Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yes, the title does sound like a Chinese R & B song.  Krispie Young (For new readers, Krispie Young is the phonetic pronunciation of Chris B. Young to help avoid confusion with Cristal Young.) has been hot as cauliflower after a good broiling.  5 homers in 4 games this week; the post-All-Star Break last year saw him go 9/9 with a respectable (for him) .278.  In 2007, he hit 19 homers and stole 18 bases in the 2nd half (ah, those were the days for Krispie).  It’s critical to have the hot hands on your team this time of the year, especially in H2H leagues.  I’d absolutely lose a cold player to take a chance on Young.  Really, what do you have to lose, besides your league.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get to the Buy/Sell, just wanted to remind people that Fantasy Football has a fire going.  So, if you like, take your marshmallows over there.

BUY

Marlon Byrd – Batting over .500 for the last week.  More than that, he has 17 homers and 8 steals on the year while batting .287.  Yeah, he’s outperforming Carlos Beltran.  How’s dem apples?  Sour?  Ryght?

Seth Smith – Another guy that is outperforming Beltran on the year.  Weird game we got here, fellas (and two girl readers).  In the beginning of the year if you would’ve told me I’d be better off drafting Seth Smith than Beltran in the 2nd round, I would’ve punched you in the nose.  No apology either.  Just a nod telling you you had it coming.  Smith’s time may get bushwhacked a bit by Fowler, but with the way Smith’s hitting, I think the Rox work him in.

Carlos Gonzalez – Let’s all just own Rockies, shall we?  I like that idea.  The nice thing about CarGo (take that, Carlos Gomez!) is that even when he’s not hitting homers, he’s stealing bases.  Aim to please, that’s CarGo’s MotTo.

Ian Desmond – Scroll down to the last post to see what I had to say about him.  Go ahead, we’ll wait.  This is, after all, all about you.

Juan Gutierrez – Gutierrez is the closer.  Not officially maybe.  Or maybe officially.  What, you need a letter from the Queen of England?  He’s getting saves.  That’s all that matters.  How is he only owned in 6% of ESPN leagues?  If you give me your password, I’ll pick him up for you.

Ryan Madson – In the past, Madson hasn’t been great in the closer role, which leads me to…

Brett Myers – He can sneak in and grab a few saves.  Upwards to 4 saves.  Enticing, eh?  Almost as enticing as having your girlfriend meet a drunk Brett Myers at a bar.  I don’t think the closerousel in Philly will be nearly as clear cut as some might think, but there’s so little time left, any of these guys could run with the job for a few weeks.  How’s that for hedging bets?

Mike Gonzalez – Saves in Hotlanta could be a Mike G. Joint.

Madison Bumgarner – In keepers, you own him.  In other leagues, it’s doubtful he sees another start.

Wade Davis – The Rays decided they were better off with Davis over Sonnanstine.  Rookie nookie is alive and well in Tampa.  Our weather is as humid as our pitchers! What are you talking about?  Never you mind.  Friends of the random italicized voice will appreciate it. Wade Davis is still capable of being mollywhopped so if you can’t handle that caveat, do what you do.

Brandon Morrow – Very few starters are coming into the league right now with potential.  Mostly, you’re relying on matchups at this time of the year.  Build up complete.  Brandon Morrow’s back in the rotation.

Eric Young Jr. – I’m warning you now.  This winter will be The Winter of Eric Young Jr. (patent pending).

Michael Brantley – If you’re the kind of guy who paints a face on fruit right before you bite it just to show you’re in charge, then you know what I’m going to say, because I’m that guy too.  Brantley = SAGNOF!

SELL

Carlos Beltran – It was nice that you held onto him through his lengthy DL stint.  Loyalty!  You’ll make a good husband one day.  But just because he’s back, doesn’t mean he’s back back.  He’s still in the cavernous Metco for his home games and it could take a week or two for him to get up to speed.  You have time to wait for him?  Then throw in his knee might hinder his running game.  If you’re in a deep league, I can understand holding him and hoping for the best.  But if there’s guys on waivers, I’d lose Ricky from My So Called Life.

