Fantasy Baseball Advice

(NOTE FROM GREY: Last week I sent out feelers to the top baseball team blogs to see if they would be generous enough to write a quick preview for their favorite team. So over the course of the next two weeks, mixed in with your daily fantasy info, you will get some of the most astute, in-depth coverage of teams around the major leagues for the upcoming 2008 season from the people that know these teams best. Each post will include a link to their site, please take time to visit these bloggers’ sites, because these posts are truly the tip of the iceberg for their team knowledge. Now enjoy the 2008 New York Yankees preview.)

The 2008 Yankees greatly resemble the team from the second half of 2007—a team which had a better winning percentage post all-star break than that of 1998—with the exception of a couple additions to the bullpen and a new manager.

The Yankees will likely compete with the Tigers for the best offense in the American League, but their starting pitching is heavily dependent on young pitchers that have a lot of expectations on their shoulders.  They have no proven ace yet, but many think Phil Hughes or Joba Chamberlain could eventually fill this roll.  However, Joba will be starting the season in the bullpen, which is both a testament to his excellence out of the pen and the uncertainties the Yankees have in that area.

If they stay healthy, and everyone on the Yankees, especially the young talent, plays up to their full potential, the Yankees could be the team to beat, but that’s assuming a lot works out, and without considering the growing pains they’re likely to experience, especially with Joe Girardi in his first year as Yankees’ manager.

For the Fantasy Buffs:

Likely Opening Day Line-Up:

1. Johnny Damon, LF:  Much better in left than center or DH.  Solid lead off guy, when he’s healthy.  Good speed.  Doesn’t hit much for power.

2. Derek Jeter, SS:  Clutch athlete, but not likely to do a whole lot for your fantasy team outside of hits.   Doesn’t hit for power.  Smart baserunner.  Declining fielder.

3. Bobby Abreu, RF:  Underrated, slow start last year due to injury.  Will get you 100 RBI, with some power.  Strong arm, but not the best outfielder.  Not a bad addition to your line-up.

4. Alex Rodriguez, 3B:  MUST HAVE.  Lead the league in Home Runs and RBI last year, and while he might not equal the numbers, he’s likely a lock to hit at least 40 HR and 100 RBI.  Underrated fielder.  Stays healthy.  Should go #1 or 2 for non-pitchers in your draft.

5. Jorge Posada, C:  Coming off of career year.  Unlikely to repeat his .330, 20 HR season, but he’ll give you some solid hits and good defense behind the plate.  Switch hitter.  36 years old.  Mauer is likely a better fantasy pick for catcher, but Jorge is invaluable for the Yankees.

6. Jason Giambi, DH:  Missed much time last year with a foot injury.  Better player the more he plays.  Not the Giambi of Oakland As.

7. Shelley Duncan 1B:  Sleeper pick.  Wasn’t supposed to hit as well on Major League level as he has and he has shown a good eye.  Will likely be in a 1B platoon, still learning the position.

8. Robinson Canò, 2B:  One of the best 2B in the league.  Hits for average and power.  Good fielder that can look sloppy at times.  Slow on the basepath and doesn’t make good baseruning decisions.

9. Melky Cabrera, CF:  Solid CF. Doesn’t hit for power, but a good hitter for the nine spot.  Doesn’t hit for average, but can bunt and sac RBI.  Great arm but takes bad routes to the ball on occasion.  Switch hitter.

Rotation:

Chien Ming Wang:  Will find ways to wind games, sinker ball pitcher, but high ERA and WHIP.  Not a good addition for a fantasy team, though he is working on improving his strikeout totals.

Andy Pettitte:  Solid left hander.  If he’s healthy, he’s an excellent, dependable addition, but he’s been known to have elbow issues.  Press is likely to attempt to make HGH issue a distraction.

Mike Mussina:  Coming off a bad year and horrible August.  Can’t make any mistakes or gets hammered.  Probably the weakest link in the Yankees’ rotation.

Phil Hughes:  Prized ‘rookie’, who’s not technically a rookie any more.  Excellent make-up, and projected to put up big numbers.  However, he’s young and untested over the full course of the season.  Under innings cap and potential injury concern.

