Fantasy Baseball Advice

The murmurs of Heath Bell getting traded to another team by July are getting louder.  (BTW, I love the word murmurs.  I really wanted the survivors on Lost to call The Others, The Murmurs.  Wouldn’t that have been awesome?!  Okay, maybe me.)  Prepare for a dozen or so posts titled, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” at some of our weak sister sites.  And by “weak sister,” I’m talking prison slang and I mean ESPN.  I moved Bell down one whole spot.  I’m not worried in March about someone who might get traded in July.  He will probably drop one or two spots each month until July.  If you get 23 saves, a 1.69 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 42 Ks in 37 1/3 innings pre-All-Star Break, you’ll be mad you drafted him?  Bee tee dubya, those were his 1st half numbers last year.  Then who knows where he goes.  Maybe Lidge and Madson finally give Manuel a coronary and Bell takes over the closing duties in Philly as Victorino player-manages.  Or maybe Bell goes somewhere else.  You get the picture; it’s still early.  Don’t overestimate-slash-overthink-slash-overrate… Just don’t “over” anything.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Francisco Rodriguez (+2) (Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
6. Heath Bell (-1) (Mike Adams, Luke Gregerson)
7. Carlos Marmol (-1) (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
8. Joakim Soria (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
9. Jose Valverde (+1) (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry)
10. David Aardsma (-1) (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo)
12. Francisco Cordero (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
13. Huston Street (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
14. Rafael Soriano (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
15. Billy Wagner (Takashi Saito)
16. Brian Fuentes (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
17. Andrew Bailey (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
18. Ryan Franklin (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
19. Octavio Dotel (Joel Hanrahan)
20. Leo Nunez (Dan Meyer)
21. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
22. Mike Gonzalez (Jim Johnson)
23. Trevor Hoffman (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Brad Lidge (+3) (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
25. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
26. Matt Capps (-1) (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
27. Chad Qualls (-1) (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
28. Kerry Wood (Chris Perez)
29. Brandon Lyon (Matt Lindstrom, Jeff Fulchino)
30. Jason Frasor/Scott Downs/Kevin Gregg (Jeremy Accardo, The Pigeon That Dave Winfield Killed’s Vengeful Grandson)

Since our last check up no games have been played, but there was movement on the closer rankings.  Was it February Grey getting bored and mixing things up?  Probably, but let’s pretend there’s some logic in my reasoning.  Next to the closers that moved, there’s a plus or minus.   Also, Dotel and Valverde weren’t closers a month ago, so they’ve been added.  I gave you some deets on Dotel.  I went over Valverde in the top 20 closers for 2010 fantasy baseball.  There’s also projections for the top 20 closers.  One other thing, someone in the comments yesterday mentioned how Capps and Dotel were not mock drafted at all.  Sure, mock drafts are wonky.  But I do see this in actual leagues.  All closers should be owned.  If I get to the last three rounds of a draft, I’ll take three more closers on top of the three I already own.  Closers’ value skyrockets once the season starts.  In a ‘pert league on May 1st of last year, I traded Heath Bell and Huston Street for Dan Haren and David Aardsma.  You know when I drafted Bell and Street?  Yeah, end rounds.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkeycorns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkeycorns.

5. Heath Bell (+1) (Luke Gregerson)
6. Carlos Marmol (+1) (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
7. Francisco Rodriguez (+1)(Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
8. Joakim Soria (-3) (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
9. David Aardsma (+1) (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
10. Jose Valverde (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Sergio Romo)
12. Francisco Cordero (+1) (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
13. Huston Street (-1) (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
14. Rafael Soriano (+1) (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
15. Billy Wagner (+1) (Takashi Saito)
16. Brian Fuentes (+1) (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
17. Andrew Bailey (-8) (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
18. Ryan Franklin (-4) (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
19. Octavio Dotel (Joel Hanrahan)
20. Leo Nunez (-2) (Dan Meyer)
21. Frank Francisco (-1) (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
22. Mike Gonzalez (-3) (Jim Johnson)
23. Trevor Hoffman (-1) (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

24. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
25. Matt Capps (-1) (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
26. Chad Qualls (-1) (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
27. Brad Lidge (-1) (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
28. Kerry Wood (-1) (Chris Perez)
29. Brandon Lyon (-1) (Matt Lindstrom, Jeff Fulchino, Jeff Soydoubleshotchino)
30. Jason Frasor/Scott Downs/Kevin Gregg (-2) (Jeremy Accardo, J. Scovin Frasoggs the Third)

The 2010 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball.  No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks.  Chillax.  The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are those that play in a Holds league.  That’s wrong, I tell ya.  A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff.  (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.)  Say you had James Shields last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Takashi Saito.  With just Shields, you had the 4.14 ERA dump to clean up.  With Saito and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.80 ERA.  If you also carried Matt Thornton, you had a combined 3.59 ERA.  Not to mention, you had 6 vulture saves.  Oh, and your WHIP went from Shields’s 1.41 to 1.28 and had an additional 139 Ks.  Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1. Matt Thornton – Last year Marmol was number one; this year we go to the South Side.  Not only do I think he steps in for Jenks before the season is through but I also think he puts up fantastic numbers with his purdy K-rate.  2010 Projections:  5-1/2.70/1.05/80, 18 Holds, 15 Saves

2. Fernando Rodney – Will there be guys with better ratios?  Yes.  Isn’t the whole point of being a MR. B is for ratio help?  Yeah, but who’s kicking vulture saves out of bed?  Rodney’s high ranking is predicated on the chance Fuentes loses the job.  2010 Projections:  3-5/4.25/1.35/65, 15 Holds, 12 Saves

3. Scott Downs/Jason Frasor – Frasor should be the closer, could be Downs, but Gregg was just brought in.   You know how sometimes you don’t remember what you did with your keys?  Okay, now imagine you’re Cito Gaston and choosing a closer is the keys.  Downs’s 2010 Projections:  4-2/2.75/1.24/55, 22 Holds, 7 Saves, Frasor’s 2010 Projections: 6-3/3.05/1.22/60, 12 Saves

4. Phil Hughes/Joba Chamberlain – This will be a Spring Training decision for the Yankees and fantasy owners.  The one in the bullpen may actually end up with more value than the one in the rotation.  Projections will come once it’s decided, but expect a lot of Ks and Holds, but not a lot of Saves.

5. Takashi Saito – Member how well he pitched as the Dodgers closer?  Yeah, we can see all that again.  Even if we don’t, he’s proved to be a valuable MR.  2010 Projections:  6-2/2.35/1.24/60, 22 Holds, 5 Saves

6. Matt Lindstrom – It’s anyone’s guess who will be worse in the Astros bullpen, Lindstrom or Lyon.  One will probably get 25 saves and the other will probably get 12.  My guess is Lyon will be the one with 25.  Lindstrom’s for save vultures, not better ratio seekers.  2010 Projections:  2-4/4.40/1.40/50, 15 Holds, 12 Saves

7. Jason Motte – Motte’s ERA should come down from last year and he might get a look as the closer (though I have my doubts on the last point as explained in the top 20 closers for 2010 fantasy baseball post).  2010 Projections:  5-3/3.30/1.28/60, 17 Holds, 3 Saves

8. Matt Guerrier – If this list were simply about Holds, Guerrier would be top 3.  2010 Projections:  4-3/3.55/1.22/50, 22 Holds

9. Drew Storen – I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that the Nats signed Crapps.  Oh wait, I can:  very.  I think Storen can be lights out as the Nats closer right now, but we won’t see him until midseason at the earliest.  This is more a heads up for deep leagues or keepers.  2010 Projections:  1-3/2.00/.90/35, 7 Holds, 3 Saves

