Joe Nathan reclaimed his closer job this year but was missing something, consistently putting his team behind the 8-ball, so the Twins shifted to CAPPS.  On March 25th, I said this about the Matt Capps and Taipei Slinko shituation, “Here’s what I see happening.  Nathan gets torched and Capps saves a few games while Nathan works things out.  Then Nathan returns, gets torched again and, finally, the Twins send him to the Disgraceful List.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Right now, we’re at the point where Nathan’s off to work things out.  I don’t think this ends well for Nathan.  Someone in the Twins organization should’ve stepped forward and said, “Hey, Taipei, you’re a gamer in the non-nerd way, we appreciate that.  No one likes nerds — the candy or otherwise.  But, listen to me, you’re rushing yourself back.  Chillax!  Go get a Jamba Juice, enjoy some me time and let’s take it slow with your recovery.”  But, well, that didn’t happen.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Brian Duensing – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s a Duensing machine!  Would I pick him up in certain deep leagues?  Yes, but I don’t trust him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Holy hell was week 1 long… though it’s always good when your ace goes three times in the first week. Hopefully, everyone has remained calm and not added Alex Avila and Willie Bloomquist to anchor anything not named a boat. It’s way too early to get all ‘Jerry McGuire’ and say, “The fish are coming with me.” This fantasy is a relationship — not a one night stand!

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Well my friends, or enemies, it has come to be again:  Baseball… sorry… fantasy baseball! Is there anything more addictive than fantasy baseball? Twenty plus weeks of stats and trades, adds and drops. Preseason stuff is all well and good… but we want competition amongst our so-called friends.  Week one started early and for those in weekly leagues that can’t use any of this: I’m sorry.  For those who can, start off by asking yourself, “Will this help me?” and “Do I really need to add any of these players?” The answer to both of those questions is subjective: It all depends on league size, team need, and scoring setup.  So use the advice I give with fair warning and don’t just do it ‘cause I made a suggestion because this is only a guide of who pitches twice.  I can only show you the way, but you must walk it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Matt Cain had a no-hitter through eight innings until an infield single by Jay Payton (who I believe runs with a cane, ironically enough) broke it up.  Final line for Cain was 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks to bring his season ERA to 2.95.  (Fancy metric alert!)  Last year, Cain’s xFIP was almost a run and a half greater than his ERA.  Or if Joe Morgan’s reading, gibberish gobbledygook > meaningful stat.  This year, more of the same.  So my question to you is, does Matt Cain want the Fangraphs Database to commit seppuku?  Leave FD alone, it’s still trying to figure out Austin Jackson’s BABIP!  Personally, I’m done fighting Matt Cain and his lucky ways.  I’ve overthought enough.  (Overthinked?  Overthunked?  Am I overthinking this?)  He’s in a pitchers’ park and he doesn’t give up homers.  Are they associated?  Probably.  He strikes out a fair amount and his walks have been in check this year.  Looks like a number #2 starter.  Wrap it up, I’ll take it.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Freddy Sanchez – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs.  Now hitting over .400 in the last week with homers in back-to-back games.  If it wasn’t the last week, I wouldn’t even mention him.  But right now, it’s not a bad time to ride Dirty Sanchez.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oh, Hanley Ramirez is Hanley Ramirez, and a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all is a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all, and never the twain shall meet.  (I think a “twain” is a train as pronounced by Elmer Fudd.  Don’t quote me on that though.  It could be referring to Shania.  My Google’s broke so I’m shooting from the hip.)  Hanley playing with Pujols’ level of dedication is probably the best shortstop anyone has ever seen.  Hanley as he is now is probably Andruw Jones in five years.  As I’ve said before about Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well.  Hanley hasn’t played since last Wednesday, but for now he’s listed as day-to-day.  Half of me says hold out hope for Hanley to return ASAP.  The other half of me says he has 2 homers and 4 steals this month.  You can probably find that production elsewhere in the last two weeks.  Since Hanley is undroppable in most formats, it’s all probably moot.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Volstad – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks as he handily beat Carpenter (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks) and the Cardinals.  I’ll tell ya what, when the Cards fold, they don’t play.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week’s ERA was 2.44.  That’s 22 earned runs in 81 innings.  The WHIP was 1.28.  That’s 104 baserunners.   Had 5 Wins and 58 Ks.  (That’s minus Thursday’s Westbrook start because, well, it’s Thursday.)  Not too shabby on the ERA considering the schmohawks I recommended last week.  Obviously, I’m just as unlucky with Wins with these borderline starters as I am in my real leagues.  This offseason September Grey is going to Hawaii to see if he can find the Tiki idol that is cursing his win karma and seeing if he can’t fix this problem.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are in no particular order.  Also, in the final month of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, September 17th

Nick Blackburn – As I keep recommending him, I’m probably pushing my luck — or my Bluckburn — but he gets the A’s and has an under 2.00 ERA in his last 31+ IP.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs.  This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN!  All the way across the sky!  OH.  MY.  GOD.  A double home run.  Wait, is this a triple home run?  No, it’s a double home run.  It’s beautiful.  *cries*  The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health.  If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average.  Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27.  Yum with a double shot of gimme.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Eric Young Jr.

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Last week my borderline fantasy starter post regressed to the mean, if ‘the mean’ means getting pantsed in the six grade in front of the girl you have a crush on, but you’re wearing skintight gotchies so no one actually sees anything except your stained underwear.  You know, not great, not terrible.  My line for last week was:  3.43 ERA in 84 IP.  The innings were low because guys were bumped or injured.  Masterson pitched well (7 IP, 1 ER), but it was two days after I recommended him, so I didn’t count it (but I did mention it — natch!).  The WHIP was 1.31 with 5 Wins and 52 Ks.  To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%.  These streamers are in no particular order.  Also, in the final month of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day.  Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:

Friday, September 10th

Clayton Richard – Unfortunately, there weren’t a whole lot of guys to recommend on this first day.  Richard should be started every time out in Petco and that’s where he is on Friday.

Please, blog, may I have some more?