Ian Kennedy:  Sleeper Pick.  Of the Yankees’ “big three” he is supposed to be the most polished.  Location pitcher.  Untested.

Bullpen:

Mariano Rivera:  One of the game’s best closers.  Elite.  Usually has a poor April, but will be an excellent strikeout pitcher.

Kyle Farnsworth:  Inconsistent.  Overpowering fastball, but poor location.

LaTroy Hawkins:  New addition.  Low risk, high-reward type signing.

Joba Chamberlain:  Had a 0.38 ERA last year out of the bullpen, giving up one home run to Mike Lowell.  Great for strikeout totals.  Loses effectiveness in second inning of work.

Bench:

Wilson Betemit:  Can play all infield positions, but a weak hitter.  Has some power from the left, but none from the right.

Hideki Matsui:  Left fielder, coming off of a bad knee injury.  Might start season on the DL.  Okay fielder, good hitting addition if he gets regular playing time.

Jose Molina:  Excellent back up catcher.  Great defensively and good enough with the bat.  Doesn’t hit for a ton of power but will get doubles.  Too slow for triples.

Morgan Ensberg:  Sleeper pick.  Had All Star numbers before injuring his shoulder.  If he fully recovers, he could be an excellent addition.

Rebecca

If readers are interested, then you can find Rebecca’s blog at Purist Bleeds Pinstripes.

Luckily someone transcribed Eric Karabell’s crayon drawings into a blog post so we can see which players Karabaloney is thinking are overrated this year. As Common said, “It doesn’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine…” Well, it also doesn’t take a mouthful to recognize shit either. The following is only a sampling of Eric Karabell’s crap. Seriously, try and wrap your head around these puppies.

Roy Halladay – The ESPN ‘perts ranked him at 67. The rest of the free world ranks him at 99. You can’t say someone is overrated when you are the one overrating him?! Inconceivable! This would be like me saying Alex Gordon’s overrated after rating him sixty spots higher than everyone south of Canada and north of Mexico. Halladay may be good value at 99 because other than Ks, he has a proven track record of Wins, ERA, WHIP and injuries. He’s not in my top hundred for a reason.

Placido Polanco – The ESPN ‘perts ranked him 133. Everyone else ranked him at 163. This is akin to me saying I’m an overrated lay, even though I’m the only saying I’m good in bed. Polanco will guarantee you 90/7/65/.310/7 and a fifth place finish in your league. Try harder!

Travis Hafner – The World says 42. ESPN says 37. I said 34, and I thought I was overrating him. Hafner’s one of my risky picks because of his injury history and his position eligibility. I could understand if you passed him by, but to say he’s overrated… Ugh.

Bobby Abreu – Check out this Karabell turd nugget, “I bet most people who draft him think he can still be a 30/30 player. I do not.” Seriously, is it me or is Karabell The Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer? Abreu hasn’t come close to 30 homers in a while; does anyone actually believe they are getting a 30/30 guy? My projections were 120/15/110/.310/20. Sure doesn’t look like 30/30. Abreu hasn’t hit 30 homers since ’04 and has only recorded two 30 homer seasons in his career. Who’s expecting 30/30 at the age of 34? Seriously. crickets

What have we learned from this exercise? ESPN overrates players then dispatches their experts to tell us to be careful they’re overrated. Do yourself a favor and ignore ESPN. They will hurt you. And they’re owned by Disney. Do you need other reasons?

Because things are always changing in fantasy baseball, it’s impossible to do a definitive list of the top hundred overall for 2008 or for any year for that matter. Tomorrow, Pujols could announce he’s having his surgery to repair his injured arm and be gone for the season or he could announce that he’s having his arm replaced with an aluminum bat and he moves to number one overall. Nevertheless, here’s my 2008 fantasy baseball top 100 as of right now. (BTW, download Rudy Gamble’s projections for 2008 here.)

