JB and I went to spring training this past weekend in Arizona. Had some great meals, drank some iced Cuban coffees that I tried to order as an ‘iced Puig,’ saw way too many Angels games, obviously went to a Brewers game, and enjoyed my very first six-foot, seven-inch spooning. I needed JB’s oversized spoon after hearing about David Dahl and his rib injury. He has a stress reaction of his sixth rib, and I have a stress reaction with many expletives. You can’t spell David Dahl without dah. Seriously, I tried. Now, I can’t see his name without thinking it’s really “Dah!” Rockies manager Bud Black said that Opening Day is out of the question. I moved him out of my top 20 outfielders and into my top 40 outfielders. I still would draft him, even if he’s no longer in my top 100 overall. The Rockies said Gerardo Parra will fill-in for Dah!, and I’d draft Parra in the last rounds as a flyer just in case Dah!’s injury turns out to be worse than thought. I just jinxed him, didn’t I? Dah! By the by, between Charlie Blackmon and manager, Bud Black, the Rockies have so many white guys trying to take advantage of affirmative action, they should sign C. Thomas Howell star of Soul Man. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re under a month away until pitchers and catchers report to two of the worst states in the Union. This is a good time to check-in with some of those idiots who ruined your fantasy season last year. Each week I’m going to be taking a look at any player who is listed as injured or is about to come back from injury or who is just an injury waiting to happen–looking at you Mike Stanton–I’ll call you Giancarlo when you start acting like Giancarlo. This first article might be a little long, but hopefully I won’t have to cover 14 injuries in a single week during the regular season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s time for the Dodgers’ mailbag with your host, Grey Albright and I’m here with Dave Roberts. First question up, Billy from Toluca Lake asks, “Why didn’t we sign Johnny Cueto?” Dave Roberts runs full-speed towards 2nd and slides head-first…safe! Well, that doesn’t exactly answer the question, but he is still quick. Okay, next question, “Was there ever a chance of re-signing Greinke?” Dave Roberts brushes dirt from his uniform and motions for the ump to call him safe, and he likely would’ve been safe if we were in a game and not just taking questions from Dodger fans. Okay, next, “What exactly is Brandon Beachy doing as a Dodger?” Dave Roberts takes off for third, what a speed demon, though we’re not sure what that has to do with the Dodgers losing pitchers one per hour. Early yesterday, the Dodgers announced Hyun-Jin Ryu hit the DL with elbow tendinitis. There’s no clear timetable for his return, but I’d guess sometime in the future. Him returning in the past seems to be a long shot, at best. Ryu didn’t look good after he returned from injury and I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t return until next season. If you have no DL room, you should look on Redfin. Might be time to get in a bigger place. For now, I’d drop Ryu. Next up for the Dodgers was Clayton Kershaw would be shut down indefinitely. Ouch. I hate to see the top guys in the game get shut down. It hurts the game that we all love. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t own him, and am pumped about the teams that do have him, losing him. Schadenfreude! If he’s shut down now, I’d say the earliest he could possibly return is mid-August. Filling in will be Julio Urias and his special brand of 5 IP, 3 ERA, blink-and-you-miss-it starts, which makes me wonder if he’s seen himself pitch. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Noah Syndergaard admitted to having an elbow bone spur after denying it multiple times. Terry Collins said, “No one would know our business if it wasn’t for giving the PR job to a puppy dog! Ruff ruff! Come here, Fido, I wanna spank you with a rolled up newspaper!” This is the 2nd Mets’ starter in two days with elbow spurs. I look forward to the opening round of the playoffs when all of the Mets’ starters are wearing Iron Mike Sharpe elbow pads to hold their arms together. Or they hire John Cusack to marionette their starters. So, this is obviously not good news from Syndergaard, but it’s also not the end of his season. He could opt for surgery if he’s in pain, but he says he’s not in pain (though, he also said he didn’t have elbow spurs up until yesterday). Jon Lester has pitched through elbow spurs for the last five years. It’s not uncommon for starters to power through. Would I look to sell Syndergaard low? No. If you can get a healthy, similar starter, then sure, why not? No reason to panic. Unless Syndergaard starts wearing cowboy boots on his elbow. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Brian Dozier went 3-for-4, 4 RBIs with two homers (11, 12). Dozier’s quietly had a great June (7 HRs, near-.350), after having a miserable May (2 HRs, .215) and an atrocious April (3 HRs, .191). Who knows what July holds? Which sounds like the title for a piece of art done by Daniel Johnston. Let’s see, Daniel Johnston describing Dozier. “June is Fun! Fun! Fun! If I ever thought I could be happy, it was from Dozier. Fun! Fun! Fun! Oh! That rock and roll! It saves my soul! Owning Dozier in June, it must’ve been a happy time, Kool Aid flowing like wine, the bubble gum, forever-ever-ever-ever-ever-ever after! Now I will get on a random bus in Austin and ride to New Mexico.” Oh, Daniel Johnston, you were taken from us way too soon. *sees he’s still alive* Okay, moving on. So, Dozier has turned his season around and is close to the same pace as his previous season stats (28 HRs, 12 SBs). Moreover, Dozier has cut his Ks by a lot, so he could hit for a better average this year (.250 vs. .235). Daniel Johnston might be onto something. About fun, fun fun not about getting on random buses. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aw, man, now we’re left with the ominous team updates of “Giancarlo Stanton is not in lineup, no other news available.” I think I need to have a talk with him. Maybe I’ll hide in the trunk of his car and get out when he parks in his four-car garage, then go in through the kitchen that’s got the espresso machine on the left; not the kitchen with the soft-serve machine. What? I memorized his Cribs episode, I never snuck in his house. So, times are rough for Giancarlo. The Marlins score 13 runs and he’s not even playing. Holy sit! Giancarlo has the lowest batting average for a qualified hitter. Things are so bad, the other day he hit the hardest recorded ball in StatCast history, 123.9 MPH, and it was a double play. Digging through his numbers is a little bit encouraging. His BABIP is way below his career mark; he’s hitting .192, but could hit .250 the rest of the way. You don’t get him for average; it’s homers you desire like I desire him. His ground balls are through the roof. Not literally, unless we’re talking about roofs of ant farms. All he’s hitting is fly balls and ground balls. His line drive rate is poor. He usually kills fastballs. So far, he’s a negative on them. That was his bread and butter, and right now he’s toast. He’s 26 years old; this should be the prime of his beef. Instead, he’s been getting a steady diet of sliders. That’s not real beef! What I think is going on, he’s dealing with some health issues after his collision with OZUNA, he’s not spitting on sliders and waiting for fastballs. Then when he gets a fastball, he hits it hard, but gets unlucky. Can all of this be changed with me appearing mysteriously in his Snuggie? I’m not sure. The health is an unknown question mark. Eventually, he should get luckier and do damage on some fastballs, assuming he’s healthy. I wouldn’t count him out, but health has been an issue for him in the past. If I were able to get a tasty offer for someone buying him, I could see letting him be someone else’s problem. For now, I will wait in his bathroom wearing a shirt that matches his wallpaper, and try to ‘talk’ some encouragement into him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Shin-Soo Choo hit the DL again. Yeah, surprise, surprise. Never would’ve seen that coming, unless you’ve followed Choo’s career for the last three seconds. In other news, Joey Gallo was called up. Here’s my transactions yesterday: Team Albright dropped Tyler Goeddel for Mikie Mahtook. Twenty-nine minutes later: Team Albright dropped Mikie Mahtook for Delino DeShields. Two hours later: Team Albright dropped Delino DeShields for Matt Holliday because someone else grabbed Joey Gallo already, and Team Albright didn’t feel like adding Junichi Tazawa for the sixth time. Gallo has e-meants power. His power is so e-meants I can’t even