Fantasy Baseball Advice

Drew Stubbs will replace Willy T.  (<–Sounds like characters from a blaxploitation film.  And neither are African-American.  Weird!)  Stubbs might get the shaft vs. righties but he can be baadasssss for speed.  Drew Stubbs was selected a few picks before Travis Snider in the first round of the 2006 draft.  Not for his power… No, he won’t have much of that.  Not for his Ks either, but he may have a lot of those.  In Triple-A, he had 104 Ks in 107 games.  In. Triple. A.  That’s not a great sign.  If you need speed, SAGNOF!, but Stubbs might come as an average liability.  In one league, I dropped Snider (that was quick) for Stubbs, because I need speed more than power in that league.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Joey Votto – Left with blurry vision.  Will be evaluated today.  Votto’s teammates could really mess with him by all wearing those novelty t-shirts that says, “1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor,” with the blurry type.

Johnny Cueto – Heads to the Disgraceful List with a plus-10.00 ERA in the 2nd half.  I’m sure Cueto’s owners wish he were on the DL for the last two months.  If you were having any problems pulling the trigger on dropping him, the Reds took care of that for you.  I’ll see you next March, Cueto, fairly well ’til then.

Hiroki Kuroda – Heads to the DL with a concussion. (Pun point for Grey.)  Jeff Weaver or Vicente Padilla will fill in for him.  Blech for the Blue.

John Smoltz – Smoltz signs with the Cards.  I wouldn’t pick him up outside of NL-Only leagues.  I don’t think he’ll suddenly be worthwhile just moving back to the NL.  Maybe some matchups potential.  But that’s about it.  I know Chi-Ali said, “Age ain’t nothing but a number,” but Chi-Ali’s in jail for murder, so let’s assume he doesn’t own Smoltz either.

Matt LaPorta – Should’ve been called up two months ago.  Shoot, he shouldn’t have been down in the minors to begin with.  If someone can figure out what Eric Wedge was doing in Crazy Town for the last few months, let us know.  In Triple-A, Matt LaPorta had 41 walks to only 54 Ks.  He had 17 homers in 92 games and a near .400 OBP.  I’d grab LaPorta if I needed some pop.  I like Snider a bit better for UTIL pop, but LaPorta has better eligibility.  They’re kinda tomato-tomahto.

Carlos Quentin – HRs in back-to-back games.  He’s capable of 12 homers the rest of the way.

Zach Greinke – 7 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks.  Since May 31st, Greinke has a 3.56 ERA.  Cust kayin’.

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  Greinke, I see your bid for a Cy Young and I raise you my own.

Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 2 Hits, 0 ER, 11 Ks.  A pitcher on the phone with his agent, “I wanna frickin’ face a pitcher three times a game!  I wanna face frickin’ Augie Ojeda three times a game!  Rusty Ryal?  Ryal?  What’s that, Gaelic?  I wanna face Rusty Irishman!”  Agent, “I understand, Mr. Halladay.  You have to talk to J.P.”

Dan Haren – 5 IP, 6 ER.  Now up to 2.74 ERA on the year.  It sure is a slow climb to a 3.25 ERA.

Jered Weaver – 9 IP, 0 ER.  Hey, there’s 1st half Jered Weaver again!  Hey, 1st half Jered Weaver, say hello to your mother for me.

Carlos Guillen – HR yesterday and three in the last seven games while batting .333.  I’m no fan of Guillen, but he’s batting in the middle of the order and he’s seeing the ball well (unlike Votto).

Carlos Gonzalez – Another homer yesterday.  This is getting ridiculous.  Oh, and Barmes hit his 20th.

Clay Buchholz – 6 IP, 1 ER.  It was about three starts ago I said I’d own Buchholz.  Since then, he’s under a 1.50 ERA.

Pat Burrell – Another homer.  Now has 8 more left in his bat.

B.J. Upton – Back-to-back games with homers.  I speak for all his owners when I say, “It’s about time.”

Bronson Arroyo – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  Sure, it was vs. Giants, but I’ve been saying since mid-July I actually like Arroyo in the 2nd half.

Chipper Jones – The Braves scored 15 runs; Chipper went 0-for-3 with 1 Run.  Ticker tease!