1. Alex Rodriguez – Dur. Projections: 120/42/130/15/.305
2. Jose Reyes – Find thirty homers later in the draft. You ain’t finding 70 steals. Projections: 130/14/65/.295/70
3. Matt Holliday – Great hitter + Coors = Fantasy Stud. Projections: 110/40/125/.310/10
4. David Wright – The Mets have a penchant to run. Don’t see Wright slowing down just yet. Projections: 115/34/120/.310/20
5. Hanley Ramirez – I’ve already explained my hesitation for Hanley. Projections: 110/17/85/.295/45
6. Chase Utley – Could he give the Phillies the MVP trifecta this year? I give him 50/50 odds. Projections: 120/32/115/.325/12
7. Johan Santana – I’m not drafting him here, but that’s already been covered. Projections: 21-5/240/2.50/.95
8. Jake Peavy — Weak hitting division, extreme pitching park, ranked #1 as last year’s fantasy player. I’m not drafting him either. (BTW, why are people ranking Peavy so much lower than Santana on their draft cheatsheets? Does everyone really think Santana will win 25 games? He’ll be great, but c’mon. Don’t believe the hype.) Projections: 20-5/230/2.75/1.05
9. Miguel Cabrera – Everything but steals. Projections: 110/37/125/.325/4
10. Prince Fielder – Him and Howard are the only ones with good odds to hit 50. Projections: 115/50/125/.285
11. Ryan Howard – See Fielder, Prince. Projections: 100/50/140/.275
12. Carl Crawford – He’s still young and he can still hit 30 home runs. Projections: 105/25/85/.305/50
13. Grady Sizemore – This is probably my preseason AL MVP. But we’ll get to that. Projections: 120/35/85/.290/30
14. Alfonso Soriano – He’s a Latin 32, but doesn’t seem to be slowing down or losing power. He might have the best preseason shot at 40/40. Projections: 115/35/75/.280/20
15. Jimmy Rollins – He’s not hitting 30 homers again. Projections: 130/22/70/.290/35
16. David Ortiz – Eligibility concerns have me passing on him, but I could understand this pick. Projections: 115/40/120/.310
17. Alexis Rios – This is who I want in every league. I have his projections at 120/32/110/.300/25. Next year he’s a first rounder. Chew on that.
18. Carlos Lee – He’s good every year and he plays. That’s reliability. Projections: 90/35/120/.295/7
19. Vladimir Guerrero – Maybe he can get an aluminum leg from Pujols’s doctor. Projections: 105/32/125/.315/3
20. Mark Teixiera – You can count on certain stats, but that includes sub-par first halfs. Projections: 105/35/115/.300
21. Nick Markakis – I will have him on every team I can. Projections: 100/27/115/.300/20 with the skill set to go way above and beyond these numbers.
22. Ryan Braun – I already told you why not to buy into the hype. Projections: 100/27/105/.280/12
23. B.J. Upton – I don’t see a huge step forward from last year. But 30/30 would still be sweet. Could easily be a 1st round guy next year. Projections: 100/30/85/.280/27
24. Albert Pujols – A high-grade tear in his elbow? A team with nothing to play for. He might not see July. Projections: 55/22/70/.330/2 and he hangs them up by July 4th.
25. Ichiro Suzuki – He’ll be batting .330 in September and I’ll still be glad I didn’t draft him. You don’t have to turn your average to eleven. Projections: 110/10/65/.330/45
26. Carlos Beltran – Is it me or is this round filled with landmines? Projections: 100/27/110/.270/18
27. Lance Berkman – A lock for 90/35/110/.280.
28. C.C. Sabathia – It’s let’s start a pitching run. Projections: 20-9/210/3.40/1.15
29. Brandon Webb – Easily could be in the top ten at the end of the year. Projections: 19-7/190/3.10/1.20
30. Erik Bedard – I give you permission to now draft a starter, if you really must. Projections: 16-9/230/3.30/1.10
