No surprise that Johan Santana pitched well yesterday. Everyone pitched well yesterday (except relievers). Now I know what it was like to play fantasy baseball during the dead ball era. “Hey, Scoots, I got me a base hit from my second bagger! I’m so excited, but maybe that excitement is from this Coca-Cola that’s made from cocaine! I love me some fizzle! I’m gonna boil this Coca-Cola, then smoke the leftover brown soot. You want in, Scoots? Huh?!” Can’t everyone do the juice and then use FedEx? I miss the shrunken ball era! Did anyone even hit a ball out of the infield yesterday? Someone lower the mound six inches and use aluminum bats. Please! I need Justin Masterson looking like Bob Gibson like I need another hole in my head (I already have four; one of my ears closed up after listening to the Cleveland Indian announcers). Can’t say I wasn’t unpleasantly surprised to see Johan pitching. It would’ve been straight pleasantly, but I don’t own him anywhere. He’s not the pitcher he once was. He’s not going back to that, but he looked like he could be a fairly competent number three fantasy starter if — and this “if” is the size of Gilbert Grape’s mom — he can stay healthy. Though, after yesterday, every healthy pitcher may be a competent number three. Now go smoke some Coca-Cola soot! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Frank Francisco – A perfect inning save. It’s safe to drop Rauch and/or Parnell. If you want, pretend you’re going catch Rauch in a trust exercise, then let him drop. It’s more fun that way.Please, blog, may I have some more?