Mat Latos – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  The Cubs aren’t great average-wise vs. righties, they were in Petco… Well, this should end Latos’s time on anyone’s team.  Sorry, these rookie pitchers never end well.

Clayton Kershaw – 3 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  How many pitches do you think he threw in under 4 innings?  If I gave you the over/under of 95, which way would you go?  I’d love to see an extra inning game between the D’Backs and the Dodgers, where both bullpens were emptied, and they were forced to throw Kershaw and Scherzer.  It’s immediately sudden death because neither pitcher may go more than three innings.

Bill Wagner – He’s a middle reliever barring a trade or K-Rod getting into the same subway as Brian Bruney.  There’s lots of middle relievers I’d own before Wagner.

Angel Pagan – Was one of three players nominated by the Mets for the Henry Aaron Award, the award given to the top offensive player of each league.  I guess there’s no Tommy Aaron Award.

Bill Hall – Acquired by the Mariners.  They’re just trying to make Beltre seem more appealing.  I know that trick!  You act like a complete imbecile around your girlfriend’s sister, then when you meet the parents they have severely low expectations of you, having heard stories from the sister.  Then you act normal, and the parents are like, “Hey, he’s not that bad.  He used utensils!”  And it gets the parents thinking your girlfriend’s sister is just jealous.  What?  Am I the only one that does this?

Let’s just assume Joe Mauer hits 25 HRs, though no one south of the Arctic Circle has him projected for more than 18.  And even some less optimistic Eskimos have him down for only 20.  Let’s also assume after curing the swine (<–which is prosciutto, I believe), he hits .330.  Let’s also chuck in 80 Runs and 80 RBIs, which seems Brobdingnagian (Word of the Day!) considering time already missed.  I think these are all preposterous numbers considering his back problems, but let’s suspend disbelief.  So Mauer still has 17 more homers, a great average and 60 some-odd Runs/RBIs in him.  In the first half of last year, Doumit hit 11 homers with 42 Runs and 29 RBIs, while batting .329.  Those numbers are in 207 ABs.  He can easily replicate those numbers when he returns.  So if you trade Mauer for, say, an outfielder who still has 30 HRs in his bat (Quentin) or a pitcher (Hamels) or a corner guy (Youkilis) and grab a random schmohawk catcher of waivers, you’re walking out of the trade in good shape. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jake Peavy – San Diego is a beautiful city with a low crime rate, a large Navy presence and it’s a stone’s throw from Tijuana donkey shows.  Who would want to leave that?  Peavy knows how lucky he is to pitch in Petco and the NL.  However, this almost trade should raise red flags for Peavy owners.  He may end up moving at some point this summer.  Hopefully, he lands in Metco.

Homer Bailey – In 12 team leagues and deeper, I’d grab him and not start him for Saturday’s game.  In the minors, he looked flat-out dominant coming into May with a 3-0 record and a 1.86 ERA and a shizzload of Ks — we’re talking 15 Ks in just over 6 innings in one game.  But since then, he’s back to his old ugly self with an overall 3-5 record and a 4.57 ERA.  Caveat emptor, for those in Latin America.

Scott Hairston – Will be the beneficiary of the Gerut trade to Milwaukee.  Hairston’s startable in 12 team leagues and deeper.  He has an outside chance at a 20/12 year while being in a good run producing spot in the Padres order… Oh, who am I fooling?  There’s no good run producing spots in the Padres lineup.

Jesus Guzman – What time is it?  Rookie nookie time!  You’re showing Gamel, the dealer’s showing Guzman.  You win, but it’s nearly a push.  Hopefully, the Giants say saynora to Ishikawa, but Guzman’s call-up may just be for interleague, because Guzman makes Gamel look like Ozzie Smith.  Pick Guzman up now in deep leagues, keepers and NL-Only leagues and ask questions later.

Travis Snider – Optioned to Vegas with the Blue Jays recalling Candi Whistleshorts from Cheetah’s.

Joba Chamberlain – Came out of the game after throwing two-thirds of an inning when he was hit by a comebacker.  Word out of the South Bronx is he’s day-to-day.

Jon Lester – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Lifting the moratorium on Lester-speak to say, ’bout time.

