Fantasy Baseball Advice

It’s a confusing week for me to grasp. Some formats are a short week, others role on until literally the middle (or end) of next week. So first things first, I will tackle the short 4 game week and give you some unbridled gems of the streaming variety. Stay tuned on Saturday for the following week’s two start thinga-ma-bobbers.  If this is a short week for you, it’s prolly best to grab as many of these guys as possible, longer week not so much as you may want to call Laurel and tell him to take a breather. So enjoy the short week or long and I will give you an update later this week for week 15 ½ or 16. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)

7/14
Bruce Chen @ Min (Liriano) – 2.50 ERA since DL stint return. Is the definition of a streaky low end good/bad pitcher.

Jason Vargas vs. Tex (Holland) – Basically needs to go the distance to have a chance at a win. 1.70 ERA in last 4 starts.

Aaron Harang vs. SF (Bumgarner) – The primate in the zoo, Hodgepadre indeed.

7/15
Andrew Miller @ TB (Price) – 4 starts, 3 wins plays for the best lineup in baseball. That is all.

Doug Fister vs. Tex (Lewis) – Gets zero run support. I really feel bad for him because if you haven’t seen him pitch, he is very unheralded and unrewarded.

Jeff Karstens @ Hou (Myers) – Is he awesome, no. Effective lately yes. Regression will ensue.

Josh Tomlin @ Bal (Arrieta) – Sneaky 10 win pitcher, other numbers say he is pitching exactly the way he should be.

Vance Worley @ NYM (Dickey) – Awesome since mid-June. If he isn’t owned, your league is dull.

7/16
Paul Maholm @ Hou (Norris) – 4-2 with a 1.75 ERA in last 7 starts. For the soon to be first place Pirates.

Barry Zito @ SD (Luebke) – 3 wins, tiny ERA since DL return.

Edwin Jackson @ Det (Scherzer) – Huh, yeah I wanted to highlight that this will be his last start in Chi-town. That’s me predicting me!

Carlos Zambrano vs. Fla (Vazquez) – Fresh from the DL, seems like a trend for this post. Pitches just effectively enough to be added/dropped about 10 times a year. Ah, but look closer, he has RP elig, sneaky play for a Saturday.

7/17
Chris Volstad @CHC (Wells) – Stop trying to strike everyone out, you’re a groundball pitcher.

Matt Harrison @ Sea (Beavan) – Seattle O is good twice a week.  Coincidentally, that’s how much my garbage is picked up.

Brian Duensing vs. KC (Paulino) – Sneaky good lately, here for the added eligibility.

Kevin Correia @ Hou (Rodriquez) – Is money on the road.

We’re going streaming! No? Okay, it’s just me then. As I was doing the research for this week, two things happened. One, I threw up at the possibility of adding any of these lower end guys. Secondly, I kept thinking that maybe I am losing touch with the fantasy world. Has one week really shifted to a baseball tangent of have-nots having relevant value. I’m befuddled at the lack of value for this week’s streaming party. With all the lower end pitching that is out there we get 2 start games from possibly the worst 4 teams in baseball (with their respective options for fantasy goodies). I am upset and demand a pamphlet or at least a seminar on how this happened. This week may be a decent week for you to string along 2 or 3 separate one start pitchers instead. I have included a small list of them as well for your viewing enjoyment. So as you read this, approach with caution and just be confident of the fact that better times are coming for two start pitchers. Good luck. (Please be aware that pitchers and match ups change)

One Start options:
Phil Coke – @Sea vs. Fister 4/19
Esmil Rogers – SF vs. Sanchez4/19
R.A. Dickey – Hou vs. Norris 4/20
Jon Garland – Atl vs. Lowe 4/20
Charlie Morton – @Fla vs. Nolasco 4/20
Josh Tomlin – @KC vs. O’Sullivan 4/21
Kyle Lohse – Was vs. Gorzellany 4/21
Derek Holland – KC vs. Francis 4/22
Clayton Richard – Phi vs. Blanton 4/22

Kevin Correia (@Cin-Wood, Was- Hernandez) – Looked good for 5 innings in last start, unfortunately it isn‘t tee-ball. Lack of K’s is unappealing. Staff aces on mediocre teams get no love.

Jake Westbrook (Was-Lannan, Cin-Lecure) – By name he looks awesome this week. By performance, one would think Duncan hates his guts. Let’s be honest he is a lunch pail ground ball pitcher — no more, no less.

