Carlos Gomez

Dan Pants

Pauly G. is a Jersey Sure Thing

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 74 Comments

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Paul Goldschmidt went off again last night, collecting four hits with two 2-run home runs and scored four times. Awww Schmiiiidt! Goldy has been locked in at the plate lately. Over the past two weeks, he’s batting .400 with 5 home runs, 12 RBI and 2 stolen bases. As a result the D-Backs sit at the top of their division, winning three straight games and seven of their last 10. Paul is currently on pace for over 40 home runs, 15 steals and 120+ RBI. Although he will likely come back down to earth some, he remains the number one first baseman on the player rater and is looking like a lock to finish in the top three. He also is the number two player overall behind only mean Jean Segura. To quote Mike Myers second worst film, “I love…Goooold.” We all do, Johan van der Smut, you horribly offensive Dutch stereotype. We all do. If you read Razzball faithfully, there’s a good chance you own Pauly G. on a team or two. If so, you are lovin’ life right now, so enjoy this. Bask in it. Take. It. In. You earned it. I had a goldfish named Goldy but I never loved that dumb fish as much I love owning Paul Goldschmidt. So thanks Grey. Thanks Rudy. If you ever need a kidney, I’m your guy.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
jaywrong

Bear or Bull: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go!

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 98 Comments

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Admit it, you sang the title when you read it. There is no denying this. While I’m not sure that qualifies as a good thing, I don’t necessarily consider it a bad thing. As a child of the 80′s, I am neutral in this regard. You might not be, however. You might think Admiral Ackbar should have been there to warn you of an impending trap. Or you might think that I’m a kindhearted person that would never launch a guerrilla campaign of thought-wars with old 80′s songs. Or even that I might secretly be seeking affection and approval from the Guru. You would be wrong on all three counts, because, you know, ef his turban thingamajig. Amiright? Or excuse me, jam or cram his very big head accessory. Anyhow, like five sentences later, you still have that song stuck in your head, don’t you? Hey buddy, don’t hate the player, hate the game. You think I’m going to talk about Carlos Gomez, who’s nicknamed Go-Go, and not go with a Wham title tie-in? You not knowin’ son. You not knowin’.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Elbow Does In A Putz Once Again

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 1,067 Comments

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Diamondbacks said J.J. Putz needs elbow surgery. Imagine the doctor misreads Putz’s chart and J.J. walks out with a new putz that is an arm, elbow to hand. Would that have him get to third base and home all with one swing of the bat? It would help him avoid that awkwardness when you try to hug and undo a girl’s pants. He could also towel himself down while opening a door. Actually, this sounds like a plus-plus, or rather, a putz-putz! I’m reinventing the knuckle shuffle! The Diamondbacks also officially announced yesterday what I announced the day before, Heath Bell would be the closer. Ya know this means he’s going to crap your face and call it Google Glass, right? You know this, right? I do, and I still grabbed him. I’d also grab David Hernandez in case the only thing Bell rings in are blown saves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tom Jacks

McCanned If I Do, McCanned If I Don’t

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, OPS Leagues | 105 Comments

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Why hello there. It seems like only yesterday when we were drafting our fantasy baseball teams and were guaranteed to breeze to first place. But then baseball happened. An injury (or two or three…) here and an underperforming guy there can really dampen your early season enthusiasm. Fortunately, there are always opportunities to grab guys off waivers or to buy low. Enter Brian McCann. A few months ago, I said, “I strongly dislike recommending people draft an injured player, but I’m going to do it this time. The last I saw, he’s expected to miss the first couple weeks of the season. Even if the injury reduces his production, I could still see him producing a high .700s OPS, with solid counting stats. Considering that you would only have to use a late round pick, it may be worth the gamble.” Well, considering that he’s still largely available, I suggest you close your eyes and fall back into McCann’s arms (gently, of course). Like Scott Weiland, he’s half the man he used to be, but there’s no reason why he can’t be a top 10 catcher for the rest of 2013. Anyway, here are some other players that have me crossing my fingers in OPS leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rudy Gamble

What the Hechavarria Just Happened?

