The other day we went over the top 20 third basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball for our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. Today, we turn our bejeweled eyeglasses to the top 20 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball. The top twenty outfielders will need to go to a top 40 then a top 60 then a top 80. Unfortunately, outfield is pretty shallow. Guess outfielders come in waves… much like sperm whales. Oofa! For five outfielder leagues, this really blows, which is only a positive if you’re a sperm whale. Zadow! As always, these top 20 outfielders are broken up into tiers with my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball:
6. Andrew McCutchen – Went over his projections in the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball. This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Pence. I call this tier, “These players. ‘What Grey wants in every league, Alex?’” The outfield isn’t quite as deep as it should be considering there’s three of these suckers playing at any given moment on all teams and the Reds have four.
8. Jay Bruce – What we got from Bruce last year may not have been totally Boss, but a guy that can give you a 30+ homer and 8+ steal season is valuable nowadays. If Bruce manages to pull a rabbit out of his hat, he could improve in all five categories and there will be a magician somewhere wondering why Jay Bruce has his rabbit. 2012 Projections: 90/34/100/.270/10
9. Josh Hamilton – I think the market has finally figured out Hamilton. No longer is everyone expecting a MVP season every time out. People have realized he’s Mr. Glass. When healthy, Hamilton hits homers and a solid average, runs and RBIs. When he’s not healthy, you plug in someone else. In 12 team mixed leagues, it’s much easier to do that than in deep AL-Only ones so keep that in mind when drafting. (In AL-Only leagues or any leagues with less waiver wire options, I’d move Hamilton down to the next tier.) 2012 Projections: 75/27/85/.295/7
10. Nelson Cruz – Take the above and just “find” Hamilton and “replace” with Cruz. I think the market has finally figured out Cruz. No longer is everyone–Well, you can do it on your own. 2012 Projections: 70/30/85/.260/10
11. Hunter Pence – He’s a square peg in this round tier. Everyone else in this tier has crazy upside and some potential pitfalls. Pence is steady as she goes, Raconteurs. Last year he hit a few less homers, but I could see him actually hitting a few more homers this year because he won’t be playing under the tyranny of the recently-exiled Ed Wade’s Toupee. (Was actually surprised Astros fans weren’t more excited about the disposal of the Toupee, but, then again, I don’t think there are Astros fans.) 2012 Projections: 95/25/100/.280/10
12. Curtis Granderson – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Victorino. I call this tier, “How is this tier different than all other tiers? This tier I’m going to pass over.” Went over his projections in the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.
13. Matt Holliday – I’m done with Holliday until next year or the year after when he falls into the tier of outfielders with guys like Vernon Wells. He’s still too coveted for what he used to do rather than what he’s about to do. Oh, and please don’t ask in the comments if this means I would never draft Holliday. I would take Pence, Cruz and Bruce before him and I’ve seen Holliday taken before them, so how am I drafting Holliday? I’m not taking four outfielders in the course of one pick, i.e., I’m not drafting Holliday before others so I’m not getting him. Sorry to longtime readers who had to read that, but I feel like I always get these questions around the time of rankings. 2012 Projections: 85/24/90/.305/5
15. Shane Victorino – We had a good run. Victorino and I. It’s come to an end. Howard’s banged up, Utley’s a nail clipping incident away from the 15-day DL and Rollins has more miles on him than your Chrysler LeBaron. Victorino’s runs and RBIs will be affected. His speed is affected by his age, and he’s not a big power threat. If he falls far enough I could see maybe taking him, but it’s time to bid him aloha. The goodbye version of aloha, that is. 2012 Projections: 85/15/55/.275/20
16. Michael Morse – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here into the top 40 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “I’ll happily reach for one of these guys if I have to, in the non-sexual way. Though it’s kinda sad this is the third tier of outfielders that I’m excited about. Times is tough, yo.” Went over Morse’s projections at the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball post.
