Matt Kemp doesn’t seem like he cares. Well, about anything outside of protecting Rihanna’s honor and piercings. I don’t blame him. The GM questions his defense. The manager plays Jay Gibbons over him. Andre Ethier gets all the cool pink shirts. Manny was recently overheard saying, “What does a man have to do to get a cool pink shirt up in this mug?!” I contemplated not going with Kemp for this lead because it’s past a lot of people’s trade deadlines. If it’s past your deadline, skip down to the Buy section, there will be plenty of schmohawks to grab off waivers. If it’s not past your deadline, there’s few top players whose value is lower than Matt Kemp right now. Kemp’s owners right now are having flashbacks to last season when he was batting behind the pitcher. Torre’s a Sciosciapath with Kemp, his owners know it. So, step one for value is achieved, Kemp’s price tag is cheaper than his value. Could Kemp continue to suck on the suckhole for the rest of the year? I suppose, loyal Razzball reader. But he’s also capable of a 7+ homer, 5+ steal month and there’s not a lot of guys that can say that, especially at his current price. Anyway, here’s more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Hisabobby Takafelicianell – No relation to Zoey Deschanel, if anyone was wondering. This shituation would be clearer if we only had some idea who setup K-Rod in the Family Lunge. Did Parnell help setup the in-law with a stomach punch or nipple twist? Did Feliciano come in with a left hook? Did R.A. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Almost a 11 K/9 in the minors is, uh, Mike Minor. He major, Kanye. I hope Roberto Kelly doesn’t come back to visit the Braves because when R. Kelly sees a minor, urine trouble! So should you play some Gary Glitter if you’re lusting after this Minor? In 118 2/3 IP this year, he has 144 Ks and 44 walks. Hello, beautiful. Want me to continue? Of course you do. You’re greedy. In Triple-A through five starts, his ERA is 1.99 while rocking a .171 BAA. He probably only has around 7 starts left in his arm this year before the Braves shut him down, but that’s all right, no one has many starts left. Minor’s a must grab in NL-Only and keepers. In mixed leagues, I’d grab him for his first start vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Madson finally took over for Brad Lidge. This was only about three months in the making and after six separate endorsements by Manuel saying Lidge is their closer. Ah fanabla, what a headache. Ever since Brett Myers returned from his MMA training, fantasy baseballers (that’s you!) seem ready to put Myers in the closer role. That would be too easy, right? Right. No, Madson’s the first guy to grab and maybe Myers sees time here and there. I’d grab both of them, unless you have a bleeding ulcer, then I’d stay away. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks and leads the AL with 16 wins. Shoot me now. Seriously. Shoot me and Randy Wolf while you’re at it. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alcides Escobar, SAGNOF! Do you need more? Um, he’s good at defense. Alcides Escobar stole 42 bases in 109 games in Triple-A this year. I dropped Trent Aussie Dog for Escobar in a league, because I need steals more than a flier on power. Have I mentioned Alcides Escobar steals bases? Lots. Of. Bases. You know who gets hurt here? J.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Delgado might as well enjoy a Cocktail or two as he’s the latest member of the new hip injury (double entendre) – the torn labrum. It took A-Rod two months to come back from this and he’s younger, in better shape, and a bigger poser (not sure how the 3rd point is relevant, just felt like saying it). If you drafted Delgado, you’ve got to just let him go. No use clogging up a DL slot except if you’re in a real deep league. Forget the Mets replacements for now – Tatis, Murphy, Kranepool, etc – as none of them have 1B eligibility. Hopefully you have another player for the 1B slot and can just grab the best 1B/3B available for cornerman. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Rickie Weeks – Weeks’s out-for-the-seasony is epidemic, ya’ll. Hardy likes to hit 2nd and Hart or Counsell would make sense in the leadoff spot. If Gamel plays 3rd, Counsell or Hall would be play 2nd. Hall would get a nice boost in value if he gains 2nd base eligibility, which is to say he would go from no value to some value in deep leagues. This Weeks injury should be a wake up call for all Blalock owners. One day he’s hitting homers, the next day he has a root canal that sidelines him indefinitely. Okay, Weeks, Nomar and Baldelli offer you a ride, but the catch is you can’t wear your seatbelt, do you accept the ride? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Johnson injured? That would be precedented. He came out of the game with a weak right shoulder. Yeah, and I have a weak pitching staff without you. Afterwards, Johnson said, “I just don’t feel great.” That makes two of us. Pitchers are always more prone to injuries than hitters and Johnson embodies that. Or maybe he disembodies it. Either way, this is bad news. Hopefully, he caught the problem soon enough and won’t miss too much time. I have a sinking feeling he’s headed for further bad news. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Davis – Hit the game winning homer. After the game, here’s what CJ Wilson said on Twitter, “Rangers are crazy powerful in the late innings. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last year about Mat Gamel and his comparison to Ryan Braun, “Ryan Braun, The Hebrew Hammer, hits for average, power and butchered plays at 3rd base. Well, Gamel can slug with the best of them and plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy in a celebrity softball game. Not to mention, his name is almost Gimel, which is the third letter of the Hebrew alphabet. The similarities are endless!” And that’s me quoting me! Wanna really blow your mind? I wrote a Mat Gamel fantasy baseball outlook post back in December of last year. Prescient ain’t just a word I can’t spell without Dictionary.com, it’s a state of mind! So what can we expect of him, he’s better than Nolan Reimold. Right now. He can hit. I could even see grabbing him in ten team leagues. He could be The Difference Maker (which would be a great name for a professional wrestler). The only thing holding Gamel back is he fields like he has two left feet — on the end of his arms. If the Brewers dare to play him every day over their blahtoon of Hall and Counsell, you should play him too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Ludwick – To the DL. “Hello, Rasmus.” “Hey, Duncan, you wanna play every day?” “Sure.”