Juan Cruz – 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Kazaam!

Juan Rivera – 2 homers in three days.  Get’m while they’re hot.

LaTroy Hawkins – Threw a perfect inning with 2 Ks.  I dropped Sampson from all my teams.

Bill Hall – 0-for-3 with 2 Ks and 5 men left on. The one where he actually hit the ball in play was an inning ending double play with the bases loaded. Meanwhile, Gamel had his cards read to him by part-time pitcher, part-time astrologer, Dave Bush.

Rafael Betancourt – A Cuddle Boy spotting getting the save.  Wood’s still the closer, but that may change after a few more blowups. Could Betancourt step in?  Not very likely, but I picked him up in two leagues — My name is Grey and I’m a save whore.

Pablo Sandoval – Took Eckstein out on a slide at 2nd.  It looked like Nikki Blonsky slide tackling DJ Qualls.

Zach Greinke – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  Take that, Greinke!  Oh, wait, that was still a solid start.

Derrek Holland – Will start Friday against the Astros.  No DH?  Yes, to DH.

Raul Ibanez – Hit his 15th homer and racked up his 40th RBI.  Doode has been way underrepresented in the daily roundups.  The move to Citizens Bank obviously was going to be a boon to his value, but he’s singlehandedly carried me in my 15 team league.  If Razzball had a Walk of Fame, Raul would be right next Asdrubal and Wandy.  (Asdrubal just because of his silly name.)

Kris Medlen – 3 IP, 5 ER.  He looked like a nervous wreck, balking and walking.   His fastball has a ton of movement, but he needs to find his Quan.  Since he’s a rookie pitcher, he comes with risk and upside.

Edwin Jackson – 8 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  After the game, when a reporter asked Leyland why he let Jackson throw 132 pitches, he responded by blowing out a smoke ring and saying, “I’m old school.  And don’t spell school with a K, that’s new skool.”

Ian Kinsler – Steal yesterday.  With Mark Reynolds breathing down his neck, he became the first 10/10 player on the year.

Mark Reynolds – Mini-Donkey was at it again last night with a homer and a steal, joining Ian Kinsler as the only 10/10 players in the majors.  Can the Diamondbacks please play 100 more games in Florida?

Curtis Granderson – Hit his 11th homer yesterday.  He could coast to a 25/20 season.

Justin Morneau – Twins score 20 runs.  Morneau goes 0-for-2 with one run.  Ticker tease!

Bartolo Colon – Clear the deck!  We have a Colon blow in Chicago!  He was actually another ticker tease for Fantasy Razzball as only one run of 8 was earned.

Adam Wainwright – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Even more encouraging is his 17/4 K/BB in the last 22 2/3 innings.

Brad Ziegler/Andrew Bailey – Ziegler gave up the losing run, Bailey gave up two runs earlier.  I called up the A’s front office and asked to speak to the closer, and the receptionist said, “Who?”

Troy Percival – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  I don’t think he gets removed from the job, they’ll probably just place him on the Disgraceful List out of respect.  I own Wheeler in a league or two, Nelson might be called on too.

Tony Gwynn Jr. – Traded to the Padres.  All across San Diego, I picture sons approaching their fathers with this question, “Dad, why do you have a jersey of a guy that stinks?”

Joey Votto -  After a week of tests, there’s word that Votto could come back this weekend.  Turns out he had an ear infection.  Okay, here’s the thing, my meth addict neighbor could diagnose an ear infection.  WTF?  Seriously.

Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, the Rangers could only get one hit against Willis.  That’s right, Dwyck.  Dontrelle Willis went six and one-third, allowing only three baserunners and K’ing five.  The Rangers came into the game hitting lefties extremely well (.291) with Kinsler at .460 and Michael Young at .372.  So let’s all get jazzamatazzed, right?  Well, I don’t hold the same excitement.  His story definitely has the Lubitsch touch, but his last start was four earned in four and two-thirds against the Twins.  Dontrelle’s opponents will be tough, his recent history has been extremely poor and a 5/4 K/BB is poor.  There’s got to be at least a half dozen guys better on your waivers to take a chance on.  Let someone else buy a ticket for the D-Train.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

James Shields – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, zero run support.  If only they batted Sonnanstine third…

Josh Outman – 6 IP, 4 baserunners, 0 ER, 6 Ks.   His Ks are solid, but he walks too many guys and right now he’s getting a bit lucky with how many guys he’s leaving on base.  Then throw in the fact that he pitches for the A’s and their A’nemic offense.  Outman shouldn’t be in, man, outside of AL-Only leagues.

