker than David Eckstein trying to get on a roller coaster.

Melky Cabrera - Considering the Yankees hype machine it’s weird to find any Yankee on this list, but somehow people ain’t feeling Melky. Even after being crowned the best name in baseball according to Larry King.

RATED

Eric Gagne - Backne isn’t on the juice anymore and it’s hurting him. Karma is your mother-in-law.

Nick Punto - Might even be unrated.

Carlos Lee - Everyone knows what you’re going to get.

Mike Cameron - 20/20/.250 for like forty years in a row. He was the only person who got caught sipping the cheating juice and no one lowered one single prediction.

Milton Bradley - Predictable, injury-prone loose cannon. I wonder if Cliff Floyd and him are buds. That’s one carpool I would not want to be party to. (”Milton, can you grab my Mary J. Blige CD from the backseat?” “Sure, Cliff, is it next to your diaphragm?” Car screeches to the side of the road, they jump out to fight only to simultaneously pull a hammy.)

Just drafted in my ‘pert 5×5 15 team league that was organized by RotoRob. I drafted 13th. Peavy was just taken and I took Pujols. I asked for comments. One comment was, “BALLSY,” another was, “I was gonna if you didn’t,” another was, “…A first rounder has to be no worries.” Pujols? Question marks? Well, I got him. Anyway, here’s the rest of my team:

1.      (13)      Albert Pujols
2.     (18)     Carlos Lee
3.     (43)     Troy Tulowitzki
4.     (48)     Nick Markakis
5.     (73)     Aaron Harang
6.     (78)     Jeff Francoeur
7.     (103)     Rich Hill
8.     (108)     Francisco Cordero
9.     (133)     Yunel Escobar
10.     (138)     Chad Cordero
11.     (163)     Corey Patterson
12.     (168)     Adam Wainwright
13.     (193)     Kerry Wood
14.     (198)     Kevin Kouzmanoff
15.     (223)     Carlos Ruiz
16.     (228)     Mike Jacobs
17.     (253)     Edison Vólquez
18.     (258)     Scot Shields
19.     (283)     Melky Cabrera
20.     (288)     Brian Fuentes
21.     (313)     Chuck James
22.     (318)     Jon Rauch
23.     (343)     Tom Gordon

These notes were jotted down during the draft. Cause that’s how I do:

1. I’m taking Pujols because I have balls. And I’m stupid.

4. Nick Markakis – The Greek God of Roto may just end up on every one of my teams and I’m not complaining. He’s going 30/20 and I’m going to douse myself in Ouza in October. Some schmohawks I didn’t want that went in this round: Mauer, Roberts, Byrnes, Kinsler (I like Kinsler but not this high) and Carlos Guillen.

5. I really need a pitcher. Please let Haren fall to me. Nope, just taken. Okay, come on Harang… Come to Papa. I don’t care if Dusty is gonna throw you out there for the twelth inning of a tie game…. Damn, it’s a pitching run and I don’t know if Harang’s falling to me…Got him. Now I don’t feel so good about it. Oh, well. Now I need another bat.

6. Just took Francouer and was seriously contemplating Josh Hamilton. Guess who got taken right after Francouer? Farkin’ hey. Oh, well. I think Hamilton is riskier than Franceour. Besides, he goes by Frenchy and he hit a crapload of doubles (40) last year.

7. I’m taking a 2nd basemen, unless Weeks, Kent and Johnson are still on the board. Then I’m taking a closer. BTW, there’s been very few closers taken. Guess everyone’s reading Matthew Berry. That’s sad. As I write that someone takes Lidge. I like Lidge. This is too high. Then Saito. Okay, here’s the closer run I heard about on ESPN messageboards. All the 2nd basemen are still on the board and I’m not folding to the closer run. Watch me zig while everyone else is zagging. Rich Hill!

8. Ok, I have to take a closer now. Otherwise, I’m punting.F-Cord. Eh. Nothing else to say. First pick of mine that I’m not crazy about, but I just couldn’t take Hoffman. He enters to Hell’s Bells, that was popular when Tim from RotoRob was young. Tim’s old. From what I hear. I don’t know.

9. Okay, really need a 2nd baseman now. Fo reals. Not to mention, my team is slow. I think I’m gonna reach for Yunel cause I don’t trust Matsui with his anus problems. Okay, that was a severe reach on my part, but I needed a 2nd baseman and Kent’s not doing it for this team I’m building.

10. And now I have both Cordero brothers and Hoffman’s still on the board. And as I type that, Hoffman’s gone.

12. I have a feeling I’m getting Wainwright on this team too. Hmmm… Maybe the Cards will be good this year. Yeah, I don’t believe that either. But got him.