17. Desmond Jennings – I already went over my Desmond Jennings 2012 fantasy. While I wrote it, a leprechaun with a broken GPS looking for a rainbow appeared out my window. 2012 Projections: 80/16/65/.275/35
18. B.J. Upton – Honestly, I might be the only fantasy baseball ‘pert who doesn’t mind Fellatio Upton. Sure, he hits for a wonky average, but so does your mom. (Actually, I don’t know how well your mom hits for average. Though she looks like she can’t leg out many infield hits on those cankles.) Upton hits for power and steals bases. I’m willing to go out on a limb that he can luck into a .260 average one of these years with his wheels and still go 20/40. At 27 years of age, this is the year I’m betting on. 2012 Projections: 80/20/85/.250/40
19. Adam Jones – He has a few strikes against him. But games haven’t started yet?! Strikes against him was a figure of speech, Random Italicized Voice. Jones’s ground ball rate isn’t great, which makes me think we’ll need to be lucky to get over 25 homers and his walk rate is near abysmal. A guy that can give 25/12/.285 is valuable though in today’s bear market, which only sounds like a grocery store in The Castro. 2012 Projections: 80/25/90/.285/12
20. Drew Stubbs – Stubbs isn’t really the same player as Fellatio Upton, so I battled with how to get him out of the same tier. I battled myself by dunking my hands in two bowls of Jell-O, then thumb-wrestling myself to a ten round draw. I ended up figuring it was fine to put Stubbs in the same tier but below him. 2012 Projections: 80/17/55/.240/40
We continue our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball. There’s no 2nd baseman in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball. At least by my calculation. Some ‘perts are putting Cano in the top 10, but I see him just outside of the top 10, but then again 2nd base is packed to the rafters with production. It looks deeper than the 1st basemen pool and I’m only being half-facetious. It’s like all 2nd basemen slept at a Holiday Inn last night. There’s 15 guys I would take and if I had a middle infield spot on my roster, I’d definitely look to put a 2nd baseman in there. As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:
4. Dan Uggla – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Utley (or Cuddyer, if he has eligibility). I call this tier, “I see good value. Draft one.” This tier name sounds like I’m a handicapper for horse races. Gambler’s Ruin is great on mud, put all your money on him! Member when Dan Uggla was hitting, like, .180 and it was July and you were like, “Screw this, homie! I’m going gangster on my team and trading Uggla for an Obama Chia.” Then your neighbor saw that getting dropped off at your doorstep, stole it and Uggla went on to hit in like 40 games straight. Nothing ever works out for you, huh? Now I’m Worried you left on the oven after drying your pantyhose. (That Twitter feed is a friend’s. You follow now, thank you.) Uggla wasn’t quite the hitter we saw during his hitting streak (no kidding!) but he isn’t a sub-.200 hitter either. Or is it eyether? Let’s call this whole thing off! Wait, he is a 35 homer hitter. I’ll take that and a box of Ding Dongs! And, no, box of Ding Dongs isn’t a new Timberlake/Samberg song. (Yes, that’s two days and two ding dong jokes. My cup runneth over with ding dong jokes. I am the ding dongiest!) 2012 Projections: 90/35/105/.250/3
5. Howie Kendrick – Sometimes when you go out on a limb, the limb breaks and you fall on your ass. That might happen with Kendrick in 2012, but I’m going all in. From 2010 to 2011 in 18 less games, he went from 10 homers to 18 homers and struck out more. His HR/FB rate was high and he’s injury-prone. It points to flukey. I see a guy with 15 homer power, 15 steal speed, 100 runs and 75 RBIs potential that should hit around .290. It’s okay, but what puts me over on him is he’s in the prime of his career so he should max out his power and look like Pedroia at a cheaper cost. Oh, and one thing that’s been criminally under-reported, the Angels added Pujols. You think someone would’ve talked about that. 2012 Projections: 100/18/70/.290/15
6. Brandon Phillips – Joey Votto’s gonna win the MVP and Brandon Phillips is going to be hoisted onto Jay Bruce’s shoulders next October with the team dedicating their World Series victory to their former pitching coach, Dick Pole. Just so they can see people on Twitter snicker at his mention. That’s how I see things playing out. Phillips won’t be their regular season hero; he’ll be a piece. The wily vet that plays 150 games a year and gets all those counting stats and has some power and speed that people credit more for their clubhouse leadership. Whatever, B.P. is still greasing up some decent stats for his position. 2012 Projections: 90/20/85/.275/17
7. Chase Utley – Nah, he’s not winning the MVP again. Well, I guess anything’s possible if he’s wearing one of Ryan Braun’s Ed Hardy t-shirts, but it seems like the best is behind him like J. Lo. Then throw in you have no idea how long Ryan Howard is going to be out, then throw in Utley’s inability to stay healthy, then throw in his pomade, then throw in a leprechaun’s toenail and the steam that rises from the brew you threw all that in reads, “Utley should be avoided.” Now what if I said I didn’t agree? He’s never had a season of 120+ games where he’s been useless. Granted, getting to 120 games has been an issue, but we knew going into last year he wasn’t going to be right. When he did come back, his speed was fine. Like he was never hurt. His power was off, but so was his homers per fly ball. His average was off, but so was his luck. He’s going to get you 2nd to 3rd round numbers at a much cheaper price than he usually is. BTW, if he’s bad this year, his career’s in trouble. I think he knows that too. 2012 Projections: 80/20/85/.280/15
7 1/4. Michael Young – Only has 14 games at 2nd so he may not have eligibility in all leagues. To see Young’s projections go to the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.
