Fantasy Baseball Advice

Josh Johnson injured? That would be precedented.  He came out of the game with a weak right shoulder.  Yeah, and I have a weak pitching staff without you.  Afterwards, Johnson said, “I just don’t feel great.”  That makes two of us.  Pitchers are always more prone to injuries than hitters and Johnson embodies that.  Or maybe he disembodies it.  Either way, this is bad news.  Hopefully, he caught the problem soon enough and won’t miss too much time.  I have a sinking feeling he’s headed for further bad news.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Davis – Hit the game winning homer.  After the game, here’s what CJ Wilson said on Twitter, “Rangers are crazy powerful in the late innings. chip davis looked like he was channeling MJ23 with his hop into the scrum.”  There’s so many things to take away from that, it’s hard to know where to start.  In other Twitter news, the other day someone asked Alyssa Milano if she reads Razzball.  This is the kind of initiative we need.  We should all go ask her to say hello in the comments here.  And congratulate her on her new book (and Embrace of the Vampire.)

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks.  If you’re not on the Wandwagon yet, you should be.

Brandon Morrow – I think he’s headed for the Disgraceful List.  Aardsma would be a smart play.

Michael Bourn – 4-for-5, 2 steals.  Clearly, Bourn got amnesia about what an awful player he was in the past.  I own him on a team.  Is it fo realz?  Who gives an eff in the effin’ eff hole?  He’s been great.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4.65 on the year.  I think it gets to about 4.30 and then tails off again.

J.J. Putz – Bone spur in his elbow or some shizz.  I know, your Putz is hard to let go of, but K-Rod looks fine, there’s really no reason to be *pinkie to mouth* putzing around.

David Ortiz – 0-for-7, 3 Ks.  You know what would’ve been nice?  When Manny was caught taking lady pills, Ortiz saying he was juicing for five years.  When I compared him to Mo Vaughn, Sons of Sam Horn came out talking about how 2009 was Ortiz’s bounce back year.   Yeah, looks about right.

Ervin Santana – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 base runners and 5 Ks.  He didn’t pick up where he left off, obviously, but it was a tough first match up.  Now he needs to win the hearts and minds of his fantasy owners again.  Right now, they’re smitten with Wandy.

Matt Harrison – 2nd straight complete game.  Who are you, Matt Harrison?  I know!  Someone I wouldn’t own.

Carlos Delgado – Won’t go on the DL for at least a week.  Ain’t that grand?  Now he can take up a bench spot for you.

Felix Hernandez – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Gotta say I felt trepidations creeping through my skull bone on whether to start him against the Rangers.  Thankfully, I chip’d up and let him jump in the scrum.  Whatever the hell that means.

Erik Bedard – Probably will miss his Saturday start with a tight hamstring.  Tight hamstrings are the worst.  Why do they even put string around hams?

Billy Butler – 2-for-5 with his third homer of the year.  At the All-Star Game festivities, they should have a homer derby between Butler and Sandoval.  Mano vs. Mano; Moob vs. Moob; Fat Guy With No Power vs. Fat Guy With No Power.  Of course, the prize would be a ham — with no strings.

Asdrubal Cabrera – 4-for-5, now batting .336.  You guys mocked me when I said he was a good sleeper for this year.  Wait, that wasn’t mocking, that was ignoring.  Damn you!

David Wright – 4 steals.  Tied a Mets record.  No, not Reyes.  It was Vince Coleman.  This was according to Gary Cohen.  I didn’t fact check him, he could’ve made it up.

Fausto Carmona – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER and the Win.  Still not regretting dropping him.

Justin Verlander – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks.  That’s a mighty delish line.  I’m not a big flip-flopper, but 69 Ks over 50 and a third innings is terrific.  His 2nd month has been as great as his first month was bad.  Hopefully, he doesn’t turn back into a six-foot five pumpkin in June.

Nolan Reimold – 1-for-5, but at least he played.

Bill Hall – HR yesterday.  I see your Gamel and I raise you a boo-ya.

Colby Rasmus – HR yesterday.  Take your time, Ludwick.

Julio Lugo – 5-for-6, with a steal, hitting .359 since returning.  Can he fend off Nick Green?  God, I’d hope so.

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Scott Baker, Lieutenant Colonel of Suck.

Garrett Atkins – Major Suck.