Brad Hawpe – I told you to sell him in June when he was still hitting.  He really hasn’t hit much since then.  You can’t play these vets who aren’t producing just because you wrote, “I Heart Hawpe,” all over your Trapper Keeper.

Joba Chamberlain – I understand you’re a fan of a descendants of much-maligned British Prime Ministers, but he’s pitching three innings at a time.  And not even pitching them very well.

B.J. Upton – Ankle flare ups are hindering his running game.  Being sucky flare ups are hindering everything else.

In roto, you can can’t gain ground in many categories in September, unless you’re already close.  The two categories you can conceivably gain ground in is in steals and saves — SAGNOF!  If you are up in power, or at least far enough that you can’t be caught by the team right behind you, then I’d stack up on guys that could get you some steals.  As for saves, you probably don’t have as many options on waivers.  But there’s a some guys that might get a save or two in the final few weeks, and, well, every save counts.  Anyway, here’s some guys that can provide steals and saves this week in fantasy baseball:

STEALS

Drew Stubbs – He has 5 homers and 3 steals in the majors in two weeks.  He had 3 homers and 46 steals in 5 months in Triple-A.  Maybe he sleeps with a 1996 Brady Anderson card under his pillow.

Michael Brantley -With Sizemore out with elbow surgery he probably could’ve had in May (but then the Indians would’ve lost 95 games instead of 90), Brantley’s seeing time.  He had 46 steals in Triple-A in 51 chances.

Everth Cabrera – EverCab’s linear notes tell us he has 21 steals in 80 games so far.

Angel Pagan – Pagan stole 52 bases one year in the low minors.  So he has the speed (his hitting chops are the issue).

Chris Getz – Four steals in the last six games.  He ain’t glamorous, but Angel Pagan is?

Brett Gardner – Could have some deep Al-Only value for speed.

Eugenio Velez – Velez is one of the few guys that when he’s standing in the batter’s box, you can read everything on the backstop.  This doode needs a serious convo with Davey Lopes.  “Velez, you’re 120 lbs.  How about you run once in a while?  Thank you.”

SAVES

Matt Lindstrom/Kiko Calero – Leo Nunez has looked blechtastic in his last few games.  Lindstrom hasn’t looked much better, but the Marlins need to win the rest of their games so they may try Lindstrom or even Calero.

Phil Hughes – With the Yankees coasting towards the playoffs, Hughes may see some late inning chances as the Yankees try to Dorian Gray Mariano.

Brett Myers – The Phillies may be waiting for Lidge to blow a seven run lead by giving up eight consecutive homers.  I guess what I’m saying is that Myers could be better than Lidge right now, but tell that to the Phils who have trotted Lidge out for the last five months.

Brandon Lyon – Because Fernando Rodney’s been taking anger management classes with Brett Myers.

Chris Perez – I think at some point in the last week or two the Indians will give Perez an opportunity to impress in the ninth.

Kevin Jepsen – File this away with Hughes’s potential saves.  As the Angels lock up the division, they could rest Fuentes.

J.P. Wheelerfourger – The Rays bullpen is in tatters… Shattered.  Key syllable is shat.  Shoot, Price could figure into this closer picture if Howell continues to botch the job. (I love the word botch and I really don’t use it enough.  Maybe that’ll be my 2010 resolution.)

Scott Downs/Jason Frasor – It’s been so long since the Jays got a save, I’m honestly not even sure who their closer is.

Angel Guzman – Really no reason why Marmol loses the job… Right now.  Member he’s been prone to blow-ups in the past.  I kinda just want Guzman to take over so I can hear what song he uses for his entrance music.  Shaggy?  Aerosmith? Real Life?  Whatever it is, it’s sure to be lame.

