Jake Peavy was walking off the field before the trainers even got to him. On a scale of bad signs, that’s around a 9. That’s on a scale of 1 to 8. The good news is it’s not his arm. It’s his dorsi muscle. Peavy’s a dolphin? Put down your noisemakers, it’s not that good of news. To paraphrase Ludacris, “Peavy back bad, Peavy not good… Peavy back don’t do stuff that yo’ back do… (Repeat chorus 17 times.)” Daniel Hudson, rocking a 3.47 ERA in a hitters’ park in the minors, could get the call if Peavy needs a DL stint. You know that guy you see when you search for Tim Hudson on the waiver wire? That’s him! He has more than a K/IP in the minors, though his control is iffy at times. He’s worth a pick up in AL-Only or deep mixed keeper leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Harang – Headed to the DL with back spasms. Dusty said, “If he dies, he dies,” while wrapped in a Reds flag. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In case you were on a three day bender with Michael Madsen, Troy Tulowitzki will miss up to 8 weeks with a broken wrist. It’s old news by now, but sometimes you just wanna know what Grey has to say. Hey, hey, hey. Wrists are tricky things for hitters. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tulo returns in August and doesn’t start hitting well until September. If you own him, there’s nothing you can do but sit on him. Not literally, unless you have his permission. I wouldn’t trade for him, unless it’s a keeper and you’re rebuilding for next year and can get him for cheap now that he’s out. The Rockies called up Chris Nelson, but he just looks like infielder depth while SS and 2nd base get manned by Clint Barmes and Jonathan Herrera, who sounds like a fashion designer, so if you hear someone say, “Nice glove work by Jonathan Herrera!” You tell them it’s a knockoff. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Manny Corpas – 0 IP, 5 ER. Corpas Christi! The last two days this guy left my ratios looking like a Port Authority toilet. Huston Street gets activated on Tuesday, but Tracy says he’s going to ease Street back into role. Since I own Corpas and not Street on several teams, I’m not sure if I want Street to become the closer sooner or later. Also, for Street owners, if Tracy doesn’t get Street back into the role in short order, he may end up injured again before recording a save. Cust kayin’. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The average for caught stealing percentage in the Major Leagues is 28% so there’s not a whole lot of clubs that believe keeping the guy at first base is of much importance. Of course, some pitchers and catchers are just much easier than others. I remember watching one game where John Popper stole 2nd, 3rd and home on Chris Young while Run Around was playing on the stadium’s PA. Or maybe I just made that up. Either way, Chris Young’s terrible but he’s also a seven foot stick of injury proneness, which is a “u” and some fiber short of pruneness. So let’s look at some guys who are actually playing and how easy they are to steal on for fantasy baseball:
Gil Meche – Leads the league in steals allowed at 13. That’s also more than a third of the bases stolen against Kendall. So Kendall sucks, but Meche is making the most of his suckiness. Or the least. Not sure, lost myself there. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Javier Vazquez went seven innings, giving up 2 ER with 7 baserunners and recording 7 Ks as he lowered his ERA to 8.10. Though, he could’ve gave up 6 runs in 7 innings and would’ve lowered his ERA. Do I think Javy released his inner leprechaun and found the pot on the other side of his crappy pitching? Yes and no. There was no way Vazquez was going to pitch a 9.78 ERA all year. I mean, c’mon, that was obscene. He had given up more runs than innings. He was getting Pwnson’d every time out. The rest of the way he should be around a 4 to 4.50 ERA guy. There’s room to own that, but don’t expect last year this year, clear? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Phil Hughes – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks and now has a 1.38 ERA on the year. I really wanted to own Hughes this year. Alas, it didn’t happen. Alas II, I did draft Joba. Alas III, I dropped Joba before he got any saves. Alas IV, there’s no Alas IV. Dur. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I love guys who pitch so the infielders can help. I don’t know how many people keep up with the GO/AO (Ground out/Air out) stat, but it has been beneficial to me when I’m in a coin toss scenario for spot starts. The list has a smattering of fantasy studs, but has some shockers, as well. This free piece of advice is brought to you by the letter G, the number 8 and pinwheels. So back on point, week 5 has a dual purpose. Obviously to show you who pitches twice and their effectiveness with keeping it on the floor. So here’s the two start pitchers for this week in fantasy baseball:
Mike Leake (NYM vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a bit hoarse after a weekend in Vegas, so don’t ask me to yell. All caps are just too much right now. I’m not sure where I lost my voice. May have been during our spirited game of Pai Gow Poker. What was I doing playing $15 hands of a game where I literally just turned my cards over so the dealer could tell me how to play them? It’s the free drinks, ya’ll! About eighty dollars worth a free drinks to be exact. Oh, and Ubaldo was pitching a no-hitter and Pai Gow Poker had the best seats in the house. I think even the three 70-year-old Asian ladies at the table with us were into it by the ninth. Hair’s to you, Ubaldo! Either way, I’m spent so I’ll have to keep my enthusiasm on simmer for now about Ike Davis. Let’s start this mofo with what Stephen said in the Mets’ Minor League Review, “After hitting zero home runs in 215 at-bats in 2008, doubters began questioning his “raw power,” but failed to consider an oblique injury. Splitting time between High-A and Double-A, Davis flat-out raked. Not necessarily the most polished hitter, he still has some work to do with his swing and strikeout rate, but he should continue to hit for power as he keeps a decent rate of balls in the air (42.8 FB%).” And that’s me quoting Stephen! In nine games in Triple-A Buffalo, Davis has two homers as he hits a robust .357. Not to be confused with the girls in Vegas, who are mo’bust. The Mets are calling up Davis in the next week. Do I take a flier on him in 12 team or deeper mixed leagues? Certainly. Do I expect the 2nd coming of Hayzeus Cristo? Nope. But if he hits in first few games, his value will go sky high and you’ll be able to trade him for more than he’s worth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Mike Jacobs – Designated for assignment. That assignment is to “stop sucking.”