Sam LeCure (Ari-Galarraga, @STL-Westbrook) – 2nd start may be in question with DL returnees Bailey and Cueto. Does a really great Robert Smith impression for his Quebec-based cover band. Seems destined to be in and out of rotation all year.

John Lannan (@STL-Westbrook, @Pit-Maholm) – Decent career numbers against the ‘Lou. Better match-ups this week than the last 2, Nats need to start hitting, starting to be referenced with the Mariners.

Brandon Beachy (@LA-Kuroda, @SF-Lincecum) – Ugh and yuck. Doesn’t seem to be getting any easier for the sleeper. 2 rough road starts.

Jason Vargas (Det-Scherzer, Oak-Anderson) – One bad start in between 2 decent. Can’t trust a team that doesn’t score, plain and simple.

Dustin Moseley (@CHC-TBD, Phi-Lee) – Only given up 4 ER all year in 3 decent starts. Hodgepadre indeed.

Bruce Chen (Cle-Carrasco, @Tex-Holland) – Last 10 starts dating back to last year, 7-1 with a 3.45 ERA. I can’t make stuff up like that.

Fausto Carmona (@KC-Davies, @Min-Liriano) – Unreliable, best word I can think of. Based on match-ups though it makes sense. Minny has 3, count them 3 HR’s all year. The Indians are getting it done though, don’t have the talent to sustain but will be a headache for awhile.

Jonathon Niese (Hou-Rodriquez, Ari-Galarraga) – Last 2 starts not so hot, next 2 pale in comparison by offensive measures. Two starts at Metco, a resounding… maybe. The Wandwagon has lost its wheels and is now a sled and ‘Almost Perfect’ has been anything but.

We are getting down to it, the end of fantasy is nigh. Always wanted to say that. Point leagues are pushing the innings limit, while H2H leagues are figuring out what guy will carry them all week. It’s probably someone on the Rockies, holy hell are they a fantasy juggernaut. They are like getting a hidden onion ring when you order French fries from BK. Well, I won’t keep you too long with the prologue, it’s just useless fodder to warm you up to read the article, I should have sprung for hot chocolate instead. Good luck in your playoff endeavors this week, here are the low budget 2 start pitchers for the week in fantasy baseball.

Livan Hernandez (Hou vs. Norris) (Atl vs. Lowe)
I’m checking his ID, there is no way he is 35. That’s about as hard as he throws to boot. Mike D said it best, “She’s Crafty, and she‘s just my type.”

Bud Norris (@Was vs. Hernandez) (@Pit vs. Duke)
I’m still buying Bud. He’s going to be cheap, his K’s come in 6-12 packs and his Uncle will whoop ya Texas Ranger-style. Coming off 2 decent starts ERA is in the mid 3’s for the month.

Joe Saunders (Col vs. De La Rosa) (LA vs. Billingsley)
Pitches just bad enough to lose. The good news, he has a 4.32 ERA in night games. That’s all I could find stat-wise that didn’t make me vomit.

Rick Porcello (KC vs. Greinke) (Min vs. Duensing)
Where was I when I was 21? Yeah, it’s foggy, but I know I was somewhere not named Detroit. Previous gem versus KC. 7 innings in 5 consecutive starts.

John Lannan (Hou vs. Happ) (Atl vs. Jurrjens)
Has been sneaky decent. ERA a tick above 3 since coming back from injury.

Bruce Chen (@Det vs. Galarraga) (@Cle vs. Carmona)
Why not? 3.90 ERA on the road. I like both matchups, and you could do worse. Not much worse, but it’s worth a shot, and if he sucks then you blame your whole season on him.

Jake Westbrook (@Pit vs. Maholm) (@CHC vs. Wells)
Prolly best name on this list, bad part is that he is prolly owned in your league. Has gotten crap for run support. 3.20 ERA since coming to NL, but we knew that was going to happen.

Chris Capuano (Cin vs. Bailey) (Fla vs. Volstad)
2.50 ERA as a starter, yeah, I had to look that up. Fighting for a job next year which is usually good motivation.

Chris Volstad (StL vs. Carpenter) (@Mil vs. Capuano)
Back from suspension. I mean who doesn’t love a great melee, pacifists that’s who. ERA 2 runs lower at home.