How about them White Sox?!  Yeah, they chucked in the pale towel sometime between Ozzie Guillen’s Monday outburst and Ozzie Guillen’s Tuesday outburst of this week.  One of the pieces them grabbed that was hailed by many as being a stroke of genius was Jake Peavy.  Yeah, the Padres actually made a good trade there as Peavy struggles with an elbow injury.  Another piece, Alex Rios.  I think even Jessica Shaw would concur Rios is so fifteen minutes ago. He’s batting a cool .156 for the Sox with one homer and one steal.  Those stats are also known as Less Than What Drew Stubbs Did Any Day This Week.  You drafted Rios pretty high, I’m sure.  It didn’t work out.  Holding him is compounding your mistake. Anyway, here’s so other players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Brad Penny – For Christmas, I want a Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!  But I’ll settle for pitching in the NL.

Barry Zito – No, anyone but Zito! Has a 1.92 ERA since the ASB.  But please keep in mind his last blow out was a 4 1/3 IP, 9 ER game vs. the Padres.  So at any time, at any place he could say to you he just ran over your dog, Arfer Woofruff.

Brian Duensing/Jeff Manship – Why doesn’t Manship give his name a LaRoche-type flair?  A’la ManShip.  Much better, right?  Then DuenSing… Well, that kinda looks like an Asian prison name.  These guys may burn you like chlamydia, but if you need to take match-up chances with AL pitchers, I’d take them here.

Buster Posey – This is more about keepers.  Not girls that can tell you Carney Lansford’s career batting average.  Fantasy baseball keepers.

Wade Davis – Same as above.  Go ahead, shift your eyes up.  Too lazy?  Okay.  I’d only go after Davis in keepers.  Or, of course, AL-Only leagues.

Tim Hudson – 5 IP, 2 ER.  (<–Probable pitching line)  Act like you know, MC Lyte.

Franklin Morales – Huston Street’s MIA for a few days, giving way to Morales.

Phil Hughes – If Mariano has to miss time to prep for the playoffs, Hughes would probably get the majority of the saves.

Juan Gutierrez – SAGNOF!  I’d even grab Zavada and Vasquez in leagues where I’m really hurting for saves.

Brett Myers – I see Myers getting up to 3 saves in September, so think about how bad you need those 3 saves.

Brandon Allen – Strictly for power and in deep leagues.  He hit two homers in the last week and a third was robbed by Andre Ethier’s Mom’s son.

Casey McGehee – 3 HRs and 9 RBIs in the last four games.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t steal any bases, but if you need MI pop, there ya go.

Felix Pie – I’ve mentioned him so much in the last few days, I got Pee-ay coming out my ears.  If you haven’t heard me mention him, where ya been?  Vacay?  That’s nice.  Hope you SPF’d the proper areas.  Skin damage is only cool when you’re under 25.

Andy Marte – Loving me some Marte in some leagues.  Why, Grey?  Do tell, you *pinkie to mouth* Smarte. Sure, random italicized voice.  3 homers in the last 7 games for Marte.  Added bonus:  No relation to Damaso.

Yunel Escobar – Batting near .400 in the last week with two homers.  He goes hot to cold quickly, so grab him no or forever hold your peace.  Or piece, if you’re gangsta.

Michael Brantley – My ‘pert radar is telling me Sizemore’s not long for this season.  Brantley’s got speed.  SAGNOF!

Drew Stubbs – He should only be steals, but he’s been showing power.  The power will stop, the Ks and steals will begin.  Any day now, Annie Potts.

Rajai Davis – He’s only listed here because he’s owned in less than 30% of ESPN leagues.  Why is he owned in less than 30% of ESPN leagues?!  Seriously.  He had 15 steals in August and he’s batting near .400 in the last week.

