If you had 75 hours into the season for when Joakim Soria would become the closer in Detroit, you win a brand new car*! *Prizes not included (there’s no car; stop being greedy, you instead get words pieced together by the Fantasy Master Lothario). The Tigers’ pen is more of a pencil and a dull one at that. Where for art thou, Willie Hernandez? My kingdom for Todd Jones! Poopie Grande by any other name is still Poopie Grande. That was Shakespeare, you ignant boo-boo! The Tigers did get better yesterday with Joe Nathan, hitting the DL with a flexor strain in his elbow. Like when you remove that hair from your lip mole, it’s addition by subtraction. For those of you that drafted Soria, well done. Hopefully, he keeps the job all year. If Barry Manilow can find love, anything’s possible. By the by, all this time I thought he put the emphasis on Dee in Mandy. Guess I was wrong. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

One of the easiest things to do in DFS is to abandon ship. On Twitter, you can find all the folks you follow in total shambles over the results of the evening’s gameplan. So as you prepare for the next day, it would be real easy to see a good play but pass on it because you feel the burn of the previous evening’s results.

Rather than bailing on the play, there is no better time to double-down on that play, because there are going to be plenty of people who will not get on the boat again, leaving you to be the one to cash in on what you knew was a good play.

You have to have a cornerback’s mentality to have fun at DFS, otherwise you’ll find yourself with a Do-Not-Roster list longer than the player’s eligible. Do your research and trust your process. What you can’t trust is your own recency bias.

With that said, it takes a real thick-skinned player to go back to the well a third time when the other two times haven’t worked out. Yet, that’s exactly what I’m doing tomorrow when I have at least one lineup with a Milwaukee Brewer stack in it for tournament play.

The Brewers have scored a whopping two runs in their first two games, at home, against the not-so-intimidating Colorado Rockies staff. Wednesday they face Eddie Butler, a hard-throwing but otherwise hittable arm that occupies the three slot in the Rockies rotation. So, Adam Lind, Jonathan Lucroy, you’re not leaving my lineups just yet.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Or, the Unexpected Virtue of Active Bidding…

Unlike a certain appendage of mine, I like to keep my intros short, so let’s get down to business. For those of you who were not with us last week, I spewed some thoughts on auction theory and expressed a desire to create a tool to simulate auctions. Seven days later, I have created such a tool. Or at least a basic, yet functional form of one…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey y’all, let me know if you’ve heard this one before. Brett Lawrie is a fantasy sleeper for the YYYY Fantasy Baseball Season! In fact, this isn’t even a new post. I just went back from all the posts between 2012 and 2014 and did a mash-up of them. It was hard to get them all the same font so be thankful this doesn’t read like a ransom note! Speaking of notes, it feels like every spot you’ve taken Lawrie the last few years has left you with an I.O.U. almost immediately after leaving the draft table, doesn’t it? That kind of pain is hard to get over, especially in deeper leagues where your team can falter just on a few bad picks or rise quickly on a few good ones. So what makes drafting Lawrie in the year of the sheep make me feel like the GOAT you ask? Well read on. Here’s my take on Brett for you late round misfit seekers for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…

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I don’t do 1st baseman sleepers because there are none. If you’re drafting a 1st baseman sleeper, you’re losing your league. Who are you putting at 1st? Yonder Alonso? That’s cool. Don’t pay your league fees until the end of the year and then duck out of the country. You feel me? Okay, now stop. 3rd basemen are more or less in the same boat, and that boat is the Titanic and if you draft a sleeper 3rd baseman that doesn’t pan out, you’re gonna sink while holding until to a lady named Rose who gets real old looking, but some of youse have corner men in your league, so we may as well look at a few 3rd basemen for s’s and g’s. Good? Good. These are all 3rd basemen that being drafted after 150 overall. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Indonesia) supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2015 projections. Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2015 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Everything black was white and white was black. Everything up was down and down was up. I was a Girl Scout and the only cookies I could sell were Rah-Rah Raisins and I couldn’t give away the Samoas. I was an Asian in NASCAR. I was a five-foot, six-and-a-half-inch white boy that could hoop. (Actually, that last one is true.) I zagged when I usually zigged! And it felt okay. I didn’t wake in a puddle of sweat like I was a puppet in the Land of Confusion video, wondering what I had done. I didn’t burn all my old draft manifestos like I was trying to escape Olivia Pope from finding me out. I just went at it a little different. This league is a 15-teamer, OBP league, so I used Rudy’s rankings. I still knew which players I liked and didn’t like, but I decided to lean on Rudy, which makes for an interesting draft when Rudy was using the same rankings. For unstints, when Matt Holliday sat at the top of my board for two rounds, I knew Rudy was going to draft him. When Ian Kennedy sat at the top of my board, I knew Rudy was going to Marilyn Monroe that Kennedy. Though, I also knew if I wanted a guy sitting at the top of my board, I needed to act before Rudy. Okay, you’re primed, let’s start coating your mind with knowledge. (BTW, Our Razzball leagues are signing up still. Go there and sign up now!) Anyway, here’s the 2015 Tout Wars draft and my thoughts:

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Psst! This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2015 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post. No, I can’t whisper louder, then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING! Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm are guys I love later in drafts. I’m not going to mention Kolten Wong other than this one mention of him where I say I’m not going to mention him. I love Wong. Tis is true. Come here, let Grey massage your balls…The balls of your feet, silly! Oh, that feels good on my hands. Can I tickle your toes with my mustache? Weird? Okay. I’m not mentioning Wong other than this mention of not mentioning him because these are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 200. Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Spanish-speaking-ones) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2015 projections. Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2015 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Playing in an OBP league not only takes into account more of the players overall performance, it can also help you get a couple of steals on draft day. I took a look at third base and singled out a few players to target and one to pass over that others in your league may be sleeping on…

Looking at the top-5 in OBP last year, we end up with Adrian Beltre (.388), Matt Carpenter (.375), Carlos Santana (.365), Casey McGehee (.355), and Anthony Rendon (.351). No surprise that at number one, is the top ranked third baseman going into 2015, and Rendon is going in the top-20 overall in most leagues, however the others are a bit more surprising. No one is taking Casey McGehee in the top-20 at third base in any league, and no one should, but it’s interesting to see him so high on the list.  Looking past him, we have a couple of guys that are pretty well known to be more valuable in OBP leagues: Carpenter and Santana. Each brings a different skill set to the table, but have significantly more value in an OBP league vs. standard, and if your league is a new to OBP, you should be able to get both at a bargain. Here are a few stand outs that I am targeting in any OBP league.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

So the title is a bit of a superlative. What was I gonna say, “The Mostly Kinda Good Fantasy Baseball Team?” You’ll get over your scoffing, I have faith in you. This is the best 2015 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2015 fantasy baseball and top 400 for 2015 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different, but equally terrific… Well, one of the twenty-five would only be almost terrific, but it would be really hard to tell which one that is. If I took Adam Jones in the 1st round, everything after would change. If I took Anthony Rendon in the 1st round, everything after would change. For this exercise, I’m taking Mike Trout first, because, well, I have him first overall. Until pick 100, I’m taking one guy somewhere in every fifteen picks. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted F-Her and Kershaw in the first round and I was able to take Anthony Rizzo in the 2nd round (which is likely), but since Trout and him are in my first 10 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100’s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the last 200, I gave myself free reign to fill up my team. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. Or reach around, if you’re feeling frisky. It should still be my ideal team… Or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues (Go sign up or start a league). Anyway, here’s the best 2015 fantasy baseball team:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey girls and boys….Did you miss me? I know I’ve been eeeextra naughty by not posting these past two weeks, but don’t worry, Sky already spanked me for it. It’s that time of year again: Valentines day…And mmmmmmm, is there anything on this earth more aphrodisiaciscal than fantasy baseball? Hard, smooth wood demolishing it’s target, over and over and over and over again. Balls smacking against that tight, sweet smelling, worn in pouch. Jockstraps…..errrr, let’s move on. I adore Valentines day!

I’ve received a bounty of extravagant V-day gifts over the years: a Burberry scarf from Grey, Daffodils from Sky, the Bill James collection from Rudy, Special K from J-FOH, gerbils from Richard Gere, a gasmask from Smokey, a microphone from Capozzi (or was that a butt plug?), a Padres onesie from Jay, some sweet Boston rap tunes from Lipshitz, every Nicolas Cage film ever made on laserdisc from Seth, shoot, even Jennifer gave me something once, but that’s just between her and I.

Each week, I will continue to give you some players at each position, I feel are underrated and some I know in the depths of my massive heart, will let us down more so than Emilio Estevez did with D3: The Mighty Ducks, and that my friends is tragic. I am Tehol Beddict, and this is, Disgrace/Delight! Take Heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?