8. Ben Zobrist – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Weeks. I call this tier, “Others are taking these guys before me.” I really don’t like Zobrist. His stats are just too flaky for my tastes. One year he hits .297 then .238 then .269. Then he hits 27 homers then 10 then 20. “Hey, fella, how about you just hit 17 homers and stop confusing Grey?!” That’s you in the first row behind the Rays’ dugout because you’re protecting my honor. Thx, btw! (Don’t you love when someone abbreviates thanks as thx? Gee, thanks so much for showing me your appreciation by almost writing a WHOLE SIX LETTER WORD!) I’m ranking Zobrist later than most ‘perts because I don’t want him, but if he fell to me I would take him because he seems like he’s capable of a 15/15 season. Plus or minus 15 homers and steals. Yeah, he’s all over the map. 2012 Projections: 75/17/90/.255/17
9. Rickie Weeks – Stop me if you’ve heard this before– Stop! I haven’t said anything yet, Random Italicized Voice. I’ve heard, “Stop me if you’ve heard this before” before. Here’s the games played for Weeks over his career — 96, 95, 118, 129, 37, 160, 118. Throw out 37 and 160 and on average he plays in 118 games. Or maybe that’s the median. Or the mean. I don’t know. What I do know is he can’t stay healthy. He can repeat his power output from last year and chuck in about 10 steals if he’s healthy, but that “if” is the size of Gilbert Grape’s mom. 2012 Projections: 65/18/50/.260/10
10. Danny Espinosa – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Kelly Johnson. I call this tier, “Shine’s off these guys, but I like them. Even if they might hit .240 collectively.” At 24 years old, Espinosa hit 21 homers and stole 17 bases. That’s the good news. The very good news is he can hit more homers and steal more bases. The so-so news is it might not be much more of either. The bad news is he hit .236. The not good or not bad news is his luck was neutral. The “Is this really even news anymore?” news is Espinosa won’t ever hit for much of an average without luck. The last bit of news is I’m not wearing pants. 2012 Projections: 80/24/90/.240/19
11. Aaron Hill – Here’s what I said towards the end of last year, “Hill looked to be an average issue hitter that could at least give you power. Not this year. His power completely evaporated. Oddly enough, he doubled his line drive rate from 2010 and lowered his K-rate. In short (which I only say after going long), Hill’s season made no sense. Seriously, I can’t make heads or tails of it. Yes, even in hindsight it’s not 20/20. It will take some brass ones to go all in on Hill again next year, but I’m leaning that way right now.” And that’s me quoting me! Now, looking at Hill, I’m still no cyclops with a monocle. What we do know is he hit .315 in Arizona in the 33 games after he was traded. It’s something! I don’t get where those 21 steals came from last year, but if it was some kind of deal with the devil, he forgot to specify to leave his power alone and the devil duped him. You duping devil! 2012 Projections: 70/18/80/.265/15
12. Kelly Johnson – After a trade that sent Hill to the D-Backs and Johnson to the Jays, these two will be forever linked. Or just for right now in the rankings. Either way, let’s pretend we’re in the first semester of our junior year of high school and we’re taking the SATs. The final question will send you to either Brown or nowhere because you refuse to have a safety school. Question: In 2008, Kelly Johnson hit .287. In 2009, he hit .224. In 2010, he hit .284. In 2011, he hit .222. What will he hit in 2012? You know the answer; Brown’s within reach! You say he’ll hit around .280 and… You’re wrong. You then go on a 15-month bender that finds you waiting tables on an over-60 cruise ship and making out with grandmothers. His good/bad alternating averages don’t mean anything, except it does tell us it’s not out of the realm of possibility for Johnson to hit something respectable. 2012 Projections: 80/20/70/.265/14
13. Jason Kipnis – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Ackley. I call this tier, “Sleepers or guys that are overdrafted depending on how smart your leaguemates think they are.” What I mean by the tier name is in leagues with people who prep the day before and just fly by the seat of their pants, this tier probably won’t be that known unless you’re in Cleveland, Seattle or Oakland. In leagues where owners started prepping last November, there’s giant flashing lights on this tier’s players to the point where people will probably reach for them way too early. As for Jason Kipnis, I already went over my Kipnis 2012 fantasy. I wrote it enclosed with a giant heart on a bathroom stall. 2012 Projections: 80/14/60/.255/12
14. Jemile Weeks – Member when 2nd base was a speed position? Was before Bret Boone started frosting his hair. All of these 2nd basemen that are on the scene today probably idolized Boone and his frosted tips. They probably even went as far to emulate him and frosted their hair too. When Jemile frosted his hair, his classmates probably called him Sisqo, which is downright embarrassing, so he decided to rebel against the power 2nd baseman and work on his speed. Or not. Simply a theory. Weeks reminds me a bit of Luis Castillo. That takes some air out of your Jemile Weeks balloon, huh? Hey, Castillo had some good years. 2012 Projections: 90/3/50/.265/30