10. Franklin Morales – Since he has a Cuddle Boy and a closer labeled “Fragile” in front of him, Morales will probably see some saves.  2010 Projections:  3-3/3.75/1.38/50, 10 Holds, 10 Saves

11. J.P. Howell – Thurston and Lovey’s son is mentioned, but Wheeler and Balfour could also be included because once Soriano goes down with an injury (and he probably will) there will be a vacuum at the closer spot.  2010 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.18/70, 10 Holds, 5 Saves

12. Michael Wuertz – This is more of a gut call, but I think Bailey falters.  Yes, Ziegler’s also there.  Hey, aren’t we all entitled to our nonsensical projections? 2010 Projections:  4-2/3.15/1.35/85, 15 Holds, 10 Saves

13. Chris Perez – Kerry Wood’s all, “I’m a pro!  You can’t get with my stuff!  Ow, I have tendinitis.”  2010 Projections:  2-3/3.75/1.30/60, 10 Holds, 3 Saves

14. George Sherrill – As I said back in October, “From Donkeycorn to a middle man but still retained his value, especially for MR. B’s, as Sherrill only gave up 2 earned runs in 27 2/3 innings in LaLa Land.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2010 Projections:  5-2/3.25/1.25/55, 20 Holds

15. Joel Hanrahan – Octavio Dotel will probably be the best value closer in terms of his ADP when he’s healthy, but Dotel’s 36 years old with a history of elbow problems.  That sounds like a recipe found on Worst Cooks in America. (What, you’re too cool to admit to watching The Food Network?  I know why Anne Burrell always wears a skirt.  So she’s not confused with Guy Fieri.) 2010 Projections:  2-4/4.25/1.40/75, 10 Holds, 5 Saves

16. Sergio Romo – Unless you’re a Giants fan, you’re probably wondering why I’m ranking Tony Romo’s fashion line, Sergio Romo.  His stuff isn’t overpowering but his K-rate is sorta ridunkulous.  Lots of risk with Romo, but if he can continue to baffle hitters he could be a nice find.  2010 Projections:  2-3/3.05/1.00/65, 10 Holds

17. Jim Johnson – I’m confident in Mike Gonzalez’s ability to get saves, but I’m never confident in his manager’s confidence in him.  I really think people in baseball look at his numbers on paper and think, “Great, we have ourselves a cheap closer!”  Then they watch him pitch and they suddenly think, “Wait, he’s a lefty?  Lefties can’t close.”  2010 Projections:  2-6/3.85/1.35/45, 15 Holds, 5 Saves

18. C.J. Wilson – I don’t completely buy the ERA or K-rate last year, but he has experience as a closer and Francisco’s prone to injury.  2010 Projections:  5-4/4.20/1.35/60, 15 Holds, 7 Saves

19. Joel Zumaya – This is more of a flier than anything.  If he finally makes good on his promise, he’ll have more value than most guys on this list.  2010 Projections:  2-3/3.60/1.40/45, 15 Holds

20. Danys Baez – He’s pretty dreadful, but so is the Phils bullpen.  If Baez were on any other team, he wouldn’t be in the top 20… Or top 40 for that matter. 2010 Projections:  3-6/4.50/1.35/45, 12 Holds, 5 Saves

After the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball, there’s lots of names, but this one stands out:

Daniel Bard – I don’t see Bard getting any saves unless Papelbon gets hurt krumping.  Bard could still, however, be the most valuable middle reliever with his wicked fastball.  (Wicked is being used here to add emphasis.  Example, “Mary Sullivan’s so hawt.  She barfed all over a Havahd kid.  What a wicked pissah.  I think I love her.”  2010 Projections:  5-3/3.15/1.25/85, 20 Holds