There’s talk that the M’s might punt their closer, just not in the same way the O’s have.  They’re talking about trading David Aardsma.  Member when the M’s were going to be a contender?  That was a fun two weeks in March.  We were younger, you and I (hey!).  You had more hair (hey-oh!).  Doesn’t it seem like every year the pundits latch their unrealistic expectations on a team?  Member when the Royals were going to win it all in 2009?  My prediction for March darling to June dud team of 2011?  The Nationals.  But they have Strasburg and Zimmerman!  Yeah, and John Lannan and that doode you don’t know who plays every other position.  So, Brandon League would take over the job if Aardsma is moved.  I grabbed League where I could because, well, I’m a save vulture, swooping down on closer carcasses any chance I get.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jarrett Hoffpauir – Was called up by the Blue Kays.  He was hitting the ball around pretty good in Las Vegas (in 259 plate appearances, only struckout 15 times and hit 9 long balls).  But what happens in Vegas, well, you know.  Right now, I don’t think our neighbor to the north gives Hoffpauir every day duty (hehe, that sounds like doodie).  I think they move Fred Lewis into the lineup and start Bautista at 3rd base in Edwin Encarnacion’s vacated turd hole he was filling.  Hoffpauir’s worth a lookie-see in AL-Only leagues, since he has 2nd base eligibility in ESPN leagues.

Edwin Encarnacion – Oh, and he’s gone in case you didn’t pick up the above context clue about vacated turd holes.

Everth Cabrera – Could return as soon as Friday after going 0-for-3 with a strikeout and two grounders.  Yup, he’s in game shape!

Mark Reynolds – 1-for-2 with his 17th homer and 4th steal.  For Mini Donkey, today was a good bray.

Justin Upton – 3-for-3, 2 homers, a steal, 4 Runs, 4 RBIs and one old lady saved from the right field pool.  J-Upside, it’s good to see you.

Adam LaRoche – 1-for-4 and a three-run homer.  The clock struck the summer solstice yesterday and LaRoche turned it on.  May sours, June swoon.

Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks in Oakland.  Gio’s becoming a bit of a homebody with his splits.  Over 5 ERA on the road and under 3 at home.  That makes his next start at home vs. Pittsburgh look real nice.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer.  If you want to own Kouz, now would be the time.  Actually, yesterday would’ve been– Well, you get the drift.

Cristian Guzman – 1-for-3 with his first homer.  In other news, there wasn’t a whole lot of baseball games yesterday to talk about.

Carlos Beltran – Reports are coming back that he could begin a minor league assignment within the next week.  That means the New York hype machine about Beltran returning should pickup soon giving you a chance to sell him.

Coco Crisp – Could return this Friday from the DL, but he’s become very injury-prone of late, so tread carefully.  I.e. Coco beware.

Scott Podsednik – 4-for-4 with no runs and no RBIs.  Ah, the joys of being a Royals leadoff hitter.  Some guys who have more runs on the year:  Juan Rivera, J.D. Drew, Aubrey Huff and Adam Dunn.

Mike Aviles – 3-for-4 as he continues to Charley Lau the ball all over the field, hitting near .400 over the last week.  A small nugget to store in the “Read Then Discard” section of your medulla oblongata is how he can’t hit lefties.

Bruce Chen – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks and his 84 MPH fastball battled Livan Hernandez (7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks) and his 82 MPH as National Radar Gun Day was observed in Washington.  Hope the radar guns did something fun on their day off.

A.J. Burnett – 4 IP, 7 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks.  [sarcastic] Good to see his K-rate bounce back. [/sarcastic]  There’s reports that his foot is bothering him, some are theorizing he’s tipping his curveball or just not locating it properly.  For those that like why’s, awesome.  All I know is this guy wasn’t just bad last night, he’s been terrifically bad for the majority of his starts.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see him get sent to the Disgraceful List.  Either way, I’m not starting him in any league for at least one start and probably more.

Phil Hughes – Will be skipped in the rotation as the Yankees try to limit his innings.  Though they should probably limit Burnett’s innings.  I’d expect more of Hughes getting skipped in September as they prepare for the playoffs.  On the scale of no-likey for H2H, that’s about an 8.

