Since our last Closer Look, we’ve had some comings and goings. One coming was Pestano, who last year said Eataly should give out free pizza toppings if you’re wearing Crocs. With Chris Perez going down for 4 to 6 weeks with the ever-mysterious oblique injury, Pestano should see some saves into the beginning of the year. Double negatives aside, I wouldn’t not draft Perez. He should resume the closer job once he returns because the Indians are committed to him, in the same way Courtney Love should be committed. Another coming was Brett Myers, who will take over the Astros closing job. If you grab Myers at a draft, you’re gonna get beat up. Not speaking metaphorically. If you draft Myers, you should be fine for 25ish saves. Another bit of closer news pertains to Brian Fuentes and Grant Balfour. The A’s are saying Fuentes and Balfour are both up for the closer job. Balfour is the better option, but clubs don’t always go with the best option. (Actually, the best option would be Faustino De Los Santos, but he’s not going to be the closer right out of the gate.) I’d draft Fuentes and Balfour (and FDLS in very deep leagues, an acronym that sounds like a dyslexic branch of Latter-Day Saints). Finally, Javy Guerra was announced the closer to start the season by Don Mattingly, who lost all common sense once he shaved his mustache, which is not a coincidence. Guerra could be the closer for the whole season while having one of the best middle men behind him, kind of how Marmol used to work that role. Or Guerra could blow three saves in April and Jansen will be the closer by April 20th. I think there’s a 50/50 chance either scenario happens. I’d draft both. If Jansen goes to the bullpen, maybe the free time will allow Kenley an opportunity to think about designing with something other than polka dots and prove she deserved to be a Project Runway All-Star (hey, four girl readers, who loves you?). Anyway, here’s all the closers for 2012 fantasy baseball:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?