Here’s what I said last year about Mat Gamel and his comparison to Ryan Braun, “Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base.  Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game.  Not to mention, his name is almost Gimel, which is the third letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  The similarities are endless!”  And that’s me quoting me!  Wanna really blow your mind?  I wrote a Mat Gamel fantasy baseball outlook post back in December of last year.  Prescient ain’t just a word I can’t spell without Dictionary.com, it’s a state of mind!  So what can we expect of him, he’s better than Nolan Reimold.  Right now.  He can hit.  I could even see grabbing him in ten team leagues.  He could be The Difference Maker (which would be a great name for a professional wrestler).  The only thing holding Gamel back is he fields like he has two left feet — on the end of his arms.  If the Brewers dare to play him every day over their blahtoon of Hall and Counsell, you should play him too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ryan Ludwick – To the DL.  “Hello, Rasmus.”  “Hey, Duncan, you wanna play every day?” “Sure.”

Gerardo Parra – This one doesn’t walk people, he runs.  He replaced Krispie last night and might spell Byrnes on some occasions.  He’s a solid pickup for the speed deprived.  Parra’s upside is what Maybin should’ve done — 5 homers, 25 steals.  He shouldn’t be a liability on average.  Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he should be grabbed in all NL-Only leagues and mixed leagues deeper than 12 teams.

Nolan Reimold – Getting the call. Ceiling is 20 homers and a .280 average.  Let’s see, for right now:  Gamel, Reimold, Coghlan, Parra, LaPorta, in that order.  And all are better than Hochevar.

Bryan Augenstein – 6 IP, 5 ER, 3 K.  Augenstein reminds me a bit of Slowey because of how few walks he issues.  Just remember how Hochevar stole your innocence.

Carl Crawford – Left with a bruised shoulder.  Should be okay. Get well soon, Carl!

Adam Jones – Left the game with a hamstring strain.  Might be headed to the DL.  Somebody totally harshed his buzz.

Jimmy Rollins – In Premiere’s “Spotted” section, it said that someone saw Rollins do something productive yesterday.

Alexei Ramirez – 3-for-3 yesterday.  Do this for another month and we’ll be even.

Ryan Zimmerman – Here comes the 0-for-30 game streak.  Kidding.  He’s going to be a top five 3rd baseman this year.  Recognize!

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks and the Win.  I’m done fighting it.  Doode turned a corner somewhere.  I’m not trading for him, but I can understand it.

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  More in line with what I expect from him, but still a few more strikeouts.

Jo-Jo Reyes – 3 IP, 5 ER.  Tommy Hanson begins to pack his Hypercolor t-shirts and Zubaz pants.

Scott Richmond – 1 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Told ya he wasn’t long for your team.  I wouldn’t start him again in any league.  As they say on shuffleboard courts, he’s kaput.

Ty Wigginton – Hit his 2nd homer of the year yesterday.  Shot in the dark here, but Wigginton gets real hot for a couple of weeks at a time.  This might be one of those times.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 3 ER.  He’ll be about a 3.25 ERA pitcher this year.  That’s very good.

Joel Pineiro – 6 IP, 5 ER.  See what I said about Richmond then multiply it by three.

Matt Palmer – Complete game, 4 ER to move to 4-0 on the year.  Before you get crazy with yourself, he’s a thirty-year-old rookie and he’s not Dennis Quaid.

Kip Wells – 2nd save and only one run allowed.  Kip walking into the clubhouse, “What can’t Kip Wells do?!  What!?”  Heckler, “Pitch effectively for any extended period of time.”  Kip lowers his head and sighs.

Ross Ohlendorf – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  Talk to the Dorf!

Juan Pierre - I love guys who steal bases up six runs.  You go, Juan!  Get you some, gluttony!

Shairon Martis – 7 IP, 1 ER and his fifth win (the Nats only have 11!)  With a first name like an Israeli prime minister or an Osbourne, you want to write off Shairon Martis, but he’s not pitching above his head right now outside from Wins.  I’d grab him in mixed leagues as a 5th starter.

Ryan Theriot – 2 HRs to bring his total of what the effs to 5.  Guess hiring Jose Canseco as his new strength and conditioning coach wasn’t such a bad idea.

Geovany Soto – Finally.

Chris Young – 4 IP, 6 ER.  Trouble with fly ball pitchers if the wind’s blowing out.