15. Dustin Ackley – I’m having a real hard time understanding the hype on Ackley. To the point where I’m not drafting him unless he falls pretty far. He’s never hit more than 9 homers at any level of professional ball or stole more than 8 bases. Granted, these were abbreviated seasons, but he’s also going to be playing his home games in a terrible hitting park. I’m gonna let someone else take the chance that he shows his ceiling of 15 homers and 15 steals while expecting he shows something closer to… 2012 Projections: 80/12/55/.265/12
16. Ryan Roberts – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Beckham. I call this tier, “Post-hype and no hype guys. I guess I’ll draft them, but they’d have to be super cheap.” Ryan Roberts reads to me like a Ryan Ludwick/Casey McGehee-type. Never considered much of anything, then they explode on the scene at a late age, then they return to Back To Wherever You Came From-ville (which has higher real estate prices than I’m So Outta Here-ville cause of the influx of has-beens). There should be a glossary term for these type of no hype players that only have one good year. Suggest in the comments. 2012 Projections: 55/13/65/.245/15
17. Neil Walker – This guy isn’t far off from Ryan Roberts. They’re pretty much flip-floppable (Made Up Word of the Day!). But since Roberts just came off a better season, I put them in this order. Could see Walker outperforming him in 2012, but not by much since Walker doesn’t have huge power or speed. Not that Roberts does either… Whatever, I don’t like either, stop arguing with me! 2012 Projections: 70/12/80/.270/7
18. Gordon Beckham – Something that hasn’t been reported (or at least by me) is: Could Ozzie leaving town have a positive impact on some White Sox players? You know, the guys that he used to ball-bust. I wouldn’t be shocked if Beckham comes around as a post-hype sleeper just to prove Ozzie wrong. Am I betting a whole lot that that (stutterer!) is gonna happen? Oh, hells no! Beckham just came off a season where 21% of all of his fly balls were infield pop-ups. That’s terrible. In my opinion (and, really, if you don’t want my opinion, you’re probably reading the wrong site), a hitter can’t make worst contact than an infield pop. By drafting Beckham, you’re basically saying that his last two years were a fluke and he’s going to fix everything. Put the chances of that happening in one hand and the chances of it not happening in the other hand and you have two empty hands. Can’t really weigh chances. Maybe you shouldn’t have quit college to become a scale. 2012 Projections: 55/14/70/.260/5
19. Ryan Raburn – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Roberts. I call this tier, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and shame on you again. I’m good at displacing blame.” Bill James still believes. He has Raburn’s 2012 projections down for 18/4. Last year was the chance for Raburn to become relevant. He’s going to be 31 years old for the majority of the 2012 season. I got better things to do than draft a 31-year-old player who has never shown much of anything. Not to mention, there’s been talk of him blahtooning with Ramon Santiago. That’s nice, have fun! 2012 Projections: 40/12/50/.275/3
20. Brian Roberts – I’m sure Brian Roberts never thought he’d be passed on the rankings by a name that people used to mistakenly call him. Here’s the world’s smallest violin. Here’s me putting the world’s smallest violin on eBay. Here’s someone Buying It Now for one cent and playing it just for Brian Roberts. 2012 Projections: 65/5/35/.260/12
After the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but these stand out, for better or worse:
Daniel Murphy – I left him off the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball and that top 20 went to, like, 30. Honestly, seriously, Cliff Lee, I can’t imagine drafting Murphy anywhere. If he hits in the beginning of the year, you can pick him off waivers in most leagues as a hot schmotato. 2012 Projections: 75/12/60/.275/5
Sean Rodriguez – I almost feel the same way about Sean-Rod as I do with Raburn. Go reread Raburn’s blurb in the passive voice. The one positive on Sean-Rod that Raburn lacks is age. Sean-Rod will only be 27 this April. If there’s no one left on the board, I’d take the flyer and hope Sean-Rod does something. His K-rate tells me he probably won’t. 2012 Projections: 55/14/65/.230/10
Jose Altuve – I haven’t written a Jose Altuve sleeper post yet, but my Magic Eight Ball says, “There’s a chance you write a sleeper post on Jose Altuve.” When I bought this Magic Eight Ball in 1989, I never understood why it kept saying that. In the minors, Altuve showed he could get to double digit power and low 20′s steal-speed. I’ve seen worse. You feel me?! If you do, could you stop? I hate looking at Astros hitters for anything other than which pitchers to stream against them, but Altuve looks like he could have some sneaky value. Now to figure out why my Magic Eight Ball keeps telling me to write a sleeper post for Ken Griffey Jr. Jr. Jr. 2012 Projections: 80/12/40/.265/24 (<–crazy optimistic, but whatevs)