Gerardo Parra – This one doesn’t walk people, he runs. He replaced Krispie last night and might spell Byrnes on some occasions. He’s a solid pickup for the speed deprived. Parra’s upside is what Maybin should’ve done — 5 homers, 25 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he should be grabbed in all NL-Only leagues and mixed leagues deeper than 12 teams. Please, blog, may I have some more?
When you drafted John Lackey and/or Ervin Santana in your fantasy baseball leagues, you probably didn’t know that you weren’t going to see either of them until the middle of May. Last year, Lackey suffered from a strained triceps (I think that’s near the biceps — I should’ve been a doctor!) and returned to solid results. In 163 1/3 innings, he had a 3.75 ERA and 130 Ks. In the abbreviated 1st half, he had a 2.47 ERA and 1.80 and 1.16 in May and June, respectively. But in the 2nd half, he had a 4.99 ERA. Red flag, right? Not entirely. He gave up more home runs than his career rate and there’s no reason to think he should give up that many homers again. However, he’s not getting guys to swing and miss like he used to. So a better 2nd half, but he’s not a 2.47 ERA pitcher for the whole year either. Think 3.50/1.22 and 10 wins in 20+ starts. Then there’s Ervin Santana. He showed up on the risky pitchers list and promptly went down with an elbow injury. This was probably due to being overworked last year. The last two months of rest probably did his arm good, but he’s still a risky proposition. He’s much more of an unknown on how he’ll bounce back this year. If he returns with solid results in the first couple of starts, I’d try to flip him for a different piece unless you’re strapped for pitchers. Don’t sell him for fiddy cents on the dollar. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johan Santana – Mets have given him 9 runs of support in 7 starts. They’ve also given up 4 unearned runs in those games. Maybe he can start a support group with Dan Haren. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With Travis Hafner likely on the DL for a while with a pronked shoulder, the Indians called up Matt LaPorta – their prize from sending Sabathia to Bratwurstland. He’s been tearing it up at AAA with a .333 AVG and 5 HRs in 75 AB. So could we be looking at Hafner Jr? Maybe, but it’s more likely we’re looking at a less K-friendly Jack Cust. He only has about a full season above AA and CHONE and ZIPS projections have him hitting .240-.250 with solid power (think 25 HRs if he got 500 ABs). Currently, he has OF eligibility in ESPN and 1B/OF in Yahoo. If you’ve got an extra hitting slot in a 12 team or greater league, he’s worth taking a flier on in case he starts off hot. Just don’t expect him to be el capitán – be happy if he provides marinero stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s analogy time. Stolen bases = candy. Chris ‘Tall’ Young = baby. Dexter Fowler‘s 5 SBs are thus like taking candy from a baby (or, as Steve Rogers would sing, like takin’ can-dee from a bay-bee). It’s hard not to love Dexter Fowler right now. He’s everything we hoped Cameron Maybin would be. He’s now to the point where he’s must own in 10 and 12 team leagues especially when facing the man we shall now call Cristal (Chris Tall) Young (as opposed to his doppelganger Krispie Young). But he’s still a rookie OF straight from AA (insert trite Josh Hamilton joke). His .335 / 9 HR / 20 SB line in 400 ABs at AA does not equate to much more than a 5th OF when equivalized for MLB. But neither did Hanley Ramirez’s. And you never know in Colorado. So if he’s available in your league, you’d be more of a Dexter if you didn’t take a chance on him. If he’s already snapped up, look to trade that bottom starter, reliever, or OF you’ve got. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Hawpe – Left on a stretcher after Hundley hit him in the neck with a pickoff throw. Sounds like someone had some misplaced aggression about Fowler. Hopefully Hawpe’s okay… Because I have him on a team! No, I’m kidding. I don’t own him. Please, blog, may I have some more?