Adrian Gonzalez – 2 HRs and one call to his agent, “Can you get me out of Petco?”

Rickie Weeks – Hit his 9th homer yesterday and is hitting .286.    At some point, he’ll chuck in 15 to 20 steals too.  This could be the year where owners finally see what he can do when he stays healthy.

Ricky Nolasco – 3 2/3 IP, 8 ER.  At this point, he’s probably ending up on waivers in some leagues, but if he’s still owned, I’d fleece his owners as they struggle to sit down.

Chris Coghlan – Member that month long leash Maybin had to hang himself?  Yeah, Coghlan’s now getting it. Hopefully, he can make a Windsor knot from the noose and call it a tie.

Dontrelle Willis – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  There’s nothing that a big Miguel Olivo hug can’t fix.

Brandon Lyon – 2 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  You think when Leyland sent him out there for the 3rd inning he just wanted the game to be over so he could go have a smoke?

Garrett Atkins – 0-for-4, batting .195 on the year.  Clint Barmes is out slugging him .415 to .319.   In case anyone’s confused, Barmes is not having a good season.

Troy Percival – 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Wasn’t a save situation, but it was still a pounding.  I picked up Wheeler in a league, just in case.

Josh Hamilton – Two games from the DL.  Two homers.  As his street value rises.

Russell Branyan – HR yesterday.  I’ve owned him in one league all year.  17/7/31/.271 — Not bad, right?  Yeah, those are Prince Fielder’s numbers.  Branyan’s 20/8/16/.286/1 — And I didn’t draft Branyan in the 2nd round.  Cust kayin’.

When you drafted John Lackey and/or Ervin Santana in your fantasy baseball leagues, you probably didn’t know that you weren’t going to see either of them until the middle of May.  Last year, Lackey suffered from a strained triceps (I think that’s near the biceps — I should’ve been a doctor!) and returned to solid results.  In 163 1/3 innings, he had a 3.75 ERA and 130 Ks.  In the abbreviated 1st half, he had a 2.47 ERA and 1.80 and 1.16 in May and June, respectively.  But in the 2nd half, he had a 4.99 ERA.  Red flag, right?  Not entirely.  He gave up more home runs than his career rate and there’s no reason to think he should give up that many homers again.  However, he’s not getting guys to swing and miss like he used to.  So a better 2nd half, but he’s not a 2.47 ERA pitcher for the whole year either.  Think 3.50/1.22 and 10 wins in 20+ starts.  Then there’s Ervin Santana.  He showed up on the risky pitchers list and promptly went down with an elbow injury.  This was probably due to being overworked last year.  The last two months of rest probably did his arm good, but he’s still a risky proposition.  He’s much more of an unknown on how he’ll bounce back this year.  If he returns with solid results in the first couple of starts, I’d try to flip him for a different piece unless you’re strapped for pitchers.  Don’t sell him for fiddy cents on the dollar.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johan Santana – Mets have given him 9 runs of support in 7 starts.  They’ve also given up 4 unearned runs in those games.  Maybe he can start a support group with Dan Haren.

Carlos Delgado – Out a couple games with a nagging hip injury.  No fear – the Mets have…Fernando Tatis?  What does Omar Minaya do all winter?  Can you think of another team that doesn’t have a backup 1B on the roster or in AAA that is better than Fernando Tatis?  The Mets should trade for Kila Ka’aihue in the hopes he can be their lucky Hawaiian buddha like Benny Agbayani was.

Matt LaPorta – Seems to only be playing against lefties.  Makes him very difficult to own in mixed leagues.

Carl Pavano – Pavano is back from 3 1/2 years on the Disliked List to put up a 3-3 record for the Indians.  With a 6.45 ERA and 1.54 WHIP, consider Mike Mussina and Razzball unconvinced.

Ryan Zimmerman – 4-for-5, 2 HRs yesterday.  I talked him up in the preseason then didn’t get him in one draft.  Very frustrating.

Jay Bruce – 13 runs for the Reds.  0-for-5 for Bruce.  Ticker tease!

Adam Rosales – 3-for-5, HR yesterday, batting .295 for the year.  He’s filled in for me for Aramis in one very deep league and it’s worked out pretty well thus far.

Felipe Lopez – 3-for-4 with a homer.  You would think he was in an 0-for-100 slump with how many questions I get about whether he’s any good to own.  He’s a 2nd baseman going 20/20 and currently batting .323.