31. Aramis Ramirez – Last year’s numbers aren’t indicative of ’08. Projections: 95/37/120/.305
32. Troy Tulowitzki – The Polish are hard workers. I expect Tulo to make his people proud. Projections: 115/25/80/.280/10
33. Adam Dunn – I love guys that are guaranteed 40 homers. They give you runs, RBIs and home runs. BTW, Dunn’s only 28. Projections: 100/45/110/.265/7
34. Travis Hafner – I’m probably the only ‘pert ranking Pronk this high, but I think this is the year he puts everything together. He’d be higher if he had some eligibility somewhere. Projections: 100/40/110/.300
35. Jonathan Papelbon – This is where you should draft him if you want him. I don’t. But I do think he’ll be spectacular. Projections: 5-0/90/1.10/.75/45 saves
36. Robinson Cano – My third 2nd basemen off the board. Fark you, Phillips. Projections: 100/25/100/.295/3
37. Derrek Lee – As Rudy Gamble is prone to say, fifteen steals easily turns into five when your game isn’t stealing bases. Projections: 110/30/115/.290/5
38. Garrett Atkins – Third base sure be deep. Projections: 85/34/115/.300
39. Curtis Granderson – Too rich for my blood. I’m out of the Granderson pot. Projections: 115/27/85/.280/25
40. Victor Martinez – I’m taking Cralos Ruiz in the 18th round, not V-Mart in the third or fourth. Projections: 75/25/115/.300
41. Derek Jeter – Girls draft Jeter. Don’t be a girl. Projections: 110/15/70/.315/15
42. Miguel Tejada – He tore up the winter leagues and he’s pissed off because he’s pissing clean. Projections: 90/25/100/.290/3
43. Cole Hamels – The first pitcher I could conceivably draft. Here’s what I said in January, “The future has arrived for the Phillies ace. If he stays away from injury, he battles Peavy for the Cy Young. Not sure how early I’m going to draft him, but he’ll be on one of my ’08 teams.” You see that wisdom there. But then Santana came to the NL. So, sue me, Hamels now comes in third in the Cy Young voting. Projections: 20-7/210/3.20/1.10
44. Aaron Harang – The second pitcher I could conceivably draft. Projections: 17-10/220/3.75/1.15
45. Joe Nathan – If Papelbon’s selection didn’t start a closer run, I suppose here’s a good place to look. I won’t be picking a closer until the second tier. Projections: 6-1/80/1.90/1.00/40 saves
46. J.J. Putz – Very solid number one closer for any team, except for one of mine. Projections: 4-2/80/2.00/.90/40 saves
47. Brandon Phillips – I thought about dropping him into the fifties to prove how much I want you to avoid him. Projections: 80/19/75/.240/25 and is benched in July because his slump is “all in his head.”
48. Brian Roberts – Okay, here’s the problem. One year twenty homers, one year 4. Career average of 29 steals, last year 50. In fantasy baseball, inconsistency breeds contempt. Projections: 105/10/55/.290/30
49. Alex Gordon – I love Gordon this year. Projections: 80/25/90/.280/20
50. Bobby Abreu – Everyone loves Granderson. How about you draft someone that is guaranteeing you good numbers? Projections: 120/15/110/.310/20
51. Torii Hunter – Double I is about as consistent as a 25/20 man can get. Projections: 85/25/100/.275/20
52. Corey Hart – Here’s what I said in January, “He ran like a demonfish in the first half (mostly against righties) and kept consistent power and average throughout. As much as I feel weird saying it, I think Mr. Hart is here to stay. His OBP against righties is kinda icky, but you know who else is like that, Double I. That’s right, Corey Hart is the white man Torii Hunter.” So it’s only fitting they’re next to each other in the rankings. Projections: 95/22/75/.280/25
53. Justin Morneau – Don’t think he walks enough to ever come close to another MVP. Projections: 90/32/105/.275
