Brandon Allen

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Logan Morrison Can’t Tiptoe Through His Two Lips

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 117 Comments

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Logan Morrison was optioned to Triple-A New Orleans.  Easy to say he was demoted because of his struggles since the All-Star break, but what fun would that be?  He just started to hit again — 4 for his last 11 with a homer and steal.  As Fredi Gonzalez and Dan Uggla before him, Logan’s run out of town by the Han-Man.  Easily having his worst season, it’s pretty incredible the nerve Hanley has putting his full 5-hour energy drink towards getting rid of Morrison.  Billy the Marlin would like to demonstrate the size of Hanley’s cojones.  I imagine Logan won’t be down in New Orleans longer than a couple of weeks so don’t do anything rash in deep keeper leagues.  Hopefully Morrison doesn’t take a bath in that French-influenced city.    Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Brian Wilson – Out with a back pain.  A back issue sent him to the DL in April, so if this a recurrence it could be trouble with a capital beard.  Romo would be the first option out of the bullpen but he has a tender elbow — I always prefer al dente.  Next up, Affeldt, who’s voiced by Gilbert Gottfried, but he’s a lefty so the Giants might just go with matchups as they did yesterday turning to Ramon Ramirez aka Ram-Ram.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Sic Pence, So Far None The Richer

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 62 Comments

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Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade.  Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player?  He just gives his fans false hope.  False hope is worst than no hope.  See every movie John Singleton’s done since Boyz n the Hood for examples of what hope can do to you.  Awesome, the guy who did Boyz n the Hood is gonna remake Shaft.  No, not awesome.  Terrible.  Thanks a lot, false hope!  Speculation has Pence going to Atlanta, Philly or the Red Sox.  Speculation has me excited to own Pence.  Shoot, speculation sounds like salvation for Pence.  If Pence were a car, I’d put on him a bumper sticker, “Anywhere but Houston.”  His RBIs haven’t suffered as much as you might think considering where he is, but it can only get better.  And his runs, his lineup protection, potentially his ballpark.  I like it.  It’s a win-win-maybe win scenario.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kosuke Fukudome – The Indians acquired the Japanese OF to help fill the void left by Korean OF Shin-Soo Choo.  Hopefully Fukudome doesn’t get hurt or else they may bring in a Taiwanese Little Leaguer.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Giants Reclaim The Brandonship Belt

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 211 Comments

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The Giants brought Brandon Belt back up from the minors where he was batting .293 with 3 homers in 12 games in July.  Last time he was recalled it was the Giants doing their best fill-a-Buster and Belt was a bench bat.  The time before that he was promoted and forgot his game back in Fresno.  “A box of sparklers, a Groupon to the Macaroni Grill, Brandon Belt’s game.”  That’s someone going through a lost and found in Fresno.  So those two negatives led to two (stutterer!) positives.  Bochy started Belt at first and he homered.  I’d look at Belt in all leagues for his sweet, sweet upside, but don’t drop anyone too good or it could end up smacking you upside your head.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we get into today’s roundup, wanted to mention that the fantasy football leagues are signing up over at our sister site, and I’m using the word sister like in Oz.  You click that linkie-ma-who and it’ll take you there.  It’s magic!  Anyway II, here’s the roundup:

Jeff Keppinger – Of course, Sabean acquired Keppinger.  Rogers Hornsby was unavailable.  Keppinger is a defensive upgrade on the usual flat-footed vet Sabean brings over like Burrell, who plays the mannequin defense.  Most times the defense alignment means moving guys in and out, right and left.  The mannequin defense requires them deciding if they want to play their fielders with their gloves in the air for a fly ball or on the ground because once the ball is hit there is no time for them to move their arms.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Vice-Closers Ready To Assume The SAGNOF-In-Chief

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 264 Comments

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Trading season is upon us and Leo Nunez and Heath Bell could be out while Mike Dunn or Mike Adams could be in.  And K-Rod is 5 minutes ago, according to Jessica Shaw.  Every time Bell seems more likely to be traded first, Jeffrey Loria whips his checkbook onto the Marlins GM’s back to trade faster.  Between Dunn and Adams, Dunn is less likely to get saves between him and Adams.  Dunn’s chances skyrocket if he can bake McKeon’s favorite prune cookies or if he pushes Cishek down a flight a stairs.  Outside of trading, Aroldis Chapman is nipping on Francisco Cordero’s heels, but don’t forget Dusty’s penchant to stick with his incumbent.  On a related note, Ancestry.com revealed earlier this week that Dusty is a direct descendent of Jim O’Rourke, the manager of the 1883 Buffalo Bisons who once pitched Pud Galvin 656 1/3 innings in one season.  Your best bet for saves is to grab Mike Adams, Dunn or Chapman, in that order.  Or reverse order if you’re dyslexic.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Bobby Parnell – It’s all SAGNOF, all the time today, huh?  Hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich and put the SAGNOF between your knees.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Brandon Allen Wrenches Away Playing Time

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 70 Comments

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It was a big day for one of my favorite mancrushes, Brandon Allen, as he was called up.  In Triple-A this year, 18 homers, 7 steals and a .426 OBP.  He’s cut from the same cloth as all the donkeys that have come before him.  Hopefully, he’s less 2010 Big Donkey, because Adam Dunn looks like he’s still got David Eckstein in a bjorn and letting the little man swing for him.  In the majors from Allen, first, expect nothing.  That’s always a good way to start.  At least that’s what I tell the ladies.  If the Diamondbacks give Allen ABs, which I do think they will, he will get 10 to 13 homers and a few steals.  That’s the baseline.  When you hear the baseline, you nod your head.  Or maybe that’s the bassline.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Wily Mo Pena – Designated for assignment.  That assignment is to stop sucking.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Bobbists Petition On Behalf Of Parnell

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 115 Comments

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I always thought Bobby Parnell was the little black kid in the movie, Role Models, but I stand corrected.  Now I think he’s the new closer for the Mets.  At least that’s what I hope.  On one hand, I feel like the Mets will want to see what Parnell can do in the closer role.  Why would they audition Jason Isringhausen?  He’s 50-something and was out of baseball already once in his career.  On the other hand, the Mets may want to inflate Isringhausen’s value.  “Hey, he could be a closer!  See?” On the third lesser known hand that is actually just a lamb sock puppet, the Mets may just split the duties.  Which way will they go, George, which way will they go?  This is fun!  I grabbed Parnell wherever I could, but didn’t grab Izzy cause I have just a little patience.  As for Francisco Rodriguez, well, on the way out of the locker room, K-Rod saw his nickname in the mirror and sighed.  He won’t be the closer in Milwaukee.  That’s Axford’s job.  I wouldn’t immediately drop K-Rod, but I’d ready my dropping finger.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Miguel Cabrera – After I said in my fantasy baseball top 100 for the 2nd half that Miggy would be number one unless he got injured, he goes and gets injured.  How’s dem apples?  Actually, a bit sour.  It’s not apple season, though if an apple can grow in the fall why can’t it grow in the summer?  Ah, questions, questions.  The report out of Arizona is Miggy will be fine.  He just left for precautionary reasons.  Weird to see him leave before the last call.

Please, blog, may I have some more?