spell immense correctly, except there. He had 8 HRs in 24 games this year in Triple-A and six homers in about a month last year in the majors. This offseason I said, “I get the sneaking suspicion that Joey Gallo is going to be The Return of the Sucky Average Lagoon Monster, who was played briefly in an off-Broadway revival by Chris Carter. In Double-A last year, Gallo had a 39.5% strikeout rate. That’s absurd. That’s the same rate historians have said Babe Ruth had after an all-night bender with Fatty Arbuckle when Ruth showed up and accidentally went up to bat still wearing his sleep mask. Fun fact! Sleep masks for the wealthy used to be made from raw hamburger patties. So, with Gallo wearing a raw hamburger on his eyes, is there any chance of him hitting above .200? Not if he can’t tame his strikeouts.” And that’s me quoting me! Good news, prematurely balding men and five lady readers, Gallo’s tamed his Ks by a lot this year in Triple-A. He’s cut them to 22.6%, and was hitting .265. If he can hit .265 with the Rangers, he’ll be more valuable than Prince Fielder this year because Gallo has 40-homer power. I tried to pick him up in every league, and I suggest you do the same. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The amount of elite pitching available on Tuesday is absurd. First off, it’s Kershaw Day and that means you have to decide whether you want to take roughly 28 percent of your salary and invest in the only sure thing on the slate. Other attractive options include the head-to-head matchup between Max Scherzer ($12,700) and Noah Syndergaard ($11,400), both of whom should receive your exposure in selected spots. While I love all three pitchers on Tuesday, it’s hard to pass up another ace in Madison Bumgarner. Everything about this matchup is so perfect that MadBum will probably give up nine earned runs in 0.2 innings pitched and completely tank your line. JUST KIDDING! Bumgarner is safe and will be a chalk cash game play, but that’s okay. All we care about is results. This could very well be the first game of the season where Bumgarner goes the distance. Even if he doesn’t the strikeouts will be plentiful and a win seems likely.
New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 23rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Owning Max Scherzer last night was like watching the Showtime classic, Emmanuelle, the erotic thriller starring Emmanuel Lewis as Webster Schlong and Alex Karras as George Papadopepuss. Through 6 IP, Scherzer had 13 Ks and was only 77 pitches. On the Tigers broadcast, Jimmy Leyland said, “(Scherzer) looks spent.” Who’s a better judge of that than his ex-manager? If only the Nationals had Jose Valverde to come in. But then Scherzer went out in the 7th and had a 1-2-3 inning with two Ks and it was if Shannon Tweed had appeared next to Emmanuel Lewis and this erotic thriller became more elaborate, convoluted and spectacular! Then Scherzer came out in the 8th and struck out three more guys to put his total at 18 Ks. Then, came the ninth. Now, no guy has a shorter hook than Emmanuel Lewis, but no manager has a longer hook than Dusty. Scherzer could’ve been on pitch 175 and he would’ve been out there to finish it, and finish the Tigers he did. Final line: 9 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 20 Ks. He is still giving up homers though…. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jung Ho Kang returned to the Pittsburgh line up after being sidelined since last September with a fractured tibia and what a return he had. Tibia shmibia! Kang came back with style, hitting two ding-dongs and going 2-for-4 with 3 RBI. Talk about gung ho! Talk about an obvious headline! What? You think you can do better? Go ahead and try. Please don’t I need that .0001% of a cent per page view every month if I want to afford my obsessive soba noodles and MOBA habit. Kang slashed .287/.355/.461 last season with 15 homers and 58 RBI. If there’s a possibility Kang is somehow still available in your league now’s your chance because he won’t be long. Me suspects manager Clint Hurdle will ease Kang into the daily line up slowly, but if he keeps hitting dingers we should see him playing everyday sooner rather than later. From the looks of it, Kang is going to pick up right where he left off and be a valuable fantasy asset immediately.
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?