54. Dan Haren – He’s a bit prone to the home run ball and the move to a more hitter’s friendly park doesn’t help, but all this is negated by weaker offenses in the NL. Draft with confidence. Projections: 17-9/210/3.60/1.20
55. Manny Ramirez – I’m not high on Manny, but come on, he’s still kind of a hitting savant. Projections: 85/32/105/.315
56. Ian Kinsler – I kinda wanna have Kinsler’s babies. Projections: 110/25/70/.270/25
57. Eric Byrnes – Take Shane Victorino thirty spots later. You’re welcome. Projections: 90/20/75/.270/20
58. Chone Figgins – I already explained I don’t draft steals after Reyes. Projections: 105/5/60/.290/45
59. Magglio Ordonez – Here’s what I wrote in January, “Saw something the other day about Mags. It said he won his 1st batting title in ’07. Thought it was weird it said “1st” as if he’s going to win a second.” Projections: 100/30/110/.300
60. Russell Martin – I had to list another catcher eventually, though you should be warned. He’s not going to steal 20 bases this year. Can’t you just draft Carlos Ruiz fifteen rounds later and grab Michael Bourn to get you some steals? Geez, and I thought I was difficult. Projections: 85/20/90/.290/15
61. Francisco Rodriguez – I won’t draft a closer this high, but I will say if I were, I would not be drafting K-Rod. He’s the only top tier closer that worries me. Projections: 6-2/90/3.00/1.25/45 saves
62. Mariano Rivera – I’d rather you started a website razzballsucks.com then draft Rivera, but you do what you do. Projections: 5-2/70/2.75/1.10/40 saves
63. Adrian Gonzalez – I can’t fathom anyone hitting 40 homers in Petco, but he might get to 35. Projections: 90/33/105/.280
64. Paul Konerko – My man Paulie is dropping off draftsheets. Did he screw someone’s Moms and I didn’t hear about it? Projections: 90/35/110/.275
65. Hunter Pence – You’re drunk if you think I’m drafting him, but, ya know, he’s gotta fit in somewhere. Projections: 95/22/75/.290/17
66. Chipper Jones – Yes, he’ll only play in 120 games, but you can make moves in your league to fill in people, right? Projections: 85/25/85/.315/5
67. John Lackey – It’s not that I don’t like him because I think he’s probably going to be my preseason AL Cy Young pick, but I just don’t like AL starters. Projections: 20-5/180/3.00/1.20
68. Justin Verlander – Might be the only American League starter I’ll consider drafting. Projections: 19-7/200/3.75/1.20
69. Rafael Furcal – I would actually consider taking Raffy because his last year made him a bit of a bargain this year. Projections: 110/15/65/.285/35
70. Gary Sheffield – You need some ‘tude on your team. Projections: 90/25/80/15/.285
71. Carlos Pena – I’m predicting he’ll make fantasy owners miserable this year. Projections: 85/22/80/.260 and he falls into a platoon.
72. Josh Beckett – I was down on this schmohawk before the tender back. Now? Not with a ten foot pole. Projections: 18-9/190/3.90/1.20
73. Edwin Encarncion – I’m wild about Edwin even if he’s a total jerkoff. Projections: 75/25/85/.275/15
74. Delmon Young – I stay away from 2nd year players when possible. Delmon’s one guy I’m considering. Projections: 70/20/100/.285/15
75. John Smoltz – He seems like he’s almost as nice a guy as Vernon Wells, right? (BTW, if you need me to tell you about Smoltz, you’ve been in an Afghani cave for too long.) Projections: 16-7/160/3.75/1.22
76. Carlos Guillen – I think he might be the biggest overpriced piece of garbage since Morneau last year. Projections: 95/15/75/.300/8
77. Ryan Zimmerman – And here’s where I pass. Wrist surgery and people are drafting him like it means nothing. Projections: 90/18/90/.275/5