Shairon Martis – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Yeah, should’ve known better than to trust a Nats pitcher.  I’d love to say stick with him, but I don’t trust him enough; his walks are too ugly.  He may be 5-0 on the year, but he could be 5-5 by July.

Elijah Dukes – To the DL with a strained hamstring.  So far the Bowden Fluffers have appropriately sucked.

Orlando Hudson – Day-to-day with a bruised shoulder.  Isn’t that Osso Bucco?  Or is that braised?

J.A. Happ – I know a J.T.  Hagman was a J.R.  The Braves have a G.A.  But J.A.?  Those initials don’t go together.  They’re like N.G.  He’s replacing Chan No in the rotation and I like him in 12 team or deeper for match-ups.  This Saturday against the Yanks isn’t a great one though.

Gerardo Parra – 2-for-4 and hitting well since call-up.  Sometimes guys just breakout for no good reason.  Parra’s got room to play if he’s hot.  Could be what Fowler looked like in April.

Stephen Drew – 0-for-3, batting .203 on the seaosn.  It sure would be nice if he turned it on because the ‘Backs desperately want to believe in him as they bat him second, third and fourth on most nights.

Matt Palmer – 5 IP, 5 ER as he went to 5-0.  Matt Palmer?  Seriously?  Who’s he, a soap opera actor?

Josh Johnson – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Surreal how poorly my Win Karma is this year.  Johnson was bested by Jon Garland, who has more Wins on the season than him too.  Do I need to do some Angel Heart voodoo shizz?  A Jobu doll?  Matt Palmer?  Please, send me a signal.  Throw me a line.

Kelly Johnson – 3-for-4 with a steal as he batted in the six hole.  A) Johnson’s a streaky hitter. B) He claims to prefer hitting lower in the order. C) There’s no C.

Ian Stewart – 0-for-4 with three Ks.  It helps that Atkins has been dreadful, but Stewart needs to make it count.

Nolan Reimold – 1-for-3 and batting an empty .250.  Same dealio as Stewart.  He has the chance, but he needs to do something with it.

Adam Jones – When the Orioles emerged from their clubhouse, there was a huge cloud of smoke as Jones returned to the lineup.

Joe Mauer – 7th homer of the year.  Obviously, he’s a cyborg.  Or stole Soto’s soul.

Pedro Feliz – 9 for his last 18.  Currently on one of those Happy streaks.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 4 ER.  Not his best start of the year.  The glass half-filled with Cueto Kool-Aid points out he didn’t walk anyone.  Glass half-empty, he gave up two homers.

Colby Rasmus – Has hit two homers in two nights, three homers in the last five games and he had one homer rained out the other day.  Now if he can string together more than one hit in a game, we’ll be all set.

Rick Ankiel – Set to return.  If he’s on waivers anywhere because of an impatient owner, he’s worth a pickup.  Remember Ankiel wasn’t exactly lighting the world on fire when he was playing, so don’t get overzealous with who you drop.

Scott Baker – 5 IP, 4 ER.  And this came against the White Sox who have been scuffling for runs.  I think he’s headed back to the Disgraceful List.

Felix Hernandez – F-Her in the Big A and it didn’t work out well as he allowed 6 runs in 5 and two-thirds.

Barry Zito – 8 IP, 2 ER.  I admit it, I started him last night.  And I will again in his next start against the M’s.  From there, I’ll reevaluate.

Scott Hairston – HR yesterday as he went 2-for-2 and batted third.  I almost picked him up on Monday, but I was banking on a lot of steals against Chris Young and played speed heavy. (I came out with Nadir Bupkis.)

Bill Hall – H.A. double hockey sticks started at 3rd and went 1-for-4 with two Ks as Gamel combed his hair on the bench.

Kerry Wood – 4 earned runs as he blew… the save.  If there was anyone in the Indians bullpen worth owning, I’d say grab him, but alas there’s not.