Our first look at closers for the 2010 fantasy baseball season, including some recent movees.  I already went over Billy Wagner to the Braves, Lindstrom to the Astros, Rafael Soriano to the Rays and Capps to the Nats.  Since then, Mike Gonzalez is a movee to Baltimore.  Bobby Cox was unable to get fully behind a lefty cl0ser, but that doesn’t mean Mike Gonzalez can’t find success with the Orioles.  The only major negative with Mike Gonzalez is I have to write out Mike Gonzalez’s entire name every time I mention Mike Gonzalez because it doesn’t sound right any other way.  It’s still real early in the preseason for closers.  Sometimes these battles aren’t decided until the last week of spring training (you still have time, Astros!).  So this is a like a Google Map of closers that might lead you down a road closed for construction.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jon Rauch)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Hideki Okajima, Daniel Bard)
3. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, David Robertson, Joba Hughesberlain)
4. Jonathan Broxton (George Sherrill, Hong-Chih Kuo)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Joakim Soria (Kyle Farnsworth, Carlos Rosa)
6. Heath Bell (Luke Gregerson)
7. Carlos Marmol (Angel Guzman, John Grabow)
8. Francisco Rodriguez (Kelvim Escobar, Eddie Kunz)
9. Andrew Bailey (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
10. David Aardsma (Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
11. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt)
12. Huston Street (Franklin Morales, Rafael Betancourt)
13. Francisco Cordero (Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset, Jared Burton)
14. Ryan Franklin (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
15. Rafael Soriano (J.P. Howell, Dan Wheeler)
16. Billy Wagner (Takashi Saito)
17. Brian Fuentes (Fernando Rodney, Kevin Jepsen)
18. Leo Nunez (Dan Meyer)
19. Mike Gonzalez (Jim Johnson)
20. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson, Chris Ray)
21. Joel Zumaya (Ryan Perry)
22. Trevor Hoffman (LaTroy Hawkins)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Kerry Wood– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Asdrubal in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

23. Bobby Jenks (Matt Thornton, J.J. Putz)
24. Matt Capps (Brian Bruney, Drew Storen)
25. Chad Qualls (Juan Gutierrez, Bob Howry)
26. Brad Lidge (Ryan Madson, Danys Baez)
27. Kerry Wood (Chris Perez)
28. Jason Frasor (Scott Downs, Jeremy Accardo)
29. Brandon Lyon/Matt Lindstrom (Winner of Radio Phone-In Contest)
30. Joel Hanrahan (Runner-Up To Astros’ Phone-In Contest Winner)

Chris Tillman’s line yesterday was nothing to sneeze at — 6 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners — more like gag.  Sometimes it takes one to get roofied before you fully understand what rookie pitchers can do to you.  I point the rookie pitchers out.  They have upside — hey, look at Happ, he’s been good — but I haven’t owned one since Hochevar.  I love rookie hitters though.  As mentioned before, rookie hitters go 0-for-20, you drop them — no harm, no foul.  You get a Tillman start and you end up walking like you were just jumping hurdles.  So that brings me to, Brian Matusz.  He’s been dazzling in Double-A.  As with most young pitchers, he’ll probably be limited on his pitch count/innings, so I wouldn’t expect more than 8-10 starts.  Then throw in the fact that he’ll have tough matchups and you should proceed with caution, but worth a flier in 12 team leagues?  Sure, if expectations are in check.  Or you can do like I did when I pulled the ol’ “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick with Matusz.  Let me explain the unfortunately named “You gotta use your waiver claim, sucker” trick.  I rushed out and grabbed Matusz off waivers, then the next day I dropped him so someone (<– the sucker) uses their waiver claim to get roofied.  Ah, yes.  That stings.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Zach Greinke – 5 IP, 6 ER, 9 Ks, 13 baserunners.  For the first time in a long time, I’m actually interested in who will win the AL Cy Young.  Sorry, just being a normal baseball fan there.  Won’t let it happen again.

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 5 ER, 8 Ks, 10 baserunners.  Will see Greinke there at the AL Cy Young finish line.

