Most of the league’s top aces took the hill last night, but none were more impressive than the Padres’ Andrew Cashner, who threw a one-hit shutout, tossing 108 pitches against the ferocious Tigers, walking just two and striking out 11. That’s straight Cashner, homey! Randy Moss would be proud. Cashner’s shutout was the first of the season in all of baseball, and just the second of his career. He now holds a 1.29 ERA and 0.81 WHIP with 22 Ks through three starts. It’s gotta be that beard, right? You don’t have to tell Razzball nation about the magic of facial hair, see: Albright, Grey. Mystic whiskers aside, Cashner was money Friday night, surrendering just the one hit to Rajai Davis (breaking up his perfect game in the 6th), and striking out Miguel Cabrera to end the game. Yes, that Miguel Cabrera! I’ve always been high on Cashner, and I owned him everywhere last year, so naturally, I own him no where this year. After last night, I might have to hit the trade market, because if I can’t own him, no one should! “I want a Golden Andrew Cashner Goose now, daddy!” Andrew has had injury issues in the past, but he has always been solid when healthy, and with high a 90′s fastball that can hit the triple digits, doode throws some serious cheese. The key with Cashner remains his aforementioned health; if he stays healthy, I could see 12-14 wins, 160 Ks and some solid ratios. That kind of Cashner can pay off big for your fantasy team.

Here’s what else happened Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

[Sky's Note: I'm not wearing any pants. Wait, that's not the note I came to give you. And how could I carry said note without pockets anyways? Whatevs, our friends over at DraftKings wanted you to know about this little thing called the Sweet Spot. The prize pool is $400,000. That's the kind of pool Scrooge McDuck would swim in and who wouldn't want to swim like Unca Scooge? The coolest part about that link? First time depositors get a free $2 ticket. Wanna know what you can spend that $2 ticket on? A Satellite ticket to get in on this thang. So if you've been sitting on the sidelines while we at the Razz were having fun, now would be a good time to get in the game. We now give you back your regularly scheduled bloggy-type thing.]

Cheers, my Razzballin’ droogs. Why am I sipping a fine Islay at this time of day you may be asking? Firstly, it’s the only scotch I buy (I didn’t say drink) and secondly I can afford it after doubling my bankroll in just one week of play on DraftKings. If you’re not playing, you’re letting cash get scooped up by the likes of me. Thanks, today I’ll buy a genuine alligator skin turban with my winnings. Now if you are a regular DFS player feel free to skip ahead to your humble-but-nontheless-handsome Guru’s picks of the day – they are money. If you have never played daily fantasy sports please allow me to pull on your coat about something here: Get your fanny perpendicular in the game now! I know the fantasy season can be a long haul in the RCLs. It’s a marathon not a sprint blah blah blah. However, with DraftKings every day is a new season, every game, every pitch, every at-bat is of upmost importance and there’s cold hard cash to be won. Quite simply it’s a lot of fun, damn addictive and I got a monkey that likes to party on my back – hi Tehol. And whether you know it or not, sweet innocent Razzballers, you have a distinct advantage on the competition – us. The best way to get in the money quickly is to have the best info available. If you wander into the shark infested waters of DFS without relevant data, predictive stats or a clue you will be chum. Using the Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-tron and our info on Vegas odds and weather forecasts (especially this time of year) gives you a leg up on the competition. Let the Thomas Magnum lookalike drop too much on Miguel Cabrera because he loves the Tigers. We’re going to jam Jose Abreu because we like money and Cuban sandwiches. So, give DraftKings a shot today, join a 50/50 league for a buck and watch your bankroll grow. Just remember us and send a drink our way when we get thirsty. We’re always thirsty. Cheers.

With all that out of the way (I kinda felt like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society there – Carpe Diem!) let me step down from my atop my desk and get down to business. Here’s our picks for Wednesday’s 4/09 contests on DraftKings for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings: Week One is in the books. The MLB 2014 season is now only a wee one week old and aww look it’s drooling. Or is that you? No it was me; I couldn’t stand that long awful thingy called winter in which there was no baseball. Now that it is back, we have enjoyed every second whether it is Puig’s blunders or some Trumbo-bombs. So hey, while you’re enjoying all this warm gooey baseball-ness why not make a lil money doing it? Everybody is doing it. Ok maybe not everybody but they should be. I started playing DFS myself this baseball season and I am hooked. On with the show …