Brian Bannister – 6 IP, 5 ER.  There’s the Bannister we know and don’t love.

Casey Blake – Hit his ninth homer yesterday and is batting .283 with 26 RBIs.  He’s out-hitting a lot of cornermen right now.

Noah Lowry – Scheduled to undergo surgery this week to have a rib removed from his left side. I know I’m not ordering the prime rib at Lawry’s any time soon.  Also, if I was Joe Nathan, I’d be very careful.

Josh Johnson injured? That would be precedented.  He came out of the game with a weak right shoulder.  Yeah, and I have a weak pitching staff without you.  Afterwards, Johnson said, “I just don’t feel great.”  That makes two of us.  Pitchers are always more prone to injuries than hitters and Johnson embodies that.  Or maybe he disembodies it.  Either way, this is bad news.  Hopefully, he caught the problem soon enough and won’t miss too much time.  I have a sinking feeling he’s headed for further bad news.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Davis – Hit the game winning homer.  After the game, here’s what CJ Wilson said on Twitter, “Rangers are crazy powerful in the late innings. chip davis looked like he was channeling MJ23 with his hop into the scrum.”  There’s so many things to take away from that, it’s hard to know where to start.  In other Twitter news, the other day someone asked Alyssa Milano if she reads Razzball.  This is the kind of initiative we need.  We should all go ask her to say hello in the comments here.  And congratulate her on her new book (and Embrace of the Vampire.)

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks.  If you’re not on the Wandwagon yet, you should be.

Brandon Morrow – I think he’s headed for the Disgraceful List.  Aardsma would be a smart play.

Michael Bourn – 4-for-5, 2 steals.  Clearly, Bourn got amnesia about what an awful player he was in the past.  I own him on a team.  Is it fo realz?  Who gives an eff in the effin’ eff hole?  He’s been great.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 2 ER, 4.65 on the year.  I think it gets to about 4.30 and then tails off again.

J.J. Putz – Bone spur in his elbow or some shizz.  I know, your Putz is hard to let go of, but K-Rod looks fine, there’s really no reason to be *pinkie to mouth* putzing around.

David Ortiz – 0-for-7, 3 Ks.  You know what would’ve been nice?  When Manny was caught taking lady pills, Ortiz saying he was juicing for five years.  When I compared him to Mo Vaughn, Sons of Sam Horn came out talking about how 2009 was Ortiz’s bounce back year.   Yeah, looks about right.

Ervin Santana – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 base runners and 5 Ks.  He didn’t pick up where he left off, obviously, but it was a tough first match up.  Now he needs to win the hearts and minds of his fantasy owners again.  Right now, they’re smitten with Wandy.

Matt Harrison – 2nd straight complete game.  Who are you, Matt Harrison?  I know!  Someone I wouldn’t own.

Carlos Delgado – Won’t go on the DL for at least a week.  Ain’t that grand?  Now he can take up a bench spot for you.

Felix Hernandez – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Gotta say I felt trepidations creeping through my skull bone on whether to start him against the Rangers.  Thankfully, I chip’d up and let him jump in the scrum.  Whatever the hell that means.

Erik Bedard – Probably will miss his Saturday start with a tight hamstring.  Tight hamstrings are the worst.  Why do they even put string around hams?

Billy Butler – 2-for-5 with his third homer of the year.  At the All-Star Game festivities, they should have a homer derby between Butler and Sandoval.  Mano vs. Mano; Moob vs. Moob; Fat Guy With No Power vs. Fat Guy With No Power.  Of course, the prize would be a ham — with no strings.

Asdrubal Cabrera – 4-for-5, now batting .336.  You guys mocked me when I said he was a good sleeper for this year.  Wait, that wasn’t mocking, that was ignoring.  Damn you!

David Wright – 4 steals.  Tied a Mets record.  No, not Reyes.  It was Vince Coleman.  This was according to Gary Cohen.  I didn’t fact check him, he could’ve made it up.

Fausto Carmona – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER and the Win.  Still not regretting dropping him.

Justin Verlander – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks.  That’s a mighty delish line.  I’m not a big flip-flopper, but 69 Ks over 50 and a third innings is terrific.  His 2nd month has been as great as his first month was bad.  Hopefully, he doesn’t turn back into a six-foot five pumpkin in June.