13. In honor of IowaCubs, a frequent commenter, I took Kerry Wood. You’re welcome.

14. BTW, I really need a 3rd baseman. (BTW II, Everyone filled up on 3rd base so I was able to hold off for a long time.) It’s important to keep an eye on every other team’s needs. Okay, school’s out.

15. Guess who’s coming next? If Ruiz is there, he’s mine. Oddly enough, Varitek is still on the board again. And I’m not taking him again.

16. And I got Mike Jacobs again. Okay, I’m done with hitting for a little while. Unless someone really falls.

17. Just looked at who is left out of the starters. Well… They are saying good things about Volquez, right? Pickins’ are slim. It’s between Garza, Marcum and Volquez. Gonna have to take the upside this late. Wow, I’m going to be watching a lot of Reds games this year. Some picks I liked this round: Accardo, Matt Diaz, Franklin Gutierrez, JD Drew and my pick. Some picks I didn’t like: Colby Rasmus and Homer Bailey.

18. I was between Okajima, Fuentes and Shields and I went for the track record. Not sure I don’t want this pick back. But Zumaya and Arroyo went right before him and I like my pick better than those two. Now I’m praying Manny Parra gets back to me. Wow, that was quick. Two picks later he went.

19. I was between Marcum and Melky. I really needed a starter but Melky was falling too far. Wouldn’t you know it, Marcum gets taken right after Melky.

22. I was between Shawn Hill and Jon Rauch. Briefly considered how awful it must be to be a Nats fan then went with Rauch.

23. All done in 2 hours. Phew, this league went really fast. Actually, thank God it’s over because I had to take Tom Gordon with my last pick. Well, I didn’t have to, but he is closing in Lidge’s absence. So maybe I can vulture some saves in the beginning of the year. It was between him and… I’m not saying because I might want to grab him off of waivers.

Overall thoughts:

This team feels really solid if my projections come to fruition. Unfortunately, I have a lot riding on Pujols’s elbow. I need 100/30/100 from him otherwise I might be scrambling. So what do you think of my team?

Because things are always changing in fantasy baseball, it’s impossible to do a definitive list of the top hundred overall for 2008 or for any year for that matter. Tomorrow, Pujols could announce he’s having his surgery to repair his injured arm and be gone for the season or he could announce that he’s having his arm replaced with an aluminum bat and he moves to number one overall. Nevertheless, here’s my 2008 fantasy baseball top 100 as of right now. (BTW, download Rudy Gamble’s projections for 2008 here.)

