I already went over my Danny Santana fantasy three weeks ago. But forget SAGNOF, Daniel Santana was an offensive machine this weekend! Leading off for the Twins on Saturday, the 23-year-old went 4-for-5 with a double, five runs batted in, and his fourth steal of the season. Need more? He’s eligible as a shortstop and an outfielder. His defense hasn’t been all that great in the outfield, but he could continue to see reps at both center and shortstop even when Morales is ready to DH. Santana is now 4-for-4 in stolen base attempts in just 72 plate appearances. He’s also hitting .373 with a .408 on base percentage. While it won’t last, he’s worth a look while he’s hot if you need a short-term spark. He’ll face the Blue Jays and the Tigers this week. Both teams are in the top ten in baseball for stolen bases allowed… we call that a green light special.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did anyone actually see that The Adjustment Bureau movie?  I only remember the trailer, but I imagine a lot of those dudes in bowler hats tinkering with Jeff Samardzija yesterday.  Sheesh!  As Lone Star would say to Princess Vespa, “WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!”  PS – go Brewers.

Anyway, whilst Samardzija got dusted by the regression fairies, Roenis Elias is a guy I’ve thought about a few times cracking my weekly top 100, but I could never pull the trigger.  I spot started him here-and-there across a few leagues with middling results, and the few times I’ve watched him, he’s been kinda blah.  Given it wasn’t my full attention… Big looping curveball and a decent heater from a lefty is good enough for the Majors, but is it good enough for your mixed fantasy league?  Then I saw he went all shutty-outty on the Tigers yesterday, and felt he warranted a harder, GIFfy look.  As a guy available in a ton of shallower leagues, I decided he’d be a perfect candidate for this week’s Profiling:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

C.J. Wilson doesn’t really know what’s going on unless Twitter tells him. He tweeted out Mike Napoli’s phone number. He watches Shark Week. He has a big TV. He hasn’t watched his TV since November. His TV is bigger than his car. His car is big. He watches Lost reruns, out of order. He wears Old Spice, on his head. He is a Taoist. He thinks a Taoist has something to do with wearing a towel while being interviewed. He told a guy to wash his mouth out with soap. He listens to Killswitch Engage, which Google tells me is a metalcore group. Even Google didn’t know what metalcore was. Four ladies and gentlemen, those were all C.J. Wilson quotes. Yesterday, he continued his dominance with a performance of 8 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks, ERA down to 3.18. So, you’re saying after Curtis Jackson Wilson was mollywhopped in his first start of the year, I should’ve held him? Since his first start, he’s thrown 34 innings with a 2.12 ERA and he has more Ks than innings pitched. He’s hard to like him because of his all-around douchebaggery, but his numbers aren’t lying and right now they’re saying he’s a strong fantasy number two. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?