Matt Diaz – It’s Dye-as.  Lefty killer.  Lately, slaughtering both sides.  Anyone who’s read this site for a long time knows that I’ve always liked Diaz as a platoon outfielder. (Play him against his strong side, sit vs. weak side.  Kinda like I’ve been doing with David Murphy and The Big FraGu in one league.)  Really Diaz should be in your lineup vs. everyone until further notice.

SELL

Homer Bailey – Love to be the bearer of good news, but I don’t have any good news for you.  I have bad news.  Bad, unfortunate, sad news.  Bailey has three solid starts in a row, but two were against the Pirates.  If you have to take chances, I kinda understand it.  But Bailey gets the Rockies then the Cubs.  Don’t mind if I don’t.

Brian Matusz/Chris Tillman – Headed for Camp Shutdown.

Kyle Davies – Has back-to-back wins that have netted him a 2.25 ERA and 11 Ks in 12 innings.  Sounds nice, right?  One was vs. the A’s and one was against the M’s.

Adam Jones – Jones is done-zo.

Josh Willingham – Lately, he looks likes the one-tool outfielder he’s always been.

Travis Hafner is coming back.  We’re picking him up for our UTIL slot right now…in our 40 team mixed league.  Brett Myers, who has been a marginal mixed league starter since returning from a bullpen stint 2 years back, may be out for the year with the latest – or should we say hippest – new injury….the torn labrum in the hip.  It’s the new oblique.  We had him on the risky list this year, but thought his elbow would be the first to go after throwing so many sliders last year.  If any Phillie pitcher was going to get a new hip, we would’ve bet Jamie Moyer.  (Incidentally, he’s also first on our list of most likely Phillie pitchers to get a new gall bladder.)  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Grady Sizemore – [sarcasm] Huge game for Grady as he went 1-for-3 with no runs or RBIs or steals.  Watch out now! [/sarcasm]

Clete Thomas – Batted leadoff for the Tigers yesterday.  I’ve figured out Jim Leyland’s master plan!  Anderson had been leading off, but he’s the left fielder and he sat out.  So Clete Thomas was the left fielder yesterday so he led off.  When Clete Thomas was the right fielder, he batted third.  Leyland’s got the positions written on his lineup card and only enough Liquid Paper to change names.  Mystery solved!

Anthony Swarzak – This guy sounds like a guy everyone went to high school with (Dude, did you hear Swarzak bought a Camaro?!) but he’s in fact another intriguing young Twins starter after 2 solid starts in a row… Well, until you look at his AAA and MLB K totals. 6.5 K/9 in AAA and 6 Ks in 2 starts sounds a lot like Glen Perkins Jr.  Avoid him in mixed leagues.

Dan Haren – 8 IP, 2 ER. In the 8th inning, he twisted his ankle and fell.  I began to weep.  He got up and finished the inning (giving up a run).  He looked like he’ll be okay though.  Godspeed, Danny!

Ryan Roberts – I swear every time Daron Sutton says his name, I say to myself, “Brian Roberts was finally traded to a different team?”  Anyway, forget Ryan Roberts, he’s 29.  But that’s what they said about Junior Spivey!

Randy Wells – 4 major league starts now and 4 solid (albeit winless) starts.  Nearly a K an inning and a 1.80 ERA / 1.16 WHIP. He spent the last 2 1/2 years hanging in the Cubs AAA with our pal, IowaCubs, alternating between starting and relieving.  If you’re in an NL-league, hope for a Dempster ride.  In mixed leagues, avoid the Dumpster dive.

David Hernandez – The 4th Baltimore rookie pitcher this year to win his first major league start.  We’re naturally weary of any Orioles starter, but Hernandez warrants monitoring.  His minor-league K rate is very impressive — over 10 in the past two years in A and AA and 12.5 K/9 (!) in AAA this year.  He’s also had some control issues in the minors which extended to his first start (4 walks in 5 IP).  He’s not a top prospect, but neither was Daniel Cabrera and look how well…oh, right….