We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or less of equal depth. For instance, Darwin Barney was ranked 20th for 2nd basemen and 19th for shortstops, and Daniel Murphy was ranked 15th for 2nd basemen and 16th for 3rd basemen. To recap, this final ranking for last year is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Dustin Pedroia – It didn’t hurt Pedroia that the Sawx were in the hunt for a playoff spot until the very end of September. Lot better than guys who are coasting through the last two weeks. Pedroia actually didn’t exceed expectations by as much as his stats would seem. What he did was get more PAs than were on the last Michael Bay film. When a player exceeds 700 plate appearances, he’s bound to put up some good stats, unless his name is Nick Markakis. Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections: 105/15/65/.290/15, Final Numbers: 102/21/91/.307/26
2. Robinson Cano – The curious case of Robinson Cano. In the preseason, I said he was overrated, yet I gave him projections pretty close to where he ended up. So was I right and he was overrated? I’m gonna say no. He wasn’t quite the 1st round pick that some people were making him, but considering how terrible most high picks did and how shallow 2nd base is, Cano provided stability and stats. Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections: 100/27/100/.310/3, Final Numbers: 104/28/118/.302/8
3. Ian Kinsler – In the preseason, I ranked Kinsler above where most ‘perts had him. I wanted to believe he could stay healthy one of these years. Bingo bango! Preseason Rank #2, 2011 Projections: 85/22/60/.270/17, Final Numbers: 121/32/77/.255/30
5. Brandon Phillips – He seems like he’s always planking on a 18/14 season give or take a few homers and steals. His average was high for him this year. That was partly due to his line drive rate being up, partly due to his luck. Maybe The Ghost of a Racist Marge Schott was trying to make amends by helping some of his seeing-eye hits get through. Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections: 85/20/70/.270/17, Final Numbers: 94/18/82/.300/14
6. Ben Zobrist – He had three big months (April, July and September) and three terrible months. Like off the charts bad (June: zero homers and 2 steals; August: 1 homer, .250; May: 2 homers, 0 steals, .232 and only 5 RBIs in 99 ABs; that’s e to the gregious). I never feel confident enough to draft Zobrist because he still seems like an overachieving utility man to me, but as Zobrist would say, “Don’t call me a utility man and don’t call Creed Christian rock.” Preseason Rank #8, 2011 Projections: 70/15/70/.260/15, Final Numbers: 99/20/91/.269/19
9. Ryan Roberts – First time in a long time that I can remember the first out of nowhere name being this low on a year end list of 2nd basemen. Usually someone will sneak into the top 5 for a shallow position. Last year, Kelly Johnson and Casey McGehee exceeded expectations. The year before Zobrist and Aaron Hill emerged. I’m not sure what this means, but I think it means something. Razzball: Where We Raise Questions We Can’t Answer! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 86/19/65/.249/18
10. Dan Uggla – When I explained in the preseason why I had Uggla a bit lower than some other ‘perts, here’s what I said, “The reason why he’s ranked below some of the guys above but his projections look as good if not better is because A) Kinsler has the biggest upside. B) Phillips and Pedroia are safer. C) Uggla has the biggest downside in one category, i.e. he could hit .240.” And that’s me quoting me! In the end, he didn’t quite get to .240. Yup. Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections: 90/32/100/.265/5, Final Numbers: 88/36/82/.233/1
11. Neil Walker – Couple of things come to mind when I see how close my preseason projections were to the final numbers for Neil Walker. A) I ranked him lower than he ended up, which means 2nd base was even shallower than I thought it would be. B) His numbers were terrible and he still ranked this high, which is more just a continuation of the first point. C) There’s no C. Preseason Rank #15, 2011 Projections: 65/15/75/.260/7, Final Numbers: 76/12/83/.273/9
12. Rickie Weeks – In the preseason, I called Rickie Weeks overrated because of his injury risk. As I said then and will say again, it was the easiest call of the preseason. Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections: 85/18/65/.250/14, Final Numbers: 77/20/49/.269/9
13. Danny Espinosa – I pushed Espinosa pretty hard in the preseason because, as always, I ignore average and get all pumped up on power and speed. He succeeded and failed where I thought he would. Preseason Rank #21, 2011 Projections: 60/15/70/.245/17, Final Numbers: 72/21/66/.236/17
14. Jemile Weeks – Will probably be overdrafted next year. I say this because he hasn’t shown any power, he plays in a terrible park with a terrible team and his walk rate (in the majors, at least) was pretty bleh. With all that said (here comes opposite talk!), he had a great season for a midseason call-up. He gave you what you were hoping to get from Chone Figgins (Member him? No, I don’t either.). Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 50/2/36/.303/22