1. Alex Rodriguez – Dur. Projections: 120/42/130/15/.305
2. Jose Reyes – Find thirty homers later in the draft. You ain’t finding 70 steals. Projections: 130/14/65/.295/70
3. Matt Holliday – Great hitter + Coors = Fantasy Stud. Projections: 110/40/125/.310/10
4. David Wright – The Mets have a penchant to run. Don’t see Wright slowing down just yet. Projections: 115/34/120/.310/20
5. Hanley Ramirez – I’ve already explained my hesitation for Hanley. Projections: 110/17/85/.295/45
6. Chase Utley – Could he give the Phillies the MVP trifecta this year? I give him 50/50 odds. Projections: 120/32/115/.325/12
7. Johan Santana – I’m not drafting him here, but that’s already been covered. Projections: 21-5/240/2.50/.95
8. Jake Peavy — Weak hitting division, extreme pitching park, ranked #1 as last year’s fantasy player. I’m not drafting him either. (BTW, why are people ranking Peavy so much lower than Santana on their draft cheatsheets? Does everyone really think Santana will win 25 games? He’ll be great, but c’mon. Don’t believe the hype.) Projections: 20-5/230/2.75/1.05
9. Miguel Cabrera – Everything but steals. Projections: 110/37/125/.325/4
10. Prince Fielder – Him and Howard are the only ones with good odds to hit 50. Projections: 115/50/125/.285
11. Ryan Howard – See Fielder, Prince. Projections: 100/50/140/.275
12. Carl Crawford – He’s still young and he can still hit 30 home runs. Projections: 105/25/85/.305/50
13. Grady Sizemore – This is probably my preseason AL MVP. But we’ll get to that. Projections: 120/35/85/.290/30
14. Alfonso Soriano – He’s a Latin 32, but doesn’t seem to be slowing down or losing power. He might have the best preseason shot at 40/40. Projections: 115/35/75/.280/20
15. Jimmy Rollins – He’s not hitting 30 homers again. Projections: 130/22/70/.290/35
16. David Ortiz – Eligibility concerns have me passing on him, but I could understand this pick. Projections: 115/40/120/.310
17. Alexis Rios – This is who I want in every league. I have his projections at 120/32/110/.300/25. Next year he’s a first rounder. Chew on that.
18. Carlos Lee – He’s good every year and he plays. That’s reliability. Projections: 90/35/120/.295/7
19. Vladimir Guerrero – Maybe he can get an aluminum leg from Pujols’s doctor. Projections: 105/32/125/.315/3
20. Mark Teixiera – You can count on certain stats, but that includes sub-par first halfs. Projections: 105/35/115/.300
21. Nick Markakis – I will have him on every team I can. Projections: 100/27/115/.300/20 with the skill set to go way above and beyond these numbers.
22. Ryan Braun – I already told you why not to buy into the hype. Projections: 100/27/105/.280/12
23. B.J. Upton – I don’t see a huge step forward from last year. But 30/30 would still be sweet. Could easily be a 1st round guy next year. Projections: 100/30/85/.280/27
24. Albert Pujols – A high-grade tear in his elbow? A team with nothing to play for. He might not see July. Projections: 55/22/70/.330/2 and he hangs them up by July 4th.
25. Ichiro Suzuki – He’ll be batting .330 in September and I’ll still be glad I didn’t draft him. You don’t have to turn your average to eleven. Projections: 110/10/65/.330/45
26. Carlos Beltran – Is it me or is this round filled with landmines? Projections: 100/27/110/.270/18
27. Lance Berkman – A lock for 90/35/110/.280.
28. C.C. Sabathia – It’s let’s start a pitching run. Projections: 20-9/210/3.40/1.15
29. Brandon Webb – Easily could be in the top ten at the end of the year. Projections: 19-7/190/3.10/1.20
30. Erik Bedard – I give you permission to now draft a starter, if you really must. Projections: 16-9/230/3.30/1.10
31. Aramis Ramirez – Last year’s numbers aren’t indicative of ’08. Projections: 95/37/120/.305
32. Troy Tulowitzki – The Polish are hard workers. I expect Tulo to make his people proud. Projections: 115/25/80/.280/10
33. Adam Dunn – I love guys that are guaranteed 40 homers. They give you runs, RBIs and home runs. BTW, Dunn’s only 28. Projections: 100/45/110/.265/7
34. Travis Hafner – I’m probably the only ‘pert ranking Pronk this high, but I think this is the year he puts everything together. He’d be higher if he had some eligibility somewhere. Projections: 100/40/110/.300
35. Jonathan Papelbon – This is where you should draft him if you want him. I don’t. But I do think he’ll be spectacular. Projections: 5-0/90/1.10/.75/45 saves
36. Robinson Cano – My third 2nd basemen off the board. Fark you, Phillips. Projections: 100/25/100/.295/3
37. Derrek Lee – As Rudy Gamble is prone to say, fifteen steals easily turns into five when your game isn’t stealing bases. Projections: 110/30/115/.290/5
38. Garrett Atkins – Third base sure be deep. Projections: 85/34/115/.300
39. Curtis Granderson – Too rich for my blood. I’m out of the Granderson pot. Projections: 115/27/85/.280/25
40. Victor Martinez – I’m taking Cralos Ruiz in the 18th round, not V-Mart in the third or fourth. Projections: 75/25/115/.300