Derek Jeter – Will return on Tuesday after missing yesterday’s game with a head cold. Good to see he’s quickly on the mend because a head cold sidelined Greinke for a year. Please, blog, may I have some more?
How dare you. How dare you make me write a Buy for Jay Bruce. Did you forget all our pre-draft love? It’s less than two weeks into the season. People need to chillax. Here’s what Jay Bruce had to say to all his naysayers. Jay Bruce could hit 7 homers in April. Still. Before he goes streaking, go to Marshall’s and buy him some pants. You owe him that. Bruce is one of those guys that I wish would slump for another two weeks, so I can trade for him even cheaper. I will Mola Ram the Bruce right out of your team’s chest. Then I will grab a fart and Nolan Ryan it right into your skull Robin Ventura-style. As I cackle. I will cackle loudly. Hold Bruce, covet Bruce. Don’t give up on Bruce. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we jump into the players, I need to make an announcement. Our very own Rudy Gamble is getting married in a few weeks. Sorry our three lady readers, the fro’s off the market. So this weekend we’re in Vegas for his bachelor party and I’m his best man. Yes, I got him a blow up doll to carry and a uber-realistic vulva skullcap to wear all weekend. But that means I won’t be as close to a computer to answer comments until Sunday. You guys need to help each other. I know you can. Make me proud. Anyway II, here’s the post:
Jose Guillen – His last three Aprils –> 199 ABs –> 25/7/25/.211. –> Belch. This April his burps smell like he just chugged some rose water. I don’t think in October we’re going to have conversations about whether we can give Guillen an MVP even though the Royals lost a 100 games, but 30 HRs and a .280 average aren’t out of the question. Also known as, what you were hoping to get from Ludwick. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when a player gets hurt, I feel bad if I told you to buy into them. I’m like, “Shove your emotions into your cankles, you sissy!” Alas, my inner Native American watching someone litter in a 70′s commercial comes out. A tear forms in my eye and rolls into my mustache. Then I leave it there to remind me of my fallen fantasy baseball comrades. This mustache holds a lot of tears. But when a player that I warned you against like Aaron Hill heads off to the DL with tightness in his hamstring, I do a little dance like MC Skat Cat. You know the kid in high school that wore a helmet all day that you used to make fun of? Okay, now remember when you were alone in the hallway and that same kid walk passed you and you said hello to him because no one else was around? Today, that kid is Aaron Hill’s owners. Save your ridicule until their back is turned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jimmy Rollins – Having an MRI on his right calf strain. Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now’s the time that you realize your fantasy season is over and you start trading everyone to get Vernon Wells, because you think it’s the old Vernon, who didn’t steal 100 mil from the Blue jays. Come on, seriously. This is a marathon, not a walk to the fridge. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Four months ago, a torn tendon behind his right knee shut Jose Reyes down for the entire season. That’s the good news. In an attempt to return to a team that has been out of the playoff picture since July, Reyes tore his hamstring this week as he ran the bases. His season is finally, completely, officially over. Sure, it wouldn’t been nice to see him steal 65 bases and for the Mets to win 25 and a half games in the last three days of the season, but maybe trying to get him back for the last weekend of the season wasn’t the best idea. Now his 2010 is going to be of the “Is he finally healthy?” variety rather than the “He’s finally healthy” variety. Obviously more will be known as we get closer to next season. I’m sure February Grey is preparing his status report as we speak. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 0 ER, 16 Ks. Probably should’ve been the lead today, but I felt like ranting on the Mets. You’ll forgive me. Take out your Benihana Buddhas and pray that next March your leaguemates look at Nolasco’s 5.06 ERA and pass on him. Then flip a shrimp tail into your hat. Please, blog, may I have some more?