15. Daniel Murphy – How kiddie pool shallow were the 2nd basemen? Murphy ranked this high and he played his last game on August 7th. Three ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 2nd basemen! Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 49/6/49/.320/5
16. Kelly Johnson – He seems to alternate years with a hard-to-digest average. (In 2009, it was .224.) This coincides with a poor BABIP. This year’s BABIP wasn’t as bad as 2009, but his K-rate was terrible, which helped attribute to the poor average. He should be able to bounce back next year, but that’s far from a lock. Preseason Rank #13, 2011 Projections: 80/17/.260/60/12, Final Numbers: 75/21/58/.222/16
17. Aaron Hill – Fitting that Hill and Johnson would be tied together in the year-end rankings, since they were swapped mid-year and had very similar seasons in the general sense. In the specific, their seasons were totally different. Hill looked to be an average issue hitter that could at least give you power. Not this year. His power completely evaporated. Oddly enough, he doubled his line drive rate from 2010 and lowered his K-rate. In short (which I only say after going long), Hill’s season made no sense. Seriously, I can’t make heads or tails of it. Yes, even in hindsight it’s not 20/20. It will take some brass ones to go all in on Hill again next year, but I’m leaning that way right now. Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections: 80/25/85/.275/5, Final Numbers: 61/8/61/.246/21
18. Martin Prado – During the preseason, I ranked him extremely low at 17th overall for 2nd basemen. This was such blasphemy, Matthew Berry called me out during one of his chats to say I was stoopid (sic). Turned out I didn’t rank him low enough, with rank being the key word. Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections: 85/12/60/.300/5, Final Numbers: 66/13/57/.260/4
19. Chase Utley – Sadly, the Utley we fell in love with in 2005 is no longer with us. This new version is brittle like his pomade after it dries. On a side note, with the loss of Howard for most if not all of 2012 and Utley’s deteriorating health, the Phils got weak fast. Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections: 50/14/55/.280/5, Final Numbers: 54/11/44/.259/14
20. Darwin Barney – I didn’t rank him in the preseason and he shouldn’t even be ranked now. The Purple Evolutionist’s final numbers show a guy that was helpful for a couple weeks here and there, but if you owned him all year, you lost your league. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 66/2/43/.276/9
Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau. That’s how easily players can get knocked out. This injury comes on a day where Asdrubal hit his 24th homer. Even if Da ‘drubal doesn’t return, he gave you everything he had this year. Drubal took ’11 to 11. For next year, I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a tad overrated. He never hit more than 10 homers in any professional. He’s been consistent with power this year from month to month, but his HR/FB% soared away above anywhere it had ever been before. He should still be able to get around 15 homers next year, but if you get a 15/15 season, you’re suddenly wondering if a sure-to-be-underrated Jimmy Rollins isn’t a safer way to go. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Billy Butler – Missed yesterday’s game with the flu. Someone dump a Gatorade cooler of chicken soup over Butler’s head.
Yunel Escobar – To the DL with an elbow injury. Bobby Cox just wishes he injured it on Kelly Johnson’s face.
Brett Cecil – 3 IP, 4 ER which was followed by Kyle Drabek’s 2 IP, 6 ER as unrealized potential met yet-to-be-unrealized potential.
Doug Fister – Will be pitching in relief of Scherzer on Wednesday rather than starting as the Tigers get ready for the playoffs. If Fister is the relief, I don’t even want to know what Scherzer translates to.
Randall Delgado – 5 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 1 K. Freakin’ Braves with all the sexy young pitching, huh? Freakin’ Braves. I love them. Beachy, Minor, Delgado, Vizcaino, all of them. Now I know how Bill James feels when looking at Chris Davis. Shoot that poisoned arrow through my heart, Braves pitching staff minus Jurrjens, Lowe and anyone else I’m forgetting that I don’t like!
Alex Gonzalez – 2-for-3 with his 15th homer, then left with a foot injury. Comes a bad time because he was putting the coals in the fire, which isn’t an expression but should be.
Jason Heyward – 1-for-3 with a steal. 5 for his last 10 with a homer while batting in the 8 hole. Maybe he just needed to be in the 8 hole to be comfortable, or maybe he’s just really too good to be batting in the 8 hole. Hmm, wonder which one it is.
Pablo Sandoval – Hasn’t been able to bat right-handed because of a shoulder injury and might have offseason surgery to correct the issue. Or that’s a cover for Lap-Band.
Ben Zobrist – Returns to the lineup on Wednesday after taking time off for the birth of his daughter. No word on how many positions Mrs. Zobrist utilized for the birth, but – based on her profession – I’m guessing missionary on the conception.