41. Derek Jeter – Girls draft Jeter. Don’t be a girl. Projections: 110/15/70/.315/15
42. Miguel Tejada – He tore up the winter leagues and he’s pissed off because he’s pissing clean. Projections: 90/25/100/.290/3
43. Cole Hamels – The first pitcher I could conceivably draft. Here’s what I said in January, “The future has arrived for the Phillies ace. If he stays away from injury, he battles Peavy for the Cy Young. Not sure how early I’m going to draft him, but he’ll be on one of my ’08 teams.” You see that wisdom there. But then Santana came to the NL. So, sue me, Hamels now comes in third in the Cy Young voting. Projections: 20-7/210/3.20/1.10
44. Aaron Harang – The second pitcher I could conceivably draft. Projections: 17-10/220/3.75/1.15
45. Joe Nathan – If Papelbon’s selection didn’t start a closer run, I suppose here’s a good place to look. I won’t be picking a closer until the second tier. Projections: 6-1/80/1.90/1.00/40 saves
46. J.J. Putz – Very solid number one closer for any team, except for one of mine. Projections: 4-2/80/2.00/.90/40 saves
47. Brandon Phillips – I thought about dropping him into the fifties to prove how much I want you to avoid him. Projections: 80/19/75/.240/25 and is benched in July because his slump is “all in his head.”
48. Brian Roberts – Okay, here’s the problem. One year twenty homers, one year 4. Career average of 29 steals, last year 50. In fantasy baseball, inconsistency breeds contempt. Projections: 105/10/55/.290/30
49. Alex Gordon – I love Gordon this year. Projections: 80/25/90/.280/20
50. Bobby Abreu – Everyone loves Granderson. How about you draft someone that is guaranteeing you good numbers? Projections: 120/15/110/.310/20
51. Torii Hunter – Double I is about as consistent as a 25/20 man can get. Projections: 85/25/100/.275/20
52. Corey Hart – Here’s what I said in January, “He ran like a demonfish in the first half (mostly against righties) and kept consistent power and average throughout. As much as I feel weird saying it, I think Mr. Hart is here to stay. His OBP against righties is kinda icky, but you know who else is like that, Double I. That’s right, Corey Hart is the white man Torii Hunter.” So it’s only fitting they’re next to each other in the rankings. Projections: 95/22/75/.280/25
53. Justin Morneau – Don’t think he walks enough to ever come close to another MVP. Projections: 90/32/105/.275
54. Dan Haren – He’s a bit prone to the home run ball and the move to a more hitter’s friendly park doesn’t help, but all this is negated by weaker offenses in the NL. Draft with confidence. Projections: 17-9/210/3.60/1.20
55. Manny Ramirez – I’m not high on Manny, but come on, he’s still kind of a hitting savant. Projections: 85/32/105/.315
56. Ian Kinsler – I kinda wanna have Kinsler’s babies. Projections: 110/25/70/.270/25
57. Eric Byrnes – Take Shane Victorino thirty spots later. You’re welcome. Projections: 90/20/75/.270/20
58. Chone Figgins – I already explained I don’t draft steals after Reyes. Projections: 105/5/60/.290/45
59. Magglio Ordonez – Here’s what I wrote in January, “Saw something the other day about Mags. It said he won his 1st batting title in ’07. Thought it was weird it said “1st” as if he’s going to win a second.” Projections: 100/30/110/.300
60. Russell Martin – I had to list another catcher eventually, though you should be warned. He’s not going to steal 20 bases this year. Can’t you just draft Carlos Ruiz fifteen rounds later and grab Michael Bourn to get you some steals? Geez, and I thought I was difficult. Projections: 85/20/90/.290/15
61. Francisco Rodriguez – I won’t draft a closer this high, but I will say if I were, I would not be drafting K-Rod. He’s the only top tier closer that worries me. Projections: 6-2/90/3.00/1.25/45 saves
62. Mariano Rivera – I’d rather you started a website razzballsucks.com then draft Rivera, but you do what you do. Projections: 5-2/70/2.75/1.10/40 saves
63. Adrian Gonzalez – I can’t fathom anyone hitting 40 homers in Petco, but he might get to 35. Projections: 90/33/105/.280
64. Paul Konerko – My man Paulie is dropping off draftsheets. Did he screw someone’s Moms and I didn’t hear about it? Projections: 90/35/110/.275
65. Hunter Pence – You’re drunk if you think I’m drafting him, but, ya know, he’s gotta fit in somewhere. Projections: 95/22/75/.290/17
66. Chipper Jones – Yes, he’ll only play in 120 games, but you can make moves in your league to fill in people, right? Projections: 85/25/85/.315/5
67. John Lackey – It’s not that I don’t like him because I think he’s probably going to be my preseason AL Cy Young pick, but I just don’t like AL starters. Projections: 20-5/180/3.00/1.20
68. Justin Verlander – Might be the only American League starter I’ll consider drafting. Projections: 19-7/200/3.75/1.20
