You ever go to a flea market and you have no interest in buying anything? You see some little old lady wearing a sweater, even though it’s 95 degrees, selling a collection of hummels and they’re priced like they’re gold bullion.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now that Lance Berkman is on the DL, I’m going to read from your rankings. Random Italicized Voice, I’m not here to talk about the past. Is it true or is it not true that after Mr. Bungling Berkman in 2011, you said to avoid him this year?Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I alluded to in my 3rd baseman posting, first base scares me greatly this year in a deep league format. Outside the big six – Miguel Cabrera, Albert Pujols, Joey Votto, Adrian Gonzalez, Prince Fielder, & Mark Teixiera – I see very little reliability from a position that could leave you hurting if you aren’t an owner of one of those guys. Don’t agree with me? Well go look at the 1st baseman that come after those 6 on Mock Draft Central to round out your top ten: Konerko, Hosmer, Morse, & Berkman. Your 11th is Freddie Freeman; the quintessential average first baseman. I know people want to consider Konerko safe, but he’s 36. I prefer not to be the first person in line to find out when the wheels come off guys like him. Then there’s Hosmer – a 22 year old who can’t take a walk. I like his career long term, but even fangraphs is projecting him around 23/13. Steals are nice, but I want 30 HRs from my 1st baseman and I want them now! Round things out with Morse – a person with very little track record though I do kinda trust him – and Berkman. Hey, if I don’t trust Konerko at 36, why would I trust a guy who had his worst major league season in 2010 and hit 24 of his 31 HRs in the first half of his rebound 2011 campaign who is also 36 and won’t have Pujols in his lineup anymore? And was that a long sentence or was it just me? Point being, I do not want to leave the first round without a 1B this year. Taking Teixiera would most likely ruin my perfect draft, but I would grab him nonetheless. However, if I could get one of those first 5 this year, I’d feel comfortable taking a risk on Paul Goldschmidt around the 12th. There are a lot of upside plays later in the draft that I have no problem taking a gamble on, but I want at least one of my first basemen to be an offensive rock for me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the last installment of the grading process, we have to look at the bad – those guys I, Albert Lang, was totally wrong about. As always, in the comments, feel free to beat your chest about who you were high on relative to the rest of fantasy baseball players!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Big Donkey, Adam Dunn, was a big ass. Carlos Quentin’s status is TBD even when we know the ETA which we don’t right now. This leaves Dayan Viciedo playing. It’s addition by the subtraction of Ozzie’s choices. “Can Brent Lillibridge play first and third at the same time?” Things Ozzie has recently asked his bench coach. Viciedo was always a top Cuban raftee and, through his first four games, he has a homer, steal and is batting .538. Maybe we shouldn’t defrost Ted Williams’ head just yet, but you don’t need Mapquest to know he’s going in the right direction. Not to mention, I’m not even sure Mapquest still exists. Start a viable service and Google will take you over. I like your concept, Groupon, I will now do the exact same thing. With Viciedo’s 3rd base eligibility, he’s worth a flyer anywhere you need a corner infidel. That’s right, patch Dayan into your team for Golda Meir. (If you didn’t need to Google that last line, props to you.) Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Jack Hannahan – Perennial Carson favorite hit three homers in two days this week and .420 (stoner!) in August. Didn’t hurt that he brought his liger to the clubhouse to scare Lonnie Chisenhall.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This will be the last time I mention Logan Morrison for some time. Hashtag that. Not that I don’t like him, it’s just I’ve given him enough press, assuming the word ‘press’ still makes sense even though I’m dictating this post to a Montessori-taught monkey that I’ll occasionally catch looking at me like he wants to kill me and take over Razzball, which makes dictating that even more awkward. Imagine in 300 years when they find this post in a time capsule with Snooki’s poof. They’ll read that monkey sentence and think they’ve figured out the major problem with our society was we had monkeys taking dictation only to be disappointed when they read this sentence. Sorry, future reader! We’re more complicated than that! Whoa, that was a major sidetrack. So Morrison was sent down because he needed to “work on all aspects of being a Major Leaguer,” which basically meant he used to grab his farts and throw them at Hanley. If someone dropped Morrison when he was demoted, I’d go ahead and re-add him. Or have your monkey re-add him for you. I’m kidding, future reader, our monkeys don’t manage our fantasy teams. They only give advice which we decide whether or not to follow. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Kyle Seager – The other day I compared him to Omar Infante. I’ll see that comparison and raise him Martin Prado. Personally, I don’t like guys like Infante or Prado outside of NL-Only leagues, but I also don’t like people who write personally either, so there’s that. I’m a contradiction wrapped inside of lazy writing pitfalls.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Aaron Hill and John McDonald were traded to the Diamondbacks for Kelly Johnson. Regarding the title, each team got to 2nd base with the other. Nothing to brag about, nothing for the rest of us to get jealous over. I guess this is what happens when Alex Anthopoulos and Kevin Towers lock themselves in a closet for 7 minutes of trading heaven. “Can you throw in J.P.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If the name Casper Wells doesn’t get you excited, check your pulse. You probably still have one, otherwise I’m not sure how you’re reading this. Are you reading this from beyond the grave? Wow, nothing else to do in the afterlife but read about fantasy baseball? That’s awesome! In Triple-A last year, Casper Wells hit 21 homers and chucked in 7 steals. He’s never been much of an average hitter, hmm, that’s not exactly true. He’s a very average 5th outfielder for fantasy, but he doesn’t hit for much of an average. He fails to take a walk and strikes out a decent amount. Earlier this week, Casper hit the sheets out of the ball, homering in four straight games. That’s obviously the ceiling, but, for some pop (assuming you’re not from Minnesota), I’d grab Casper. BTW, Casper’s cheering section should boo. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Ramon Ramirez – What do you get when you mix a Horacio Ramirez (Hor-Ram) and an Asdrubal Cabrera (As-Cab)?Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Ortiz must not have fed the meter yesterday because he was fitted with a boot. Southie police officer, “You ahr naht above the lah! Now sign my badge for my boy, Tommy.” Turns out Big Papi has right heel bursitis, which is a fancy word that eHow has seven useless articles about that is essentially inflammation.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Took a few years, but the Twins found out that youth is wasted on the Young as they sang, “May You Stay (Away) Forever, Young.” Yesterday, the Detroit Tigers became the first club to acquire both Meat Hooks. A distinction that I’m not sure other clubs wanted.Please, blog, may I have some more?