78. Hideki Matsui – Godzilla loves porn and I don’t mind him. So there’s that. Projections: 105/25/100/.295
79. Roy Oswalt – Ks are trending the wrong way, but he’s still very reliable. Take a middle reliever to offset the Ks. Projections: 15-7/150/3.60/1.22
80. Todd Helton – He’s getting to the point where he’s undervalued. Let’s be realistic for a second. He’s not getting you 40 homers anymore, but what he does give you is not dreadful. Projections: 90/15/90/.315
81. Chris “No B” Young – A tall pitcher with back issues concerns me, but I’d take his 22 starts over some guys 32. Projections: 15-5/160/3.00/1.10 and he only pitches in a 150 innings.
82. Carlos Zambrano – In my opinion, any guy that does what he did to Barrett you have to like. Projections: 18-7/210/3.60/1.30
83. John Maine – I love Maine this year. And not just for their lobster – oofa! I will have Maine on at least one team. You should too. Projections: 18-9/210/3.60/1.20
84. Rickie Weeks – This question still lingers, if Clint Barmes, Rocco Baldelli and Rickie Weeks board your cross-country flight, do you get off? Projections: 85/15/50/.260/22
85. Jeff Kent – At some point he’s going to get old, I think it’s coming soon. Act accordingly. Projections: 80/22/90/.300
86. Mike Lowell – His luck with runners on last year was a collision of good fortune and stoopid good fortune. Projections: 75/20/105/.280/3
87. Shane Victorino – I love Victorino. If I were a 300 lb. Hawaiian woman, Victorino and I would be living off the coast of Oahu. Projections: 115/15/60/.280/40
88. Vernon Wells – O, Vernon. Don’t suck this year. Projections: 90/30/90/.280/7
89. Jeff Francoeur – Do you think if Frenchy were popular in 2001 he would have went by Freedom? Projections: 85/25/110/.280/5
90. Chris B. Young – Krispie will frustrate for extended periods of time with swings and misses. Projections: 90/25/70/.245/32
91. Jhonny Peralta – The only thing I don’t like about Peralta this year is the spelling of his first name. He’s a big buh-Buy. Projections: 85/32/105/.270/3
92. Brian McCann – He’s the last catcher of the top one hundred (eff Mauer) so this will be the last time I tell you to draft Carlos Ruiz in the 18th round. Projections: 75/25/105/.285
93. Andruw Jones – Ok, I’m aware he reported to camp looking like Umaga. But he can’t be over the hill yet, can he? Projections: 85/32/110/.250
94. Mike Jacobs – The Marlins will give the Nats a run for most unwatchable team, though I do like Jacobs’s upside. Projections: 70/30/95/.285
95. Jim Thome – You can set your watch to his stats. Projections: 70/30/90/.265
96. Ryan Garko – Garko’s getting overlooked in the drafts I’ve seen. Watch him jump up to the fourth round next year. Projections: 75/27/90/.285
97. Josh Hamilton – Hamilton gets high on life! Projections: 70/27/80/.300/5
98. Brad Hawpe – Here’s what I said in January, “Hawpe will be sensational this year and not hit lefties. He sported a .418 OBP last year against righties. Grab Spilborghs for next to nothing and platoon them yourself, cause Spilborghs had a .426 OBP against lefties. Hawpe/Spilborghs combo projections: 105/35/110/.300/5.” I stand by that.
99. Nick Swisher – He’s pretty. Projections: 95/30/100/.275
100. James Shields – His year end numbers will blow away Kazmir’s. Projections: 14-6/185/3.75/1.10
101. Rich Hill – No top hundred list is complete without a 101st pick. Projections: 18-7/200/3.60/1.15
102. Kelly Johnson – Ok, last one, but only because I hate the way people are passing by Kelly Johnson. Look at these projections: 85/17/65/.275/12, there’s a fifty percent chance those will be better than Rickie Weeks. (BTW, as for the Weeks question above, I get off the plane. You?)