This being my first run on Razzball lets go over the basics. First, while you’re here on the Razz check out the Stream-O-Nator and see who it likes for today’s pitchers. Secondly, click on the tab that says Hitter-Tron. Its going to give you some guys who can handle the wood. Wait, ew, nevermind they can do the batting thing more preferably than other guys. Man, this is just going downhill fast isn’t it? Click here on our sponsored DraftKings link to get to safety and I’ll get it back together. The Stream-o-nator seems to like Michael Wacha the most and at a $8,400 price tag he’s not a bad value. Not my cup o tea, though, and I’ll tell you why below as we discuss Draftkings picks for 4/7/2014 for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There really is no place like home if you play for the Rockies. Charlie Blackmon aka Chuck Nazty knows this better than anyone, and helped Colorado drop 12 runs on Arizona last night at Coors. Now slashing .563/.588/.938 on the early season, Blackmon admits his nickname hasn’t caught on quite like he hoped yet, but that’s because it’s a terrible nickname. I ain’t mad at cha, and if you keep having games this this we’ll call you whatever you want! Chuck Nazty was perfect yesterday, going 6-for-6, with 3 doubles, a 2-run home run, 4 runs and 5 RBI as the Rox managed 13 hits in their home opener. Now you know Carlos Gonzalez wasn’t about to get overshadowed on opening day, he’s the real Chuck Nazty, if anyone is. CarGo added 4 RBI and 2 hits, including a 2-run jack and free tacos for the entire state of Colorado! Every-body-gets-a-taco! Something tells me after Colorado’s new legislation, they’re going to be needing all the tacos they can get. Chuck Nazty, legalization, and free tacos? Get in the car, honey, we’re moving! By the way, I call my laptop “Honey.” Anyway, it’s probably not a stretch to say that Rockies fans are pretty high on Blackmon after today. Ha, that’s the title! Well, don’t light up your celebratory doobies just yet, Centennial Staters. Despite the huge day, Blackmon remains in a platoon in a crowded outfield featuring Corey Dickerson, who is a also a fairly exciting prospect, but perhaps Blackmon’s stellar play will force Walt Weiss to play him consistently. For now, C. Nazty could provide decent streaming value, especially when he’s a mile high. He managed a .309 average in 82 games in 2013 and after a strong spring he is a hot little potato right now and could be worth the speculative add while he’s hitting.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Seriously, I’m drooling over here. Maybe it’s the medication. Nurse Ratched, bring me my drooling bib! Sorry, got locked up in the looney bin after how this week has started for me both in Draftkings and in my regular leagues. How does a team have .252 OBP and .272 SLG% over four days when it has over 10 guys who hit 20 or more HRs apiece just a season ago? I’d say bygones but I’ve been scrawling this on the walls here in the institution for the last few days in my own excrement cuz I just can’t figure it out. Nurse Ratched, please don’t forget to set my lineups for today! You know I can’t do it with this weird backwards jacket you have on me! I’m not Kris Kross! Though it is quite stylish…yes, where was I? Ok, today’s slate. We have the Minnesota Twins playing somebody, who is it? Ah yes, the Twinkies are in Cleveland and Danny Salazar gets to make his season debut. DK loves Ks and Twins look to be a good punching bag for both regular fantasy streams and Daily Fantasy ones so today’s matchup looks downright gorgeous. What say you Stream-O-Nator? Well, you didn’t have to shout it…and there’s no need for calling names, especially those ones. Given that he’s at the low price of $8,800, you’ll have plenty of room for another arm and can comb over what the Hitter-Tron has to say on some top bats and not worry about not having enough bank to do it. Oh and are you looking for some kind of tourney to play Salivate Salazar in today? Well why not the big Razzball Draftkings Contest the guys over at DK put together for us. Yes us! Don’t you feel special being recognized like that? I’m sure they would’ve named it after just you if they knew your name. They’re cool like that. But nevertheless, less chat and more choices. Here’s some Razzball picks for Draftkings lineups on 4/4/2014 for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Reds manager Bryan Price, who I thought was their catcher, has a long way to go to catch up to ex-manager, Dusty Baker, on the Crazy-Meter, but naming Jonathan Broxton the closer a week before he’s even healthy, is a great start. Now Price needs to throw Latos 147 pitches in his first game back and he’ll be running a dead heat. Apparently, Broxton can’t only fill pants, he can fill shoes too. Dumpster Pants isn’t safe by any means, but when a crazy-as-a-fox manager names someone the closer, and he could be the closer for the next two months, I’d pick him up. Not literally, no one can pick up Broxton literally. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

There’s SAGNOF – now there’s BGLIF or BABIPGLIF.

B(ABIP)GLIF = BABIP’s Got Little Face. As you delve into players for your drafts and you see a surprising glorious batting average from last year, ensure you validate it. Use Razzball Fantasy Baseball BABIP vs. Average Comparison. I’ll point out some sleepers below using this method.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The_Good_The_Bad_and_The_Ugly

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly. AKA, yo momma. ICE BURN.

Hey, really quick, did you hear the news? Or, I guess in this case, read the news? Razzball has a radio now! AND we’re going on tour this August. That’s right, Nick the Podcast Host and I will be traveling to every NFL city to have a beer with you! Click here for the details.

So here we are, another week gone by, another wave of drafts. And for this set, we’ll be playing a game. And that game is taking a look at your leagues and deciding which picks were good, which were bad, and which were ugly. Don’t take it personally though, as I’m sure you could find my team’s and pick apart my decision making process. Really, there is no perfect draft. ONLY PERFECT BOOBS. Just kidding. They’re all perfect. Honestly, this post is really just a vehicle to mention Clint Eastwood. The spaghetti western version. Not that having a stroke at the Republican convention version. So let’s take a look at some leagues that drafted this past week, in no particular order, and pick them apart. And don’t worry, I’m plenty hard on myself. That’s what she said. Wait, what?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2014 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2014 Rockies Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Bryan Kilpatrick from Purple Row.

Please, blog, may I have some more?