Wade Davis – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER. Too bad he doesn’t play for the Jays, he could’ve relieved Drabek with his potentially-yet-to-be-unrealized-potential-that-might-not-be-potential-anymore potential.
Manny Ramirez – It’s being reported he’s going to play in the Dominican Winter League. He’s hoping to meet up with Miguel Tejada down there to reminisce about the salad days of the 90s. Maybe even start up a band, Man-Ram and the B-12 with their lead single, “Just Give Me A Shot (Of Your Sweet Sweet Estrogen Therapy).”
Adam Dunn – 2-for-6 as he doubled his season hit total. No, wait, he doubled twice. Sorry, honest mistake.
Dylan Axelford – 4 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 11 baserunners, 3 Ks. He was coming off a decent start vs. the Tigers but you shouldn’t have went anywhere near him for this start. Though I can understand how you could get seduced by his conglomeration of cool names.
Bud Norris – Left his start with a sore shoulder. He’s done for the year. Or as they say in Spanish ‘ano completo.’
Kyle Blanks – Left the game with a right quad strain. Seventeen men helped him off the field.
Jason Kipnis – 2-for-4 with a steal in the first game, and didn’t start the 2nd game. He should’ve though because he’s seeing the ball well. He’s hit in every game he’s started but three since August 1st. (Sure, he’s missed about 20 games in there, but whatevs.)
Alex Liddi – His 2nd game in a row with a homer. In broken English, he told reporters, “I drink your pizza! I drink it up!”
Tom Milone – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 2 Ks. Second start solid start for Milone. He looks to be in the Slowey mold back before Slowey got screws put in his wrist and then put the screws to his fantasy owners. Once upon a midnight dweawy, Slowey pondewed weak and weawy what could’ve been. I still wouldn’t trust Milone if he gets one more start, but he’s now on the radar for deeper leagues in Twenty-Twelve. Or as I’m gonna call it twelve past twenty.
Ross Detwiler – 7 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks. Phils are in serious coast mode.
Danny Espinosa – 3-for-4 with his 20th homer. You’re probably thinking to yourself, I don’t have the profiteroles to go with the cannoli to like Espinosa again next year. You, sir, don’t know my pastry prowess.
Erik Bedard – 2 2/3 IP, 1 ER (3 unearned). Of course the Sawx want to get to the playoffs, but has anyone seen their last four starters? Wakefield, Weiland, Lackey, Bedard… So, they gonna pitch Lester and Beckett on one day rest throughout the playoffs?
Clay Buchholz – Threw a simulated game. Unfortunately, he gave up 7 runs, but the 1976 Cincinnati Reds are a tough Strat-o-Matic matchup. Damn you, George Foster!
Zack Cozart is a pickup in all leagues where you need a middle infidel. Go, I’ll wait here. *scratches chin, yawns, covers mustache with two fingers to see what I look like without it, shakes head* Welcome back! Cozart hit 17 homers and stole 30 bases last year. You know who that reminds me of? No, not you in high school. Let it go, man. It reminds me of Danny Espinosa. Danny has a bit more power and a bit less speed, but tomato-tomato with a different emphasis. Cozart also comes with the same potential to be an average drain. Also, Espinosa and Cozart sounds like a promising TNT drama starring Freddy Prinze Jr. and Stifler. In real baseball (which is played with more crotch scratching, but less crotch grabbing), Cozart’s just okay. A potential 15/20 guy (over the course of a whole season) at shortstop in fantasy baseball is a yes, please and thank you. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Edinson Volquez – Optioned to Triple-A in hopes that Edinson can rediscover his electric stuff. I have an idea for his rehab: don’t let him pitch the first inning.
Dontrelle Willis – Will take Edinson’s spot on Sunday. For those thinking about picking him up, I have a question for you — What’chu talkin’ about… Willis?!
Jason Heyward – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and a long overdue slam & legs. As I was doing my top 100 for the 2nd half that will be posted next Tuesday, I was contemplating where to put Heyward because I thought he might still be injured. This game was either a nice sign or Heyward messing with me. Probably the former, if former means the first one.
Kyle Seager – The guy who sounds like an 80′s sitcom character is going to play the majority of 3rd base for the Mariners. In related news, Chone Figgins will be out of baseball in less than two years. Anyone want any action? So Seager is a high average, just meh power and speed guy. Kinda like a poor man’s Prado, or I guess that’s a Prado knockoff. I’m not a huge fan of Prado so you can imagine how I feel about Seager. It’s just a’ight in AL-Only leagues.