Justin Upton – Hit his 7th homer yesterday.  He’s breaking out.  Conor Jackson is breaking out too.  With chicken pox or shingles or something.

Derrek Lee – The bulging disk in his neck was ruled not career threatening.  His hitting on the other hand….

Derek Lowe – 5-1 with a 3.80 ERA.  The ERA is about where you expect it.  The Wins are a bit fluky.  Watching him pitch is like watching an artist mow his lawn.

Jhonny Peralta and Alexei Ramirez – 4-for-9 with 5 RBIs.  Rejoicing for everyone who just picked them up on the cheap.  Grumblings of “About fhuxeing time” for those that have had them since draft day.

Lastings Milledge – Suffered a broken finger in Triple A.  Luckily, he’s got a backup from when the Nats gave him the finger earlier this year.

With Travis Hafner likely on the DL for a while with a pronked shoulder, the Indians called up Matt LaPorta – their prize from sending Sabathia to Bratwurstland.  He’s been tearing it up at AAA with a .333 AVG and 5 HRs in 75 AB.  So could we be looking at Hafner Jr?  Maybe, but it’s more likely we’re looking at a less K-friendly Jack Cust.  He only has about a full season above AA and CHONE and ZIPS projections have him hitting .240-.250 with solid power (think 25 HRs if he got 500 ABs).  Currently, he has OF eligibility in ESPN and 1B/OF in Yahoo.  If you’ve got an extra hitting slot in a 12 team or greater league, he’s worth taking a flier on in case he starts off hot.  Just don’t expect him to be el capitán – be happy if he provides marinero stats.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche! (Not the TV show.)  First I want to mention two trades I did in two separate leagues.  First trade was Elvis Andrus/LaTroy Hawkins for Julio Lugo/Ian Stewart.  This league is 16 teams deep so trading guys you usually find on waivers is actually a necessity.  I had Kelly Johnson at 2nd and Omar Baby was playing over him in Hot Atlanta, so I needed to look elsewhere.  It’s no secret; I’m a fan of Ian Stewart.  As for Andrus to Lugo, they’re more or less tomato-tomahto, but the owner I was trading with is collecting Rangers (he owns 11).

The 2nd trade was a bit bigger.  In a 15 team league, I traded Heath Bell/Huston Street for Dan Haren/David Aardsma.  If you look at the trade, it helps both teams.  But the moral is that closers are like Japanese and German cars – they have excellent trade-in value.  Sure, you’ll get some lemons when you draft them in lower rounds but all you need are a few to hit and you can usually package them for picks from higher rounds.  (On the flip side, speed-only guys seem to have the lowest trade-in value.)  Anyway, let’s get down to bidness:

Carlos Zambrano – Hamstring strain from trying to beat out an infield single.  Typical Zambrano injury.  Actually, typical Zambrano injury would be him straining his forearm from punching his fist at the sky.  Sometime during the 2nd season of an inflated WHIP, I wiped my hands of Zambrano.

Carl Crawford – 6 steals yesterday.  Alien who just landed on Earth, “First Dexter with 5 steals, now Carl with 6.  Wow, these dorky white guys are fast.”

Michael Wuertz – Collecting saves while Ziegler’s out with undisclosed “flu-like” symptons.  Maybe judging the wet-tee contest in Cancun wasn’t the best idea.

Brandon Inge – 8 HRs. Russell Martin, Suzuki, Laird, Ramon Hernandez, Dioner, Yadier and Flores have combined for 8 HRs.

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 3 ER, 4 Ks, has a 3.92 ERA on the year.  This actually seems exactly like what we should get this season from Lee.

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks.  As I said the last time out when he had a quality start, Verlander’s a 4.00 ERA pitcher.  So he can have some awful games, but he’ll also have some solid ones.

Ian Kinsler – 9th homer yesterday.  The hot first half is nothing new.  Staying healthy all year would be.  If he can stay healthy, he could have a season that makes him a top 5 pick next year.  Though in three seasons, he’s never played in more than 130 games.

Scott Richmond – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks. In 30 and a 1/3 innings on the season, Richmond has a 2.67 ERA, 1.22 WHIP, 26 Ks and a 4-0 record.  As I said a week or two ago, I picked up Richmond in a deep league.  Do I trust him to continue this pitching version of Ludwick coming out of nowhere at the age of 29?  Oh, hellz no.  Pitchers don’t slide through that long without being discovered.  There’s too much of a need for them in the majors.  So will he get exploited at some point and end up a Poormond?  Yup, but I’m riding the lightning until it happens.