Brett Gardner – 4-for-4, 2 Runs and his 23rd steal while hitting 8th.  Yesterday, Jayson Stark said Gardner is on pace for more Runs than any other player in history who has the majority of their ABs from the 8 hole or lower.  Actually, he didn’t say that.  He did say, “Kurkjian, stop your screeching!  I’m hungover.”

The final week of interleague play is upon us and I can hardly hold back the emotions. What will we do when we have to watch the same old boring series between divisional rivalries. Yawn. Teams are starting to feel out the trade market, highlighted by the two teams who are either in bankruptcy or in a financial divorce crisis. The same names keep coming up, Cliff Lee and Roy Oswalt. Cliff Lee is pitching silly right now. For giggles, go look at his K/BB rate and then come back, I’ll wait. Okay, it’s pretty freakin’ funny how well he is pitching for a horrible offensive team. I love speculating, so here is my attempt. Cliff Lee goes to the Yankees in a three team deal. The Dodgers get Javier Vasquez. Seattle gets Austin Romine and Zach McAllister from NY and James McDonald and Kyle Russell from the Dodgers. Roy Oswalt goes to the Rangers for Chris Davis and Robbie Ross. Critique all you want, at least I throw out names unlike other people who talk about trades, get paid to talk about trades and never ever make a prediction that they haven’t read somewhere else. Keep it real, that’s all I’m saying. Back to week 12, here are the two start dudes who will give you quantity this week in fantasy baseball:

Jeremy Guthrie (Fla vs. Sanchez) (Was vs. Hernandez)
If the homerun didn’t exist he would be a god. But it does and he is a used car salesman of SP. Shows you brilliance, sometimes. Then you have to go change the sheets cause he soiled the bed. Take that and he plays for Baltimore. .249 BAA is appealing. 9 QS in his last 12 outings just proves that B-more stinks.

Bruce Chen (@ Was vs. Hernandez) ( StL vs. Garcia)
I honestly thought he was dead until 2 weeks ago. He shows his face every once and awhile to make people believe he exists. He falls into the category of Elvis, Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot.

Gio Gonzalez (Cin vs. Leake) (Pit vs. Duke)
I’m personally not a fan of any pitcher that gives up 10 plus base runners a game. Gets you about 5 K’s a game. Oakland is scuffling and not scoring any runs. That means he’s fantasy recycling, only good once a month.

Tommy Hunter (Pit vs. Duke) ( Hou vs. Oswalt)
Came back from the DL then got hurt in 2 1/3 IP. Maybe iffy for 2 starts, but has been effective:  4ER in 17 innings. Great sleeper for this week if he is able to make both starts. Pittsburgh and Houston aren’t the offensive juggernauts.

Wade Davis (SD vs. Latos) (Ari vs. Lopez)
Early season darling, then what happened? I’ll tell you, professional hitters beating up a #3 type stuff pitcher. Plain and simple, he doesn’t have overpowering stuff and is holding this spot in the rotation for Hellickson. His wins are an anomaly as the Rays were killing it thru 45 games. .275 BAA against is borderline bad. Gets 2 okay matchups to save his spot.

Jhoulys Chacin (Bos vs. Lester) ( @Laa vs. Santana)
Named his first daughter Ubaldo.  Does pretty decent against RH batters at .190 clip. Gets 2 starts against teams that will light it up. No Tulo, sorry had to throw that in there. These will probably be his last 2 starts, until dlR comes back in 10 days or so.

Anibal Sanchez ( @Bal vs. Guthrie) (SD vs. Latos)
Got snakebit last week. Still way undervalued due to his 1.40 WHIP. Best two start option in this whole article. Should have started here and scanned the rest. It rubs the lotion on the skin, or it gets the hose again. Now fly-fly and go pick him up.

Jonathon Niese (Det vs. Verlander) (Min vs. Baker)
The Frying Pan Kid –> Look at his profile picture. Tough 2 starts for a low level SP this week. Gets the butcher and the candlestick maker next week. Only owned in 16% of ESPN leagues. They should call that a fantasy cemetery with all the dead teams that live there.

Jamie Moyer (Cle vs. Talbot) (@Tor vs. Cecil)
About as predictable as liver spots. Raise your hand if you own him and sat him vs. the Yanks. Yeah, me too. Dumb. I don’t know how he does it.  I watched video of him from 1990 and he has all the same mechanics as he did then, just less creaky. I am definitely a fan, because, at 47, I’m going to need a nurse and a healthy supply of bibs.