Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done nothing except plunder his fantasy owners’ goodwill. Even Roger ain’t Jolly. The Hoff looks drunk. And Trevor too. The pickups for this duo of dud is Carlos Villanueva, Joel Hanrananananan, Brendan Donnelly, Evan Meek, Hawkins, Coffey, Shelley Duvall, the guy at Subway that kinda skeeves you out, the Polish Sausage in the 7th inning stretch race and Cher. Pick them up in that order. For full disclosure, I grabbed Hanaranananan because Villanueva was taken in all of my leagues. I didn’t go deeper than that. Some shituations just aren’t worth the ulcer. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 2-for-7, 1 RBI. After his first four at-bats yielded 4 Ks, Robot really turned it on. Fool him 5 times, shame on Robot. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas. 3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was. The lack of Ks? How second nature these terrible starts have become for Beckett? Or the amount of wood the Jays were getting after seeing Beckett’s pitches? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when a player gets hurt, I feel bad if I told you to buy into them. I’m like, “Shove your emotions into your cankles, you sissy!” Alas, my inner Native American watching someone litter in a 70′s commercial comes out. A tear forms in my eye and rolls into my mustache. Then I leave it there to remind me of my fallen fantasy baseball comrades. This mustache holds a lot of tears. But when a player that I warned you against like Aaron Hill heads off to the DL with tightness in his hamstring, I do a little dance like MC Skat Cat. You know the kid in high school that wore a helmet all day that you used to make fun of? Okay, now remember when you were alone in the hallway and that same kid walk passed you and you said hello to him because no one else was around? Today, that kid is Aaron Hill’s owners. Save your ridicule until their back is turned. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jimmy Rollins – Having an MRI on his right calf strain. Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like yesterday that the baseball regular season started. We frolicked, hand in hand, through the season. You stopped to pick a flower and I said, “That dandelion looks like a French impressionist painting that you can see up close.” Then we giggled and blew the parachute off its stalk. Today, the parachute lands and I’m sad. The regular season is done. As an action movie sidekick once said right before he was about to be killed, “NOOOO!!!” There’s a cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand fed Doritos. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Sox are a bunch of homewreckers. First they split of the LaRoche brothers then they break up the Duncan father/son combo in St. Louis. Not good news for the softball team managed by Bob Boone with Bret and Aaron Boone on it. Yesterday, the Red Sox acquired Adam LaRoche from the Pirates. This hurts LaRoche’s value a bit, but he was kinda hurting his value on his own. He’ll see time against righties, pushing Lowell to the bench in favor of Youkilis. It’s doubtful Youuuuuuk will see a reduction in time other than the occasional day off. This hurts Lowell’s value as well, but his old man hip was doing that already. Since LaRoche will see time against the stronger half of the platoon and he’s a 2nd half hitter, he’s still worth owning in deep leagues, but you’ll need a backup for when he sits. Meanwhile, the Pirates are that team in your keeper league that can barely field a team but they keep saying, “Wait til next year.” So who plays 1st for the Pirates? Jones? Call up Pearce? Sid “The Dream” Bream? My guess is they’d stick with Garrett “I Need A Nickname” Jones and maybe call up Pearce in a month or so and give him some ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Garrett Jones – 3-for-4, HR yesterday. He’s now batting third for the Pirates and has 9 homers in about three games (and 11 RBIs). I hate to be the buzzkill to your Jonesing, but he will cool off. If you need a piece, no time like the present to trade him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay Bruce owners got their first bit of good news from him as he fractured his wrist. This is like when you’re in a terrible relationship that you can’t get out of because you’re scared to be alone, then the other person comes home and says they’re leaving you. In 12 teams or shallower and non-keeper leagues, I’d remove Jay Bruce from the salamander and chuck him. Even if he comes back, he wasn’t hitting when his wrist bone was connected to his forearm bone. As for keepers, I thought Bruce would be a good sleeper candidate for next year. Now with the nature of his injury, I’m not so sure. If he needs surgery, it’ll be a much longer process. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Webb may miss the rest of the season. Nothing good comes from drafting a top pitcher. Nothing, I tell you. I own Peavy in two leagues, so I’m right there with youse. Remind next year to revert back to not drafting starters in the first five rounds. Actually, next year you probably will be able to get Webb and Peavy after the fifth round. Hmm, that’s a pickle. Guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Webb was diagnosed with an “Ain’t Getting Better” problem. Captain Obvious says, “When a guy misses three months, then goes for an MRI, it’s not a good sign.” I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s shutdown for the year. But you’ve held him this long, what’s another day or two to hear the full prognosis? BTW, prognosis is doctor-talk for the 411. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Coco Crisp – Out for the season when his shoulder went snap, crackle, pop. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With Travis Hafner likely on the DL for a while with a pronked shoulder, the Indians called up Matt LaPorta – their prize from sending Sabathia to Bratwurstland. He’s been tearing it up at AAA with a .333 AVG and 5 HRs in 75 AB. So could we be looking at Hafner Jr? Maybe, but it’s more likely we’re looking at a less K-friendly Jack Cust. He only has about a full season above AA and CHONE and ZIPS projections have him hitting .240-.250 with solid power (think 25 HRs if he got 500 ABs). Currently, he has OF eligibility in ESPN and 1B/OF in Yahoo. If you’ve got an extra hitting slot in a 12 team or greater league, he’s worth taking a flier on in case he starts off hot. Just don’t expect him to be el capitán – be happy if he provides marinero stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Please, blog, may I have some more?
BABIP is Batting Average for Balls In Play. And they do lie, sometimes. But who can resist a title alluding to a Shakira song? Not me! BABIP is a quick way to know how much luck a hitter is having. There’s more to it, but for the purposes of this, above .300 BABIP for a hitter and it means the hitter could hit a bloop single just over the pitcher’s head with a drawn in infield. Below .200 and the hitter could hit a line drive into the Grand Canyon and it would get caught by Alice on the back of a mule. Then there’s HR/FB%, which is a quick way to know if a hitter is hitting more home runs than what makes sense for that player’s amount of fly balls. Then there’s LD%, which is the percentage of hits that are line drives. Line drives are usually a sign of solid contact aka a player is hitting the ball hard. Finally, K% or the percentage a hitter Ks. So why all the fancy acronyms? Well, the other day a FOR (Friend of Razzball), jsp2014 threw this nugget into the comments:
“I was curious about who’s been lucky and unlucky so far for some buy low/sell high ideas, so I did a little research on Fangraphs. I figured this could be useful to others as well:
Min. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I already sort of covered this when I went over how you should not be dropping guys from your fantasy baseball team that you just drafted because they’re in a slump. Due to the amount of feedback that continues to come in about whether or not Chris Davis is worth more than Cristian Guzman (fill in any schmohawk name), I decided to cover the same topic again, but this time with examples. Please, blog, may I have some more?