Anibal Sanchez threw a complete game shutout with four baserunners and 10 Ks. I told you to draft him! (Then drop him.) Shut up, Parenthetical, you know-it-all. (That’s kinda harsh.) This is exactly what I expected from Anibal (in the NL).Please, blog, may I have some more?
There once was a boy who went by the name of Grey. Grey didn’t always pay his bar tab. Grey didn’t always change his underwear. He didn’t like the theater. He never ate fortune cookies, though he did read the fortune.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First Stanton, now Joey Votto. I got two good knees. Take my knees. Please! I take my knees everywhere and they always find their way home. I will attempt to put into words how distraught I was over losing Votto, but Autocorrect tried to change put into pout, so even it knows this isn’t going to be easy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It hasn’t been easy owning Matt Wieters this year. After a monster April (.279 / 6 HR / 15 RBI), he had an Arencibian May (.188 / 2 HR / 7 RBI). All the while, catchers on the waiver wire like A.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Morrow left yesterday’s game with an oblique injury that was considered substantial. Sounds like he’s headed to the DL. I’d gloat, but then he’ll return in three days and hit .400 for a month with little power. I’d say I told you to sell Morrow, but no one likes an “I told you so.” They’re more unlikable than that Joe fella from MasterChef. I’m just going to say one thing, I feel really sorry for Morrow’s owners. But I said that sarcastically. Ooh, the reverse middle finger roll! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carl Crawford – About two weeks away from game action. Vegas just set the over/under for his next setback at two weeks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?) this year, but can’t play every day, and when he does, he needs to DH. So, since Mark Trumbo fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo fielded commie accusations, it seemed like Trumbo (Mark) would be benched a lot. In years past, Scioscia would’ve went with some variation of a light-hitting middle infielder with a good glove — “You can’t teach moxie! Moxie’s innate! Chone Figgins had so much moxie. He could’ve played 3rd base, 2nd base and waitressed at a diner from midnight to 8 AM.” That’s a direct quote from Scioscia’s autobiography, “Crouching Angel, Hidden Drag Bunt.” But maybe Scioscia learned himself something because Trumbo is playing every day, and hitting well. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homers. Right now, Trumbo’s hitting .326. That’s probably through his ceiling for average, through the ceiling above it and out the roof. He could hit 50 to 60 points below that. There’s still plenty of value here. He’s on his way to 30-plus homers, solid counting stats and 10-plus steals. Basically, what you hope you get from Pujols at this point. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – And just when you think The Sciosciapath has his harsh mellowed over the closer sitch, he goes and flips the script. Colvin and CarGo, two lefties, were due up in the ninth, so I’m guessing he went with Downs there for that reason. I’d continue to hold Frieri, but obviously Downs isn’t out of the picture completely. He’s kinda photobombing the closer picture, actually.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alex Castellanos was called up by the Dodgers to replace the DL’d Kemp, so what’s this guy’s story? He was found in an orphanage in Crete. He grew up eating ambrosia, feta and olives. He spent all of his waking hours either playing baseball or pooping because of his diet. Oh, you mean what’s his story as in what’s his stats like? He looks like a product of the PCL, which is more glamorous than a product of Greek economists, but just as dangerous. As we know, hitting in the PCL is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat. So far in Triple-A this year (21 games), he has 4 homers, 7 steals and a .361 average. That’s being wholly supported by an inflated BABIP because his K-rate isn’t pretty. He’s closer to a .270 hitter with 10-ish homer power and 15-ish steal speed. That’s solid enough in NL-Only leagues for a placeholder, but I’d hold off in mixed leagues for now. In keepers, I’d pursue slightly more aggressively, but he is already 25 and from his picture it looks like it’s a Latin 25. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Kemp – Won’t return for at least 4 weeks with a strain in two different places. One place is his hamstring, the other place is his ears from the high-pitched screeches of his fantasy owners.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ernesto Frieri got the save yesterday in the 11th inning, but Downs came on in the 9th in a tie game. On one hand, teams hold back their closer in a tie game in away games, in case they get the lead. On the other hand, sometimes whoever pitches the ninth is the closer. On a third lesser known hand that is actually a mitten on a doorknob, maybe Downs just came in to face two lefties and stayed in for Gomes. On a fourth lesser known hand that is actually a hand spraypainted onto a dolphin, there is no fourth lesser known hand spraypainted onto a dolphin; c’mon, man, that’s just cruel. On a fifth lesser known hand that is actually a giant hand-shaped pinata, The Sciosciapath is managing all of this, so if he sees Frieri get the save, Frieri could be the man. If Frieri is out there, I’d grab him. I still think Downs is in the mix. Walden’s droppable outside of deep leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Marco Estrada – To the DL with a right hip flexor injury. Chubby Checker just shuddered.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Finally, an injury to an Angel that can clear up the awful logjam between OF/DH/3B. Oh wait, it’s to their catcher – Chris Iannetta – where their ‘depth’ involves Bobby Wilson, an injured Hank Conger and sub-Mathis scrubs. Maybe they should try Mark Trumbo at catcher. He’s gotta be better there than at 3B. Chris Iannetta anagrams to Neat Christian – how fitting for an Angel. I guess someone had to be the martyr to save Pujols’s soul from the fiery pits of replacement-level. For those of you in deep enough leagues to warrant a roster spot for Iannetta, just pick up whatever schmohawk catcher is on the waiver wire with the most ABs in the last 2 weeks. Nothing’s sweeter than a random HR from a FA scrub (shoutout to Cesar Izturis’s HR for our NL-only team). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Stephen Strasburg – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 13 Ks. “Wait until he hits twenty-seven years old and he can barely lift his arm to pack his bowl.” That’s Lincecum watching the Strasburg highlights.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk. Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.” Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in the minors. Hello, Will, you be staying for dinner? I’ve prepared a nice spot at the corner spot. Please disregard the Rays embossed flatware that I have there; it was for someone else. This year in 23 games in Triple-A, Middlebrooks hit 9 homers and stole three bases. Last year, he hit 18 in Double-A in 96 games and 7 in 17 games in the low minors. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3 and stole a base. He strikes out way too much currently with little to no walks for him to come close to putting up a good average over the long haul. But long hauls are why you pay movers on Craigslist. You’re looking at short term if you lost Longoria and, for that, I say grab him in AL-Only and deep mixed leagues. If you’re in a league where you can grab Alvarez or Chris Davis, then I’d go with them right now. And, no, I never thought I’d be saying that a month ago. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Josh Beckett – Beckett will only miss one start due to his lat soreness. Lat’s all, folks.Please, blog, may I have some more?