Willy Aybar – 2 HRs.  I looked at him on waivers in one of my leagues on Sunday, but his playing time is so erratic I decided against it.  Sonavawaivers!

Scott Kazmir – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 Ks.  I’ll take this start every time out from Kazmir.  Whether I get it is a whole different thing.

Edinson Volquez – Out until 2011 with Tommy John surgery.  During the preseason, I said to avoid Volquez.  Can’t blame me.  Blame Dusty.

Adrian Beltre – His return is earmarked for Tuesday.  If you find yourself salivating at the thought of Beltre’s return, you might be a St. Bernard.

Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate hit 3 HRs on Sunday.  One homer yesterday.  Tomorrow, The Dread Pirate cures scurvy.

Carlos Marmol – Got the save yesterday because Gregg has a tired arm.  Somehow a tired arm is worse than when an arm falls to sleep.  Weird!

Mat Latos – 7 IP, 2 ER vs. the Braves.  Maybe the Braves are *pinkie to mouth* Latos intolerant.

Will Venable – There couldn’t be a more yawnstipating outfielder, but the Padres hit him third yesterday and he’s been hot (3 homers in his last five games, almost .350 in his last 7 games.).  If he reminds you of Hairston, then lambda! (Lambda is the Greek letter for wavelength.  When someone says something you are thinking, you say lambda.  In other words, you’re on the same wavelength.  The girls love it…. Really, really nerdy girls.)

Elijah Dukes – 2-for-4 as he continues to start every day.  If you’re reading this while you’re standing, sit down.  I want to talk to you.  After you’ve been burned a few times, I know it’s hard to trust again.  I’ve been there.  But this isn’t a trust exercise.  Dukes doesn’t need to catch your falling body.  Stop using stall statements such as, “I’ll pick him up when he gets hot.”  Those are counterproductive, friend.  Pick him up now, if you need outfield help.

Aaron Harang – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 Ks. Maybe I’m a strikeout whore (as I pimp myself out for saves), but I’ll take 10 Ks with 4 earned. By Harang, I’ll take it and like it.

Brett Anderson – 7 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  Other than two starts vs. the Sawx and the Yanks, when he should’ve been benched anyway, he’s been dominant since his last start of June.  He gets the Royals next.

Matt Cain – 8 IP, 4 ER, but took the loss.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s post about FIP.  You can hardly wait.  Yes, you can.

C.J. Wilson – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  That killed my day yesterday.  Total staff inflection.  I guess it’s one way to get Frank Frank back in the closer role.

Neftali Feliz – 2 IP, 4 Ks.  His name sounds like an Aztec God… Neftali, from the town of Velocity, the creator of Ks…  He looked unhittable last night.  Will be fun to see him start next year. Until then…

Melvin Mora – Upset with a lack of playing time, he lashed out at manager, Dave Trembley.  So Trembley asked Mora to make out the lineup card for yesterday’s game and Mora benched himself in favor of Wigginton.

Miguel Montero – 2-for-5, HR yesterday.  Hey, maybe Hinch got the memo to bench Snyder indefinitely, though I’m suspicious.

Dan Haren – 7 IP, 5 ER vs. the Mets.  Is it bad that I took this as a good 2nd half Haren start?  Yeah, probably.  Can’t someone sneak into his house and turn the calenders back two months?

Mark Reynolds – The Mini-Donkey show is hot!  Yesterday, 2 homers for the Mini-Donkey, one to the opposite field in Metco.  As frequent commenter, Elijah, pointed out, Reynolds has 4 ding-dongs at Metco.  That’s one off the lead for all of Metco, including Mets.  Reynolds is also only two behind Pujols for the NL league.  That’s 32 salamis. (Yes, my attempt was to try and cover all possible Google searches for “donkey show is hot” + ding-dongs + salamis + “behind Pujols.”  Welcome, Google Searcher!  We won’t judge you here.)