Luke Scott – 2 HRs yesterday.  Ring, ring… Who’s there?  Cheap power.  Hey, c’mon in, you want a seltzer?

Nolan Reimold – HR yesterday.  Oh, and, um, PICKUP REIMOLD!!! (Caps and heavy hand on the exclamation marks for emphasis and people reading over your shoulder.)

Matt Kemp – 1-for-4 with 2 steals, while he batted eighth yesterday.  Torre said he would’ve batted him ninth but he didn’t like how Wolf matched up with Wells.

Derrek Lee – We had a rare D-Lee sighting last night as he went 2-for-4.  He hit two warning track fly outs too.  I’m not paying to see if this is a start of something, but if you own him, it might be.   Cross your fingers.  But cross two you don’t use much like the pinkie and ring.  Leave the middle one free in case D-Lee comes down with another case of sucking.

Randy Wolf – 7 IP, 7 Ks, 2 ER, has a 1.80 ERA on the season and 64 Ks in just over 76 innings.  No, his ERA won’t stay there, but he could give a 3.50.  Pays to go with the boring guys sometimes.  Oh, and we were just about to see the Wolf take on the Fox when Troncosco relieved Wolf.  This would’ve been the first time we had an all-animal matchup since Paul Byrd threw a tennis ball to his schnauzer, Daisy.

Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions.  Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump,  I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump.  I’m out of order? No, YOU’RE out of order!  Somewhere Michael Barrett flinched.  Jake Fox can do it all. And, like Tyra Banks would say, he can do it fiercely.  His Triple-A numbers are 40/17/50/.423 in 40 games with a .503 OBP.  Pretty sick… And that’s sick as in healthy, not sick as in Conor Jackson, Carlos Quentin or Votto.  But will Fox get time to do any of it, you ask.  Let’s see, Soriano, Hoffpauir, Fuku, FU (Bradley), Derrek Lee and Reed Johnson in four spots.  Fox’s only shot for regular playing time is at 3B and there he’d be a butcher.  At 1B/OF, maybe he gets 3 starts a week unless D-Lee gets hurt.  Though you can call D-Lee “DL” at this point, because he’s been about as reliable as a parachute made of bloomers.  As with other rookies, if Fox gets the chance, he could prove successful, so you want to be the one that owns him.  If he fails, then you drop him and take a bat to the Gatorade cooler.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Manny Parra – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners and 5 walks with 6 Ks.  Unfortunately, this is what Parra do.  Until he can get his walks in order, he’s not worth the psoriasis-inducing head scratching.

J.J. Hardy – 3-for-5.  Hey, look who decided to make an appearance.  He’ll hit .250 and get 20+ homers.  If that’s what you need, that’s what he does.

Matt Capps – Said to be returning soon.  Be nice to get one save for all the effort I put in to pick up Grabow in every league.  Throw Grey a bone here, would ya?

Mat Gamel – 0-for-3.  Sticking with the Mat theme, but dropping one T like a bad geisha.  Gamel’s 3rd base eligibility made him especially enticing to me as a cornerman.  But he’s now making me long for Mark Teahen.

Luke Scott – Returned from the DL and hit a HR.  He’ll steal time from Wigginton, which is ironic because they’re basically the same player.  It would be like Mark Reynolds losing time to Chris Davis.  Tomato-tomahto, Orioles.  Find a blahtoon that makes sense to me then we’ll talk.

Nolan Reimold – Game winning homer yesterday.  See, Gamel, that’s how you turn lemons into Country Time.

Brett Myers – Left the game with his hip to be flared.  Again, he really shouldn’t even be on your team.  To avoid future flare-ups, he promises to wear the proper gear when disagreeing with his wife.

Jay Bruce – 2 HRs.  Now has 14 homers and only 29 RBIs.  Sure would be nice if the Reds put some runners on for him.  Maybe Dizzy Votto and his maritime compatriots can get aboard.