Nolan Reimold – 1-for-5, but at least he played.

Bill Hall – HR yesterday.  I see your Gamel and I raise you a boo-ya.

Colby Rasmus – HR yesterday.  Take your time, Ludwick.

Julio Lugo – 5-for-6, with a steal, hitting .359 since returning.  Can he fend off Nick Green?  God, I’d hope so.

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Scott Baker, Lieutenant Colonel of Suck.

Garrett Atkins – Major Suck.

Jake Peavy is scheduled to start on Thursday. Despite the fact that Peavy’s been on the DL for much of the year and the whole offense blows except for A-Gonz and Brian Giles’ OBP, San Diego is only 7 games back of Arizona. But just in case Jake was feeling nervous, we thought we’d calm him down with some inspiration from claymation canine Goliath (if this doesn’t ring a bell, watch the YouTube video first.)

Jake Peavy plaintively looking around the San Diego locker room at his teammates.

Goliath: Whatcha looking for, Peeeaveeey?
Jake: Goliath, do you see any hitters in this locker room?
Goliath: It matters what you mean by a hitter, Peeaveeey.
Jake: These people keep telling me that we have an offense but I look around and they all suck except for Adrian Gonzalez.
Goliath: That’s not a nice thing to say.
Jake: I know, Goliath. I guess I’m just nervous.
Goliath: Why is that, Peeeaveeey?
Jake: It’s just…I’m coming off a fairly long DL stint and my only practice was against my teammates. I’m afraid I’ll give up more than 1 run and then I won’t have a chance to get a win.
Goliath: Oh Peeeaveeey. Well I know a lot of fantasy baseball teams count on you and they realize you probably won’t win because the Padres offense is damned on account of Khalil Greene believing in a cockamamie religion.
Jake: Cocka-what?
Goliath: But if you give them 10 Ks and 3 runs or less in 7 IP, they’ll be very happy.
Jake: You really think so, Goliath.
Goliath: I know so, Peeeaveey. Now get off my DL and earn me some stats.
Jake: You got it, Goliath!

Anyway, here’s what else we saw:

Ryan Ludwick – The breakthrough season continues. 4-5, 2 2B, HR, 4 RBI. We have him as the 25th most valuable player so far this year (based on Point Shares). Ankiel chipped in a HR too. And no one involved in the Cardinal organization drove drunk tonight. That’s a heartwarming night for the Cards except….

Albert Pujols – Strained his calf and was helped off the field. He was said to have ‘calf cramps’ for a couple days now. Someone start massaging his motherfuckin’ calf. What’s the problem here? Wouldn’t be surprised if he hit the DL. At least he could spend some time with his children on Father’s Day – with the youngest entering college in September, he’s got to learn to cherish these moments.

Chris Duncan – If Pujols does take an extended siesta, we can see Dave’s Kid.

Dustin McGowan – Did his best Roy Halladay impersonation with a complete game win against Seattle. That is 5 quality starts out of 6 since his 9 ER stinker on May 10th

Dodgers – Furcal’s now rumored to be out until the All-Star Break. Schmidt smells like sourdough toast. Andruw would be shot if he was a horse. Nomar is more fragile than Alanis Morisette after a breakup. That’s 4 of your top 5 in Dodger salary. Hell, Juan Pierre is a relative bargain at $8MM/per….

Jonathan Broxton – Saw him bat yesterday. Member the show Mama’s Family? Imagine Mama with a bat.

Bill Hall – Started at 2nd with Rickie being weak. Hall at 2nd is butter on the rooster, if you catch my drift. (I don’t even catch my drift, but I’m writing this at midnight my time, so bear with me.)

Rocco Baldelli – Is playing in extended spring training. What is extended spring training? Is this like after hours clubs that always have the “most slammin’ music” and the “most bangin’ ladies” then when you show up it’s 30,000 Asian dudes with glow sticks drinking energy drinks.

Josh Barfield – Hurt himself right after getting called up. Looks like Father’s Day at the Barfield’s, Jesse might have to bust out those hilarious anecdotes of how him and his other son send each other to the hospital.