Ryan Braun - Missed two consecutive games as he nurses a stiff back.  Ryan Braun’s owner, “If he wanted to nurse something, couldn’t it be a baby giraffe?”  I’m legitimately concerned.  This stiff back seems to be connected to the rib cage injury that killed his power last September.  But, in the end, 75% of Ryan Braun (or Ryan Bra, for purists) is still better than 100% of most other players.

Oliver Perez -Headed to the minors or the Disgraceful List.  Here’s the world’s smallest violin.  Here’s the world’s smallest violin walking seven straight hitters.

Brandon Morrow – On the DL.  David Aardsma will fill-in as the closer in the mean’s while, as they said in remedial English.

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Honestly, didn’t like him coming into this year, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.  Seems to be headed for the Disgraceful List.

Ricky Nolasco – 6 Ip, 5 ER. 7.03 ERA on the season and a 1-3 record.  How’s that sleeper pick doing you, non-mustachioed fantasy baseball ‘pert?

Derrek Lee – Grand slam and homers in back-to-back games.  I don’t think we’re ever going to see the Lee of 46 homers again, but the talk of his demise was prematurely reported.

Milton Bradley – 0-for-4 and now batting .116 on the season.  Doode may seriously get killed by a Cubbie fan by the All-Star Break if he doesn’t get his shizz together.

LaTroy Hawkins – 1 1/3 IP, 0 ER.  As I mentioned above, I just traded him (after picking him up on waivers) and if you think you’re going to get out alive with a sparkling month of Hawkins, you’re mistaken.

Michael Bourn – 2 SBs, .301 on the season.  In a 16 team league, I actually own this schmohawk, and remarkably don’t regret it.

Justin Upton – 4th home run in 9 games.  Can hit 25 HRs and .250.  Love to see him steal some bases because otherwise he’s Jose Guillen.  Nice thing about Upton is the perception of him, making him a commodity that can fetch more in a trade than he might be worth.

Mike Cameron – Another homer, bringing him to 6.  I think it’s fair to say at some point the bottom will fall out.  If you can get a solid piece for him in a trade, I’d explore it.

Barry Zito – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks, 3 baserunners and possibly 2 owners in the entire world enjoyed it — Sabean and Bochy.

Chad Gaudin – 5 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Well, he’s no Zito obviously!  In all fairness, Gaudin wasn’t terrible for 5 innings.  Okay, forget fairness.  The final line is ugly.  But the idea is to start him at Petco.  So I’m giving him two more home starts.  We shall see.

Johnny Cueto – 8 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks.  Cueto was a higher touted prospect than Volquez going into last year.  Cust kayin’.

Homer Bailey – Keep him on radars in deep leagues and keepers, he’s still only 23 and won’t be in the minors for long.

Carlos Delgado -Hip problems that might not alleviate anytime soon.  Maybe he should put two baseballs on the bottom of his walker.

Jay Bruce – Hit his 6th homer yesterday.  Wasn’t it like two weeks ago you were thinking about trading him for Bonifacio?  I’m silently judging you.

Pablo Sandoval – Stole a base yesterday.  Gotta blame the pitcher when he lets the runner get an eighty-nine foot lead.

It’s analogy time.  Stolen bases = candy.  Chris ‘Tall’ Young = baby.  Dexter Fowler‘s 5 SBs are thus like taking candy from a baby (or, as Steve Rogers would sing, like takin’ can-dee from a bay-bee).  It’s hard not to love Dexter Fowler right now.  He’s everything we hoped Cameron Maybin would be.  He’s now to the point where he’s must own in 10 and 12 team leagues especially when facing the man we shall now call Cristal (Chris Tall) Young (as opposed to his doppelganger Krispie Young).  But he’s still a rookie OF straight from AA (insert trite Josh Hamilton joke).  His .335 / 9 HR / 20 SB line in 400 ABs at AA does not equate to much more than a 5th OF when equivalized for MLB.  But neither did Hanley Ramirez’s.  And you never know in Colorado.  So if he’s available in your league, you’d be more of a Dexter if you didn’t take a chance on him.  If he’s already snapped up, look to trade that bottom starter, reliever, or OF you’ve got.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Hawpe – Left on a stretcher after Hundley hit him in the neck with a pickoff throw.  Sounds like someone had some misplaced aggression about Fowler.  Hopefully Hawpe’s okay… Because I have him on a team!  No, I’m kidding.  I don’t own him.