B.J. Ryan – For those holding out hope he’s taking over for Downs any moment, he’s given up 4 runs in the last 2 innings.  The Blue Jays are paying him a lot of money so they feel compelled to play him.  You shouldn’t.

Rick Porcello – 6 IP, 2 ER.  His lack of Ks leaves me wanting more, but he’s obviously been decent.  And his last name sounds like a delicious pasta sauce!

Josh Anderson – 4-for-5 while batting lead-off and stealing his 10th base.  SAGNOF!

Oliver Perez – Jerry Manuel said, Perez will need to be in the minors for at least another start because of “knee problems.” Jerry Manuel needs a bar of soap for some “lying problems.”

Adam Dunn – Hit another HR.  Since I traded him for Jose Reyes, he’s hit about five dozen home runs.  Kill me now.  Thank you.

Derek Holland – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Was a terrible matchup, and he gets the Yankees again next time out.

Chien-Ming Wang – Well, lookie-lookie.  2 IP, 2 Ks and zero baserunners.   Now let’s see you do it when you don’t have a seven run lead.

Elvis Andrus – I feel like I haven’t mentioned this enough, but where’s the effin’ steals, doode?  6 steals so far is not enough.  Let’s go, Elvis, boogie.

Kevin Slowey – I don’t own him in any league, but I gladly would.  I like Slowey a lot.  But because I don’t own him, I had no idea of something… He’s got 7 Wins?!  When did this happen?  Some of my teams don’t have 7 Wins.  Why am I fielding questions about whether to start this guy or not (when I invariably say start him)?  He’s 7-1 with a near-4 ERA.   Yeah, I’d start him.

Jered Weaver – Here’s another guy I feel like I keep answering questions about.  He has a 2.36 ERA.  For criminy sakes, start him.

Adrian Gonzalez – Hit his 18th homer yesterday.  Could this be the year we see a 40 homer guy call Petco home? (<–Sounds like something Tim Kurkjian would say while his voice squeaked.)

Bronson Arroyo – Now leads the NL with seven wins.  After the game he played on his guitar his new tune, “I May Suck, But My Wins Say It Ain’t True.”  Actually, pretty catchy.

Randy Johnson – Goes for win number 300 next week against the Nationals.  After he wins that game, I imagine he’ll say something like, “I could’ve won 500 games if they were all this easy.”

Jesse Chavez – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Somebody got burned yesterday chasing Saves.  A’la Nelson Muntz, ha ha!

Joe Nelson – 2 IP, 4 ER.  See 1/8 of an inch above.

Ben Zobrist – 2-for-3, and a steal.  Even if you just own him while Reyes gets better, it’s something, no?

Ben Francisco – 3-for-5 with a homer.  He’s 8-for-9 with 5 homers against Andy Sonnanstine.  Maybe he can get glasses made that superimpose Sonnanstine’s jersey on every pitcher.

Russell Branyan – Hit his 11th homer yesterday.  In the offseason of 2010, you’ll be looking at first basemen and you’ll think you should draft Branyan because he had 30 homers in 2009.  No, you shouldn’t.  But you can own him this year.

Adam Kennedy – 0-for-8 in the last two days.  He was hot for about a week, then he remembered who he was.  So my question is, who told my Reyes fill-in that he’s just Adam Kennedy?  I had a good thing going, man!

Emilio Bonifacio – 0-for-5, Just doing a friendly check-in on our favorite April 7th pickup.

Dan Uggla – HR yesterday and 5 homers in the last 10 games.  Not hitting for much average, but you didn’t expect him to do that anyway.

David Ortiz – Hit sixth again.  You know what’s been under reported in all of this?  Who’s now hitting third… J.D. Drew.  Zoinks!

Khalil Greene – It’s been a bad year for the Silent H’s as Khalil heads to the DL with anxiety disorder.  If there’s a bright side to this sad, sad story, maybe the anxiety will cause his ugly-ass hair to fall out.