69. Rafael Furcal – I would actually consider taking Raffy because his last year made him a bit of a bargain this year. Projections: 110/15/65/.285/35
70. Gary Sheffield – You need some ‘tude on your team. Projections: 90/25/80/15/.285
71. Carlos Pena – I’m predicting he’ll make fantasy owners miserable this year. Projections: 85/22/80/.260 and he falls into a platoon.
72. Josh Beckett – I was down on this schmohawk before the tender back. Now? Not with a ten foot pole. Projections: 18-9/190/3.90/1.20
73. Edwin Encarncion – I’m wild about Edwin even if he’s a total jerkoff. Projections: 75/25/85/.275/15
74. Delmon Young – I stay away from 2nd year players when possible. Delmon’s one guy I’m considering. Projections: 70/20/100/.285/15
75. John Smoltz – He seems like he’s almost as nice a guy as Vernon Wells, right? (BTW, if you need me to tell you about Smoltz, you’ve been in an Afghani cave for too long.) Projections: 16-7/160/3.75/1.22
76. Carlos Guillen – I think he might be the biggest overpriced piece of garbage since Morneau last year. Projections: 95/15/75/.300/8
77. Ryan Zimmerman – And here’s where I pass. Wrist surgery and people are drafting him like it means nothing. Projections: 90/18/90/.275/5
78. Hideki Matsui – Godzilla loves porn and I don’t mind him. So there’s that. Projections: 105/25/100/.295
79. Roy Oswalt – Ks are trending the wrong way, but he’s still very reliable. Take a middle reliever to offset the Ks. Projections: 15-7/150/3.60/1.22
80. Todd Helton – He’s getting to the point where he’s undervalued. Let’s be realistic for a second. He’s not getting you 40 homers anymore, but what he does give you is not dreadful. Projections: 90/15/90/.315
81. Chris “No B” Young – A tall pitcher with back issues concerns me, but I’d take his 22 starts over some guys 32. Projections: 15-5/160/3.00/1.10 and he only pitches in a 150 innings.
82. Carlos Zambrano – In my opinion, any guy that does what he did to Barrett you have to like. Projections: 18-7/210/3.60/1.30
83. John Maine – I love Maine this year. And not just for their lobster – oofa! I will have Maine on at least one team. You should too. Projections: 18-9/210/3.60/1.20
84. Rickie Weeks – This question still lingers, if Clint Barmes, Rocco Baldelli and Rickie Weeks board your cross-country flight, do you get off? Projections: 85/15/50/.260/22
85. Jeff Kent – At some point he’s going to get old, I think it’s coming soon. Act accordingly. Projections: 80/22/90/.300
86. Mike Lowell – His luck with runners on last year was a collision of good fortune and stoopid good fortune. Projections: 75/20/105/.280/3
87. Shane Victorino – I love Victorino. If I were a 300 lb. Hawaiian woman, Victorino and I would be living off the coast of Oahu. Projections: 115/15/60/.280/40
88. Vernon Wells – O, Vernon. Don’t suck this year. Projections: 90/30/90/.280/7
89. Jeff Francoeur – Do you think if Frenchy were popular in 2001 he would have went by Freedom? Projections: 85/25/110/.280/5
90. Chris B. Young – Krispie will frustrate for extended periods of time with swings and misses. Projections: 90/25/70/.245/32
91. Jhonny Peralta – The only thing I don’t like about Peralta this year is the spelling of his first name. He’s a big buh-Buy. Projections: 85/32/105/.270/3
92. Brian McCann – He’s the last catcher of the top one hundred (eff Mauer) so this will be the last time I tell you to draft Carlos Ruiz in the 18th round. Projections: 75/25/105/.285
93. Andruw Jones – Ok, I’m aware he reported to camp looking like Umaga. But he can’t be over the hill yet, can he? Projections: 85/32/110/.250
94. Mike Jacobs – The Marlins will give the Nats a run for most unwatchable team, though I do like Jacobs’s upside. Projections: 70/30/95/.285
95. Jim Thome – You can set your watch to his stats. Projections: 70/30/90/.265
96. Ryan Garko – Garko’s getting overlooked in the drafts I’ve seen. Watch him jump up to the fourth round next year. Projections: 75/27/90/.285
97. Josh Hamilton – Hamilton gets high on life! Projections: 70/27/80/.300/5
98. Brad Hawpe – Here’s what I said in January, “Hawpe will be sensational this year and not hit lefties. He sported a .418 OBP last year against righties. Grab Spilborghs for next to nothing and platoon them yourself, cause Spilborghs had a .426 OBP against lefties. Hawpe/Spilborghs combo projections: 105/35/110/.300/5.” I stand by that.
99. Nick Swisher – He’s pretty. Projections: 95/30/100/.275
100. James Shields – His year end numbers will blow away Kazmir’s. Projections: 14-6/185/3.75/1.10
101. Rich Hill – No top hundred list is complete without a 101st pick. Projections: 18-7/200/3.60/1.15
102. Kelly Johnson – Ok, last one, but only because I hate the way people are passing by Kelly Johnson. Look at these projections: 85/17/65/.275/12, there’s a fifty percent chance those will be better than Rickie Weeks. (BTW, as for the Weeks question above, I get off the plane. You?)