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 622 Comments

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Adeiny Hechavarria had a heckavagamia against the Phillies on Sunday with a 3-run triple and a grand slam – both against Halladay. These types of games will be few and far between with this guy’s bat – he’s a glove first SS (though that’s what they said about Brandon Crawford and he’s flashing early power) – but tell that to the old Jews in Miami that think of God when they hear his name. I just wish Adeiny didn’t take off for the Sabbath as I had him Friday night in the DraftKings “Can you take down Rudy Gamble?” challenge. I had my worst finish – 15th out of 23 – so I guess the answer to the challenge was “Yes.” We are doing it every Friday so pay attention to Twitter and the comment boards on Friday for the contest link. Anyway, here are some other observations from this weekend’s games:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tehol Beddict

Fantasy Baseball Points Leagues: Josh Hamilton Coming Up Shorter Than a Midget on its Knees

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, Points Leagues | 23 Comments

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Greeting all! Tis I again, Tehol Beddict, your loyal and humble servant, here to help you out with all of life’s problems, and big problem many of you have right now is owning my boy Ham-bone AKA Josh Hamilton. The travesty that is the Angels 2013 season continues to baffle even baseball’s greatest minds. “Did it baffle Tehol Beddict the Great?” you might ask your friends and family, and the answer would be no. It’s well know that I hold the powers of Extrasensory perception (ESP to the laypersons), and one night while smoking mass quantities of peyote laced with the purest Colombian powders on God’s beautiful earth, I had a vision. A vision of the Angels having an impotently insignificant season a la Jonathan Taylor Thomas post Home Improvement. My visions have become a reality and am I the only one with a wood from that J.T.T. vid? It’s hard to envision the continuation of this disgraceful ball playing from Hamilton for much longer, as he should eventually turn it around. Or he could get hurt and along with Pujols, become shells of their former selves. Personally, I would never give up on Hamilton as he is one of my favorite players of all time, but I’ll let you make that decision for yourselves (or ask me in the comment section). Others are probably trying to low ball you for “Ham-borgini” as we speak. Don’t bite just quite yet, or you could end up coming up shorter than a midget on his or her knees. Here’s what else I saw this week thus far.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Baseball Tonight Worries About A Lack Of Highlights

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 841 Comments

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First off, Rudy is safe. We have him in a padded room with only marshmallows to eat. He’s a bit overcome by the absence of color, but it will be a good distraction while Bryce Harper is touch and go. Before we put Rudy where he wouldn’t hurt himself, Rudy said to me, “If Bryce Harper is hurt, will they cancel the rest of the season?” That’s a frown question, bro. Lie down, Rudy. It’ll be okay. Actually, could you lie down with your head hanging off the couch? You’re gonna leave a Soul Glo stain. I’m sure Rudy isn’t the only one feeling a bit woozy hearing Harper hurt himself last night. The entire eye black industry hangs in the balance. He left yesterday’s game with an apparent injury and that turned into an apparent diagnosis of an apparent bad bruise in his apparent side. Thanks for the apparency. This sounds like a day-to-day thing rather than a 15-day DL thing. So the worst thing that may come of this is for the next few days you won’t get as drunk if you take a tequila shot every time someone on Baseball Tonight mentions Harper. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace, Love And Giancarlo Not Standing?

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 401 Comments

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Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
VinWins

RCL Update: April 23

| Our Leagues | 23 Comments

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Three weeks are complete, and Men-In-Cleats (Bosch Brothers – in Trout We Trust) is still number 1. We’ll have the complete Master Standings up next week, and they’re all new and exciting! Rudy has added another element to the formula that takes into account where each team ranks in each of the 10 statistical categories.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

Harvey Betters One of League’s Best

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 65 Comments

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Matt Harvey was better last night. Better than Stephen Strasburg. In a battle of two of the NL’s most exciting young pitchers, Matt Harvey dominated again, pitching 7.0 innings, giving up just 4 hits, 1 ER and striking out seven. Harvey currently leads fantasy leagues in “Players You Wish You Drafted.” Stephen Strasburg countered pitching 6.0 innings, 2 ER (4 R) and struck out six. St. Rasburg battled chants from the NY crowd “Har-vey’s better! Har-vey’s better!” Ouch. How could they turn on you so quickly, Stephen? And for a younger, sexier fantasy ace. Well, if there was ever a time to sell off your Matt Harveys for gold and fame, now is good. Harvey was filthy again, touching 99 mph several times last night, he was throwing some serious cheese (his fastball has averaged 96.1 mph this season) and the mighty Nationals couldn’t touch him. The guy’s got gas. Flatulence jokes aside, Harvey moves to 4-0 (the first Met to win his first four starts of the season since David Cone) with a 0.93 ERA and has given up just 10 hits all season. Harvey’s K-upside makes me love him more than I care to share in print, but if I can get a top 20 player for him I’m making a deal. Curt Schilling said if he’s starting a franchise, he’s going with Harvey over Strasburg. Well, that’s just your opinion, man. We know what happened to 38 studios so maybe Big Schill isn’t the guy to ask if you’re trying to run a successful business. Strasburg, who has a 3 losses despite a 2.96 ERA, was upset about the crowds chant, responding with his own chant, “Must pitch better. Better than Matt Harvey. I will be better, faster, stronger than Matt Harvey.” Chill Stras, obsessmuch? Matt Harvey did get the better of the Nats last night but either way going forward, clearly, these two will be among fantasy’s best.

Here’s what else happened last night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?