Greetings fellow fantasy geeks! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, here yet again to service you in ways you once thought irrealizable. I’m merely perpetuating my own genius by coming week after week with top quality, grade-A knowledge. I got’s to drop it on ya’ll, for not tot would be a terrible waste as it would die like a fart in the wind. At long last I’ve reawakened from my Vegas slumber as the elder gods were terribly unkind to me this trip. Of course, that is if you call doing mass quantities of snow with with a pack of bodacious strippers until the birds started chirping unkind. Beyond a doubt the sort of excursion that would make even the great Charlie Sheen jealous. Now let us get to the point of this post. I’m not here to write to you of perfectly formed beauties riding me like a rodeo (or am I), nor am I here to glorify hard core drug usage. What I’ve come here to do today, is talk about Alex Rodriguez, for I am seemingly his last remaining fan on earth.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The longest journey begins with a single step then, of course, an oblique injury. Can we get a team of crack scientists working on a cure for the obliques? The other day someone asked me for money for Doctors Without Borders so they could help people in The Congo. Why isn’t there a guy in front of Whole Foods asking me to donate to find a cure for Jose Reyes‘ oblique? It might be an everyday item that could fix this. Maybe a steady diet of cucumbers is all he needs. How do we know if no one’s doing the leg work? Film a PSA with Chipper Jones and Julie Andrews and show that shizz before movies. We need money to stop the spread of oblique injuries. Now! The Mets are saying Jose Reyes’ newest flare up is mild. They said the same stupid thing with their same stupid mouths two months ago when he missed three weeks. I’m hoping for the best; I’m expecting the worst. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jon Niese – 5 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. I’m probably give him more of a benefit of the doubt than maybe I should, but Niese was done in by a bloop ground rule double that was barely fair and Dessens allowing inherited runners to score.Please, blog, may I have some more?