I wish there was some kind of baseball pun that could tie into PANAMA!, but I think it’s good enough to stand on its own. I don’t particularly like Van Halen, and for the better part of my childhood I thought he was yelling ANIMAL!, which still may be possible. But one thing’s for sure, for those of you who experienced the 80′s, this song is stuck in the very fabric of our DNA, our very soul. There are just some things that do that. Like the Airwolf theme. It’ll always be in my life. Not just because its my ringtone, but because it has embedded itself into the core of my being. Simply put, it’s a sentimental marker that my mind uses to spark love and happiness. Just like how PANAMA! is. And waffles. Blow-jobs, and so forth. You know what doesn’t get stuck to our fabrics? The names I’m about to talk about. WHY DO I PLAY IN DEEP LEAGUES? So much pain…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last night, Buster Posey was carried off the field after Scott Cousins plowed him over. This was the worst bang-bang play a catcher took in San Francisco since– Okay, you almost drew me into that one, but I’m not going there. It didn’t look good as Posey wasn’t able to put weight on his leg. Everyone’s favorite lox dealer, Eli Whiteside, would take over if the busted Posey misses time. As Eli would say, oy. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike Minor – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. The reason why I haven’t been screaming for you to grab this Minor, besides the fact I’m not Gary Glitter or Jeffrey Jones, is I have no idea the Braves plan for him. I imagine he’s sent back down as soon as Beachy returns. You can pick up Minor, just in case he sticks. I do still have much love for him. Even if he hasn’t returned any of my phone calls, appreciated my unannounced drop-bys or patted my butt when I’ve asked him to.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jonathan Broxton is out with elbow pain. Andre Ethier is out with an inflammed elbow. Since Casey Blake has a staph infection in his elbow, him, Broxton and Ethier must’ve rubbed elbows. It’s an idiomatic joke! Dodgers Fever. Take some penicillin! If this elbow thing was being passed around the Dodger clubhouse any quicker….Alyssa Milano would get royalties! Ah, you knew that was coming. That’s what Alyssa said! With regards to junk-in-his-trunk Broxton, I’d grab Padilla then Kuo. I think both should be rostered in every league for right now. Wouldn’t be surprised if this week it’s Padilla then Kuo takes over for two months. In deep leagues, I’d even grab Kenley. He should be back shortly. As for Andre the non-Giant, he should be fine, but he’s been known to take a 15-day stint at a Beverly spa now and again. BTW, yesterday, Jay Gibbons hit 3rd. He can’t even see! The Dodgers first three hitters were Gwynn Jr., Aaron Miles and Gibbons. I’d rather have Cincy’s Triple-AAA lineup with Sappelt, Frazier, Alonso and Mesoraco. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ted Lilly – 6 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. Now at a 4.93 ERA on the year. Just as I drew it up when I drafted him to be my not-so-flashy-but-solid contributor to my fantasy teams. Maybe I spent too much time breathing in the air in Port-a-Johns when I was younger, but I think Lilly’s still gonna end the season with a 3.70 ERA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Marlins outfield is only big enough to handle one prospect as Logan Morrison is hitting the DL on the same night that Mike Stanton finally hits a home run. Morrison projected to be the anti-Stanton with solid AVG and OBP but limited power (10-15 HRs). Yet after 4 early HRs, he was showing the 4-category prowess that makes owners feel all a-tingle. But then Logan goes and hurts his left foot and will miss 2-4 weeks. Guess Daniel Day-Lewis is now the favorite for the title role in The Logan Morrison Story. I’d stash vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
These are the leading hitters in the major leagues for April. Do I think every hitter does the same thing every year? No, I don’t. But hitters do tend to follow patterns. If these players were good in April last year, there’s at least a chance they will be good this year. Also, as I went over in this spring training stats post, just because a hitter isn’t hitting in March doesn’t preclude a big April. Anyway, here’s some top fantasy baseball hitters for the month of April:
Adrian Gonzalez – 22 homers pre-ASB in 2008, 24 homers in 2009, 18 homers in 2010. Just wait until A-Gon starts getting crap in September and October for not being “clutch.” Yeah, I put douchey quotes around a word, sue me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In last year’s top 80 outfielders post, I told you to take a flyer on Krispie Young, Delmon Young and Nick Swisher. Like the quarter of Harrison Ford that is Jewish, not too shabby. Then there was crap, crap, kinda crap and Jason Heyward. That’s what you’re probably getting late at outfield again this year. I’m no Nostradumbass, but I’m telling you there’s not going to be a whole lot of greatness coming out of this post. We’re Cousteau deep right now. So all the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings are found under yonder and we’re moving onto pitchers next. That should excite you, you special person you. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
61.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can’t decide if Roger Bernadina sounds like a park bench real estate agent or a telemarketer. Hey, this is Roger Bernadina– Hey, Roger, I’m in the middle of dinner. I’ll be quick. I just want to inform you that I’m hitting and stealing bases.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Desmond Jennings will be called up by the Rays on Wednesday. I’m as excited about owning Jennings as the next guy, assuming the ‘next guy’ is excited about owning Jennings. But where’s he playing? Is he gonna Tonya Harding Carl Crawford? Okay, but he needs a Jeff Gillooly. Who’s his Jeff Gillooly? Are you Gillooly’ing? Sorry to burst your Gillooly bubble, but, you sir, are no Gillooly. Jennings should see spot starts and steal bases, but you obviously can’t start him every day because the Rays won’t be. So if you can alternate him and out in daily leagues, go for it. Or go 4 it, if you’re a 13-year-old who only understands text messages. In 2009, he had 11 homers and 52 steals. This year, 3 homers and 37 steals. He’s Carl Crawford as soon as next year, so if you’re in a keeper, he’s a must own. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Hawpe – Will be the Rays’ DH vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange. Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat. Lee-haw! The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins. Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch. I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16. Do the math! The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis. It’s curable, but you usually need a new team. Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled. Hip-hip-Hoffpauir! Not really. I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Making Eric Young Jr.’s return possible, Brad Hawpe heads to the 15-day DL as he loses his hop. In the last four years of the minors, Eric Young Jr. has 87, 73, 46 and 58 steals, respectively. Or disrespectfully, holy effin’ hey, are you kidding me? That’s so good, Rickey Henderson talks about Eric Young Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?