1. J.J. Putz
6-1/82/1.38/0.70, 40 saves
The six wins really puts Putz (stutter much?) in first. Don’t get caught up in the rankings for the closers, because really any of the closers in the top ten would have done you just fine. Hate to shortchange Putz, but it’s something to chew on, perhaps. You’re really going after saves here, and 40 from Putz was good. Frankly, I would’ve taken a Tagamet and Todd Jones’s 38 saves.

2. Takashi Saito
2-1/78/1.40/0.72, 39 saves
Looks like Broxton didn’t take over this year as every expert predicted. There’s something to not being able to read what the media is writing. Other than the four less wins, Saito was just as good as Putz.

3. Joe Nathan
4-2/77/1.88/1.02, 37 saves
He might have the absolutely lamest name. His stuff is nasty, yet his name is Joe Nathan? From now on, Joe Nathan will be known as Taipei Slinklo. It is significant only in its randomness. But for someone who is as vanilla as Joe Nathan, he needs some random ethnicity. “Hey, Taipei Slinklo, you gonna save this game?” “Pho sho!” What, Taipei is a ridiculous name? And Boof isn’t?

4. Jonathan Papelbon
1-3/84/1.85/0.77, 37 saves
The Pinero experiment lasted until about third inning of the first intrasquad game. Timlin was the closer for about as long as it takes a Yankee fan to get beat up in the Cask. The Sox didn’t even know what they had in Okajima, so they reluctantly handed the ball back to Papelbon. Um, it worked out okay. I would love for nothing else but to see Papelbon fail just so he stops dancing. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon. Then again, with closers, you never know. *Fingers crossed*

5. Francisco Rodriguez
5-2/90/2.81/1.25, 40 saves
Any day now Scot Shields is going to take over, right? No, maybe not. K-Rod’s mechanics make scouts squirm, yet he’s still right here, year after year. As Rex Hudler says, “K-Rod’s born for the job!” Okay, maybe Hud didn’t say exactly that, but something equally inane was said. Smoke another doobie, Hud!

6. Jose Valverde
1-4/78/2.66/1.12, 47 saves
Frankly, he’s number one in my mind. I <3 Valverde. You draft closers for saves and no one gave you more than Valverde. Were they all pretty? Yup, they actually were. The blown saves weren’t. He gave up seven of his season’s 19 earned runs in two appearances. Seeing one of these games and knowing how he was prone to breakdown in previous seasons, I traded him on June 1st for a seemingly powerless, suddenly-over-the-hill Abreu. I assumed Valverde would breakdown and Abreu would return to past glory. The trade almost didn’t go through because everyone (except Abreu’s owner) felt the same way as me. Abreu ended up giving me 89/14/78/16/.303 in 104 games. Meanwhile, Valverde pitched great in the 2nd half notching 28 saves. Because the way saves bunched up in this league, I would’ve wrapped up the league with two weeks to play if I had kept Valverde over Abreu. In the end, I still won the league on the last day of the season, but I had to scramble for saves for three months straight (even signing Valverde’s backup, Tony Pena, at one point). As William Goldman says, “No one knows anything.”

7. Bobby Jenks
3-5/56/2.77/0.89, 40 saves
Two body types for pitchers, tall and slender and tall and fat. The tall and fat ones are on everyone’s list to get injured, while the tall and slender ones are the ones that do get injured. The tall and fat ones end up pitching until they are forty-five. Just sayin’. Probably took some Jenks-sized balls to draft him, but if you did, good for you. Why don’t you shine your balls and put them on your mantle? Now go get your shinebox!

8. Francisco Cordero
0-4/86/2.98/1.11, 44 saves
Cordero lost his job in Texas in ‘06. Makes me think of Dr. Dre’s The Watcher, “You’d probably move to a new house on a new hill…” Weird how saves bounce around, isn’t it? Another reason why you don’t draft closers too high. Cordero is actually artificially low in these rankings because he went 0-4. You drafted him for saves, not wins. Stop bitchin’, you made out a’ight. Sorry, feeling gangsta.

9. Trevor Hoffman
4-5/44/2.98/1.12, 42 saves
Still collecting saves, still entering the game to an old-ass song. Old is as old does. As long as he can still throw a changeup that is somehow slower than his fastball, he’ll be all right. His numbers would look even better if it weren’t for the three runs he gave up in a third of an inning in the final game of the season.

10. Billy Wagner
2-2/80/2.63/1.13, 34 saves
By September, he looked gray and lifeless like a dirty water hot dog. Being the proud of Wagner on two different teams, I wanted Heilman to take over. Not because I had Heilman, but simply so Wagner would stop giving up runs. He was making Alfredo Amezaga look like an Alfredo Griffin circa 1979 when he co-won the AL ROY with John Castino. Since this will be the third ever mention of John Castino on the internet, maybe he can write in when he Google stalks himself. Hope your back’s feeling better!