Jason Kendall – It looks like shoulder surgery will force him into retirement. Much like Pudge, Kendall has moved long ago from an elite fantasy catcher. But here are some crazy stats for you courtesy of Rudy: Kendall is 3rd all-time amongst Catchers (80+% of games at catcher) in Hits and Times On Base (behind Pudge and Fisk). That’s ahead of Berra, Bench, Piazza, Dickey, and Carter. And his .366 OBP beats all the aforementioned catchers except Piazza. He’s also 5th all time amongst all hitters in HBP. But his lack of power puts his Wins Above Replacement lower than those catchers and a few other non-HOF catchers like Munson, Freehan, and Darrell “Big Frames” Porter. Whew, because a Jason Kendall for HOF advocacy would be as joyless as owning him the past 7 years. (Note from Grey: One last time: Much like a Ken doll, Kendall has no bat.)
Charlie Blackmon – Could miss the rest of the season with a fractured bone in his foot. What? This is baseball! Not football! (Though if you’re into fantasy football, Chet’s holding a contest where he’s giving away $300. I’m guessing you’ll get it in unmarked pennies. Now go check it out.)
Juan Nicasio – 2 1/3 IP, 5 ER. Mr. Obvious, “Nicasio can’t be relied on in any leagues right now.”
Wade Davis – To the 15-day DL with a forearm strain. Maybe it was trying to be a fivearm. Hamilton-Burrishly, Alex Cobb and Sonnanstine will now duel over Davis’s open rotation spot.
Lonnie Chisenhall – Was plunked in the face. Eric Plunk, “You owe me a nickel for using that verb.” Um, okay. So this sounds like terrible news. I’m beginning to think every hitter should wear Great Gazoo helmets. As soon as I hear more news on Lonnie, I’ll repurpose the information with a bit of humor and let you know.
Josh Reddick – Hit his 2nd homer yesterday. I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he’s not. He’s here now, you need this shizz spoon-fed to you?
Andrew Miller – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 0 Ks. He got lucky. Now if you press your luck and start him again, you may get a whammy.
Mike Stanton – Now back-to-back games with a homer as he screamed in the baseball’s face a’la CT, “I will smoke you!”
Brad Hand – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks. This comes after two starts where he didn’t get out of the fifth inning. I’m not calling this start a liar, but I believe the last two starts more. Also, Clay Hensley could take Hand’s spot in the rotation soon after the All-Star break.
Ben Zobrist – 8 for his last 12 with a home run yesterday. BenZo looks to be rolling once again.
B.J. Upton – 2-for-4 with his 14th homer — not in this game, that would’ve been a record prior to the steroid era. He also has 20 steals. If he could just get his average up to .280, he’d be such a force. I think I’m going all in on him next year when he’s 27. Poppycock, you say. Okay, but what the eff is poppycock and why are you saying it?
Rich Harden – 5 IP, 5 ER. Usually if he stays healthy, he’s dominant but this start was bleh. Harden, “I can too stay healthy! Ow! I juth bit my lip when I said ‘eathy!”
Philip Humber – 3 2/3 IP, 6 ER. Mmm-hmm.
Max Scherzer – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 2 Ks. Sonavabench! Hey, I know that impersonation — it’s Liriano, and I don’t like it.
Matt Garza – 2 IP, 6 ER as the Nats had an extravaGarza. Watch your toes, everyone. Garza continues to take steps backwards. Garza’s xFIP was under 3.00 before this game. Too bad I don’t freakin’ play in a league with xFIP. I wish he’d just have an aggressive burp, throw out his back and go to the DL.
Frank Francisco – Recorded no outs and gave up 3 earned runs. Looks like I don’t have to be embarrassed that I tattooed Rauch’s name on my fantasy baseball team’s neck.
Carlos Villanueva – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. After the break, the Blue Kays get the Yankees, Mariners, Rangers and Orioles respectively. If Chuck Newtown gets the M’s and O’s, then nom nom. If he gets the Yanks and Texas, then indigestion.
Cory Luebke - 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I’m flummoxed why I have to beg people to pick up certain pitchers. BTW, you can’t spell flummoxed without the lox, which Eli Whiteside provides.
Jered Weaver – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks. ERA is now at 1.86, WHIP is 0.91. What a dream, Weaver. The highest compliment I can give a player is, “Hey, really nice mustache.” But my 2nd highest compliment is I wish I owned them on every team.
Jose Reyes – To the DL with his bad hamstring. Get Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber for Jose Reyes’s hamstring! He’s supposed to be out for three weeks now. I hate the Mets. Why can’t they just say when a player is going to be out for an extended period of time? Who’s their doctor? Dr. Rosenrosen? Mr. Met probably has gigantism and they’re pretending he’s a cute, baseball-headed mascot.
Roger Clemens – I hope I don’t have to put an asterisk on my 1997 fantasy baseball championship.