Chris Young – 3 IP, 8 ER.  Starting a flyball pitcher in Coors is a risky propostion as it is, then throw in he’s clocked at about 17 seconds to home.

Hanley Ramirez – Hit by a Maine pitch in yesterday’s game, sending fantasy baseball owners to the ground screaming, “Why don’t you hit Maybin?!”  The x-rays came back negative, which is oddly positive — why they don’t just say it’s positive is a modern mystery for The Jonas Brothers to solve in a bad Disney Channel movie.  Hanley will probably miss a few days to give his hand time to be less boo-booish.

Joel Hanrahan – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  Hanrahanananananan is one of my biggest disappointments this year.  All you have to do is save a game every 8th day, is that so hard?  Someone in the comments yesterday mentioned Julian Tavares as a possible replacement.  With a WHIP under 1 and a 3.12 ERA, it’s possible.  I don’t think Mock, who also gave up 3 earned in two-thirds of an inning, is the answer.  Kip Wells may be the answer.  Though the question is unprintable.

Ryan Madson – Got the save.  Brad Lidge has knee inflammation.  Which doesn’t sound bad until you realize that he had an MRI last week that was just disclosed yesterday.  So Lidge’s hurting for over a week with knee problems?  This smells like a future DL stint. Own Madson in every league you can.

LaTroy Hawkins – The Valgreen’s is shut down again for a few days.  A DL stint seems likely here, as well.

Troy Tulowitzki – The Rockies made a questionable move yesterday benching Tulo because of his slump.  He just needs to hit his way out of it and, as they say in the third grade, stop making a federal case out of it.  His BABIP is saying he’s been extremely unlucky.  Maybe he sits out for a few days, but I don’t think they’re boneheaded to hold him out for that long.  The good news is Barmes will play short and Stewart will see time at 2nd base.  I’m not paying a lot, but I am buying into a rebound.

Ryan Zimmerman – One N, 2 HRs.  I hated him so much last year that I’m finding it hard to get excited about Zimmerman this year no matter what he does.  Maybe if he stole 5 bases in a game…

Brian Bannister – 7 IP, 1 ER, 1 hit.  And six walks.  Belch.  You do what you do, but I wouldn’t start him in any league.

David Purcey – 5 IP, 6 ER.  Jose Guillen hit two home runs off him.  Someone needs to be on Bully Beatdown!

Anibal Sanchez – 6 IP, 6 ER.  Sticking with the theme of starters I’m not crazy about, here’s number three.

Rickie Weeks – HR and 4 RBIs.  Just stay healthy…. Or at least have an injury right before Gordan Beckham gets called up.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 1 ER.  2.19 ERA on the year.  Was really impressed with what I saw yesterday with Cueto.  He seems to be very composed on the mound and his stuff is filthy.  He won’t stay under a 3 ERA all year, but 3.50 seems attainable.

Carlos Delgado – News is this Latin 36-year-old is having trouble with his hip.  When Tatis took the field to replace him, Delgado yelled, “Stay off my lawn!”

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 Ks.  Hey, it’s an improvement, right?  Now see if you can trade him.

Raul Ibanez – Grand slam, has 6 HRs on the year and a .342 average.  Sure, he’s not hitting .340 this year.  He won’t break 30 HRs either, but I don’t think he’s necessarily a sell high guy either.

Justin Verlander – 7 IP, 9 Ks.  Well overdue bounceback start from Verlander.  He’s a 4 ERA pitcher, so when you have a 9 ERA, you have some correcting to do.  Also, King of the Obvious says, “The Yankees are currently reeling.”

Tim Wakefield – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit.  That’s Wake on waivers.  Here’s you picking up Wake.  Here’s Wake giving up 8 earned in 2 1/3 innings.

Carlos Pena – 9th homer yesterday.  Could he hit 50?  Maybe there’s a 10% chance, but 40 is in his sights.  ‘Member when Sosa hit 20 HRs in June of ’98?  Now some of my entire teams don’t have 20 home runs.  They do have 5 steals though.  AmblyDexterous!