“Is this Men on the Move Moving Company? Great. I have a small problem. Okay, it’s not small. But it is a problem. I have a ‘hype sleeper’ sitting here and I’m trying to move sixteen posts in front of it. You can handle the job? That’s great! Can I get hyphens between each post too? I can? Wow, you guys are lifesavers.” *comes in to see* Hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-hype-post-sleep-hyper. What the hell is this?! I wanted sixteen posts in front of hype sleeper! Not this gobbledygook! So, Taijuan Walker flashed some of that post16-hype sleeper business last night — 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks — to lower his ERA to 4.28. It was an easy matchup (vs. Angels), but it still showed why year after year I keep going back to Walker. He is talented. Can anyone say seventeen posts for 2017? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Is everyone recovered from their NFL opening night hangover? I’m excited to have some NFL DFS to pair with the grind of MLB DFS. Something to keep in mind these next four weeks is MLB DFS will be losing a fair share of players as NFL takes over the scene. Like it or not, NFL DFS is infinitely more popular than MLB DFS. I get it, in this instant gratification world we live in, NFL DFS is that one killer weekend party while MLB DFS is the local bar down the road; it’s there for you every night, but it’s not exactly thrilling. What does this loss mean for us hardcore MLB DFSers? Well, keep an eye out for overlay for one. Mostly though, it means the casual player has likely moved on which leaves stiffer competition from here on out. You have been advised (in my best Nick Capozzi voice, I miss Nick).
On to today, Clayton Kershaw picks right up at basically the same price as when he last pitched…over two months ago. The good news is he pitched a whole 3 innings in his rehab start. I know the guy’s a machine, but I’m not feeling the $13,500 price tag for 5 innings of Kershaw. That brings us to the next high priced ace, Jose Fernandez. The Marlins have already come right out and said Jose will be shut down if they’re eliminated from the playoffs. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t give me a warm fuzzy for his potential innings. For $12,700, I’ll look elsewhere. So, where should we look? Let’s take the jump and see:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 12th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s not much of a secret, of course; or at least, it’s not an undocumented fact: the Rockies away from Coors can be a bore with the bats. Wanna know an undocumented fact? Harambe might be a more long lasting meme than Crying Jordan when all is said and done. I don’t know how I feel about that, honestly, but #DicksOutForHarambe needs to go. NOW. Or at least, the pics preceding do…because gross. But more to the point, the Rockies and the road are the antithesis of Forrest and Jenny. Ice cream and cyanide? Gingers and souls? Jose Canseco and Grey? All important things to factor here as really, Rockies are generally trashy Mctrashersons on the road, holding down the 6th worst wRC+ while K’ing the 4th most at 23.6%. And with that, we turn to our key bold faced name for the intro: A.J. Cole. Cole’s season debut wasn’t spectacular, but definitely useful as he K’d 8 Orioles over 7 IP. He finished just short of 20 points and that was without a win and in Camden Yards. You intrigued yet? Mmm-hmm, thought so. Throw in the fact he’s only $6,300 and for once, it’s alright to get a Cole in your stocking so let’s roll. Here’s my I’m still pretending summer will last forever taeks for this Saturday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 29th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Dodgers were one of the hottest clubs offensively coming into this game, so, what happened? Baseball happened, and Matt Moore throws a gem — 8 2/3 IP, 1 Hit, 3 Walks, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.95. There’s no sport like this anywhere in the world. Though, my 89-year-old Italian grandfather says the bounce on the bocce ball court can be tricky. By the way, I recounted the other day on the podcast how he drove back from Florida, non-stop, in flip-flops. So, yesterday, he went to the doctor because his foot was bothering him and the Pakistani doctor said it was due to the flip-flops. He said, “Get out of here! Your people wear nothing but sandals!” So, great start by Matt Moore, no dur, but he threw the most pitches in a game this season at 133 pitches. Why do you think? Because he can’t throw strikes. Dodgers just happened to feel like swinging at balls. That’s what I hope she didn’t say! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When I was fresh out of college, I worked at a web company (everyone did in the 90s). There was four of us. The other three had real job titles; I was the gofer/do-whatever. It was about a month before I was going back to school for my Master’s. I had no intention of keeping the job. Honestly, I doubt they would’ve kept me for that full month if I weren’t leaving. I failed at everything they assigned me, but they kept giving me new tasks, hoping I’d succeed. The only task I seemed capable of was heating up pre-cooked sausages from Trader Joe’s. I made sausages on a grill for three weeks straight, so, when I finally did leave, they gave me a plaque that reads, “Who wants some sausages?” This brings me to the sudden and incomprehensible rise of Yulieski Guerriel. The Astros are that company, and YuGu is me. The Astros seem between a rock of “We really want this guy to succeed” and “We have about a month left and we’re just hoping something works.” Yulieski hasn’t failed in the minors, he’s looked completely lost. He hit .118 in Double-A, was promoted to Triple-A and hit .222. I could see grabbing Guerriel in all leagues to see if he can get lucky, and figure out how to make something other than pre-cooked sausages for lunch, but the Astros are not promoting him because of how well he’s looked. They’re promoting him because there’s about a month left. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re about two weeks from September call-ups, or as we call it in my house, “One more month and Cougs gets back the Fantasy Master Lothario,” or as they call it in Prospector Ralph’s house, “Let’s make another baby,” or as they call it in any Cubs fan’s house, “Start drinking heavily now so the heartbreak of October is a blurry haze.” By the way, whatever team faces the Cubs in the World Series should pay Steve Bartman to throw out a first pitch of one of the games. Bartman, “I won’t do it.” “We’ll give you $50,000.” “Do you want me to throw out the first pitch while riding on the back of a goat?” So, that brings us to who will be the top September call-up, or at least for hype, Yoan Moncada. About a week ago, Moncada injured his ankle, but he’s likely to be fine in a week. In about 12 days, every fantasy baseball site will be telling you to grab Moncada, so it depends on how quick you need to react in your league on when you grab him, but I would in most leagues. “Why, Unkie Grey, what does Moncada do? Can he help me talk to girls?” Yes! If those girls live in Boston, have red hair and are named Francine. Would you be interested if I told you Moncada went 13/44 in only 97 games with a .300 average? How about if I told you he’s going to play in one of the best offensive parks with one of the best hitting teams? What if I said he’d move your car on street cleaning day? He will do all of that (minus the moving of the car, but it’s good if you get out of the house once in a while). Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twenty-six years after my Lord and Savior, Reggie Jackson, retired from professional baseball to collect cars, full-length fur coats and start a business where you use cocktail franks as cocktail stirrers, I saw a young Mariner by the name of Brad Miller. To this day, when you Google “Brad Miller sleeper,” you still see archival footage of Grey’s massive excitement — that’s not what she said! I was jazzed back in 2013 because Miller had hit 20 HRs, stole 11 bases and over .300 between the majors and minors. Then 2014 and 2015 happened, Miller did nothing, and I retreated into my cubby hole of snack food that I eat out of sight from my Cougar wife. “I’m snacking on kale, baby doll!” “Grey, you sound louder than usual.” I was being amplified due to eating a nacho cheese Bugle. Finally, this year I was sure not to own Miller anywhere. So, of course, he breaks out. Yesterday, Brad Miller went 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 25th homer, 5th homer this week, while hitting .265. On our 30-day Player Rater, Miller is 5th most valuable for hitters. The top 4 –> Blackmon, Hamilton, Braun, Betts. Yeah, pretty good company, like Reggie’s cocktail frank stirrers’ company, The Dog That Stirs The Drink, Inc. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Mookie Betts went 4-for-6, 4 runs, 8 RBIs with three homers (24, 25, 26). In the long, storied history of the Red Sox, Mookie Betts is only the 2nd Sawx player to have two three-homer games in a season; the other is Ted Williams. Mookie Ballgame. The Splendid Splurger. The Greatest Mookie Who Ever Lived With Apologies To Mookie Wilson and Mookie Blaylock. The You Can’t Make This Up Because Your Imagination Can’t Come Up With Anything This Beautiful. The Hamilton Musical In Baseball Form. The Unfrozen Ted Williams. I don’t think it’s hyperbole — which is not the chamber Michael Jackson used to sleep in — to think Mookie Betts will be a top three hitter in 2017 fantasy baseball drafts. He’s now cemented himself in the three hole in one of the best offensive parks, surrounded by a team that is always potent on offense. Betts or Trout? There’s a legit case for Betts, The Splendid Splurger! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, just wanted to announce our RCL fantasy football leagues are signing up. So, go over there and rush the QB! I’m pretty sure that doesn’t stand for Q-Bert. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 1972, a young Polish man by the name of Stanley “Stash” Petrosky burst on the scene with the Pirates organization and stole 87 bases while pinch-running for the Single-A Long John Silvers. No matter how many times corrected, he continually held the bat backwards and never got past Single-A, but his speed was a delight to watch. Since then, Poles have been considered some of the sneakiest fast players in the game. Some social scientists have contended that this is due to the Polish ancestors standing in line for bread. Never wanting to be standing in line ever again, they instead run and steal. Some historians say the Poles have skis on their end of their names because thousands of years ago they would tie flat boards to their ankles rather than walking and they built up a taste for speed. Others say this is ethnic profiling and it should be stopped. Either way, one guy who can’t be stopped is Travis Jankowski. Janky, as he’s not known anywhere, has 25 steals in 184 ABs. Since 2000, Jankowski has the most steals in the fewest plate appearances besides Tony Campana (there’s a throwback name). The King of SAGNOF, Rajai Davis, Jarrod Dyson, Emilio Bonifacio, Dee Gordon and Jordan Schafer are a few of the guys that have been close in the last 16 years, but what Jankowski is doing is historic SAGNOF. Or as it’s known in some cultures SAGNOFski. Oh, and Jankowski is also hitting north of .450 in the last week. Grab him! Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Carlos Correa (4-for-8, 4 runs, 4 RBIs) hit two homers across the doubleheader (three in last three games), making it look easy like North Korea during the ‘imaginary’ Olympics that are being aired in North Korea. “It looks like the U.S.A. is going to take 1st place…” Bad editing splice job, 20 second lag, bad voiceover, “And North Korea just edges out 1st place! Wow, this will be…” Bad editing splice job, obvious voiceover, “North Korea’s one billionth medal win.” By the way, are you as surprised as me that during Olympic competitions you haven’t see any of this: “Okay, Argentina will now be serving for the win. Whoa, I think the Spanish coach just unleashed a nest of mosquitos! He’s Zika’ing them out!” Seriously, no one is Zika’ing out their opponents. So, Carlos Correa found some of his footing yesterday that he showed last August/September. Wait, is he only an August and September player? Septacular! Now he’s going to get to 25+ HRs on the year and be overdrafted again next year. We need a bad editing splice job to remove his 2nd half stats for next preseason. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?